So I swear to much....Basically an ultimatum

[JD D05]

Wait,,, you're bitchin at the guy spending his quarters to wash his trailered RZR in a blizzard and wet roads, yet you're waiting to wash your truck? In the same fuckin blizzard?

No I had just got done snowmobiling and had to drive through a muddy puddle to get back to my trailer. When I loaded the sleds the ramps and sleds got a little muddy so I wanted to spray off the inside of the trailer and the sleds. The trailer is enclosed and we change in there etc prior to rides, so the mud would have been annoying. Plus I am way OCD about stuff being clean.

 

[Taboma]

We all do it, but there's times when I don't believe it's appropriate.
I think knowing the difference and having not only the ability, but the respect to better meter our language for the occasion speaks well for a person and exhibits a higher degree of not only self control, but even intelligence.
My background of electrical contracting meant I was working on job sites where swearing was common and certainly wouldn't raise an eyebrow. Yet not all, we also performed a lot of work in occupied buildings, offices, churches, schools, hospitals etc., where conducting yourself in a professional manner was required, assuming you didn't want to get run off or never hired again.
I knew this as did my crews. We respected the environment and conducted ourselves accordingly, be it working with the tools or attending customer meetings.
My father who could cuss with the best of them, extremely creatively I might add, taught me that and I did likewise with my children.

I do not swear around my grandchildren, even if they might. Doesn't mean one won't slip out on occasion, in fact it usually garners a chuckle out of them.
I like that, it means they're listening and noticing that I'm trying to set a good example. It also means should the occasion ever present itself where I need to "Lightem up",
I know which words will really get their immediate attention.

 

[JD D05]

We all do it, but there's times when I don't believe it's appropriate.
I think knowing the difference and having not only the ability, but the respect to better meter our language for the occasion speaks well for a person and exhibits a higher degree of not only self control, but even intelligence.
My background of electrical contracting meant I was working on job sites where swearing was common and certainly wouldn't raise an eyebrow. Yet not all, we also performed a lot of work in occupied buildings, offices, churches, schools, hospitals etc., where conducting yourself in a professional manner was required, assuming you didn't want to get run off or never hired again.
I knew this as did my crews. We respected the environment and conducted ourselves accordingly, be it working with the tools or attending customer meetings.
My father who could cuss with the best of them, extremely creatively I might add, taught me that and I did likewise with my children.

I do not swear around my grandchildren, even if they might. Doesn't mean one won't slip out on occasion, in fact it usually garners a chuckle out of them.
I like that, it means they're listening and noticing that I'm trying to set a good example. It also means should the occasion ever present itself where I need to "Lightem up",
I know which words will really get their immediate attention.

I agree. I know when it is not ok to swear, it has just never been with my own family at night drinking wine around the fire.

 

[JD D05]

JD

I spent the better part of 26 years around cops, and 4 years of that focused entirely on tweakers and the people who make and move the shit. "Coming home" took about 3 days, if ya get my drift. I tried like heck to keep the F bombs outta my lingo when the boys were young, they slipped out when working on cars and such.
Wife reminded me. She was right to do so.
The truth is this. If your SIL wants you to tone your language down, in anticipation of kids or just around her, then at HER home I would, were I in your shoes make an effort to do so out of respect for your brother and the family you love. I mean make an effort. She didn't marry you. It ain't her job to change you.
The fact is kids in grade school today have as stout a vocabulary as you and I do, and if she thinks she is going to shield kids from the big bad world she is dreaming. I would sorta find a way to mention that there is no guarantee nor even a reasonable expectation that she or anyone else is going to be able to go through life without being offended, that contrary to popular SJW standards there is no constitutional statute that guarantees the right to not be offended.
I would make it known that the effort you plan to put forth on this is due to your respect for the family, and not a response to the perceived threat to isolate you from your future role as uncle JD. Make it known threats offend you as much as language does "other people".
Now, with the grandkids, I really try to keep it clean. Not for any offended adult, but simply because I don't want them (especially the two girls, whom I dote on and spoil as much as possible) to remember "Poppa" as a guy who couldn't get a conversation in without cussing.
AS it did with my sons, when the teen years come along and you need to kick some theoretical ass, then rarely used colorful language it worked better when they hadn't heard a lot of it. It may come to that with the grandsons too...it seems to with all boys.

Tread with caution fellow language impresario, I sorta see bumps down the road apiece fer ya.

I really appreciate the response you put some thought into and so have other members. RDP is a great place.

I have honestly been lucky with my girls, I have had talks with them many times that it is not ok for them to talk like I do and they have followed their mothers example. Very hypocritical but ya, I also will not be upset if they do swear and I expect that to happen.

With my little boy though I know I have got to stop around him or it will be non stop.

 

[rivermobster]

Ya

I suggest you kick your brother's ass, and beat some sense into him!

He has a rough life ahead of him with a woman like that. Best to nip that shit in the bud!!!

Kinna kidding..


kinna not..



Best of luck!

 

[JD D05]

I suggest you kick your brother's ass, and beat some sense into him!

He has a rough life ahead of him with a woman like that. Best to nip that shit in the bud!!!

Kinna kidding..


kinna not..



Best of luck!

I totally agree with you. I am just trying to get me bearing's on all this. I have had less than 24 hours face to face with his fiance, and he just moved back from Tennessee. When he moved away I was crushed big time, he is my best friend and always has been.

 

[Taboma]

I agree. I know when it is not ok to swear, it has just never been with my own family at night drinking wine around the fire.

Like you, the problem I would have had was essentially the ultimatum, especially coming from your brother's fiance who has just ventured into your world, not the other way around.
Good Luck to you sir But I'm tending to think your brother might need an extra helping down the road

 

[spectra3279]

So they are staying at your house and telling you what to do?

Get the fuck out.

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[wallnutz]

When there is a swear jar around I go broke.

 

[JD D05]

So they are staying at your house and telling you what to do?

Get the fuck out.

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No, we are all staying with my parents right now. Me and my family are building a home and moved in to save money etc.

 

[spectra3279]

No, we are all staying with my parents right now. Me and my family are building a home and moved in to save money etc.

Fuck her, what's your mom and dad say. Their house not the liberal needing a safe spaces.

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[Bullet28]

JD the thing that stood out to me was the comment you made about your future I assume SIL in regards to what your family means to you and she basically has no idea prove to her differently I don’t think this is that big of a sacrifice to me if this is your house then stick to your rules if it really means that much to you we are really only talking about cussing here I quit at 40 for the most part and I’m 62 now just got tired of hearing myself talk like that, my DIL toLd me my grandsons 10 and 8 got in trouble for cussing and both my son and DIL cuss if front of them and I said why and she said there to young so I said I didn’t know there were cussing ages that would apply.

 

[JD D05]

Fuck her, what's your mom and dad say. Their house not the liberal needing a safe spaces.

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Both hook line and sinker but they are just trying to make it work for everyone. She isn't a liberal lol.

 

[t&y]

Interesting issue. Swearing used in the right context is very effective. But when used as a general go to I'd say it leans more towards the person coming across uneducated, regardless of who or what they really are.

That being said, I've been known to drop the F Bomb in the not so perfect of situations too. I do make an honest effort to watch my language around any kids, regardless of who owns them. Adults, well if they don't like the way I talk, Fuck'em.

 

[RandyH]

One of my favorite educational videos.

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[nowski]

I'm willing to bet that your SIL is LDS, did I win did I win???

 

[JD D05]

I'm willing to bet that your SIL is LDS, did I win did I win???

No, Catholic i think

 

[Yellowboat]

I have been in construction basicly all my life. What worked for me was to slow down. Taking just 1 second before speaking really helped.

 

[jetur]

We all do it to some extent. I was yelling into a Bluetooth driving down the road at one of my foreman about his operator, "tell that premadonna mother fu#@er dig it our way or pack his sh@#". Hung up the phone and realized my 5 and 7 year olds we're riding in the back seat. Woops. That was tough explaining to mama. We should all quite together. Lol

 

[rivermobster]

I totally agree with you. I am just trying to get me bearing's on all this. I have had less than 24 hours face to face with his fiance, and he just moved back from Tennessee. When he moved away I was crushed big time, he is my best friend and always has been.

Then he should know ultimatums are not gonna sit well with you...

Talk to him And his chick face to face about it. Stay cool and listen and see what they have to say, then make your decision After you think about it.

Your bro has to know this is coming...

 

[Outdrive1]

I don't think I ever cussed in front of my mom or grand parents. That was just something you never did. My kids are the same with me. Not that I would say or do anything, they are adults now, but cussing in a conversation is different than cussing at me which I won't tolerate. I wouldn't cuss at them either. I don't believe you cuss at the people you love or call them names. Just my opinion. My wife and I don't say things like "fuck you" or call each other names. We agreed to not say those types of things to each other.

All this being said, I cuss, I have no problem with it in the right circumstances. I don't know what to tell you about your sister in law, especially since she doesn't have kids. I guess if it bothers her, and you care about her feelings, than do you best not to cuss in front of her. Maybe just tell her that you'll do your best, but not to take offense if you do it by accident.

Or just tell her to worry about her own husband and that you'll do whatever the fuck you want. lol.

 

[JD D05]

Then he should know ultimatums are not gonna sit well with you...

Talk to him And his chick face to face about it. Stay cool and listen and see what they have to say, then make your decision After you think about it.

Your bro has to know this is coming...

I think that is an excellent idea.

 

[lebel409]

And I'd say ( to her ), first I'm sorry you're offended at my habit. I'l try and keep your sensitivity in mind, but don't count on 100% compliance. Second, I don't like having a conversation with my brother...when you're the one offended. Leave him out of it and stand up for yourself.

Cursing is an art...my wife has a Fuckity fuck fuck fuck dish towel in the kitchen right now...

 

[Gelcoater]

No, Catholic i think

 

[steak&lobster]

Is swearing "you at your core"? Sweat the big things in life bro, this isn't it in my opinion

 

[rivermobster]

Is swearing "you at your core"? Sweat the big things in life bro, this isn't it in my opinion

But being handed an ultimatum is...regardless of what it's about.

 

[Andy B.]

Fuck it! If the snowflake can't handle a f-bomb once in awhile tell her to move to a safe place LMAO!! All you can do is try and apologize when you slip after all it's your parents house not hers.............

 

[buck35]

I used to have a work partner that seemingly coundnt form a sentence without several f bombs. I cuss as much as the next guy but it got really old,and found myself dropping bombs in front of the wife which land like a lead balloon.
It's really not that hard to tone it down a bit .

 

[Jed-O]

Ya there are some things I can tease my bro about but this isn't one of them.

No kids yet, but that was mentioned when they do. He actually has not spoken directly to me about this, he talked to my dad and my dad talked to me. I am sure he will though, he isn't a not talk direct to the problem type.

So his wife does have his balls in her purse!

 

[JD D05]

I used to have a work partner that seemingly coundnt form a sentence without several f bombs. I cuss as much as the next guy but it got really old,and found myself dropping bombs in front of the wife which land like a lead balloon.
It's really not that hard to tone it down a bit .

I dont do that. Very often lol.

 

[rivermobster]

After some thoughtful thoughts....

I think you should buy her this for xMas. Seems fitting.

 

[lebel409]

Tell her when the crotchfruit arrive you'll reevaluate...

 

[pronstar]

The power of foul language, illustrated in nature.

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[pwerwagn]

Damn I swear at my kids to. I call them shit apples.

That’s a nickname. You’re not swearing at them. ;-) Using it as a term of endearment is different. Haha. I call mine “shit bricks”.

 

[DaveC]

I feel sorry for your brother.

Especially after you decide you ain't gonna let someone who lives a thousand miles away tell you what to do.

 

[02HoWaRd26]

In my defense this guy was using the wash for 19 min.

That dude is almost as big of a “fucking idiot” as the guy filming. The guy filming is the bigger idiot as he obviously grasps the blizzard conditions and is waiting to use same car wash.... fucking idiot!!!

 

[jetboatperformance]

Oh for Fucks sake !

 

[JD D05]

That dude is almost as big of a “fucking idiot” as the guy filming. The guy filming is the bigger idiot as he obviously grasps the blizzard conditions and is waiting to use same car wash.... fucking idiot!!!

Post 51

 

[RVRKID]

Not sure if this will work but apparently I need to watch my swearing as well, this is my 7 year old.[emoji23][emoji23]
Listen to my Vox https://www.voxer.com/v/130629ce3f


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[monkeyswrench]

First off, words don't kill people, people kill people....

I had two methods of speach. Job walk with perspective clients, being as articulate and personable as I could. Then there was the jobsite...loud, brash and to the point. Jeckyl and Hyde thing, the enviornment determines the method. As far as inlaws go, I've never gone out of my way to BS them...the only one in that family that liked me for me, I married. I'm much more "civilized" in any home, than shop or jobsite. But that's me. I hope to God my kids don't end up like me...but I think that is what show's God's sense of humor!

 

[ElAzul]

You have probably never heard a parent say this but I really don't worry about my kids hearing it. I don't know why I just don't.

This is me as well and seems to really really really drive home how awesome or shitty they have been. Curse words are part of good parenting .

 

[bonesfab]

I have a lady at the dog park I go to that has put me on a swear jar. It is only a quarter per word. I offered her a 100.00 just to be done with it. I admit I am the worst when it comes to dropping a f-bomb. Yes she is pretty good looking. Yes I have cut back on swearing. If she ever goes anywhere with me on the freeway, I might have to refinance the house to square up with her.. And honestly todays kids have heard it all any way..

 

[CigAjerk]

I was on a flight years ago, kid behind me was kicking my seat from SNA to PHX....didn't stop. When we stood up at the end of the flight I told the mom "you need to make your kid accept the world, don't make the world accept your kid".

My own saying stuck with me and I beat it into my nieces and nephews....even my own daughter.

I hate it when someone comes around the house to BS with me then apologizes immediately after for cussing in front of my kid. When the cursers apologize I usually just say "it's ok, she's half sicilian, half irish".

Shitty parents raising shitty kids are a different story.

 

[HydroSkreamin]

This is a tough one and worth talking about.

I’m of the belief behind closed doors or certain working conditions, let ‘er fly, but in public with women and children, notsomuch.

There’s no shortage of ability in our house, but my wife and I pretty much didn’t swear in front of the kids, but if we did, it was to show the level of anger we were at with them, and all three daughters got the point when we did. It definitely made them squirm. Now they’re all teenagers or older, and they sometimes swear, but not very often.

I feel it’s inappropriate when I’m wearing company logo’d clothing, while out dining, or the kid’s events, or in other people’s homes. If I hear others swearing repeatedly in public where others are hearing it, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck, and if it continues, I’ll say something.

I hope you can find some common ground on this for the sake of your relationship with your brother.

 

[grumpy88]

If I was your parents both family's would go ! Your parents don't need to pick sides . If all of you can't get along it's time for all of you to go .

 

[JB in so cal]

It's winter, huh?



Really? Swearing around kids?

Do what you obviously are going to do. I was raised to speak in a cordial manner around most people. Get me away with some friends and a few pops and I'll let it fly.

Btw, I also open doors for other people, say please and thank you and don't put my elbows on the table when I eat so I'm not such a good source of info.

Good luck in your search for clarity.

 

[jetboatperformance]

Enough said .....

 

[Melloyellovector]

I was gonna say is she an LDS going to Utah to find a sister wife. ( I’m down w sister wife but Michelle won’t agree )
I cuss wayyyy to much. Actually when I called you on the last trip, I thought fuckin A did I cuss to much. Good to know I didn’t offend you. Lmao

My sons cuss 19 and 26 but not at me.
My daughters do not cuss in front of dad 17 and 22 , not sure why but that’s ok.

First I’d punch one of my brothers and call him a pussy for even telling me.
Second I would probably at least attempt to refrain around the Kunty SIL.
It sucks for adult couples to move in with parents. Sucks for parents, sucks for adult couples, etc
Everyone can say it’s fine. Even if everyone gets along great.
How ever to many personalities all trying to get along. Trying to be quite having the sexy time, not cussing, not watching what you want to watch, shower bathroom times, who’s eating what, farting burping etc.

Only 2 days in from Tennessee, to Utah weather, lmao.

She’ll be cussing soon enough about how fucking cold it is, and how she can’t get a break from you assholes.

 

[rrrr]

I think the reaction you have had to a simple request that went through your dad is unreasonable. It's actually childish.

Your attitude is so shitty your brother didn't want to talk to you about it, and went through your dad. Instead of considering the wishes of your brother, his wife, and your dad, you're bowing your back...to prove what? That you're an alpha male?

Your dad is obviously repulsed by your immature behavior. And you talk like that around your mom? You're in your parent's house, and disrespect them to their face?

How tall are you? You are acting like someone with short guy syndrome. What are you trying to prove by bullying your family members? You claim family is important to you, but you can't be bothered to moderate your language.

 

[rrrr]

But being handed an ultimatum is...regardless of what it's about.

Where's the ultimatum? He was asked to tone down his language by his dad. There's no mention of "or else I'm going to throw you out of the house". That's an ultimatum. Being asked to be considerate is a request.