Meeting your daughters first boyfriend

[samsah33]

 

[j21black]

I have always found out "Who the f$%k are you" is as solid of an ice breaker as any.

Then ignore them when they try to speak.

My wife hates it and says I'm an asshole, but my daughter says it scares the shit out of the boyz, which is exactly how I want them to feel.

They are going to do what they want to do regardless, so I like making the kid think a little.

 

[brecht]

 

[2Driver]

You’re making way more of this than you need to. Shes only a freshman, she’s a good kid, so is he, they’re a long way from having sex, and when they are, you won’t be able to stop it anyhow. Don’t embarrass her, you don’t need a big formal meet and greet and you don’t need to meet his parents so you can judge their worthiness either.

Lighten up Francis.

This.

Nothing you say to him will change a thing, it’s been the 16 years you’ve spent with your daughter that is in charge now. Drive him away and make him afraid and feel unwelcome and he will take your daughter anywhere but around your family.

I’ve watched 2 separate families grow up have kids and get married. Both operated on opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to this stuff.

One family gets together all the time, vacations together and that includes both sets of parents together. They have a blast, love being around each other and I love being in their presence, they are all happy well respected people, ironically the father was high ranking Naval officer in San Diego.

The other family rarely gets together and only when forced to during a birthday or Christmas. It’s a forced visit and most don’t really care to be there. The parents especially the father, meaning well and a good person, has always made it an uncomfortable environment. The parents don’t understand why the kids and grand kids don’t keep in touch and don’t see themselves as the initial culprit.

Guess which one has more influence over family behaviors and outcomes.

 

[DaveH]

given the times we live in i believe we should bring back arranged marriage.

 

[Cdog]

This

Nothing you say to him will change a thing, it’s been the 16 years you’ve spent with your daughter that is in charge now. Drive him away and make him afraid and feel unwelcome and he will take your daughter anywhere but around your family.

Over the last 35 years I’ve watched 2 separate families grow up have kids and get married. Both operated on opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to this stuff.

One family gets together all the time, vacations together and that includes both sets of parents together. They have a blast, love being around each other and I love being in their presence, they are all happy well respected people, ironically the father was high ranking Naval officer in San Diego.

The other family rarely gets together and only when forced to during a birthday or Christmas. It’s a forced visit and most don’t really care to be there. The parents especially the father, meaning well and a good person, has always made it an uncomfortable environment. The parents don’t understand why the kids and grand kids don’t keep in touch and don’t see themselves as the initial culprit.

Yeah well the “trend” is to take your daughters boyfriend on vacation with you & pay for him according to my kids & their friends/parents.

I proclaimed none of that will be happening while I’m alive so they can forget that single mom besty shit up front.

Dudes are not allowed to spend the night at my house until there’s an engagement planned & a ring on her finger.

My rules.

My oldest I trust will have this figured out well. My youngest is going to be a handful.

 

[dread Pirate]

Have you ever seen bad boys 2? The Reggie scene? That will be my go to when my 2 year old is ready to date

A good friend of mine, who is a large black man, rehearsed this scene and nailed it with my daughters boyfriend. I'm pretty sure the kid pissed himself.


My daughter appreciated it and realized her boy "from the hood" ain't really from the hood.

 

[whiteworks]

So hears the deal, if my daughter has an interest in this guy, I have an interest in this guy. Whether he’s able to stick around for a while or not is on him, but while he’s in the picture I’m invested in him also.

The facts are that my daughter knows we have her back 100% and we have open and positive communication about everything. She would like me to meet him and I’d imagine be able to spend some time outside of school with cello boy and have our blessings in doing so. I’ve got no issue with any of it, nor do I need to flex on some 14 year old kid LOL

The way I see it is if I play this first hand correct I’ll will continue to be dealt a hand at the table and maybe have a little influence is on the one she decides to keep down the road.

When she first told my wife and she had interest in a boy my first statement to my wife was “well that’s a relief, she’s not a lesbian and we may get some grand kids someday and a cool son in law”.

For the record I approve of cello boy currently, he’s been nothing short of fantastic in how he’s treated my daughter for a very long time prior to them calling them selves a couple. Seems like a well mannered nice young man, it’s just time for some face time now.

 

[attitude]

Girls with strict Dads are always the most rebellious… As stated above if you make it uncomfortable for the boyfriend to hangout around her parents, then they will make sure they hangout without the parents around.

 

[81Sprint]

Recently had the "pleasure" of going thru this with my freshman daughter, who is beautiful inside and out and also a cheerleader. Lucky for me, her new friend, that is now her boyfriend was really nervous to meet me and told my daughter that these were important things for him to do when meeting me-

Look me in the eyes.
Give a firm hand shake.
Use "sir" when addressing me.

I was pretty impressed. And he's a star baseball player, so I can't complain I guess. But, they still don't get to be left alone in any room in the house 'cause I know what I was doing with my girlfriends even with parents home

 

[Cdog]

Happened fast….ill have a senior & a freshman next year

 

[bk2drvr]

Might be cool kid ? I would rather have a Cello player with strict parents than a video game addict whose parents don't care.

As a father of a married 28 year old daughter I can tell you just stay close with here regardless of who she's with as a teen.

"Strong Fathers Strong daughters" by Meg Meeker is great book for Dad's of young girls.

One thing that was a HUGE eye opener to me when my daughter started dating was that values and how you should treat others and how others should treat you had already been 90% cemented in her. Don't think that once your daughter starts dating you and mom can pull her aside and teach her how she should be treated and she should treat others. You already taught her the past 16-18 years, you just didn't know it. If you want your daughter to be strong and mentally healthy in her relationships then have a close relationship with her and show her how its done in your own relationships with your wife and others from birth to dating.

 

[lbhsbz]

My buddy Danny has an absolutely smokin hot daughter.

Me: (20 years ago) ... Hey Danny....is your daughter single
Him: The call is gonna go like this...."Hi Mrs. Lbhsbz .... this is the Sheriffs department. Strangest case of suicide we've ever seen...your son shot himself in the back 7 times after kicking the shit out of himself and running himself over with a truck.....never seen anything like it"

Then he told me he'd have to come over for a BBQ to discuss it further...and he be putting his meat in my grill.

I left her alone after that.

 

[Socalx09]

My dad was super strict, and would have been a complete asshole to any boy I had around when I was younger. Since he was that way, I choose to lie and sneak around. I didn’t enjoy doing that, but at the time, I felt like I had no choice.

I think you are on the right track getting to know him and supporting your daughter. She will come to you if there’s any problems since she knows she can be open with you.

 

[81Sprint]

Happened fast….ill have a senior & a freshman next year

Right! My son is gonna be 21 this year!

This is them sitting in your Dad's backyard! Forever ago!

 

[2Driver]

Girls with strict Dads are always the most rebellious… As stated above if you make it uncomfortable for the boyfriend to hangout around her parents, then they will make sure they hangout without the parents around.

Yep

Like in Meet the Fockers when Greg finally says, “We have our own circle of trust now and you aren’t in it.”

 

[GETBOATS]

Just glad I only had three sons.

And so am I !!! We now have a 2 year old grand daughter, both my wife and I say "we don't know how to do girls.........LOL

 

[Flyinbowtie]

Just read your post to Cindy, Dylan.
She loved it. She says you are doing it right and that all will be well.
Cindy is usually right in these matters.
I dunno, buddy...I raised sons, no idea how to be a girl Dad. My #2 son now has a 15 yr old daughter. He is walking through the same minefield you are, LOL.
This girl is our #1 grandchild of a total of 5.
She once said something to me with her Dad listening, about worrying how he would be with Her First Boyfriend.
I told her not to worry about her father, he was a good, stable, understanding man who would be kind and gentle with this feller, whoever he might be.
I told her who this feller needed to worry about was me.
She turned to me with a surprised look.
"I am the Poppa of the Granddaughter. I am everything a teenage boy should be terrified of."
I grinned at her, and she said, "Poppa I know you love me, I know you are not like that".
I am glad she thinks that way...but hell hath no fury like Poppa when it comes to his granddaughters.

 

[troostr]

For reference from right to left, my oldest son, my daughter and her “cello boy”.
WW, it sounds like we’re similar. This is the type she generally likes. She is always open with us, and we give any kid any of them date a chance. By chance I mean if they are a thing for more than a month, we invite them for dinner. Typically though the kid has already been to our house and we’ve met. My daughter always lets them know that they’ll be judged harshest by their handshake than about anything else.
One perk to living in a smallish town is you know pretty much everyone on some level. More often than not we know or know of any kid’s parents that might come around.
Sounds like your relationship with your daughter is solid. That means she know how a guy should treat her and won’t give a second look to those that don’t act accordingly. You’re good.

 

[GETBOATS]

Had a buddy from Ohio years back, at the time his daughters were 16 and 18, both were drop dead gorgeous. When the suitor would show up, he'd welcome them into his home, sit them down on the couch, crack open another Bud Lite, now he'd be on # 12. Yea this was 8 years ago, so no Bud Lite comment. Then he'd slide over next to them, take a sip and say "Ricky, you can't imagine how much I love may daughter, she means everything to me, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. My hope is that you two have a great time tonight and be back by 11;00 PM. I also want you to know anything you do to my daughter I'm going to do to you" Now you two run along and have a great time.

 

[Lunatic Fringe]

Makes me chuckle with some of you guys thinking being scary with the boys will work.
Testosterone trumps everything and we all know it.

I had a father set a pistol on the arm of his chair aimed right at me across the living room during our "meet and greet".

It worked so well I fu**ed his daughter every chance I had and when I was done with her, I fu**ed the next one.
I was 16. He could have shot me dead and I still would have had a hard on and a non-functional brain.

As said before, your daughter and what you've taught her will determine the outcome.

 

[FCT]

Meet kid for coffee downtown.
If he stands up and shakes your hand, you’re good to go. No handshake, no date
Text daughter after 10 minutes of talking and have her walk in and you walk out, so they can continue to hang out.

I like that.

I have boys so it’s definitely a little different. I will definitely call the girls dad and tell him He has my permission to put the fear of God into my boys if they are going to be dating his daughter.

Teenagers are going to be teenagers, but I hope I can help My boys be a little more respectful than I was.

 

[FCT]

I love watching my only son bring home some little chicks. For the most part all of them are quite nice. I'm usually like, why is this nice girl hanging around my son?

If one of the girl’s dad brags about how many guns they own he just says that your little collection is nice but we have more at home, plus, my dad has the large heavy equipment to bury the problems.

He definitely has lots to choose from running around Canyon Lake

 

[Bajastu]

He definitely has lots to choose from running around Canyon Lake

Yeah, he goes to Murrieta Valley due to the Fire program but he hangs with the Canyon Lake kids and the chicks.

 

[rivermobster]

You’re making way more of this than you need to. Shes only a freshman, she’s a good kid, so is he, they’re a long way from having sex, and when they are, you won’t be able to stop it anyhow. Don’t embarrass her, you don’t need a big formal meet and greet and you don’t need to meet his parents so you can judge their worthiness either.

Lighten up Francis.

THIS!!!!

Odds are she ain't gonna marry this guy. She just wants to have someone to hang out with!

Do you trust your daughter, or not??

If you raised her right, stop staying up till 3am worring about something you clearly can't control. Good grief.

Kiss theory.

 

[2Driver]

All I know for sure is, Dave is at a cool boat show in Florida and we are online arguing about parental techniques.

LOL Someone is winning and it’s not us.

 

[BingerFang]

Where’s the 16 yr old you now days? Buncha muppet hair queers out there now

My mom was as tough as they came. Manners wasn’t an option, it was mandatory.

 

[LuauLounge]

You guys are ruthless behind the keyboard.
We have no kids, so I can’t relate on that level. As a father, I’d want the best for my kids. With that said, your kids are going to do what they are going to do.
To the OP, you may be hanging with your future SIL or he may be 2nd Chello.

 

[SJP]

I am sending a link of this thread to my two boys. They will be better prepared for what's coming down the road.

 

[OCMerrill]

I never judged or said much anything about who my daughter or son dated.
Think of how you were sneaking around finding places to get a little. Well they are way better at it then you.

They are old enough now to make all the mistakes they want except one....

My no grandpa rule. I'm not raising your kid while you dump your education to work at Wallmart. Protect yourselves and so far so good.

Son in the middle wearing a WhiteWorks Surfboard hat. His girl, very easy to get along with and super smart. Monster trucks a couple weeks back.

 

[stephenkatsea]

C-Ya's Application is funny as hell, but it also contains some worthy points. Determining the answer to some of those items, without him filling out the form, might be a good thing. Maintaining your present relationship with your daughter is Primary. 'Cello players' - there's many thousands of those all over the country. Their likes and interests may not be mine, but many may be good guys. I never knew my wife's Dad. She's said since I didn't exactly have short hair and played for years in a rock and roll band, her Dad would have been a very tough hurdle. But, once he found out I ran sportfishing boats and loved to fish & hunt, I might have gotten a foot in the door. Dating - there will probably be many of them. Fiancé - that's when it gets serious. But, your daughter has already made up her mind at that point. When I asked our daughter's 20 yr old first husband to be, about what he intended to do for work, he said he would be an entrepreneur. I said, OK, when will that start? Crickets. Of course, it never did. They divorced after about 9 years.

 

[HBCraig]

My daughter is a freshman and has her first boyfriend, they’re both dorks for the most part and pretty awkward with each other. They dont kiss or hold hands, but they did manage a side hug for his birthday. He walks her to lunch and then she hangs with her friends and he hangs with his. He’s been into her for a few years, always getting her little gifts and remembering her birthday. He plays the cello and bakes her things once in a while, half a fag if you ask me but that’s cool considering what’s going on. It’s an odd little relationship, but kinda nice that they’re awkward dorks.

His folks are super strict, he didn’t tell them they were dating until recently, my daughter came home and told us immediately that they were an item. A few months back she asked if they could go hang out downtown after school one day, I told her no as his folks were unaware of there status as a “couple” and it’s not cool to be sneaking around, as well I had never met the kid.

So fast forward to now, he told his folks they are seeing each other and that I wouldn’t let her go downtown to hang out because we hadn’t met and his folks didn’t know they were seeing each other, the kids dad told him he should come meet me as that’s the standup thing to do.

My daughter is asking me how I want to meet this kid? I told her I’d sleep on it and come up with something. I was prepared for some little hardon with letterman jacket showing up, but a half a fag cello player I'm gonna have to be a bit more delicate with LOL

So what’s the move here?

Wait til he walks to your door. See if he makes eye contact and gives you a good handshake.
Thos two things are important to me

 

[4Waters]

Wait til he walks to your door. See if he makes eye contact and gives you a good handshake.
Thos two things are important to me

Exactly, post 10

 

[coolchange]

Cello boy huh?
This one time at band camp….

 

[Lunatic Fringe]

This is actually the father we should all strive to be.

 

[parker guy]

My daughter had a boy friend, my wife and I had him over dinner. We invited him 30 minutes before dinner was ready. My wife asked my daughter for help. I got sometime with her BF alone. Just chatted and I asked him questions about his family, school, college, what he likes to do. He was nervous but he relaxed and I told him he needs to win over my wife now. I told when dinner was done, do the dishes. My wife was like he is great. LOL

 

[Deckin Around]

I'm glad we still use the word Fag here, it makes me giggle.

 

[RiverDave]

Makes me chuckle with some of you guys thinking being scary with the boys will work.
Testosterone trumps everything and we all know it.

I had a father set a pistol on the arm of his chair aimed right at me across the living room during our "meet and greet".

It worked so well I fu**ed his daughter every chance I had and when I was done with her, I fu**ed the next one.
I was 16. He could have shot me dead and I still would have had a hard on and a non-functional brain.

As said before, your daughter and what you've taught her will determine the outcome.

This is so true.. LOL.

RD

 

[C-Ya]

I didn’t read all the posts.

Bible verse…….

“There is no better way to get to know your high school age daughters’ boyfriend, than to take them boating.”

When my daughter was in high school, I owned a 27’ Playcraft Tritoon that had a 496HO. I kept it my my Phoenix toy condo. I lost count of the number of times I had a boatload of Xavier girls and Brophy boys on board at Lake Pleasant. Wakeboarding, cliff jumping, cruising around. I really got to know the boys, by doing this. I truly liked each of them They were funny and adventurous. My daughter’s boyfriend would always say to me when handing me a beverage…….. Mr Fitzgerald, your mountains are blue! Lol I miss Tom

 

[hallett21]

Some of these responses lol.

I remember the daughters of the badass dads being the wildest at parties lol.

I’ve known my wife since second grade and we’ve been together since junior year of high school. We now have an almost 2 year old daughter.

Respect begets respect. I jumped out of her bedroom window plenty of times. Her parents now laugh about the stories.

 

[DWC]

Makes me chuckle with some of you guys thinking being scary with the boys will work.
Testosterone trumps everything and we all know it.

I had a father set a pistol on the arm of his chair aimed right at me across the living room during our "meet and greet".

It worked so well I fu**ed his daughter every chance I had and when I was done with her, I fu**ed the next one.
I was 16. He could have shot me dead and I still would have had a hard on and a non-functional brain.

As said before, your daughter and what you've taught her will determine the outcome.

Funny how people forget how they were at 16 or think kids are “different” these days.

 

[SBMech]

I feel for you fathers. I was a bastard of a young man, good looking, motorcycle, lived alone at 16.....multiple vehicles...dad's worst nightmare, VistaCruiser Wagon with a BBC everyone affectionately called "Clambuster".....

Worst yet I was intelligent and well spoken, polite and fierce about protecting my GF's....small town everyone knew most people, at least in school.

Many a single Mom invited me in and gave me permission to stay the night, they knew we were gonna do it, might as well be at home haha...

One Dad (local BMOC bad ass bar brawler guy) grabbed me in the garage and hoisted my shit up on the wall...asked me point blank..

"Are you going to fuck my Daughter?!?!" with a mean growl...

I replied "Honestly Billy, yes sir, yes I am...probably not tonight, but eventually." my mouth said as I prepared to get knocked the fuck out...

He laughs and said to me : "At least you are man enough to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. I'm not giving you permission, that's her own decision, but if I find out she was coerced or drunk, passed out..you better pick out a tombstone. If you are going to drink, do it here. I've heard you don't drink and drive and are good to your girls. Keep it that way."

I still did it, not that night, because she wasn't ready, but soon enough. We went our separate ways soon enough, but Billy and I are still friends....weird how time and age does not matter so much after 40 years. For the record, I still love his daughter Serenity, good lord she was beautiful. Still is haha, married to a dentist with 3 kids.

Point of this long rambling story, not all bad boys are so bad, honesty and trust still go a long ways. If the kid gives a good shake, looks you in the eye when greeting, brings her home on time and you get no complaints from your daughter...be happy.

 

[Cole Trickle]

Funny how people forget how they were at 16 or think kids are “different” these days.

Right

Aside from the stuff i mentioned earlier i tell my son all the time never send any kind of body part photos or video. If you have to make sure there is no face or discriminating evidence...lol

Basically don't do anything that's recorded and never say anything online that's negative or derogatory as it can follow you forever.

We have all done dumb things but the cell phone wasn't there to hold you responsible for life.

 

[JFMFG]

I feel for you fathers. I was a bastard of a young man, good looking, motorcycle, lived alone at 16.....multiple vehicles...dad's worst nightmare, VistaCruiser Wagon with a BBC everyone affectionately called "Clambuster".....

Worst yet I was intelligent and well spoken, polite and fierce about protecting my GF's....small town everyone knew most people, at least in school.

Many a single Mom invited me in and gave me permission to stay the night, they knew we were gonna do it, might as well be at home haha...

One Dad (local BMOC bad ass bar brawler guy) grabbed me in the garage and hoisted my shit up on the wall...asked me point blank..

"Are you going to fuck my Daughter?!?!" with a mean growl...

I replied "Honestly Billy, yes sir, yes I am...probably not tonight, but eventually." my mouth said as I prepared to get knocked the fuck out...

He laughs and said to me : "At least you are man enough to look me in the eye and tell me the truth. I'm not giving you permission, that's her own decision, but if I find out she was coerced or drunk, passed out..you better pick out a tombstone. If you are going to drink, do it here. I've heard you don't drink and drive and are good to your girls. Keep it that way."

I still did it, not that night, because she wasn't ready, but soon enough. We went our separate ways soon enough, but Billy and I are still friends....weird how time and age does not matter so much after 40 years. For the record, I still love his daughter Serenity, good lord she was beautiful. Still is haha, married to a dentist with 3 kids.

Point of this long rambling story, not all bad boys are so bad, honesty and trust still go a long ways. If the kid gives a good shake, looks you in the eye when greeting, brings her home on time and you get no complaints from your daughter...be happy.

Savage

 

[shintoooo]

Savage

 

[OCMerrill]

Right

Aside from the stuff i mentioned earlier i tell my son all the time never send any kind of body part photos or video. If you have to make sure there is no face or discriminating evidence...lol

Basically don't do anything that's recorded and never say anything online that's negative or derogatory as it can follow you forever.

We have all done dumb things but the cell phone wasn't there to hold you responsible for life.

Dont hold a beer can at a party. Pour it in a subway cup.

That way when someone spills the pictures onto the internet he is good to go.

 

[napanutt]

I’m just glad I don’t have to worry about adolescence dating and shit anymore. Well, until our two year old grandson gets a bit older and might need some “paw paw” advice.

 

[hallett21]

lol now I’m remembering my first freshman “date”. My dad dropped me off at this girls house (home coming and we were taking a limo). Her dad did the whole “guns are cleaned” pitch. I look at my dad with the “is this a competition” look lol.

Needless to say that relationship didn’t work out lol. But when the dad said we have a shotgun my honest response was so do we…? lol.

 

[RiverDave]

lol now I’m remembering my first freshman “date”. My dad dropped me off at this girls house (home coming and we were taking a limo). Her dad did the whole “guns are cleaned” pitch. I look at my dad with the “is this a competition” look lol.

Needless to say that relationship didn’t work out lol. But when the dad said we have a shotgun my honest response was so do we…? lol.

I remember I dated a girl named Jenny from Oceanside.. her dad did the gun thing on the table. It was a really rad double barrel hand crank 50 cal machine gun thing..

I was absolutely fascinated with it when I saw it and was asking questions and asking if we could go shoot it.. lol. It didn’t have the desired affect. Point in fact I didn’t even realize that it was some kinda threat til much later in life.

I have a horribly embarrassing story that happened a few months after that. I was banging her on the living room floor.. all of a sudden I heard the “flink” of a zippo lighter.. at some point he had come in and we didn’t hear it and sat on the couch and decided to light a cigarette.. Jenny screams and bolts to her room and slams and locks the door. Guess where all my clothes were..

I run to the bathroom and grab a towel and am banging on her door pleading for her to give me my clothes.. total fucking chaos. She wouldn’t open the god damn door so I’m sitting out there with the dad in a fucking towel. At some point the condim falls off and hits the floor.

He made some comment about at least being safe..

A long time later (I’m talking like 20 minutes), Finally she opened the door and threw my clothes out and slammed it again.. I got dressed and he said “I think it’s time for you to go home”.

I don’t remember why but I didn’t have my car.. and that was the first time I used a bus to get from Oceanside to somewhat close to where I live.

What a fucking shit show.. most uncomfortable day of my life.

 

[rivermobster]

I remember I dated a girl named Jenny from Oceanside.. her dad did the gun thing on the table. It was a really rad double barrel hand crank 50 cal machine gun thing..

I was absolutely fascinated with it when I saw it and was asking questions and asking if we could go shoot it.. lol. It didn’t have the desired affect.

I have a horribly embarrassing story that happened a few months after that. I was banging her on the living room floor.. all of a sudden I heard the “flink” of a zippo lighter.. at some point he had come in and we didn’t hear it and sat on the couch and decided to light a cigarette.. Jenny screams and bolts to her room and slams and locks the door. Guess where all my clothes were..

I run to the bathroom and grab a towel and am banging on her door pleading for her to give me my clothes.. total fucking chaos. She wouldn’t open the god damn door so I’m sitting out there with the dad in a fucking towel. At some point the condim falls off and hits the floor.

He made some comment about at least being safe..

A long time later, Finally she opened the door and threw my clothes out and slammed it again.. I got dressed and he said “I think it’s time for you to go home”.

I don’t remember why but I didn’t have my car.. and that was the first time I used a bus to get from Oceanside to somewhat close to where I live.

What a fucking shit show.. most uncomfortable day of my life.

Gawd damn...

That's an A list story right there!