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Meeting your daughters first boyfriend

whiteworks

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My daughter is a freshman and has her first boyfriend, they’re both dorks for the most part and pretty awkward with each other. They dont kiss or hold hands, but they did manage a side hug for his birthday. He walks her to lunch and then she hangs with her friends and he hangs with his. He’s been into her for a few years, always getting her little gifts and remembering her birthday. He plays the cello and bakes her things once in a while, half a fag if you ask me but that’s cool considering what’s going on. It’s an odd little relationship, but kinda nice that they’re awkward dorks.

His folks are super strict, he didn’t tell them they were dating until recently, my daughter came home and told us immediately that they were an item. A few months back she asked if they could go hang out downtown after school one day, I told her no as his folks were unaware of there status as a “couple” and it’s not cool to be sneaking around, as well I had never met the kid.

So fast forward to now, he told his folks they are seeing each other and that I wouldn’t let her go downtown to hang out because we hadn’t met and his folks didn’t know they were seeing each other, the kids dad told him he should come meet me as that’s the standup thing to do.

My daughter is asking me how I want to meet this kid? I told her I’d sleep on it and come up with something. I was prepared for some little hardon with letterman jacket showing up, but a half a fag cello player I'm gonna have to be a bit more delicate with LOL

So what’s the move here?
 

DanG

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Keep it traditional and have him over for dinner. This gives you time to ask questions and really get to know him and see how they interact with each other. Plus if he says or does something stupid, you can always toss him out the front door.

We have two boys and I don't envy you having to deal with it from the other side of things. Sounds like you guys have done a great job of building a good foundation and relationship with your daughter. As mentioned, keeping that is the most important, but remember that you need to be a parent first and a friend second so it's good to set boundaries with both of them. If the kid has been raised right, he will respect them as long as she does.
 

Cdog

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My 16 year old doesn't have a boy friend yet. She blames it on me and says they're all afraid of me. LOL!

When she was a freshman she had a group over and one of the little fucks piped up. I put him in his place. I guess that's all it took with these soft fucks. That and beating all of them in arm wrestling 😂
 

4Waters

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Just before Christmas my daughter had a Percy Jackson watch party and had several friends over, I for the most part stayed in the garage. There were 3 young men that came to the party and I let them in, the first 2 are brothers and when I answered the door they said "we're here for the party". The 3rd guy showed up and I answered the door. He looked me straight in the eyes extended his hand said his name and gave me a very firm handshake.

They weren't dating then but he has since taken her to winter formal and to dinner and a movie. He went with us to Universal Studios last Friday as well. The two of them met at youth group as they go to rival high schools.

Dad is a solid guy that is retired LEO and his mom (we haven't met yet) is a couple years from retirement as an LEO. He and his parents are very red and he is unvaxxed.

My daughter's first boyfriend wasn't the best but he was just as lost as she was. She said yes to him because it seemed the right thing to do as all her friends had BF's, it lasted 3 weeks.
 

Sportin' Wood

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It's fun to fantasize about giving your kids a hard time, but I'll share my experience since you asked. However you approach this first impression will likely set the stage for how every future interaction is handled when it comes to your kid's relationships.

Oddly, our daughter took this much better than our son. She had a deadbeat boyfriend in High school; we did not like him, and she knew it. He never came around. We knew it would be over when she went to college, so I did not sweat it. Everything worked out in the end, and she married a terrific "half fag" who became a PA in the medical field and is a fantastic father to our granddaughter. I really could not ask for a better SIL, except maybe for one that likes cars, which he does not. He shovels snow in my driveway weekly, and I enjoy watching him on the security camera.

On the other hand, my son never brings home his girlfriends, talks about them, or gives us any indication of his relationship status. He has brought home girls only two times. I blame this 100% on my wife; she has high standards. No sluts, no princesses. If they can't pee outside, don't bring them home. I guess he listened to his Momma because they don't come around. He likes crazy, so I'm sure they are sluts and princesses as well. The ones I have known about are all super crazy. To the best of my knowledge, he never keeps girls around very long. My guess is that he has yet to find a girl that meets the high standards his mother set. That might be good or bad. He certainly seems to be looking on the crazy train; maybe he needs to go hiking. LOL
 

shintoooo

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When he rings the doorbell…


whiteworks:


1708523598679.jpeg
 

C-2

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Freshmen is the operative word there, I wouldn't waste my time on it as there's a good chance theee will be more to follow over the years.

My daughter did that while she was a senior, met the boyfriend, and then his parents. I was like, why? And then 6 months later, poof, all done.

You're setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary drama and grief lol

He knows about you, that should be enough.
 

monkeyswrench

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I second the dinner idea. It gives you time to talk, as well as see how he does under pressure. Manors and mannerisms in speaking with adults an such. You also then have the ability to control your "throttle". If you go in, wife beater and Hoppe's, you may give him a heart attack.
 

BoatCop

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I don't know why, but every time I met one of my daughter's boyfriends for the first time, all my guns needed cleaning.

Gotta just be a coincidence.
 

JL95

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I started dating my wife in 8th grade, our 15 year anniversary (9 married) is coming up next month. Her dad was a walking hardon all throughout middle school and well into highschool. Did not go to our wedding either. Eventually he came around and turned into some semblance of a normal human. Still odd as hell but I guess people are who they are. Long story short all of that was unnecessary in the end. Be nice and expect them to last for 3 weeks and one of them will move on.
 

BingerFang

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This thread brings back memories from highschool, first meeting my now father in-law. There was nothing more stressful than meeting the parents when you’re just a teenager trying to grab some titty.

My FIL has 3 daughters and I remember telling him if he ever needed help moving a couch or hanging the Christmas lights to let me know, he responded “I’m good” 🤣

She had a strict curfew, I always brought her home on time, making sure she got in the door before I drove off.

At 16 I wasn’t no cello player, I raced dirtbikes but I always made sure her and her family knew I had nothing but the utmost respect for them and their daughter.

We dated for 14 years and got married last year.
 

OCMerrill

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I’d be sitting in the garage wearing just my boxer shorts cleaning my guns that I recently recovered from that boating mishap when he arrives 😂
Nice try but those were never recovered.
Having a big Aussie that growls at boyfriends is not a bad Ideal.

Come on Dylan...you can train these dogs to do pretty much everything. Arm around your daughter, growl, quick kiss long growwwwllll, tongue kiss...bite the punk.
Its just a thought. ;)
 

Cdog

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This thread brings back memories from highschool, first meeting my now father in-law. There was nothing more stressful than meeting the parents when you’re just a teenager trying to grab some titty.

My FIL has 3 daughters and I remember telling him if he ever needed help moving a couch or hanging the Christmas lights to let me know, he responded “I’m good” 🤣

She had a strict curfew, I always brought her home on time, making sure she got in the door before I drove off.

At 16 I wasn’t no cello player, I raced dirtbikes but I always made sure her and her family knew I had nothing but the utmost respect for them and their daughter.

We dated for 14 years and got married last year.
Where’s the 16 yr old you now days? Buncha muppet hair queers out there now
 

OCMerrill

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I started dating my wife in 8th grade, our 15 year anniversary (9 married) is coming up next month. Her dad was a walking hardon all throughout middle school and well into highschool. Did not go to our wedding either. Eventually he came around and turned into some semblance of a normal human. Still odd as hell but I guess people are who they are. Long story short all of that was unnecessary in the end. Be nice and expect them to last for 3 weeks and one of them will move on.
That had to have been hard on your wife and maybe you as well. I was loved by my 1st wife's Dad and Disliked by this one and after 26 years of marriage, in his 80's....yep still. He loves his grand kids so I tolerate his bullshit.
 

Outdrive1

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You’re making way more of this than you need to. Shes only a freshman, she’s a good kid, so is he, they’re a long way from having sex, and when they are, you won’t be able to stop it anyhow. Don’t embarrass her, you don’t need a big formal meet and greet and you don’t need to meet his parents so you can judge their worthiness either.

Lighten up Francis. 😁
 

Singleton

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Meet kid for coffee downtown.
If he stands up and shakes your hand, you’re good to go. No handshake, no date :)
Text daughter after 10 minutes of talking and have her walk in and you walk out, so they can continue to hang out.
 

badgas

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Might be cool kid ? I would rather have a Cello player with strict parents than a video game addict whose parents don't care.

As a father of a married 28 year old daughter I can tell you just stay close with here regardless of who she's with as a teen.

"Strong Fathers Strong daughters" by Meg Meeker is great book for Dad's of young girls.
 

Jay Dub

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My daughter is a freshman and has her first boyfriend, they’re both dorks for the most part and pretty awkward with each other. They dont kiss or hold hands, but they did manage a side hug for his birthday. He walks her to lunch and then she hangs with her friends and he hangs with his. He’s been into her for a few years, always getting her little gifts and remembering her birthday. He plays the cello and bakes her things once in a while, half a fag if you ask me but that’s cool considering what’s going on. It’s an odd little relationship, but kinda nice that they’re awkward dorks.

His folks are super strict, he didn’t tell them they were dating until recently, my daughter came home and told us immediately that they were an item. A few months back she asked if they could go hang out downtown after school one day, I told her no as his folks were unaware of there status as a “couple” and it’s not cool to be sneaking around, as well I had never met the kid.

So fast forward to now, he told his folks they are seeing each other and that I wouldn’t let her go downtown to hang out because we hadn’t met and his folks didn’t know they were seeing each other, the kids dad told him he should come meet me as that’s the standup thing to do.

My daughter is asking me how I want to meet this kid? I told her I’d sleep on it and come up with something. I was prepared for some little hardon with letterman jacket showing up, but a half a fag cello player I'm gonna have to be a bit more delicate with LOL

So what’s the move here?
be chill is what my wife said when we went thru this with our daughters. She told me these guys will come and go, we want our daughters to always be close to us. Invite the boy over, grill burgers. Ask a few questions then let the kids be on their way.
 

JDKRXW

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Sounds like you have a good relationship with your daughter. Only advice is don’t ruin it over her boyfriend. Tread carefully. 😁

100% THIS.

Why put him under any pressure?
And don't forget ... first impressions are a 2 way street. I can pretty much get all I need to know in under 5 minutes.
My suggestion (and what I've done) - have your daughter invite him in when he's picking her up some time.
 

DWC

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I treated them all pretty much the same. Kinda like a stray dog. I was nice but hoped i didn’t really see them again.
PS. No such thing as a harmless boy.
 

coolchange

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100% THIS.

Why put him under any pressure?
And don't forget ... first impressions are a 2 way street. I can pretty much get all I need to know in under 5 minutes.
My suggestion (and what I've done) - have your daughter invite him in when he's picking her up some time.
This. All you need to do is watch him. Is he attentive to her? Is he aware of her surroundings? You’ll be able to size him up in 10 seconds. He should do the same.
Hair fags I’m dyin!😂
 

t&y

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Lol.. been there. Just be yourself and lay down the rules you expect them to follow. I didn't go the route of clean the guns and talking about going back to prison or anything, but it was clear what was expected. I also told them as long as they respect the rules of the house they are welcome to hangout when invited. It's worked so far with the girls and their interests. The one thing the wife and I have made very clear was we will be meeting their "boyfriends" before we agree to them going anywhere with them.
 

Romans9

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If my daughter brought a boy home that I had a problem with I woud have sent him away and figured out what was wrong with my daughter.

My wife and I poured ourselves into our daughter from the time she was born. She was free to express herself and taught to be a lady.

A young man came and asked me if he could date my daughter. I said that was up to her and my only stipulation was that he better not treat her in any way inappropriately and I asked if I needed to define that. He said no. I asked are you sure? He assured me he knew exactly what I meant.

4 years later same young man asks me if he can ask my daughter to marry him. I answered him that is fine. When they both came and talked to me, in front of her I told him I would have no problem killing him if I ever determined it was needed. He chuckled, I frowned, he winced and said he knew enough about me to understand I wasn’t joking. That was three years ago, so far he’s still healthy!
 

Cole Trickle

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My son turned 15 yesterday …. Walking testosterone bag but a great kid and better student.

He says he only pulls 8’s and he likes 10’s so he hasn’t really had a serious girlfriend yet. I think he has kissed a couple girls and broke some hearts quietly.

These kids are meeting on ticktock. Kid has talked to a couple girls he said we’re baddies and when they met up he got catfished by great lighting or camera angles…lol

I think he is weird about bringing girls over as my wife is pretty involved and he is afraid she will like or dislike them.

My talk…

Bust ass at school and in sports and continue to be a good respectful kid and life is gonna be easy. Also you have sex bag it and do everything in your power to avoid kids until 30.

Smart kid I think he gets it.
 

C-Ya

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I am getting ready to take my boat out, so later I will tell a funny story on this thread…….

In a nutshell…….. I caught my 17 year old daughter having sex with her boyfriend, Redhanded!

30 seconds later, I have my arm around the kid saying “just breath Tom” “it’s going to be ok” while he looks like he just got out out of the shower, or he just sprinted 5 miles. He looked EXHAUSTED after being in Pound Town!

Again, I will fill in the funny details when I get back……. It’s hilarious.

The night before…… My wife: “Do you think they are doing it?” Me: “I doubt it” lol

My daughter is 32 now.
 

Riverbound

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My daughter is a freshman and has her first boyfriend, they’re both dorks for the most part and pretty awkward with each other. They dont kiss or hold hands, but they did manage a side hug for his birthday. He walks her to lunch and then she hangs with her friends and he hangs with his. He’s been into her for a few years, always getting her little gifts and remembering her birthday. He plays the cello and bakes her things once in a while, half a fag if you ask me but that’s cool considering what’s going on. It’s an odd little relationship, but kinda nice that they’re awkward dorks.

His folks are super strict, he didn’t tell them they were dating until recently, my daughter came home and told us immediately that they were an item. A few months back she asked if they could go hang out downtown after school one day, I told her no as his folks were unaware of there status as a “couple” and it’s not cool to be sneaking around, as well I had never met the kid.

So fast forward to now, he told his folks they are seeing each other and that I wouldn’t let her go downtown to hang out because we hadn’t met and his folks didn’t know they were seeing each other, the kids dad told him he should come meet me as that’s the standup thing to do.

My daughter is asking me how I want to meet this kid? I told her I’d sleep on it and come up with something. I was prepared for some little hardon with letterman jacket showing up, but a half a fag cello player I'm gonna have to be a bit more delicate with LOL

So what’s the move here?
shooting range. 😉😁
 

bilz

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Any dude, any age is a threat.
My wife and a few mins like to say " oh she has a little boyfriend."
I always say little boyfriends still want big things. Why do you think they are dating the girl.
Glad I had two sons.
 

Cdog

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I met my daughters first boyfriend at one of those K1 speed tracks, I stuffed him into the wall within three turns. Smoked his best lap by a few seconds. He didn't stick around long.
My man!!
 

Bajastu

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I love watching my only son bring home some little chicks. For the most part all of them are quite nice. I'm usually like, why is this nice girl hanging around my son? :p

If one of the girl’s dad brags about how many guns they own he just says that your little collection is nice but we have more at home, plus, my dad has the large heavy equipment to bury the problems. ;)
 
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