View from the other side.....

[V3NMOUS]

As many of you know, last year I was involved in a freak accident, which caused me to have to get two toes amputated, and about 4 months worth of IV antibotics, because of the infection (Osteomylitis) I had several bouts of infections, (MRSA) then had to go through several rounds of chemo because of pancreatic cancer. Since July of 2012, I have been in the hospital more than I have been out.
At one time I had the world by the balls. Great job, promising family, & the rest. What a difference 15 months can make. Due to all of the crap, I now have orthostatic hypo tension. Basically, when I stand up my B.P. drops to the floor, and I pass out. Since January of this year, my falls have resulted in a broken neck, broken hip, and some cracked vertebrae. At 43 years old I get to use a walker everywhere I go, & if I know I'm going to be upright for a while, I get the joy of using a wheelchair. When I go shopping, I have to use of those stupid motorized carts. Makes me feel a real winner. Obviously I struggle to drive. One of my true loves. I have had a hot-rod of some sort since I was 22. Can't even have the joy of a cruise anymore.
Obviously I struggle to work. It's a bitch to try & do anything when you're dizzy all the time. I had to suck up my pride & apply for food stamps. Nothing more humiliating. I have worked since I was 16. NEVER relied on the government for anything. Sitting in line with some of California's finest citizens, hearing about entitlements will make the strongest man retch. I have had to apply for permanent disability. Once again hard. For a guy that has worked for everything I've ever had, applying for benefits makes me feel like a loser. Not to mention the downgrade in lifestyle. My wife & I have a 5 year old, that is non-verbal autistic. What a burden she carries. Not only taking care of him, but my reliance on her is at an all time high. You never know how much you need someone, until you can't do shit for yourself.
My point is this, cherish your health. If you have that, then you have the world by the balls. Things change in an instant, and remember not everyone that is on food stamps/etc. want to be there. I would give anything I have (besides my wife & kids) to work, to contribute, to feel useful again.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

 

[Crazyhippy]

The system was built for you. The assholes taking advantage of it piss me off even more reading this.

And I'm going to speak for the rest of the inmates here... Vent away, we are all stuck in the asylum together.

 

[CampbellCarl]

Where are you these days? Del Taco deliveries might still be available.............

 

[napanutt]

Coming from a person that has taken so much in his life for granted I can so feel for you. Actually I can't. There have been quite a few times figuratively and literally in my life I shouldn't be here. Hoping not to thread jack but your story makes me, uh, ponder.

 

[ka0tyk]

i admire your strength and thank you for sharing your story. so many of us take for granted the simple things in life, like being able to walk, or even being able to work and how quickly those simple pleasures can be taken from us for no reason at all.

you might not able able to work, but i urge you to share your story with many as its one that can make EVERYONE take a moment to reflect and appreciate what they have. im sure in the brief moment you took to post this you touched many of us, including myself.

 

[DaytonaBabe]

I'm really at a loss for words. What I can say is that I am thankful to you for sharing your story so that we may all reflect on our own lives and realize what we take for granted. You and your family will be in my prayers... stay strong!









Posted from my Galaxy S3

 

[pronstar]

Damn, that's gut-wrenching to hear.

Refresh my memory...did it all start with BBQ coals or something like that on your foot?

 

[whiteworks]

Thats a tough deal for sure, given that situation I would not think twice about utilizing every option the system has to offer in this country. What line of work were you in prior to all of this happening? When I was younger I worked for a lady that had contracted polio as a child, she was wheel chair bound and only had slight use of one arm. She required 24 hour a day assistance, and was on her own in this world. She managed to put her mind to work, obtained a PHD and somehow went to work everyday with a smile on her face. She was in substantial pain all the time, but she some how managed to make shit happen. I was her driver for about a year, I would go to her house at 7:00 am every morning and pull her van out of the garage. The person who took care of her at night would get up at 4:30 in the morning with her to get her and everything prepared for the day. At that point I would get her loaded in the van and drive her into Los Angeles (1 hour+) to the LA County Museum of Art where she ran some programs for special needs kids to visit the museum. We would do art projects with the kids and take them around the museum. It was one of the best jobs I had ever had at the time, I was exposed to a different world for sure. The point I am getting at is that life isn't always what we expect or plan, however as long as your breathing you have to stay on point and keep pushing. Dr. Mary Martz showed me some things about life I will never forget, she was an inspiration and had a significant impact on a lot of peoples lives. She passed away a few years back at the age of 60, she made a difference in how I live my life. Its okay to have a pity party for a while, but dont stay down there to long. This is a time for you to reinvent yourself however difficult of a journey that may be it will keep you going. Sounds like you have some joy in your life with your wife and son, thats all that really matters. To top it off you have all us fucksticks on RDP to keep you laughing

 

[V3NMOUS]

Damn, that's guy-wrenching to hear.

Refresh my memory...did it all start with BBQ coals or something like that on your foot?

Yep, fourth of July 2012. Kids knocked over a little Weber Kettle, coals burned my feet.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

 

[V3NMOUS]

Thats a tough deal for sure, given that situation I would not think twice about utilizing every option the system has to offer in this country. What line of work were you in prior to all of this happening? When I was younger I worked for a lady that had contracted polio as a child, she was wheel chair bound and only had slight use of one arm. She required 24 hour a day assistance, and was on her own in this world. She managed to put her mind to work, obtained a PHD and somehow went to work everyday with a smile on her face. She was in substantial pain all the time, but she some how managed to make shit happen. I was her driver for about a year, I would go to her house at 7:00 am every morning and pull her van out of the garage. The person who took care of her at night would get up at 4:30 in the morning with her to get her and everything prepared for the day. At that point I would get her loaded in the van and drive her into Los Angeles (1 hour+) to the LA County Museum of Art where she ran some programs for special needs kids to visit the museum. We would do art projects with the kids and take them around the museum. It was one of the best jobs I had ever had at the time, I was exposed to a different world for sure. The point I am getting at is that life isn't always what we expect or plan, however as long as your breathing you have to stay on point and keep pushing. Dr. Mary Martz showed me some things about life I will never forget, she was an inspiration and had a significant impact on a lot of peoples lives. She passed away a few years back at the age of 60, she made a difference in how I live my life. Its okay to have a pity party for a while, but dont stay down there to long. This is a time for you to reinvent yourself however difficult of a journey that may be it will keep you going. Sounds like you have some joy in your life with your wife and son, thats all that really matters. To top it off you have all us fucksticks on RDP to keep you laughing

I have been in construction my entire career. Started as a laborer, moved my way up. I have done P.M. work, estimating, my last position I was the recruiter for a industrial contractor. I hired all of the craft personal, as well as made recommendations for superintendents/ GF's.
I am going to have to figure out what I can do. It's the dizziness that gets me. Scary as shit when you go to stand up, & just fall over. I am not quite sure how to attack that one.


Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

 

[h2o225]

As hard as it is to stay positive there is lots to be thankful for. I hope in time the body will heal keep the mind strong. In the mean time find lots of things to laugh about. If you find something funny your wife and kid will smile too.

 

[whiteworks]

I have been in construction my entire career. Started as a laborer, moved my way up. I have done P.M. work, estimating, my last position I was the recruiter for a industrial contractor. I hired all of the craft personal, as well as made recommendations for superintendents/ GF's.
I am going to have to figure out what I can do. It's the dizziness that gets me. Scary as shit when you go to stand up, & just fall over. I am not quite sure how to attack that one.


Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

I'd start by not standing up In all seriousness you have a lot going for you, just need to wrap your head around the situation and figure out how to work within your limitations and capabilities. What are the white coats saying about long term outlook on the dizziness?

 

[RogerThat99]

I am also at a loss for words, but I wanted to say something. I was just thinking about you a week or so ago and wondering how you were doing...I see you post, but was wondering how you were doing. Keep your chin up and you are always welcome to vent here.

 

[V3NMOUS]

I'd start by not standing up In all seriousness you have a lot going for you, just need to wrap your head around the situation and figure out how to work within your limitations and capabilities. What are the white coats saying about long term outlook on the dizziness?

That is a work in progress. We have been trying out different medications with little success.

I am also at a loss for words, but I wanted to say something. I was just thinking about you a week or so ago and wondering how you were doing...I see you post, but was wondering how you were doing. Keep your chin up and you are always welcome to vent here.

That RT99, your photos as well as PT's are awesome, and one of the things I look forward to the most.



Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

 

[RogerThat99]

That RT99, your photos as well as PT's are awesome, and one of the things I look forward to the most.

I will try to post pictures more frequently than I have been.

 

[Moneypit]

So sorry to hear of your misfortune. All to often, in love, and in life, we really don't know what we have until we lose it... Your story is a testament about that very subject and a real eyeopener... I sincerely hope that medical science comes through for you and you're able to return to some large portion of your previous life... Live with hope, sometime it's all we have...
Ray
PS Carl has offered taco Bell deliveries, I guess there is a history or story there. At the same time however, you have a huge family here of very caring and giving people, please don't hesitate to use it.

 

[Flyinbowtie]

I've had a little taste of what you are going through, and agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying. None of us know what the future holds for us, and your advice to live every moment and cherish every day is about as wise and honest as one human being can share with another.
Hang in there, I will pray for better days for you and yours.

 

[rrrr]

I've had a little taste of what you are going through, and agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying. None of us know what the future holds for us, and your advice to live every moment and cherish every day is about as wise and honest as one human being can share with another.
Hang in there, I will pray for better days for you and yours.

Yep, me too. Went from hard working fun guy to home bound unable to do much at all. Decided yesterday to sell my boat.

But it could be worse. I'm not gonna complain.

My prayers to the OP.

 

[YoPengo]

The system was built for you. The assholes taking advantage of it piss me off even more reading this.

And I'm going to speak for the rest of the inmates here... Vent away, we are all stuck in the asylum together.

Can't say it much better than this. :thumbup:

Well wishes for you and your family.

 

[MissB]

Venomous - like a lot of us here, I sat down this morning (thankful to be able to come to work in light of a government shutdown) and I can't imagine how hard it is for you.... BUT after reading this and Mike's post, you both have made me cry and be thankful for my health and family. My point it that someday, someone is going to have to help me, so vent away, rely on those around you for inspiration and help. As C.H. pointed out, take advantage of the system that is there for you. Make it work for you. You have come sooo incredibly far. I'm in no position to tell you you will be ok... but what I can say is don't settle, if something isn't working, get the fuck out and try a different approach. Email different Dr's, join forums for support groups that are dealing with your dizziness, push, push.. someone out there (even here on RDP) may just have the info you need! Keep going, you are so incredibly strong!!

 

[Outdrive1]

As many of you know, last year I was involved in a freak accident, which caused me to have to get two toes amputated, and about 4 months worth of IV antibotics, because of the infection (Osteomylitis) I had several bouts of infections, (MRSA) then had to go through several rounds of chemo because of pancreatic cancer. Since July of 2012, I have been in the hospital more than I have been out.
At one time I had the world by the balls. Great job, promising family, & the rest. What a difference 15 months can make. Due to all of the crap, I now have orthostatic hypo tension. Basically, when I stand up my B.P. drops to the floor, and I pass out. Since January of this year, my falls have resulted in a broken neck, broken hip, and some cracked vertebrae. At 43 years old I get to use a walker everywhere I go, & if I know I'm going to be upright for a while, I get the joy of using a wheelchair. When I go shopping, I have to use of those stupid motorized carts. Makes me feel a real winner. Obviously I struggle to drive. One of my true loves. I have had a hot-rod of some sort since I was 22. Can't even have the joy of a cruise anymore.
Obviously I struggle to work. It's a bitch to try & do anything when you're dizzy all the time. I had to suck up my pride & apply for food stamps. Nothing more humiliating. I have worked since I was 16. NEVER relied on the government for anything. Sitting in line with some of California's finest citizens, hearing about entitlements will make the strongest man retch. I have had to apply for permanent disability. Once again hard. For a guy that has worked for everything I've ever had, applying for benefits makes me feel like a loser. Not to mention the downgrade in lifestyle. My wife & I have a 5 year old, that is non-verbal autistic. What a burden she carries. Not only taking care of him, but my reliance on her is at an all time high. You never know how much you need someone, until you can't do shit for yourself.
My point is this, cherish your health. If you have that, then you have the world by the balls. Things change in an instant, and remember not everyone that is on food stamps/etc. want to be there. I would give anything I have (besides my wife & kids) to work, to contribute, to feel useful again.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

Hang in there. Your wife and kids need you too.

 

[CampbellCarl]

Ray, the Del Taco story goes back to his first stint in the hospital from the burns and IV meds. He posted that he was tired of the hospital food and had no restrictions from the Docs with regard to food. I asked him what he craved and it was Del Taco so I stopped there and brought a half dozen tacos and half dozen burritos to LaMirada Hospital one Saturday at noon.

My first meet with him......seems like eons ago.

CC

 

[RiverDave]

I have been in construction my entire career. Started as a laborer, moved my way up. I have done P.M. work, estimating, my last position I was the recruiter for a industrial contractor. I hired all of the craft personal, as well as made recommendations for superintendents/ GF's.
I am going to have to figure out what I can do. It's the dizziness that gets me. Scary as shit when you go to stand up, & just fall over. I am not quite sure how to attack that one.


Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

That was a tough read for sure, and I'm very sorry to hear it. All that over some coals and a BBQ on the 4th of July almost seems surreal.

As Dylan alluded too even though you've been deal a real shitty hand you are still in the game. Might be time to start leaning about computers / web / programming / coding, anything that isn't physical but relies primarily on mental / keyboard. I have faith that even as shitty as this deal is you will bootstrap it up and again have the world by the balls.

RD

 

[Buoy]

You're not alone.
I am in nearly the exact same situation.
July 20, 2011 I had a massive stroke.
40 yrs old. 5'11, 160. Blood pressure got out of hand.
Had just moved into my dream house, had a good job, etc.
Now, I only have about 50% usage of my right side. I can walk with a cane, but not very quickly, and not very long/far.
I don't have the dizzy problem, but my balance is off. I've fallen several times - broken foot, broken arm, right now my knee is jacked up from a fall Mon. night.
Yep, lots of wheelchair time. I don't know if I could even get in a boat again due to my balance.
Driving is possible, but only local. I used to love driving. Now, I can't control my right arm to change the radio or turn on the A/C.

I feel the same about the disability check as you do. It took alot of people to convince me that my situation is exactly why there is disability.
I would give anything to go back to work (I was also in Construction Mgmt). But, I get tired quickly.

PM me if you ever want to bend an ear with someone that truly does understand what you're going through.

 

[mbrown2]

Venom/Buoy,

Stories like these put things in perspective and kick start those who take things for granted. I wish you guys all prayers in the world that your physical state improves.... I don't have magic advice except to try and do the things that maintain positive energy, sometimes these are groups that may be going through the same challenges, therapy, supporting emotionally other members of the family on their own accomplishments....positive energy has amazing powers and can change one's perspective on everyday life.

 

[Mrs.HLB]

I am sorry to hear of the health issues you both are having. I am on the other side, the wife. My husband was diagnosed with Crohns at 39, its a chronic digestive disease. He is not working at the moment. It was difficult at first and once in a while it still is. He is on meds, have had multiple hospital/ER visits, therapist etc. It is a major lifestyle change. Financially and emotionally draining. I try to help in any way I can and keep his spirits up. Ego plays a big part in all this for a man. He is supposed to be the bread winner etc.. I hope you let those that want to help in and take some stress away. Fight for what you have worked for and earned. Slowly it will all work out. Keep your head up and don't worry about what others have to say. Your health is your number 1 priority, without it we are nothing.

If you need to talk please don't hestitate..
Mrs.HLB

 

[V3NMOUS]

My wife is my strength. Without her, I would have eaten a bullet long ago. I have always been the provider for my family. Heck I was always the guy that picked up the tab. Dinners, drinks, limo to the concert, no problem, my treat. I hurts not to be able to do nice things for her, when she works so hard for me. I used to take my wife to Pasadena once every quarter, when I would get my bonus. Shopping trip at Tiffany's, dinner at a nice restaurant, you know, a "thank you" for her effort. I wish I could just take her out to dinner now. She has been a stud through out all of this. I draw lots of inspiration from her strength & resolve.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

 

[Mrs.HLB]

My wife is my strength. Without her, I would have eaten a bullet long ago. I have always been the provider for my family. Heck I was always the guy that picked up the tab. Dinners, drinks, limo to the concert, no problem, my treat. I hurts not to be able to do nice things for her, when she works so hard for me. I used to take my wife to Pasadena once every quarter, when I would get my bonus. Shopping trip at Tiffany's, dinner at a nice restaurant, you know, a "thank you" for her effort. I wish I could just take her out to dinner now. She has been a stud through out all of this. I draw lots of inspiration from her strength & resolve.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

I understand completely! Be there for her because she will have some tough times. Material stuff will come and go, it is the love and appreciation you show her. Do what you can and that's all we ask for. Good luck to you! Prayers to you and your family!

 

[Flyinbowtie]

My wife is my strength. Without her, I would have eaten a bullet long ago. I have always been the provider for my family. Heck I was always the guy that picked up the tab. Dinners, drinks, limo to the concert, no problem, my treat. I hurts not to be able to do nice things for her, when she works so hard for me. I used to take my wife to Pasadena once every quarter, when I would get my bonus. Shopping trip at Tiffany's, dinner at a nice restaurant, you know, a "thank you" for her effort. I wish I could just take her out to dinner now. She has been a stud through out all of this. I draw lots of inspiration from her strength & resolve.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

My wife is my inspiration too.
Let me share some stuff with you...and Buoy...
I went from senior Sergeant at the dept, #1 on the list to promote to Lt. and beyond to out the door and no key anymore.
I was 47 when it started and 48 when the doc told me he could slow the progression of the disease in my spine, but that my career was over, and I'd never work again.
I cried when he told me that. The first time I cried for myself since my Dad died.
When you go from the major breadwinner to can't even lift a gallon of milk for 6 months it messes with your head.
When you go from the guy who cuts, splits and stacks 3 chords of firewood a year to the guy that buys it, it messes with your head..
I could go on, but you are living it too so you know exactly what I am talking about.
Here is what it was for me.
At the end of all of it, it took me about a year to decide I had value as a person still.
There is a ton, and I mean a ton, of stuff that goes through your mind as you try to discover just who the heck you are again...because it changes.
About the time I came out the other side of that "black hole" I had a minor heart attack. 1 stint in my heart.
A warning...too much stress in my life...yeah no kidding. Fighting for SSI Disability, they make you feel worse than you already do having to apply for it. But, like my attorney said, "Jeff you started paying into SSD/SSDI when you were 12 years old according to the records we have...and you paid every year from the time you were 12 until you were 49. You gave your physical health in the line of duty, you earned it. You are why the system exists, you are who it is for. I understand your pride, but set it aside"
When I got home from the hospital from that Stint, there was a phone message from another dr.
Short story...colorectal cancer.
Back into the black hole I went...wondering which was going to kill me first.
This is when I learned to pray again, and put that part of my life back where it needed to be.
It took me a couple of years, but I am cancer-free, and I have found my place in life again. Yeah, I overdo it all the time. I pay for it with a couple of days where I can't move. It happens more often now.
My back is getting worse, deteriorating more.
But I am gonna go on living. I am here for a reason, I have family that loves me and two grandchildren (so far) that I want to see grow up and I am going to do everything I can to be here...to LIVE, to make that happen.
When I was in the deep part of the black hole RDP was a blessing.
Coming here and seeing other people living their lives helped me reconnect with the world.
You are here for a reason too. I found mine, and while my career was not just what I did, it was who I was I have managed to find out there is another me, and I have things to do. I just have to learn new ways to get them done, and yep, sometimes I need help.
You will too.

 

[Buoy]

Mrs. HLB, FBT, and V3nemous...
Thank you.
I need to reply, but not right now.
Digesting.
And spending a bit of time with my wife.
I'm glad this place is here, with good people that understand.
Thanks.

 

[Wakker]

V3NEMOUS,

If you are ever feeling down, or bored, just need out of the house you are always welcome to come hang out at the shop here. Plenty of cool stuff to mess with :thumbup:

Just give me a call..

714 732 7887

 

[V3NMOUS]

You know Greg, I'm gonna take you up on that. I love cars, in particular Mustangs. It would do me a ton of good just to talk cars with someone. Be expecting a call when I get out of the hospital.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

 

[brendellajet]

Don't underestimate the power of prayer and positive thought. Also, read up on your condition. There is so much information out there. Doctors don't know everything, and while there is some I formation sharing within the medical community, its not good enough. Information truly is power.

Every once in a while life throws a curveball. Your outlook and state of mind determine how hard you can hit it. Stay focused on your goals and the things that matter and you will get the most of your situation.

 

[Buoy]

I am sorry to hear of the health issues you both are having. I am on the other side, the wife. My husband was diagnosed with Crohns at 39, its a chronic digestive disease. He is not working at the moment. It was difficult at first and once in a while it still is. He is on meds, have had multiple hospital/ER visits, therapist etc. It is a major lifestyle change. Financially and emotionally draining. I try to help in any way I can and keep his spirits up. Ego plays a big part in all this for a man. He is supposed to be the bread winner etc.. I hope you let those that want to help in and take some stress away. Fight for what you have worked for and earned. Slowly it will all work out. Keep your head up and don't worry about what others have to say. Your health is your number 1 priority, without it we are nothing.

If you need to talk please don't hestitate..
Mrs.HLB

I know how hard it must be for you. I see what my wife goes through to help me with things that I used to just "get done". You don't know what it feels like to see her changing furnace filters and ceiling lightbulbs, only because I couldn't possibly climb a step-ladder. This from a guy that used to be a Carpenter rolling trusses on a 2-3 story house...
She spent 2 mos. working in Minnesota, and had to come home for an emergency weekend because I fell and needed to get to the Dr. (I live in the desert, and don't really have neighbors or any close friends out here). I know the toll it must take on her - as well as the worrying she has when she's gone.
I'm sure your Husband knows this about you Mrs. HLB, and is appreciative of all you do.

My wife is my strength. Without her, I would have eaten a bullet long ago. I have always been the provider for my family. Heck I was always the guy that picked up the tab. Dinners, drinks, limo to the concert, no problem, my treat. I hurts not to be able to do nice things for her, when she works so hard for me. I used to take my wife to Pasadena once every quarter, when I would get my bonus. Shopping trip at Tiffany's, dinner at a nice restaurant, you know, a "thank you" for her effort. I wish I could just take her out to dinner now. She has been a stud through out all of this. I draw lots of inspiration from her strength & resolve.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

How true. At times, the only reason I didn't was because the pain I would put her through. She deserves better than that, and I need to be strong for her.
I also want to say, I don't mean to jump into your thread, but wanted to let you know you're not alone. I truly understand what you're going through, my situation is quite similar

My wife is my inspiration too.
Let me share some stuff with you...and Buoy...
I went from senior Sergeant at the dept, #1 on the list to promote to Lt. and beyond to out the door and no key anymore.
I was 47 when it started and 48 when the doc told me he could slow the progression of the disease in my spine, but that my career was over, and I'd never work again.
I cried when he told me that. The first time I cried for myself since my Dad died.
When you go from the major breadwinner to can't even lift a gallon of milk for 6 months it messes with your head.
When you go from the guy who cuts, splits and stacks 3 chords of firewood a year to the guy that buys it, it messes with your head..
I could go on, but you are living it too so you know exactly what I am talking about.
Here is what it was for me.
At the end of all of it, it took me about a year to decide I had value as a person still.
There is a ton, and I mean a ton, of stuff that goes through your mind as you try to discover just who the heck you are again...because it changes.
About the time I came out the other side of that "black hole" I had a minor heart attack. 1 stint in my heart.
A warning...too much stress in my life...yeah no kidding. Fighting for SSI Disability, they make you feel worse than you already do having to apply for it. But, like my attorney said, "Jeff you started paying into SSD/SSDI when you were 12 years old according to the records we have...and you paid every year from the time you were 12 until you were 49. You gave your physical health in the line of duty, you earned it. You are why the system exists, you are who it is for. I understand your pride, but set it aside"
When I got home from the hospital from that Stint, there was a phone message from another dr.
Short story...colorectal cancer.
Back into the black hole I went...wondering which was going to kill me first.
This is when I learned to pray again, and put that part of my life back where it needed to be.
It took me a couple of years, but I am cancer-free, and I have found my place in life again. Yeah, I overdo it all the time. I pay for it with a couple of days where I can't move. It happens more often now.
My back is getting worse, deteriorating more.
But I am gonna go on living. I am here for a reason, I have family that loves me and two grandchildren (so far) that I want to see grow up and I am going to do everything I can to be here...to LIVE, to make that happen.
When I was in the deep part of the black hole RDP was a blessing.
Coming here and seeing other people living their lives helped me reconnect with the world.
You are here for a reason too. I found mine, and while my career was not just what I did, it was who I was I have managed to find out there is another me, and I have things to do. I just have to learn new ways to get them done, and yep, sometimes I need help.
You will too.

FBT - you certainly captured how I feel, and many of the things I'm going through.
i.e. I'm hiring people to do things that I would have done myself, and then pissed because they didn't do it the way I would have...
I've seen many of your posts, and your words always hit right in that "spot".

Thanks to all 3 of you.

 

[V3NMOUS]

Buoy, please don't think that you did anything to this thread. I am so happy that others have shared their stories. It is hard feeling like you are the only person experiencing something. So nice to know that I'm not alone.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Buoy]

One thing that I'm sick of hearing, from people that have no idea:
"I saw someone on TV that was walking/running, living a normal life"

Well, yeah, I can do that too for 60 seconds on a TV clip...
And then I'm spent for the rest of the day.
And, any of those fuckers that abuse/don't even have a handicap parking pass but use the spots anyway. It really helps me getting out to be able to park close.
They don't realize.

I must admit, if you ask for help, or someone see's me struggling, someone usually helps. It has given me a bit of faith in humanity.

 

[V3NMOUS]

No kidding. I also get real tired of hearing "It's 90% mental." No fucker it's not. If that were in any way true, I would have been better 14 months ago.
Had to come back to the hospital, I fell again yesterday. Hip is swollen. I have already had pins put in this side, so I am hoping I haven't done anything too damaging. Lol, I fucking hate being sick.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

 

[Wakker]

You know Greg, I'm gonna take you up on that. I love cars, in particular Mustangs. It would do me a ton of good just to talk cars with someone. Be expecting a call when I get out of the hospital.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

Looking forward to it :thumbup:

 

[DrHW]

V3Nmous does not sound like he is looking for a pity party by any stretch of the imagination. He is looking to stabilize his health issues and wants to be able to stand on his own two feet, literally . The combination of Chemo and severe infections has thrown him for a loop. First things first. Be patient with yourself and the Medical community. It will get better.

The SSDI is now built to screen the 1% that would abuse the system so the truly ill are made to feel like they are begging for money. Wrong. As others have said, "you worked and you paid" and it was designed to help those that are no able to work. Men form their identity from their work and as we can see that one key illness can lead to additional health issues due to stress and depression.

Take stock in what you do have and from the people that love and care about you. Prayer and faith is a wonderful thing for the mind and body. Not an easy thing to talk about but I think there is some comfort knowing that you are not the only one facing difficult challenges.

God bless all of those that have shared and vented in this thread. What I get out of it is the love of Family that makes it bearable to face each day.

 

[poncho]

FBT, and V3nemous and Bouy and any one else I am missing.

I am a 50 year old fisherman that has broken 13 major bones and injured most of my internal organs at one time or another, I have a lucky star for sure.

I have always looked up and asked why I get a pass.

FBT, I was engaged to a LEO in my 20's, her and the extended family would have been you're friends....Shit ton of class.

I saw this post when it first hit and tried to stay away.

Venom, if I ever find a lantern on a beach you will be my first wish. I lost some one I called my Brother when life went sideways in a similar fashion, you're wife is my hero.

 

[Outnumbered]

Was looking to see how you (V3NMOUS) were doing and found this thread. It really tears me up to read about this stuff. I think about you and pray for you a lot. I know how you feel and I am feeling many of the same things, even though I don't feel I have it as rough as you have. I have not worked in 3 months and it feels so weird. Feel worthless at times etc. But I have been staying strong and positive with the help of my family, friends, and God. If you have not really considered it, finding a church you like would help you tremendously. I hope I'm not overstepping but I am just relaying what has helped me stay positive. It may sound weird but after you really commit your life to Christ you will start to see some wonderful things happen that you know are in no way coincidences.

Another thing is that I am working on starting some type of internet based business with the help of my two teenage daughters. I have found this to be extremely motivating and I hope it can also help fill our large income gap at some point. It has given me some motivation to do something meaningful and productive.

I am inspired by your perseverance and I am looking forward to seeing you make it through this. Feel free to call me any time if you like if you need to vent or talk about anything. I'll PM you my number.

John

 

[Outnumbered]

Bump. Has anyone heard from V? I sent a PM but didn't hear back.

I think and pray for you daily buddy. Hang in there and call me any time.