Kids and money

[lebel409]

#1, I am all in favor of kids doing extras, band, soccer, baseball, debate, scouts, etc. I'm grateful my daughter got a ride to college to play waterpolo...but IMO these programs see themselves as the most important thing a kid can do, and god forbid that you want to do something else also. We'd planned a 2 week Scout trip 2 years in advance, my daughter raised $1000 to go ( She'd been before and we told her if she wanted to go again it was on her)...and her coach gave her nothing but crap, called her "boy scout", that she was letting the team down, wasting her time...until she finally cancelled to go to his tournament instead. Maybe the tournament was a stepping stone to college, maybe it wouldn't have mattered? But it was an enormous amount of pressure put on a young person by an authority figure. I told her she was welcome to quit polo, but mom wasn't on board.

We've been told she can't go snow skiiing, to trampolines, etc because she might get injured. It's OK if you get injured during a game, but not on your own time?

In waterpolos off season she wanted to run cross country, but the cross country coach said if you can't make ALL the practices you couldn't be on the team. The best thing for her would have been some cross training and a small break from the pool

I'd love to see a kids movement that gave flexibility to rehearsals, meeting, practices, and encouraged young people to explore many options, not just what the conductor/coach/etc want for HIS group. In poverty prone areas maybe a sport is the shot a kid has to get out of that situation...so take the shot. I see my kid as having multiple strengths and opportunities and really hate that these "leaders" make these extracurriculars about themselves and not the kids.

 

[coolchange]

Try band. Most people don't realize it's a 3 season "sport". Football, band comp and drum line. Fortunately my kid only did it one year.

 

[Waterjunky]

My dad and I have been talking about Carts for my son in a couple of years. All the issues mentioned above scare me a little about that. I think he would have a great time doing it but the cost and time commitment would spin out of control very quickly. My wife is not impressed with the idea of running a season.

 

[JD D05]

I understand that. I have to say that we are doing the travel baseball deal all the time for 2 different teams; a Havasu and Vegas team. I do push too. But mostly the mental aspects of the sport. There is time to boat, fish, and do other kid stuff. We have a lot of fun on our road trips and try to experience different stuff all the time. But when push comes to shove I definitely want to get this kid thru college on a baseball ride, after that he can mess up as much as he wants. LoL

You are in a different situation than me...The other part of all this is I don't get to see my little boy that much because I am waiting for the girls to get done with cheer everyday of the week. By the time I get home we get maybe an hour together. I get the scholarship stuff, injuries knocked me out but my brother has a accounting degree from the University of Minnesota and he did not pay a dime. He is also not using it but still. You may already be aware but college athletics are cool but not as much as most people realize. And it can be flat out a shit experience. You would not believe the crap coaches pull on kids especially in basketball. Some kids are just meant for it though, like the military.

 

[DC-88]

It was fun and I could afford it, but we spent way more time with travel baseball than I wanted. The wife and I had to split every couple weeks to go to different tourneys, but it did pay off for my youngest in the end with saving $ on college. Most importantly looking back, as long as your'e not going all Bobby Knight on them, the time spent doing what they choose to do balanced with some work and other vacations leads to good relationships with them later on. Looking back all our friends who constantly dumped their kids with grandma to do endless strings of date night to Vegas, concerts, etc are the ones still dealing with kids that are " failure to launch" or are jacked up---

 

[wsuwrhr]

Tough deal, in my life I am guessing it will be horses for my kids.

I weigh it against "What will a kid having a baby, or a son in jail cost?"

 

[Singleton]

I know not a single child my kids grew up with that did these extracurricular activities, including my own, that continued beyond high school.
From a parent perspective, to me most of team building/personal interaction has been lost to "winning at all cost" whatever the activity. Coaches yelling at young kids, put downs, and the like.

Times have changed over the last 10 years. College coaches don’t even attend HS games anymore, it is all club.

My daughter swim on a competitive team (3 practices a week, with optional weekend). She loves it so we continue, but I have no problem telling the coaches and team director she will be gone for x,y,z. If they ever push back in her going boating, camping, off-roading, visiting the family ranch, etc - she will be done. IMO kids learn more from spending time with grandparents!

 

[riverroyal]

We fill ya brother. Private school, sports , now my 14 year old wants to start racing mini GP bikes.

We call the kids “ATM’s” as in they take All The Money.

I’m SO glad we side stepped the Cheer. The Mrs tried and tried. Luckily the oldest wants to race Motorcycles [emoji106]


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We? Your the only one 'filling' a guy

Try a skateboard or surfboard. Much cheaper as a parent

 

[rightytighty]

My oldest has grown up playing hockey and is now playing in college. He is good enough to play D2 hockey and not get a scholarship. So we pay outta state fees for him to continue playing, LOL. But the confidence and commitment to work that he’s learned is worth every dime. He is a 4th liner through and through. A worker bee and a glue guy. He was told he’d probably have to red shirt this year but he worked hard enough in practice that the coach put him in the first game and he played every game the rest of the season and even started getting PK time at end of season.
It’s worth it when there is passion.

My middle has most talent by far and tons of passion during the game but no desire to work at or outside of practice. She’s gonna be playing Juco soccer next year. She could have played D 1. Kinda sad, but I refuse to “make them work”. Sports are for them. I’ve seen too many crazy sports parents.

My youngest played volleyball and mostly preferred the between match snacks. We pulled her out of sports this year and is now in Art classes where she is happier.

 

[stephenkatsea]

It was interesting watching the girls play at the highest level of softball prior to college. We had watched many of them improve and mature from doing cart wheels in the outfield when they first started to the highest level they had now achieved. Many of the kids had known each other for many years. They continued to support each other, on and off the field. Some of the parents were a different story. We typically knew when college scout(s) were observing a game. Some parents became outright vicious as they sought those college scholarships for their daughters. At times, the negative comments they would openingly make about their daughter's team mates were beyond belief. Our daughter once said, "Dad some of those parents are just a bunch of idiots. Those scouts know what they're looking for and who is good. Nothing some of the parents are going to say will make a bit of difference." Our girl had grown up.

 

[steak&lobster]

You are in a different situation than me...The other part of all this is I don't get to see my little boy that much because I am waiting for the girls to get done with cheer everyday of the week. By the time I get home we get maybe an hour together. I get the scholarship stuff, injuries knocked me out but my brother has a accounting degree from the University of Minnesota and he did not pay a dime. He is also not using it but still. You may already be aware but college athletics are cool but not as much as most people realize. And it can be flat out a shit experience. You would not believe the crap coaches pull on kids especially in basketball. Some kids are just meant for it though, like the military.

I hope you get to spend more time with your son in the future. Damn girls. LoL.
Yah I played college and in the pros (minors) and for sure the higher you get the pressure builds. Hopefully my kid will continue to enjoy and succeed and get his college paid for, after that, life will happen.

 

[JD D05]

I hope you get to spend more time with your son in the future. Damn girls. LoL.
Yah I played college and in the pros (minors) and for sure the higher you get the pressure builds. Hopefully my kid will continue to enjoy and succeed and get his college paid for, after that, life will happen.

I will for sure. This coming year the girls are on the same team so it will only be 3 days a week. I told the coach if they aren't than I will move them.

What position does your boy play?

 

[UHHH SUCKA]

Wait until they start travel ball. My 8 year old got recruited to a travel team and it seemed like cheer all over again.

Not only does it cost a shit ton of money, it cuts into my boating time.




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You are just in the beginning stage. Mine was 9 when I got him into travel baseball but its the best thing for them if they are serious about the sport. He's now 14 and this is his last year before going into high school ball. Talk about taking $$$ and boating time away from me!! Oh well, the river is not going anywhere and before you know it, they'll be doing their own thing.....enjoy it while you can.

 

[DrunkenSailor]

We have it easy so far. Flag football for the boy and ballet for the girl is relatively cheap. I know the pain is coming though.

 

[beaverretriever]

Thanks God we are DINKs. Hahaha.

When I was young, my parents bought me my first road bike at 12 years old. I got good, really good riding that thing, got sponsored and they never had to really pay another penny the whole time I raced through my teens.

 

[Cole Trickle]

My son is 10 and we are in his second year of club soccer. Last year we played on a Flight 3 team and this year we made the move to a flight 1 (very competitive top tier) so it's even more commitment and travel to tournaments.

It's a car payment every month but I made him a deal as long as he loves it and gives it his all we will support him as we enjoy watching him play. I haven't been to the River/Lake in 6 months and I don't see that changing anytime soon. We still make time to get away and do other family stuff together and we continue to push him to be well rounded and a good student.

Honestly I could careless if he gets a college scholarship. I want him to be confident and enjoy the game and be good enough to enjoy high school sports and make memories.

We only have 1 kid I don't know how some parents do it with 3+.......Life is basically just flying by and you are a parent swapping taxi driver.

 

[batterup]

As a little league coach and parent, I disagree with some of the mentality in this thread. I don't believe year round anything is good for a kid. It's not good for their bodies, both physical and mental. A lot of kids eventually get burned out and end up hating the sport. Also, kids either have natural talent or they don't. Playing travel ball or club isn't going to change that fact. It might help kids get better, but for the most part it's a money grab for coaches selling hope to parents. As for baseball specifically, there is a reason why tommy john surgery is becoming so common for high school and college baseball players. Their arms never get a chance to rest. BTW - Here is an article that I like to share with my parents. The biggest take away for me was the fact that Mike Trout didn't play t-ball until he was 7 and always played other sports. Right now, kids can play t-ball at 3 years old/league age 4 depending on their birthday and year round at age 5.


Jeff Trout, father of Los Angeles Angels center fielder Mike:
When Mike was 7 years old, he was playing tee ball. The kids all run toward the ball at that age. It's a mess. Mike was playing shortstop, and a big kid came to the plate. The kid hit a sharp line drive like you'd see hit off of a tee, and Mike moved two or three steps to his left and dove for it. He was actually parallel to the ground as he caught the ball. It was the kind of play that Andrelton Simmons, the shortstop for the Angels, would make now. I looked at my wife, and she said, "Did anyone get that on video?" Nobody did, but after the game, I just told Mike, "Hey, nice catch, pal." It was incredible, but I didn't make a big deal out of it.

I'd been around enough players and kids and sports in my day to know that even at that age, Mike was a cut above his peers athletically. He was a little faster, a little more agile, had better hand-eye coordination and great instincts. But I also knew that there's already so much built-in pressure to the game itself. You don't need parents basing their day on how well their kid played in Little League.

Mike was dunking a basketball when he was 5-foot-9 in ninth grade. At such an early age, he was doing things athletically that kind of made me think, "He may be a special kind of kid."

Even though Mike was talented, he was exposed to all types of things and never pigeon-holed growing up, and I think it has made him a better person and a better player. He's the youngest of our three kids. My daughter is a Realtor. My other son is an attorney and owns his own consulting business. Mike is the baby. Three successful kids in their own right.

I was not one of these parents who said, "Hey, keep working on going to the big leagues." It was always about college and education -- that was our focus. I think that took a lot of pressure off of Mike. My wife and I just wanted him to play and enjoy the game. And then we thought that maybe one day, it will help pay for a college education. We're both teachers, so we focused on that.

Our mentality was, let's go fishing or go get an ice cream after the game. People are so astonished by that because you see how talented and refined Mike is as an athlete, and you'd think he spent 90 percent of his days playing baseball. But not even close. He played all sports, he did art classes, he golfed, he hunted. Too many parents these days push, push, push their kids into sports.

We gave him the opportunities and tools to be the best that he could as an athlete, as a player. Any time he wanted to hit or play catch, I did it. But I didn't go to him. I didn't wake him up to go hit. And if he wanted to go fishing that day instead, we went fishing. -- As told to Anna Katherine Clemmons

 

[oldschool]

Both my daughters played HS and travel volleyball. I started, directed and coached a junior girls volleyball club for several years. In my opinion, it's about passion and priorities. What I mean by that is, your child must have the passion, desire and drive for whatever it is they are doing. If it's the parents pushing or making them do it, It not good for anyone. I told my daughters that as long as they had the passion for it we would do what ever we could to give them the opportunity. My oldest played through junior college, she then made a decision that where she wanted to attend college was above her skill level for volleyball. She attends UCLA, but could have played D2 somewhere if she wanted. My youngest played till her senior year in HS and then found something else that she enjoyed more. I always told them that we are doing this because YOU love it, when you don't we will stop.
Lots of clubs out there, whether it's cheer, baseball, basketball, volleyball, etc, just want your money and don't have you or your child's best interest at heart.
I enjoyed and am thankful for every moment we spent with our daughters during this time, I hope they are as well.

 

[Sherpa]

kids and money..
well, I have 3 daughters who are all in college. I'm footing that bill.
the 3 cars they drive I'm footing that bill. everything except gas.
One of my 3 is going to a school out of town where we live so I'm footing that rent bill too.
same daughter is also in cheer in college... I told the wife I refuse to cover that cost.

pretty soon I'll be footing for 3 weddings.............

--Sherpa

 

[EmpirE231]

People that don't have kids, don't realize how expensive it is having kids these days. Especially kids that are doing anything competitively.

I have two daughters. playing club soccer. If you told me 5 years ago that we would be way into soccer, and missing some desert trips / river trips because of it... I would have laughed and said NO WAY. Now... here I am, looking forward to all their games, and actually get bummed out if a tournament gets cancelled. If you take the money spent on this stuff and just invest it, you could damn near pay for college. So if the only reason you are doing it is to "hopefully" get a college ride out of it... that's a bad idea.

 

[steak&lobster]

I will for sure. This coming year the girls are on the same team so it will only be 3 days a week. I told the coach if they aren't than I will move them.

What position does your boy play?

Catcher


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[Cole Trickle]

People that don't have kids, don't realize how expensive it is having kids these days. Especially kids that are doing anything competitively.

I have two daughters. playing club soccer. If you told me 5 years ago that we would be way into soccer, and missing some desert trips / river trips because of it... I would have laughed and said NO WAY. Now... here I am, looking forward to all their games, and actually get bummed out if a tournament gets cancelled. If you take the money spent on this stuff and just invest it, you could damn near pay for college. So if the only reason you are doing it is to "hopefully" get a college ride out of it... that's a bad idea.

Absolutely....

People don't realize that most scholarships won't be full boat or for all 4 years. Most are not getting taken care of like the football and basketball kids you see on espn.

Football and basketball along with a couple other sports make big $$$ for the university. Most other sports don't.

Do it because they love it not because of the financial pay out. I have a buddy who's daughter just got a ride for softball and I bet if you calculated what he paid for club softball,travel,tournaments as well as strength/conditioning and swing coaches he will still be loosing $$$.

https://www.ncsasports.org/recruiting/managing-recruiting-process/walk-on-vs-scholarship

 

[rivermobster]

So I have 2 daughters in comp cheer and it is a great deal for them and me really. There active part of a team they work hard and they are really good at it. My older daughter got in a little late but confidence went way way up. We have also made lifelong friends etc. BUT there is NO offseason at all and over the top some in my opinion. I say that because I grew up in a similar deal played college basketball etc. After all said and done I look back and remember the camping etc and have better memories from all of that by far. I also did the math on what we paid in fees travel gas etc this year....over 20 grand, that is more than my previous homes all year which were nice places. Sometimes I just go what the fuck. This coming year we are adding a 3rd team...my older daughter is doing Varsity high school also.

Of all the comments in this thread, only one rings true to me...

It goes by fast.

Have you asked your kids what's important to them? What do they want to do?

Enjoy the ride. It goes by way too fast.

 

[LargeOrangeFont]

People that don't have kids, don't realize how expensive it is having kids these days. Especially kids that are doing anything competitively.

I have two daughters. playing club soccer. If you told me 5 years ago that we would be way into soccer, and missing some desert trips / river trips because of it... I would have laughed and said NO WAY. Now... here I am, looking forward to all their games, and actually get bummed out if a tournament gets cancelled. If you take the money spent on this stuff and just invest it, you could damn near pay for college. So if the only reason you are doing it is to "hopefully" get a college ride out of it... that's a bad idea.

So what is your endgame then or where does soccer stop? If they said "We are sick of soccer." would it be over, and they would go do something else?

Is it better to just let them play "non club" soccer for fun, and use that extra money for their future?

I'm not being critical, it is your family and I totally get enjoying your kids succeed, and watching them grow and mature. But for me I don't want to have spent $250K for my kid to have just "played a sport" for 10 years.

 

[JD D05]

Of all the comments in this thread, only one rings true to me...

It goes by fast.

Have you asked your kids what's important to them? What do they want to do?

Enjoy the ride. It goes by way too fast.

Ya it is crazy how fast it goes. Ya I ask them every fucking day hoping they say not cheer lol.

 

[JD D05]

So what is your endgame then or where does soccer stop? If they said "We are sick of soccer." would it be over, and they would go do something else?

Is it better to just let them play "non club" soccer for fun, and use that extra money for their future?

I'm not being critical, it is your family and I totally get enjoying your kids succeed, and watching them grow and mature. But for me I don't want to have spent $250K for my kid to have just "played a sport" for 10 years.

As much as I bitch I will tell you the kids that compete vs the kids around me that don't...It can be obvious. There confidence, how they communicate, etc etc. Plus it isn't like we planned this shit. It started with a add for a dance camp or something. Than one daughter is in and than second daughter is watching her thinking well fuck this isn't fair so than she gets signed up. My good friend I warned him over and over about cheer and he said ya it will never happen. Well it did.

 

[Socalx09]

If you only look at a competitive kids sport for college scholarships, there is a lot more to that. Like I mentioned before, my parents were hoping for college money. Probably most parents in the club scene are hoping for that. But, probably the best thing I have from all of that is the friends I made.

I have been to a lot of weddings for my old teammates/friends, most of the girls make the weddings. I can’t put a price on the trouble, fun and memories we make on the wedding weekends lol. I have about 12 old teammates I can call anytime and they will pick up.

I learned a lot of people skills and problem solving skills being on a team. I had to make hard choices that were left up to me. I only went to my senior prom. Didn’t get to go to other dances. Didn’t hang out with my school friends, and there were river trips I missed. Late night studying sucked- But, I was ok with it because I loved it. If your kid loves the sport, and you see they are happy. I think a majority on this board will give up some river trips and cash because their kid is happy.

If your kid is dreading practices and seems miserable, maybe ask them if they want to take a break. I know coaches can be brutal, but burn out happens. Maybe they come back the following season or they don’t. If the coach doesn’t want your kid back on, there are a lot of other teams to try out for.

 

[steak&lobster]

So what is your endgame then or where does soccer stop? If they said "We are sick of soccer." would it be over, and they would go do something else?

Is it better to just let them play "non club" soccer for fun, and use that extra money for their future?

I'm not being critical, it is your family and I totally get enjoying your kids succeed, and watching them grow and mature. But for me I don't want to have spent $250K for my kid to have just "played a sport" for 10 years.

You know why my kid doesn't play soccer??? Because I ain't watching soccer. . . LoL

 

[Cole Trickle]

So what is your endgame then or where does it stop? If they said "We are sick of soccer." would it be over, and they would go do something else?

Is it better to just let them play "non club" soccer for fun, and use that extra money for their future?

I think you need to be realistic about there ability and future.

If my son decided tomorrow he doesn't want to play we would dig into why. He loves soccer but club is a whole different animal and its competitive and not all about monkeying around and playing grab ass. Perhaps he has an issue with a team mate or the coach and we would try and figure that out and work through it. I would not let him quit over a bad week or over a bad game. If he became disinterested and lost his passion I would try and find something else. My kid eats,sleeps and dreams soccer and is either practicing in the house or in the back yard shooting or juggling. I have zero to do with this it's all him.

He has the speed,size and ability to currently go as far as he wants. If he was getting torched and looked like he didn't belong I wouldn't push and would have kept him in just fun ball..

Clubs have academy's for young kids. It's not as expensive and teaches them all the fundamentals in a way that a AYSO coach just can't. With that said we started with AYSO when Logan was 4 and he loved it and always stood out. We knew about 3 years ago that we should transition to club but didn't as we weren't ready ($$$ and time). 2 years ago he was so far beyond the other kids it started really bothering him as he progressed beyond the other players and coaches. We got recruited by the club as well as AYSO Select and never looked back. We were very green and didn't know what we were doing so we ended up on a team that was a flight 3 (newer team) with kids that were a year to year and a half older. We played that league for a year and he was a stand out against the bigger kids and already understood the basics better than most. The team wasn't all that good but the kids and families were terrific....We still knew we had to push him further and up the ladder for his own development. We moved him to a very good team that is now a flight 1, These kids have been together as a team since they were 4-5 years old and it shows. All the kids are fast and highly skilled for this bracket and the speed of play is way different and he jumped right in and got a starting position....he is still transitioning in the politics,friends and team mate trust department.

With all that said if they are drawn to a sport just get them signed up and let them play softball or soccer and see if the love is there and if they enjoy it. If they check that box and then start to accelerate faster than what's around them it's time to look at better avenues.

 

[LargeOrangeFont]

As much as I bitch I will tell you the kids that compete vs the kids around me that don't...It can be obvious. There confidence, how they communicate, etc etc.

I understand that. But as you noted - It can be a bit over the top, no off season, endless politics, etc. The stuff I see and hear about in the 8 year old girls softball league is already stupid. If my kid is going to be benched because we had a family event over the last game or practice.. F that shit.

 

[LargeOrangeFont]

You know why my kid doesn't play soccer??? Because I ain't watching soccer. . . LoL

No one does. I still don't get the legions of kids playing soccer. It has been going on since I was a kid. You'd think it would have surpassed Baseball and Football in actual popularity by now, it has been 2 generations of kids indoctrinated by soccer LOL.

 

[JD D05]

I understand that. But as you noted - It can be a bit over the top, no off season, endless politics, etc. The stuff I see and hear about in the 8 year old girls softball league is already stupid. If my kid is going to be benched because we had a family event over the last game or practice.. F that shit.

I can't argue with that.

 

[Cole Trickle]

You know why my kid doesn't play soccer??? Because I ain't watching soccer. . . LoL

You know whats funny....I like baseball and it was my favorite sport growing up.

Now that I understand soccer I actually prefer it to watching baseball by a factor of about 100.

Baseball is so slow and boring...lol You can watch all the important highlights on espn in about 3 minutes

 

[Socalx09]

No one does. I still don't get the legions of kids playing soccer. It has been going on since I was a kid. You'd think it would have surpassed Baseball and Football in actual popularity by now, it has been 2 generations of kids indoctrinated by soccer LOL.

I think soccer is still the most popular girl sport there. The 99ers and Mia Hamm started that at least when I was growing up. Irvine was considered the “Mecca” of girls soccer when I grew up. It was ridiculous the amount of corruption going on. Coaches stealing players between games to recruit in the middle of the season. Parents got overly involved and would let their kid switch teams between weekends. Not sure what they thought they were teaching their kids when they would have them quit one team to join another in the season.

Soccer parents are the worst too. The things I heard on the sidelines were horrible! Even now watching my nephews who at 7 in AYSO, you can hear the parents across the other side yelling mean things!

When I was 15, my mom walked in a bathroom were the other teams moms were talking about #9 (me) and how they hope I break my leg in the upcoming game. Well that game I had a slide tackle from behind, way after I passed the ball and sprained my ankle. My mom lost her shit lol.

I almost think the parents are way more involved than the kids in soccer.

 

[EmpirE231]

So what is your endgame then or where does soccer stop? If they said "We are sick of soccer." would it be over, and they would go do something else?

Is it better to just let them play "non club" soccer for fun, and use that extra money for their future?

I'm not being critical, it is your family and I totally get enjoying your kids succeed, and watching them grow and mature. But for me I don't want to have spent $250K for my kid to have just "played a sport" for 10 years.

definitely a good question... and something there is no definite answer for. For us... we are definitely not planning on raising quitters, so I would not just let either of my daughters quit because of the hard work, or the level of competition... but you also have to look at things rationally. Does your child really "have it"? I think this is where a lot of people go wrong... on one end you have parents pushing / forcing a kid to play... that unfortunately just doesn't have it at that level of competition. On the other end, you have parents that will let their kid just up and quit... and that kid has major potential. If you read about most pro athletes... they had a parent that really pushed them along the way, and that is where the rational thinking comes in...to whether you need give your kid that push or not. Fortunately for my case, they both still love soccer at this point and want to continue, it was their choice to play (we didn't pick the sport for them, neither my wife or I played soccer, the girls did a whole lotta "fun sports along the way gymnastics, dance, swimming etc, and this was the one they really clung to) they are 7 & 10 now BTW.

This is where the rational thinking for me comes in. My older daughter has the skills, has the speed, loves the game... but she just does not apply herself. Doesn't really "fight" for it. So we are definitely considering pulling her out of club and putting her into more of a rec league, because she still really wants to play soccer. This will be her second season of club... and the only reason I didn't switch her now is because she is a straight A (4's ) student, top reader in her class etc and she still really wanted to play for this club. So I told her if she keeps up the good work in school, that she gets another year... but if she doesn't turn it up and put in the effort... that next year we will just do a lower level of competition / more for fun soccer league. So I am currently playing that rational thinking role right now with my older daughter of does she just not have it? or does she need more push... the part that drives us crazy is that she has shown us that she has it (will play an amazing game) but then she just goes back to cruise control, 1/2 throttle for the next couple games. She is definitely more lazy by nature. We asked her if she wants to go back to swimming, or do anything else, and her answer is Soccer... so we will see.

Our only endgame at this point is for them to learn the hard work required to compete, to be competitive... how to work with a team etc ... keep them out of trouble through high school.... If anything happens with college, that would just be a bonus for us at this point.

 

[steak&lobster]

You know whats funny....I like baseball and it was my favorite sport growing up.

Now that I understand soccer I actually prefer it to watching baseball by a factor of about 100.

Baseball is so slow and boring...lol You can watch all the important highlights on espn in about 3 minutes

I may not like soccer but I have a lot of respect for all athletes of all sports that play hard

 

[steak&lobster]

definitely a good question... and something there is no definite answer for. For us... we are definitely not planning on raising quitters, so I would not just let either of my daughters quit because of the hard work, or the level of competition... but you also have to look at things rationally. Does your child really "have it"? I think this is where a lot of people go wrong... on one end you have parents pushing / forcing a kid to play... that unfortunately just doesn't have it at that level of competition. On the other end, you have parents that will let their kid just up and quit... and that kid has major potential. If you read about most pro athletes... they had a parent that really pushed them along the way, and that is where the rational thinking comes in...to whether you need give your kid that push or not. Fortunately for my case, they both still love soccer at this point and want to continue, it was their choice to play (we didn't pick the sport for them, neither my wife or I played soccer, the girls did a whole lotta "fun sports along the way gymnastics, dance, swimming etc, and this was the one they really clung to) they are 7 & 10 now BTW.

This is where the rational thinking for me comes in. My older daughter has the skills, has the speed, loves the game... but she just does not apply herself. Doesn't really "fight" for it. So we are definitely considering pulling her out of club and putting her into more of a rec league, because she still really wants to play soccer. This will be her second season of club... and the only reason I didn't switch her now is because she is a straight A (4's ) student, top reader in her class etc and she still really wanted to play for this club. So I told her if she keeps up the good work in school, that she gets another year... but if she doesn't turn it up and put in the effort... that next year we will just do a lower level of competition / more for fun soccer league. So I am currently playing that rational thinking role right now with my older daughter of does she just not have it? or does she need more push... the part that drives us crazy is that she has shown us that she has it (will play an amazing game) but then she just goes back to cruise control, 1/2 throttle for the next couple games. She is definitely more lazy by nature. We asked her if she wants to go back to swimming, or do anything else, and her answer is Soccer... so we will see.

Our only endgame at this point is for them to learn the hard work required to compete, to be competitive... how to work with a team etc ... keep them out of trouble through high school.... If anything happens with college, that would just be a bonus for us at this point.

You want to know why you can't get a "consistent effort or game" or "fight" for it out of her ??? Because she's 10
NOTHING sports wise really matters until puberty and after, these are kids right now.

 

[JD D05]

You want to know why you can't get a "consistent effort or game" or "fight" for it out of her ??? Because she's 10
NOTHING sports wise really matters until puberty and after, these are kids right now.

You need to meet my younger daughter! Since 7 if her team does not "hit" the routine she snaps. Same way at practice. It is also the kid, I know you knew a ton of guys in college that did not put much effort in.

 

[EmpirE231]

You want to know why you can't get a "consistent effort or game" or "fight" for it out of her ??? Because she's 10
NOTHING sports wise really matters until puberty and after, these are kids right now.

You need to meet my younger daughter! Since 7 if her team does not "hit" the routine she snaps. Same way at practice.

]

lol yeah... I didn't mention my younger daughter who is 7... who gives full effort, wants to win... can't wait for game day... looks like someone stole her puppy if they lose a game.

 

[Cole Trickle]

You want to know why you can't get a "consistent effort or game" or "fight" for it out of her ??? Because she's 10
NOTHING sports wise really matters until puberty and after, these are kids right now.

That's great advise and something I will remember going forward.

Seems so easy at our age but it's easy to forget that they are young people still trying to figure life out and dealing with all the same crap but in a different manner.

Easy to forget that a 10 year old can also have a bad/off day.

 

[steak&lobster]

You need to meet my younger daughter! Since 7 if her team does not "hit" the routine she snaps. Same way at practice. It is also the kid, I know you knew a ton of guys in college that did not put much effort in.

View attachment 750549

yah of course some do, but I wouldn't be concerned when some don't at an age of pre puberty

 

[LargeOrangeFont]

Based on this thread I just enrolled my daughter in youth club pharmaceutical sales. I think this will pan out.

 

[steak&lobster]

Based on this thread I just enrolled my daughter in youth club pharmaceutical sales. I think this will pan out.

my friend is in that biz and fucking rakes

 

[EmpirE231]

They probably would love racing competitively... but the $ spent on that, makes club sports look like a bargain lol

 

[Activated]

You know whats funny....I like baseball and it was my favorite sport growing up.

Now that I understand soccer I actually prefer it to watching baseball by a factor of about 100.

Baseball is so slow and boring...lol You can watch all the important highlights on espn in about 3 minutes

Blasphemy!!

 

[bowtiejunkie]

Short: If the money is there, I don't really see a problem. Below is my extended response.

Here's a fairly recent article on this topic that stuck with me when I read it in 2017: https://www.usatoday.com/story/mone...r-budgets-high-priced-youth-sports/571945001/

Based on just the statistics, unless your kid is something special your money is likely better invested and just pay college out of pocket. If you polled parents of club/competition sports, I doubt a majority would say they had their kid in it just for the hell of it. There's some end game other than to keep their kid busy or just for "fun". Yes, there are exceptions.

Some people chase the dream - either for the parents own ego or thinking their kid will "make it" or just because the kid shows/has an interest - and it never arrives, no matter how much money, effort, or time is expended. Maybe a scholarship results, maybe not. If you have the disposable income, then who cares about the cost. Just the small sampling here (and their collective "I knew so and so") shows kids who spend 10-12-14+ years grinding away at the same sport often burn out during high school or college.

The kid with natural talent, they could walk on in say freshman year of high school, excel at the top, maintain the fire through college, and if lucky, get into the pros. A kid with natural talent basically doesn't need a decade plus to perfect their craft.

My two daughters (8 & 9) have two dance classes each. Soccer through school, and the 9 year old did track & field this spring. I'd rather them try many things instead of just one. And frankly, we don't have the budget to do club/competition sports, and I'm not going broke for it. Am I a bad dad? To some, probably so. My 2 pennies worth of thoughts.

 

[LargeOrangeFont]

my friend is in that biz and fucking rakes

That and IT sales..

 

[Your ad here]

Anybody have kids that just play sports for fun? Not with the mindset it will get them through college but just to have fun? I keep seeing a repeating pattern in this thread. One thing I will confirm that I've read is if you push the kid to hard they will hate the sport when they are an adult.

 

[Bullet28]

I have 2 grandsons 11 and 9, currently they play in just a local league and ended up on the same team this year. For now they are content with this. When I mention boating they pack their bags so that’s pretty cool also. My son played through high school and was pretty good but after tearing up his knee it wasn’t the same. He’s 37 and not a lot of club ball back then if any.

 

[steak&lobster]

Anybody have kids that just play sports for fun? Not with the mindset it will get them through college but just to have fun? I keep seeing a repeating pattern in this thread. One thing I will confirm that I've read is if you push the kid to hard they will hate the sport when they are an adult.

You know what’s really fun??? Cashing a $300 million dollar check.


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