What's a good way to tell your boss your co-worker sucks and not sound like you are whining

[farmo83]

As background I work in Energy Trading and recently transferred into a new group in July. My counterpart has been here around 18 months and came from the legal department. She’s very nice, however her ability to the get job done is just not there. Legal to Trading is a huge leap, while I’m well versed in my field, If I went to the legal department I’m sure I would suck for a while too. Groups we support frequently leave her out of projects for her area, which means all of that work comes to me. When going through things she’ll ask questions that do not reflect well on her at all, it would be similar to a mechanic asking the difference between gas and oil, or an electrician asking the difference between hot and ground. Anything not spelled out in a process document she’ll ask me to figure out etc. I am all for helping out co workers and have done so a lot in my career. Even with her I’ve scheduled learning sessions, loaned her reference text, and pulled some strings to get her into a class that I think would really help her, however I don’t have the time to keep doing this and it’s really getting old. I’ve tried to include her on all communications that the groups we support cut her out of, the result of this has been she thinks I am hogging all the work and attention. In my mind this leaves 3 bad choices.

1. I can tell the groups we support they have to go to her, I can’t help them
2. I can give her the work she should be doing and tell her you just have to figure this out with out me.
3. I can just do the work myself and completely cut her out.

I’ve had my fill of all of this and want to address this with my boss, I don’t want to come off like a whining 2 year old though.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Chili Palmer]

Have a "come to Jesus" talk with her and let her know that for the time she's been in this department she should have picked up on how things are done, she's had training and if she doesn't get it yet, there's nothing you can do. You've been patient, you've picked up the slack, that isn't part of your job, others are leaving her out of loop and coming to you because they just don't want to deal with her. You've done your part, but right now it's sink or swim, and if you don't get it by now maybe you should ask for a transfer to another department.
Also document this and any other issues you or others have had with her so if she goes to HR and complains that you're being mean to her, you've got ammunition to back it up.

Good luck.

 

[Ultra...Good]

No practical advice except to keep your head on a swivel. Sucks to be in that spot. Was there once, kind of.

 

[Done-it-again]

That’s a touchy situation since she’s a women and you will come off as an entitled male who hates women. If she’s that bad, it will show and best to let her sink herself.

 

[JDKRXW]

Seeing that she's been there a year longer than you have, it would be interesting to know why your predecessor left.
To be fair, it seems to me that option 2 is what I'd be looking at. It keeps your nose clean and you can document all the assistance you're providing.

OR ... transfer out. A half smart boss should figure out he's got a lot to lose here.

 

[farmo83]

Seeing that she's been there a year longer than you have, it would be interesting to know why your predecessor left.
To be fair, it seems to me that option 2 is what I'd be looking at. It keeps your nose clean and you can document all the assistance you're providing.
OR ... transfer out.

My predecessor got burnt out doing the same coverage I've been doing for a year. They hired me to help spread the wealthy so to speak, however it ended up being was too little to late. She called her former boss and got transferred out. I don't blame her and am.happy for her I'll try the same thing in another 6 months at this pace.

 

[LargeOrangeFont]

I would not have a “come to Jesus” directly with her. Have a meeting with her and your boss present to rip the band aid off and figure out an action plan.

 

[JDKRXW]

I guess the other question is; is she really in over her head, or is she being tactfully lazy.
If it's the latter, be careful. These people can be way more prepared for battle than they appear.

 

[RadMan]

You guys are slipping

Is she hot?

 

[rivermobster]

This is the PERFECT kind of question to ask ChatGPT.

I'm not logged in on my phone though.

Anyone?

 

[coolchange]

Depending on your relationship with your boss. Go to him, doh!, or her and explain the situation. You can’t keep doing this your work is suffering.

Don’t make it a flex. Ask him what do you think you should do?
All sorts of kid gloves here.

 

[Mandelon]

It may be better to help her improve. If she gets canned, you WILL have all the work to do.

Who knows what here replacement might be. Letting your boss know might be a good plan though. Depends on their personality I suppose.

 

[wzuber]

My predecessor got burnt out doing the same coverage I've been doing for a year. They hired me to help "alleviate some of her work load" however in her mind it was too little to late. She called her former boss and got transferred out. I don't blame her I'll try the same thing in another 6 months at this pace.

From this reply it sounds as though they're aware of her lack of performance in her job abilities but don't seem to care?
Maybe as a group or partial group you could approach the boss and discuss the issue so it is not just 1 persons "whining" complaint?
Pose ?? to your boss to try and understand the situation, if they are aware of her inability, why she's allowed to remain in that dept./ position etc..
Sux you have to tollerate this situation but there must be some reason behind it.

 

[farmo83]

I guess the other question is; is she really in over her head, or is she being tactfully lazy.
If it's the latter, be careful. These people can be way more prepared for battle than they appear.

IMO a bit of both.



I don’t think she was trained well and not having backgound compounded her not being setup success. There is nothing I or anyone really can do about this now though, I am sympathetic on this front though.



On the other hand her demeanor is to just say something is wrong and send it to someone else to look at, this makes her appear quite lazy(me included).



Also I don’t really think this is my business. I’m here to work, My boss is paid to manage all of this.

 

[wzuber]

IMO a bit of both.



I don’t think she was trained well and not having backgound compounded her not being setup success. There is nothing I or anyone really can do about this now though, I am sympathetic on this front though.



On the other hand her demeanor is to just say something is wrong and send it to someone else to look at, this makes her appear quite lazy(me included).



Also I don’t really think this is my business. I’m here to work, My boss is paid to manage all of this.

He is managing it....he's managed to get you to handle it so he still looks good...lol
Boses...not always good ones...haha

 

[hallett21]

I would not have a “come to Jesus” directly with her. Have a meeting with her and your boss present to rip the band aid off and figure out an action plan.

This seems like the only corporate option. And you need a folder of evidence ready to go at that meeting.

Anything less might open you up to Issues with HR etc.

 

[DaytonaBabe]

Tell her to get back in the kitchen?


You guys are slipping. No fruitcups for any of you.



In all seriousness, if she doesn't report to you, involve your boss. These issues can spiral quickly and you need to cover your ass. Have a conversation with your boss about your concerns and what some possible solutions could be, and go from there. I'd try to get as many of your interactions with her in written form (email, Slack, etc.) so that you have documentation. You don't need her coming after you for some dumb reason to save her job.

 

[Ultra...Good]

You guys are slipping

Is she hot?

There are reasons.... If follow the money trail doesn't work, where does the tail lead?????????????

 

[calkid]

You guys are slipping

Is she hot?

He did say "my co-worker sucks".

You guys are slipping

Is she hot?

 

[CLdrinker]

Have a "come to Jesus" talk with her and let her know that for the time she's been in this department she should have picked up on how things are done, she's had training and if she doesn't get it yet, there's nothing you can do. You've been patient, you've picked up the slack, that isn't part of your job, others are leaving her out of loop and coming to you because they just don't want to deal with her. You've done your part, but right now it's sink or swim, and if you don't get it by now maybe you should ask for a transfer to another department.
Also document this and any other issues you or others have had with her so if she goes to HR and complains that you're being mean to her, you've got ammunition to back it up.

Good luck.

This is seriously the worst advice.

People forget that in corporate America, you don’t give coming to Jesus talks. That shit will get you fired real quick. Is it what needs to happen? Yes. But good luck keeping your job if she dont take it well.

What you should do is schedule a 1:1 with your manager and lay out some concerns and areas that need improvement. Mention you are attempting to mentor at every opportunity but I am unable to find a way to explain things that she is able to retain the info. Manager maybe you could assist her in a pathway to bring her up to speed.

BTW this sounds exactly like what happens at my company. And I wouldn’t be surprised if we are coworkers lol

 

[CLdrinker]

I would not have a “come to Jesus” directly with her. Have a meeting with her and your boss present to rip the band aid off and figure out an action plan.

Wholly shit if I’m the slacker lady. I’m praying that they try to pull this shit.

Hello early retirement

 

[TimeBandit]

This reminds me of an old girlfriend who had a slacker co-worker who showed up late and left early and she got the brunt of the work in her department.

Fast forward 3 months he gets promoted to manager because "he has more experience".

Fortune 500 companies are just backwards.

 

[LargeOrangeFont]

Wholly shit if I’m the slacker lady. I’m praying that they try to pull this shit.

Hello early retirement

Ummm no

 

[samsah33]

I agree that when transferred into a new department, we would all suck for a while, I call it the honeymoon period and cut people a lot of slack for about 6 months, but 18 months is way beyond a honeymoon period. Know who you're dealing with: make a friend in Legal and ask how she got to your area - was it a "pass the trash" transfer or did she want to come voluntarily, or maybe both? How do others in the company view her?

Option 1 is your best bet. It doesn't need to be a CTJ talk, but it be a discussion around the division of responsibilities in your area, and once you and she decide on that division, then stick with it and let her succeed (hopefully, or fail...). Also alert the other areas about this division so they know who to go to. You say that she thinks you're hogging all the work, so #1 gives you the opportunity to let her be right, so yes, have the other groups go directly to her and they will begin to recognize her shortcomings so it won't be just you. This will also give you cover from the groups and you can let them know with a straight face that these items are her responsibility and out of respect for her, they should be dealing directly with her. Make sure this gets into the process docs and project plans as well.

Option 2 kinda dovetails into option 1, which is basically agree on what each should be doing, and let her run with it, but consistent with #1, let the other departments know so that she's on the hook for the work.

Option 3 is death for you. I see this constantly and always tell people don't be the hero, ask for help. Same to you - if you can't pull off #1, then don't be a hero and go to your boss and ask for his advice and help and don't put it in a complaining context; just bring the facts.

 

[Ultra...Good]

Tell her to get back in the kitchen?

Yeah, and then she tells you too go take nap while she makes (prepares) dinner.
Not much for hollywood, but it can happen;

 

[rivermobster]

As background I work in Energy Trading and recently transferred into a new group in July. My counterpart has been here around 18 months and came from the legal department. She’s very nice, however her ability to the get job done is just not there. Legal to Trading is a huge leap, while I’m well versed in my field, If I went to the legal department I’m sure I would suck for a while too. Groups we support frequently leave her out of projects for her area, which means all of that work comes to me. When going through things she’ll ask questions that do not reflect well on her at all, it would be similar to a mechanic asking the difference between gas and oil, or an electrician asking the difference between hot and ground. Anything not spelled out in a process document she’ll ask me to figure out etc. I am all for helping out co workers and have done so a lot in my career. Even with her I’ve scheduled learning sessions, loaned her reference text, and pulled some strings to get her into a class that I think would really help her, however I don’t have the time to keep doing this and it’s really getting old. I’ve tried to include her on all communications that the groups we support cut her out of, the result of this has been she thinks I am hogging all the work and attention. In my mind this leaves 3 bad choices.

1. I can tell the groups we support they have to go to her, I can’t help them
2. I can give her the work she should be doing and tell her you just have to figure this out with out me.
3. I can just do the work myself and completely cut her out.

I’ve had my fill of all of this and want to address this with my boss, I don’t want to come off like a whining 2 year old though.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

From ChatGPT. I copy and pasted your thread title as the question. Here ya go!


Providing feedback about a colleague can be a delicate matter, and it's important to approach it in a constructive and professional way. Instead of directly saying that your co-worker "sucks," focus on specific behaviors or situations that are affecting the team or work environment negatively. Here are some tips on how to communicate your concerns effectively:

1. **Choose the right time and place:**
Find an appropriate time to discuss your concerns with your boss, preferably in a private setting. Avoid bringing it up in the heat of the moment or in a public space.

2. **Be specific and objective:**
Instead of making general statements, provide concrete examples of specific behaviors or actions that are causing issues. Stick to the facts and avoid making personal attacks.

3. **Use a neutral tone:**
Frame your feedback in a calm and neutral tone. Avoid using emotionally charged language, and focus on the impact of the behavior on the team or project.

4. **Express concern for the team or project:**
Emphasize that your goal is to maintain a positive and productive work environment. Highlight how the issues you're raising may be impacting the team's overall performance or morale.

5. **Offer potential solutions:**
Don't just point out problems; also suggest possible solutions or ways to address the issues. This shows that you are invested in finding constructive resolutions rather than just complaining.

6. **Focus on the work, not the person:**
Instead of criticizing your co-worker as a person, concentrate on the specific actions or behaviors that need improvement. This helps to keep the feedback constructive and less personal.

7. **Use "I" statements:**
Frame your feedback in terms of your own experience or perspective. This can help to avoid sounding accusatory and makes it clear that you're expressing your own observations.

For example, instead of saying, "John is always late, and it's annoying," you could say, "I've noticed that there have been instances where project timelines were impacted due to delays, and it's something I believe we could address to improve overall efficiency."

Remember, the goal is to provide feedback that helps improve the work environment and team dynamics rather than create tension or conflict.

 

[rightytighty]

A boss that doesn’t know is a bad boss… There are always plenty of signs, if they are watching.

And the fact that the exact same thing happened to the person before you- and he’s still not aware…..

Well, sorry.

I’m with Daytona. Document, document, document.

 

[BHC Vic]

I’m more of a deal with it head on guy. Last co worker I had a problem with, I let him know face to face. Ended it with a fuck off and don’t ask me for shit. Cost me 80 hours of anger management classes and was worth every hour

 

[evantwheeler]

Have a new job ready before you execute your attempt to remedy this issue at current job. I left corporate America 4 years ago because I was tired of the HR department sitting at the top of the Org Chart at a publicly traded construction company. They'll tell you they care about performance, but they really don't. I believe the only solution to this problem without significant torture that would probably force you to leave is to take your boss's job and then get rid of her for cause. Your boss sounds complacent and out of touch, he should know the situation. If he is aware, he doesn't care.....

 

[outboard_256]

From ChatGPT. I copy and pasted your thread title as the question. Here ya go!


Providing feedback about a colleague can be a delicate matter, and it's important to approach it in a constructive and professional way. Instead of directly saying that your co-worker "sucks," focus on specific behaviors or situations that are affecting the team or work environment negatively. Here are some tips on how to communicate your concerns effectively:

1. **Choose the right time and place:**
Find an appropriate time to discuss your concerns with your boss, preferably in a private setting. Avoid bringing it up in the heat of the moment or in a public space.

2. **Be specific and objective:**
Instead of making general statements, provide concrete examples of specific behaviors or actions that are causing issues. Stick to the facts and avoid making personal attacks.

3. **Use a neutral tone:**
Frame your feedback in a calm and neutral tone. Avoid using emotionally charged language, and focus on the impact of the behavior on the team or project.

4. **Express concern for the team or project:**
Emphasize that your goal is to maintain a positive and productive work environment. Highlight how the issues you're raising may be impacting the team's overall performance or morale.

5. **Offer potential solutions:**
Don't just point out problems; also suggest possible solutions or ways to address the issues. This shows that you are invested in finding constructive resolutions rather than just complaining.

6. **Focus on the work, not the person:**
Instead of criticizing your co-worker as a person, concentrate on the specific actions or behaviors that need improvement. This helps to keep the feedback constructive and less personal.

7. **Use "I" statements:**
Frame your feedback in terms of your own experience or perspective. This can help to avoid sounding accusatory and makes it clear that you're expressing your own observations.

For example, instead of saying, "John is always late, and it's annoying," you could say, "I've noticed that there have been instances where project timelines were impacted due to delays, and it's something I believe we could address to improve overall efficiency."

Remember, the goal is to provide feedback that helps improve the work environment and team dynamics rather than create tension or conflict.

Sounds like the HR video's they make us watch. Sounds like good advice though, not too bad for AI.

 

[hallett21]

Wholly shit if I’m the slacker lady. I’m praying that they try to pull this shit.

Hello early retirement

How would sitting down with a coworker and manager to discuss documented short comings turn into a lawsuit?

 

[BHC Vic]

I’m more of a deal with it head on guy. Last co worker I had a problem with, I let him know face to face. Ended it with a fuck off and don’t ask me for shit. Cost me 80 hours of anger management classes and was worth every hour

Andrew Broadbent on Instagram: "My dad I didn’t know that was frowned upon #coworkers #trumpmemes #comedy #viralvideos #fyp #explorepage #funny #bluejeanbaby"

192K likes, 1,007 comments - andrewbskates on September 15, 2023: "My dad I didn’t know that was frowned upon #coworkers #trumpmemes #comedy #viralvideos #fyp #explorepage #funny #bluejeanbaby".

www.instagram.com

 

[530RL]

The original question is how do you talk to your boss about this without sounding like you are whining.

My suggestion is to have a conversation with your boss asking he/she to make clear each individuals as well as the teams goals and objectives and how the boss is measuring how each is meeting those goals and objectives.

Understand clearly what is the work requirement of each individual, how it fits into the overall objectives, and how results will be measured both from a group as well as individual perspective.

Not a conversation about how either is performing, but a conversation about the respective team members roles and overall expectations by management.

The purpose of this is two fold.

1) It clears up any misunderstanding either a team member or the manager has with respect to task and results expectations. For example, you may think she sucks, but what she sucks at is not something the supervisor expects her to do but you to do.

2) It makes the supervisor more aware of what the expectations are of each and focuses them on things they might not have been noticing.

 

[CLdrinker]

Ummm no

NDA prevents me from dropping an example with payment to prove my point.
Damn near exact scenario

So there’s that.

 

[RVR SWPR]

Check out if she related to anyone in your company before talking to those above you.
Any kind of “related”if you get the drift.

 

[CLdrinker]

How would sitting down with a coworker and manager to discuss documented short comings turn into a lawsuit?

Why would a peer be involved in the discussion?

2 (assuming) men telling a women she isn’t cutting it and of those is a peer? lol game set match harassment lawyers counting Money already.

 

[2Driver]

Figure out something fast before she hits it off with a customer and they give her unwarranted public praise.

 

[rivermobster]

Sounds like the HR video's they make us watch. Sounds like good advice though, not too bad for AI.

And where do you thing HR got it from???

 

[Vamodsquad]

Start looking around for a different job. If you find something that interests you, go to your present boss and tell him or her, that you are unhappy there, and are thinking about leaving the company. If they like you and your work, they'll ask you what the problem is. There's your chance to tell them what's going on.
But no matter what you do, somebody's going to get their feelings hurt. Either the boss is going to get mad, or the girl is going to get mad, or if they take each others side, then that will make you mad...Best of luck. Choose wisely !

 

[Icky]

Andrew Broadbent on Instagram: "My dad I didn’t know that was frowned upon #coworkers #trumpmemes #comedy #viralvideos #fyp #explorepage #funny #bluejeanbaby"

192K likes, 1,007 comments - andrewbskates on September 15, 2023: "My dad I didn’t know that was frowned upon #coworkers #trumpmemes #comedy #viralvideos #fyp #explorepage #funny #bluejeanbaby".

www.instagram.com

Construction is so much easier..... here's your check reduction in force

 

[traquer]

The original question is how do you talk to your boss about this without sounding like you are whining.

My suggestion is to have a conversation with your boss asking he/she to make clear each individuals as well as the teams goals and objectives and how the boss is measuring how each is meeting those goals and objectives.

Understand clearly what is the work requirement of each individual, how it fits into the overall objectives, and how results will be measured both from a group as well as individual perspective.

Not a conversation about how either is performing, but a conversation about the respective team members roles and overall expectations by management.

The purpose of this is two fold.

1) It clears up any misunderstanding either a team member or the manager has with respect to task and results expectations. For example, you may think she sucks, but what she sucks at is not something the supervisor expects her to do but you to do.

2) It makes the supervisor more aware of what the expectations are of each and focuses them on things they might not have been noticing.

This. some version of this for sure.

 

[500bbc]

He did say "my co-worker sucks".

Is she banging the boss?

 

[stokerwhore]

There are reasons.... If follow the money trail doesn't work, where does the tail lead?????????????

to someone somewhere that is sick of her shit, too

 

[poncho]

I was in a similar spot when I was an office chair jockey...Don't miss a whole lot of that life.
I could tell my boss what was going on until I was blue in the face, I tend to not complain and just pick up the slack until a breaking point.
I set the alarm codes for the building and assigned everyone a code. One day I printed a months worth of code use and highlighted mine in one color and the other persons in another color, we were all salary with no timekeeping.
Threw them on his desk and said please take a minute and call me if you have any questions.
One of his comments was "how are you still married"
Nothing happened that day but it got the ball rolling.

 

[liquid addiction]

Tell your boss to join RDP and read the thread.

 

[JUSTWANNARACE]

Tell her to get back in the kitchen?


You guys are slipping. No fruitcups for any of you.



In all seriousness, if she doesn't report to you, involve your boss. These issues can spiral quickly and you need to cover your ass. Have a conversation with your boss about your concerns and what some possible solutions could be, and go from there. I'd try to get as many of your interactions with her in written form (email, Slack, etc.) so that you have documentation. You don't need her coming after you for some dumb reason to save her job.

She's probably bangin the boss.. that's why he dont care

 

[spectras only]

In my field in the tech industry, our team managers had it easy. Every year we had peer reviews on each other that was fair. We submit the reviews and the team manager had to do the reviews with team members, one on one. Luckily, we're pretty much very close to perform equally. If any one of us didn't perform well, it was easily detected by failure of the last tests to pass the product. I was an integrator of optical, electro/mechanical system with very high precision tolerances involing class IV laser, building the black box' for the CTP printing machines at CREO, Kodak.. Kodak's high up managers back in Rochester, right up to the revolving CEO's, were just sitting on their azz's, pulling nice salaries , even under the 5 yr banckruptsy protection we had in the 2008 period. The last CEO was reluctant to give up the two executive jets while we got 0,003% salary increases at year end. You can read about Kodak's decline over the decades, having over 10,000 patents. Starting, expiring rapidly. let tech companies like Sony, Samsung, Apple etc....using Kodak's inventions in the past. Final words, lot of managers are in positions they shouldn't be in if they don't see a problem coming. And yeah, at Creo we had two HR personel for the company that built a 4500 workforce in British Columbia, to 15 HR people for a few hundreds in Kodak building . When last visited some people still there in Burnaby, it was a ghost town.
I wonder how the neighbour tech company EA doing now a days, don't hear much of anything on the news!

 

[traquer]

Legendary and I think a relevant scene for you:

 

[rivermobster]

As shop foreman of one of the many dealerships I worked at, one day that GM brings a currently (minimum wage) employed girl to my office and says...

This is X. She will be one of your new service writers. Let's get her trained ASAP!

I'll give you three guesses how this came about, and the first two don't count!

Hint: Swallowing may have been involved, I heard.

 

[RiverDave]

Tell your boss to join RDP and read the thread.

Possible accidental text or email with the link.. lol. Oh sorry that was for someone else!