Things your kids say that you never forget.....

[2FORCEFULL]

So I asked my Son.. "what did you do at school today?"... his reply " We ate the doctor pussy"...Shocked, I had to know more about what he was say'n.. so I asked..where did you get it.... he said... everyone had to bring a weenie , the teacher put them on the doctor pussy and we got to eat it....of corse he was try'n to say octopus.... but amagine how that sound coming from a 4 yr old that was in a christen school...

kids grow so quick...spend every moment you can with them...

 

[DILLIGAF]

LOL....My son has said quite a few doosies along the way as well.

 

[c_land]

 

[HSR]

My kid’s after school program had root beer floats one day. He told the person serving them, “no thanks, I don’t like beer. I’ll just have the ice cream please.”

 

[rivermobster]

I love my son...

When he was a kid, we were standing in line at Vons. In the magazine rack, there is one of those Time/Life books titled "The Brain". Under the main title it lists the covered subjects, and one of em is How Your Memory Works.

I'm interested now...

So I pick it up and start thumbing through the pages. My son looks at me, calm as can be and says....

Dad. You Know you have no need for that book, right?

I look at him and start cracking up, as does everyone else in line that heard him!

Little fucker. I don't know where he learned to be such a smart azz!

 

[ka0tyk]

when my daughter said "girls cant do that, only boys can..."

 

[Motor Boater]

I have a million of these:

We are in church one time and my son points the organ player in the balcony and says “dad, is that guy god?”

He also tells everyone that it’s called Turch and that’s why there is a big “t” on the building.

Once we were watching karate kid 2 and the big fight scene at the end when they were in Japan. My son says “I’m never going to China, those people mean. I hate China, except for that delishious white rice.”

 

[Rajobigguy]

When my daughter was about 4 we were eating at Criss & Pitts and she had ordered the BBQ chicken. She looked like she was struggling, trying to eat it with a knife and fork so I asked her if she would like me to strip the meat from the bone for her. She just looked at me with a confused look on her face and said " but I like the meat".

 

[Xring01]

When my daughter was about 8 or 9 years old.....

She came up to my wife and I, put her finger up to my wifes nose.... stated "Smell my finger"...

Me being me, I cracked the f#$* up... so does my wife... So explained to her thats not a good thing to say, but the fact we cracked up, she kept it up for years... to get a reaction out of us...

Finally when she was about 16, I explained to her what that actually could me... She turned all kinds of red...

 

[liquid addiction]

When our son was in kindergarten, we got a phone call from his teacher. She told us that he pinched a girls butt. I explained to him that he could not do that at school. Then I asked him, where did you learn that? He looked up at me and said, "from you". OOOPS

 

[QC22]

Long Story. Life from a 3 1/2 year old's perspective

April 1992, the day the L.A. Riots broke out. My now 30 year old was 3 and a half. We went to the Dodger game that night. It was bat night, and the riots weren't the big deal they would become. We drove to the stadium with little traffic and no indication of what was to come. So I had played up the bat night thing some, and my son was disappointed when they gave us vouchers to get bats at Target. That was early, and not in my mind, and I had forgotten about the verdict etc. when we left. I'm still kinda pizzed at the Dodgers, and even Vin Scully, for not mentioning that the Riots were now full blown. We come out of the parking lot via Stadium Way and I jump on the 110 (11) South and take the 101/5/10/60 ramp East through Downtown. As I come around the ramp, the F'n freeway had people running around, palm trees on fire, people chucking shit etc. And then it hit me "oh shit!". Of course the kid started asking questions, and I told him that people were angry. He turns to me and says, totally upbeat, "'cuz they didn't get to get their bats?" I'll never forget it. Riots in the mind of a 3 and half year old.

 

[Xring01]

My Bro in Law and Sister, have many grandsons, from 2-13 years old.. and he is always messing with them...

Anyway, my neice gets a call from her sons "Colt" first grade school teacher, wanting to know what Indian Tribe they have lineage they are from... Teacher explains that Colt must be confused, he must be part Navajo, but he keeps say Slapaho?

So my neice, asks her dad, who cracks up... I was messing with him, and told him we are part of the Slap A Ho Tribe.....

 

[Englewood]

My son is 8 so im still living his hilarious comments. When he was 6 he said he might have a crush on his buddies girl. I told him that wasn't a good idea. he responded with "Ya, cause then she'd be a homie hopper". I laughed so hard i had tears, wife didnt have the same reaction.

 

[Constant840]

Kids are great. My daughter amazes me everyday with the insght and humor she has for a 9 year old.

My big worry... everyday... are the things I say that she will never forget.

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

I remember taking my nephew to Vons with my dad. We are getting a couple cans of soup and the couple next to us are speaking in Mandarin. My nephew looks up to my dad and yells "Papa, they're speaking Spanish!" I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at something so silly.

 

[COCA COLA COWBOY]

When driving into town there is a gun shop and a smoking shop. At an early age (3ish) we would drive into town and he would always say "Smoking and Guns!" Just funny when a little child says it.

 

[ElAzul]

My little guy LOVED chicken vaginas= chicken fajitas. No matter how hard we tried to help him say it slowly and pronounce it he always belted out with loud, perfectly articulated "speaking to the room" type voice.....chicken vaginas

 

[2Driver]

Son, 10 years old as we are driving past a big adult store in Phoenix:

Dad, is that one of those condiment stores?

 

[j21black]

Well - Mines a little older and this is the most recent memory that came to mind.

Son turned 13 back in March - Brother and his new girlfriend stopped to say the night on the way to Florida a month or so later.

Brother (who was a little intoxicated) asked my son if he wanted to have a wheelie riding contest on his dirt bike which my son clearly wins. Brother a little pissed from losing asks, well you want to have a wiener measuring contest now? - My son without missing a beat replies - "Are you ready to lose again" Yep that's my kid....

 

[BONER]

My 10yr old Stepson yelled at my Lab and called him a "Goddamn Hadji".

Funny, but inappropriate as shit....

 

[cofooter]

When my daughter was about 8, she walked up to my MIL on the couch before we were supposed to leave for dinner and said "www. get off the couch Grandma.com", that came out of nowhere, it was funny at the time, like 18yrs ago.

 

[Motor Boater]

When my son was 5 or 6 he was sitting in my lap at the house and he asked where his mother was. I said I don’t know I think she’s out running errands. He says “you should call her and say Where the fuck are you?”. I about fell out of my chair. I asked him where he heard that word and he says “remember when we rented that boat in California and we waited forever for mom at the dock. You called her and said where the fuck are you?”

 

[franky]

And now I get to hear it from my grandkids......priceless

 

[Gelcoater]

Golden Sheeps Stick.
Say it a couple times fast

 

[LHC Kirby]

Son 35 years ago in line at grocery store.... “dad that lady has big boobs”
My response after looking (not my first look) “yes Randy she does” the lady was bright red but giggling.

3 year old granddaughter as I walked past her, I said some smartass remark .... she takes both hands and drops them heavily on her Minnie Mouse table and says “Ampa - sometimes I just don’t understand you” I literally cried laughing for 5 minutes.

 

[78Southwind]

Our daughter was about 6 years old when her nana my wife mother pasted away , I still think about what she said that day. We went to the funeral home to get nana ashes to bring to National Cemetery in Riverside to placed next to her husband as my wife was carrying the urn our daughter asked to hold the urn she sat down in a chair in the lobby and very carefully held the urn she look at both standing there with a tear in her eye said "Just think after all the years of nana holding me now I am holding her " .

This reminds me of when I was about five or six years old. My parents are in the funeral business and once in a while my Dad would spread ashes for some of his Funeral Director friends. He really did it for the love of flying more than anything else since this wasn't his primary business. I think it might have paid for the fuel of that days trip probably not much more. If I went with my father, he would usually have me hold the ashes which were rolled up in paper while he was taking off. This one-time, while he was running down the runway, I kept saying Dad over and over again. He said son I am trying to take off. Once we got in the air, I said but Dad the people are coming out. I guess, at the time I didn't know to call them ashes.

 

[lbhsbz]

One of my favorites from my boy

Me: you need a hair cut

boy: no, I like long hair

Me: with long hair, you’ll look like a girl

Him: no, I look like a rockstar


He was almost 3 at the time