The complete list of what's gay in boating....

[Chili Palmer]

A lot of "SeaDooers" on that list! Lol

'Cause seadooers are gay.

 

[Richard.E]

When people come on the boat and decide that reading a book/napping or looking at their phone, as well as not getting in the water is the best way to spend a day on the Lake.

Usually just a few of my sisters do this, but I understand it's a vacation, but we should be spending time together making memories. You can do all of that at home!!

 

[CoolCruzin]

Wow , I thought this was going to be a great thread .
This thread is gay. And to read the whole thing was gay.

 

[gqchris]

people that don't get want they want cause they are too worry about what is cool or what someone else thinks..

i got balls enought to walk the channel in a G string made of a black tube sock and the raw hyde string off my old work boot,...


and those of you that think its gay and wanna blow me..... dream on suckers....

Amen Brotha!

 

[Vegaskeith]

Wow , I thought this was going to be a great thread .
This thread is gay. And to read the whole thing was gay.

LOL!

 

[Mini Kat]

Guys that pull up next to you in the channel talking crap about your boat all day saying theirs is better, then you fire up the real motor in your boat and now they want to be friends..:skull

Did they have Black Socks on when they we're talking crap?

 

[Meaney77]

I am surprised nobody has mentioned Tevas and how fucking gay they are regardless of functional they might be....

 

[Racey]

socks with flip flops of any kind.....GAY

I think that applies anytime, not just when talking about boating :thumbup:

 

[Hammer]

35 MPH speed limit lakes.
The 5 MPH zone down by the Bluewater Casino in Parker. (needs to be shortened)
The new Quagga mussel sticker in CA.

 

[B-RAD77]

How about a few years ago: at Windsor ramp big bad ass Cat with two huge motors, wife/girlfriend that could not drive the boat drifting damn near hitting my wife in my boat. To the point of a scrape in my skeg and a ding in my prop. Then loads that big ass cat on a trailer pulled by a little Nissan pickup that didn't have enough power to pull the boat up the ramp he was stuck on the ramp for as long as it took to wipe down my boat.
If you know this guy tell him he owes me $200 for the prop ding repair
I think he had black socks

 

[wishiknew]

Hey now.

LOL LOL LOL

 

[wishiknew]

people that don't get want they want cause they are too worry about what is cool or what someone else thinks..

i got balls enought to walk the channel in a G string made of a black tube sock and the raw hyde string off my old work boot,...


and those of you that think its gay and wanna blow me..... dream on suckers....

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!

 

[Vegaskeith]

Guys that have a boat and use it once a year!

 

[wishiknew]

Gay Boating Stuff:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
8. People that don't pick up after their dogs on the beaches.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SJP]

A lot of what is in this thread can be attributed to the Rivertrosexual movement. It starts at the river and havasu and slowly makes it way back east.

 

[milkmoney]

people that don't get want they want cause they are too worry about what is cool or what someone else thinks..

i got balls enought to walk the channel in a G string made of a black tube sock and the raw hyde string off my old work boot,...
and those of you that think its gay and wanna blow me..... dream on suckers....

Lol ur such a stud Steve.

 

[2FORCEFULL]

Lol ur such a stud Steve.

damn,.... didn't think I drank "THAT" much.....lol..:rolleyes

 

[rivergames]

Anyone drop bimini tops on HP boats yet?

 

[K-DOG]

Here is my list:

- Guys rubbing sunscreen on each other. Go ask a chick or why do you think they invented the spray stuff? I would rather get burned.
- Guys drinking Michelob Ultra
- 2 guys riding together on a jet ski
- Aquasocks, crocs, and wearing sandals with socks
- I 2nd the CA quagga mussel sticker. Very gay!

 

[Guest]

Here is my list:

- I would rather get burned.
-

:eek

 

[LowRiver2]

And guys that don't know how to back up a trailer

Add to that any guy that hasn't taught his wife how to back up a trailer.....:thumbsup

 

[Rivertoys]

Add to that any guy that hasn't taught his wife how to back up a trailer.....:thumbsup

doh, I just made the list... again.... Many many years ago I gave my wife a choice, and she chose to take the boat. Her skills as a boat driver actually come in quite handy though, esp since she doens't drink!

 

[2FORCEFULL]

so far no one has figured it out yet,,...chin nuts are gay as fuk..... chest nuts are considered festive....

trib'n is cool... trip'n anit

 

[ka0tyk]

damn the little alignment things on a trailer are ghey? i need em because my boat sits between the fenders and its easier to just pull the boat out of the water myself than stick my fingers inbetween the boat and fender and yell at the wife at the ramp.

 

[LowRiver2]

doh, I just made the list... again.... Many many years ago I gave my wife a choice, and she chose to take the boat. Her skills as a boat driver actually come in quite handy though, esp since she doens't drink!

LOL,

hey, if she prefers the boat, all good, just a good thing if an emergency arises and she has to get the trailer....


I've had to back down trailers for a few folks' girlfriends, wives over the years to keep the lines moving at the marina and Windsor, sure many others have too

 

[Rivertoys]

damn the little alignment things on a trailer are ghey? i need em because my boat sits between the fenders and its easier to just pull the boat out of the water myself than stick my fingers inbetween the boat and fender and yell at the wife at the ramp.

The first time I heard they were gay, I was told that by a guy that had them..... he said, "I know these are considered by gay by everyone, but they really help when working alone." Before that, I didn't know myself.

 

[2FORCEFULL]

doh, I just made the list... again.... Many many years ago I gave my wife a choice, and she chose to take the boat. Her skills as a boat driver actually come in quite handy though, esp since she doens't drink!

same hear... I figured it was more gentilman like to go fetch the trunk in 140 degree temp....

and yes.... some women can back the trailer in,.... but.... sure are alot that can't pull out of the parking spot with out fuk'n up the truck next to them or the trailer...and of corse they just keep on going like it never happened....one lady that I said ... you gonna fix that trailer you just hit, said .... please let me go, and don't tell my husband, he will beat the fuc out of both of us...

I let her drive of and went and got the wranger.... figured it was his job to get an ass whoop'n ... notmine

 

[Yellowboat]

LOL,

hey, if she prefers the boat, all good, just a good thing if an emergency arises and she has to get the trailer....


I've had to back down trailers for a few folks' girlfriends, wives over the years to keep the lines moving at the marina and Windsor, sure many others have too

I have done it for men too. It really is easy, if you take your time and make your corrections small

 

[Rivertoys]

same hear... I figured it was more gentilman like to go fetch the trunk in 140 degree temp....

I asked my wife one time, why she chose the boat when most of our friends wives do the trailer. She said she didn't want to walk through the hot parking lot. :eek

 

[ka0tyk]

The first time I heard they were gay, I was told that by a guy that had them..... he said, "I know these are considered by gay by everyone, but they really help when working alone." Before that, I didn't know myself.

i figured i was doing the world a favor by getting in/out of the launch ramp as quickly as possible without yelling "NO NO STOP STOP ITS ON THE FENDER WOMAN!" she thinks when i say "go" that its like the xmas tree in the quarter mile is at the 2nd yellow and floors it.

 

[LowRiver2]

I asked my wife one time, why she chose the boat when most of our friends wives do the trailer. She said she didn't want to walk through the hot parking lot. :eek

You and 2FF don't realize:

I either launch at the Rock house on Ca. side of Parker=75 foot walk

My pad at River Reflections= 20 feet to golf cart-100 yards to truck in my garage

One of the advantages of the strip

She hates idling the Daytona and the Tritoon, but can do it, but she prefers the truck

(she started backing up sea doo trailers at 12 with a quad at River Reflections, moved on up to skid steers/F550's, 30 ft. TAG toyhaulers, even had her back our Kenworth low bed up once to prove a point)

 

[aka619er]

Burning more than 20 gallons of fuel on the water during the weekend. Yep GAY

Outboards rule........

 

[Rivertoys]

Burning more than 20 gallons of fuel on the water during the weekend. Yep GAY

Outboards rule........

Yeah.... spoken like every Prius owner I know.... oint

 

[2FORCEFULL]

You and 2FF don't realize:

I either launch at the Rock house on Ca. side of Parker=75 foot walk

My pad at River Reflections= 20 feet to golf cart-100 yards to truck in my garage

One of the advantages of the strip

She hates idling the Daytona and the Tritoon, but can do it, but she prefers the truck

(she started backing up sea doo trailers at 12 with a quad at River Reflections, moved on up to skid steers/F550's, 30 ft. TAG toyhaulers, even had her back our Kenworth low bed up once to prove a point)

my wife backs up to my shlong....i pull out when shes done......point madewhat ever works....

 

[2FORCEFULL]

Burning more than 20 gallons of fuel on the water during the weekend. Yep GAY

Outboards rule........

don't forget the 20 gls of oil... the factor of having to take 3 boats to bring family and friends...
of corse , unless it's just a sausage fest.....

 

[2FORCEFULL]

I asked my wife one time, why she chose the boat when most of our friends wives do the trailer. She said she didn't want to walk through the hot parking lot. :eek

it is kinda cool though when a 20 something yr old in a dripp'n wet g string hollers to you,"hey mister!! can you jump me, I got cables""

 

[aka619er]

Yeah.... spoken like every Prius owner I know.... oint

Shit. I walked head first into that one.

 

[RiverDave]

I read the list of "gay" things..

I don't think alignment poles are gay.. Actually quite the opposite. When I see a slammed triple axle with the two chrome guides on the side I know there's some v-drive somewhere making a run..

I actually had my last trailer built with them just because I liked the looks of them (they weren't necessarily needed)

RD

 

[playdeep]

Water cannons in the channel...Liberace gay.
(Good way to get your ass kicked as well).

 

[Rivertoys]

I read the list of "gay" things..

I don't think alignment poles are gay.. Actually quite the opposite. When I see a slammed triple axle with the two chrome guides on the side I know there's some v-drive somewhere making a run..

RD

I'm sure there must be an exception to the rule for V-Drives... because they are never gay (unless maybe they have an open bow, I've read)... Besides those alignment things are needed so you don't hit the shaft and prop.

 

[milkmoney]

Schiada with a small block.

And super gay is having an outdrive on it.

 

[RiverDave]

Schiada with a small block.

And super gay is having an outdrive on it.

Strange how I always get compliments and have a line around the block wanting to buy my alternative lifestyle..

RD

 

[Rivertoys]

Besides those alignment things are needed so you don't hit the shaft and prop.

Actually, I might of made them sound gay again.....

 

[Yellowboat]

I would rather have a out drive then a v drive. Cheaper, less power for the same mph and easier to use. I don't need a big boat set to kill

 

[Riverbound]

What's "gay " is being the old fart bitching about the young "punks" and their loud music. Loud Boats tattoos etc. i'm not getting any younger but when I do see young kids out there doing stupid shit it just makes me think back when I was the young kid.

Some of you guys should really reevaluate your hobby

 

[Riverbound]

Strange how I always get compliments and have a line around the block wanting to buy my alternative lifestyle..

RD

A lot of people buy Priuses as well..... Doesn't make them cool

 

[ka0tyk]

A lot of people buy Priuses as well..... Doesn't make them cool

 

[milkmoney]

Strange how I always get compliments and have a line around the block wanting to buy my alternative lifestyle..

RD

Not here. Keep telling urself that.

 

[460]

Strange how I always get compliments and have a line around the block wanting to buy my alternative lifestyle..

RD

Someone needs to sit them down for an intervention.

 

[Marine Industries West]

A compilation of your complaints into a helpful boating guide by RDP members,

A Boaters Handbook, a Guide to Fitting In

So you're thinking of getting into boating? Or, you already have but think you're doing it wrong? Do not worry my friend. An experienced group of boaters that represent River Dave's Place were kind enough to assemble a highly classified list of unspoken rules in the boating community. Until now, these rules have been kept hush-hush and were most likely the butt of many jokes, perhaps aimed directly at you. Fret not my fellow waterway fun seeker, just stick to these guidelines and you can easily redeem yourself and possibly become a respected boater.

Boating is much more than just water and a boat. It's a lifestyle. To get started in the right direction it is important that we shake off any visual effects that could land you in a launch ramp skirmish. The boating community has overwhelmingly agreed on the message that you may be sending if you are found to be wearing Ugg boots and shorts. As a man, this is simply not acceptable, no matter how comfortable those boots are. To elaborate on footwear, any type of sock wearing with any type of sandal is strictly prohibited. Socks and flip-flops just don't cut it. Don't think you have an escape route to your sock-sandal wearing fetish, cause Mandals or Tevas are off the table too. Don't even think about water socks, no matter how functional they may seem. And there isn't any type of gang initiation so you should leave your bandana at home.

Eyewear is equally crucial. White sunglasses otherwise known as Orange County Bukake Goggles should be avoided at all times. It's been proven that steering clear of such eye wear increases your chances of attracting a mate of the opposite sex by over 98 percent.

To the Lady friends on the scene, although it has been disputed by some that one piece bathing suits should not be acceptable, we have recently been given visual proof by a fellow board member that a one piece bathing suit is more than acceptable and in some cases surpasses the originally desired two piece bathing suit design. Of course, with the full support of new and veteran members, we support the right to optional clothing.

I know what you're thinking, there sure is a lot more to this boating stuff than just buying a boat. I know, I know, just bare with us and take it all in. Much like Chet Ripley's taking down of the Ole' 96'r, there's a lot to digest here. Even with the criticalness of the visual aspects, we still get a rogue member here and there wanting to buck the system. In a recent post, one member proudly said that "I got balls enough to walk the channel in a G string made of a black tube sock and the raw hyde string off my old work boot".

Let's get on to the good stuff, buying a boat. Current boaters shouldn't feel above reviewing this section, you may learn something. First things first, avoid purchasing any boat that is carried by a triple axle trailer unless said boat exceeds 28 feet. On anything smaller, the third axle is just not necessary. That type of situation will only be viewed by potential mates of the opposite sex as a personal shortfall. Avoid any type of production boat. The price may tempt you, but don't do it. Avoid any boat that has a trailer with boat guides. If the boat is too good to pass up, but the trailer is equipped with guides, you'll want to find the first welding shop you drive by and have them cut off before anyone sees you. Once you find your diamond in the rough, an engine start up is a must. For the more exotic buyers, potentially purchasing a boat with a supercharged engine, make absolutely sure there is no blower surge. This is frowned upon by many including the supreme leader of RDP. There's simply no reason for it, and if you think it's cool, we may need to be having a different discussion. Open bow Schiada's, boats with keel guards and Teal gelcoat should also be avoided.

If you're in the market for a Jet Ski or a Seadoo, I must apologize up front, there is simply no hope for you as a boater. You will inadvertently become part of "that" clan and become a massive frustration for normal boaters. Your future ability to follow boats too closely, stir up calm waters in quite coves, blindly cut in front of high speed boats, and ride up on the asses of water skiers will be so finely tuned, you'll officially be hated by boaters everywhere. Hopefully you're not going to launch that ski with your Prius, cause that's not gonna go so well at Site 6 after a few ice chests of beer have been drinken.

Whatever your budget, the old saying there's a seat for every ass will eventually prove true. You'll find your new boat. To avoid having jokes made behind your back, it's important that you use your boat more than once a year.

Now that you're a boater, you're going to be out in the sun, soaking up the rays and enjoying nature. Sunscreen is very important. Note, it's not important enough to have a fellow boater of the same sex rub you down with it (unless you're a female). Just don't go there. If you are not in the company of a lady friend to apply your sunscreen in those hard to reach areas, buy a can of spray on sunscreen. Two guys with a bottle of rubbing lotion is not exactly what I'd consider any type of mating ritual in which the end result is to potentially attract a mate of the opposite sex.

Let's get that new boat launched. You're about to begin a new endeavor of extreme common sense. If you are unaware of how to back up a trailer, now is not the time to practice. You will only draw extreme attention and frustration from fellow boaters. Add a pair of Orange County Bukake Goggles or a pair of Ugg boats to your situation and things can potentially turn violent towards you real quick. There's thousands of empty parking lots for you to practice your new necessity to properly launch your boat. Once you learn, it is a good idea to teach your wife of girlfriend. Trust me, even though Tammy Wynett said it best when she sang, "stand by your man", your significant other would rather not suffer the embarrassment of your inability to do such a basic function that every man should know how to do.

Before you even attempt to launch your new boat, make sure you have a tow vehicle capable of launching properly. Having to ask to get towed off the launch ramp without special circumstances, will most likely result in people thinking you're a complete D-bag. You'll also be viewed as a total D-bag if you don't have your program together before you decide to occupy a valuable space on the launch ramp. Again, back to good old basic common sense, have your shit prepared before getting on the launch ramp. Being as inexperienced as you probably are, it would be a good idea to go to the lake on a non-busy day to practice your launching technique. It is important to start your boat before you remove it from the trailer, hell, you might as well give it a minute to warm up too. Anything you can do to make you look like you know what you're doing. Pushing your boat off the trailer and your boat not starting leaving you adrift in mayhem will certainly secure your seat at the table of D-bags. Be considerate when launching your boat. The dock is long enough for several boats, not for you to tie off right in the middle of the dock rendering it useless for any other boats. We may be on common sense overload by now, but try to stick it out.

If you manage to get your new boat into the water safely, you're about to experience what you've spent a small fortune to accomplish. It is very important not to ruin your situation now. When planning your trip, make sure you invite some female guests. No one wants to see a boat loaded down with sausage drinking CL's. Some boats are equipped with stereo systems. Sound systems can be a great way to add to your boating experience. Just remember, there's always someone with a louder stereo and we didn't come to the lake for a sound off competition. A constant blur of bottoming out cracked speakers just isn't cool. Know your place on the stereo food chain. If you're fortunate enough to be the big dog on the totem pole of stereos, don't think you're the shit. You can have a loud stereo with out acting like you're affiliated with the B.S.C. (black sock crew).

As you drive your boat, there are many common rules on the waterway, but one important thing that is not written in any rule book, is to not turn your boat at any time with your palm up. It simply doesn't look right and is not accepted by the RDP members. After your successful boat launch, don't ruin it by driving your boat with your fenders hanging out. Put that shit away, it looks ridiculous flopping around on the side of your boat. If you're in a no wake zone, it means no wake. Not, no wake for them but it's ok for me to have a wake. Don't be the guy who thinks he owns the marina. That guy isn't cool no matter how much he thinks he is. If you have invited guests on your new boat, insists that they put away all books and cell phones. This is a supposed to be a boating event, not a library. Urge them to drink too much and get crazy. Now that you're a boater, it's your job to be a hater on Jet Ski's and Seadoo's. Especially when you see two dudes on a Seadoo. Much like the 2 hotdogs in a bun , it just doesn't look right.

While underway with your new program, as you think, hey, I'm actually fitting in with this crowd thanks to the Guide to boating by RDP members, remember that you don't own the water way. Watch out for other boats, give people space. No one wants you climbing up their ass, that's why these guidelines exist. If you are fortunate enough to have a high powered speed boat, that does not give you the right to endanger others because you are most likely clueless. Use common sense. If you insist on passing another boater at 100 miles per hour, how bout you give them a wide berth? When your toy is broken, it's probably going to be that other boater you blew by at close range you'll be asking to please tow you in.

Be on the lookout for rental boats. These folks have zero skin in the game. They paid $250.00 to rent a shit box boat for a few hours and they have everything to gain and nothing to lose. They'll be dangerous and have no clue to any written or unwritten rules of boating. If they go north, you should go south.

The time will come when you'd like to beach your keel guard-less boat and relax on the sandy beach for a while. This is the only time it will be acceptable for you to raise your bimini top. Avoid parking next to any piece of shit boat, rental boat, or tower boat. This would only lead to extreme frustration, it may come from the blasting rap music, or possibly them allowing their boat to hit yours because they're too lazy to tie it off properly. Either way, the lake draws a lot of scum and it's not just in the water. When you finally settle into a good spot, be very cautious with anyone wearing black socks approaching you for a conversation. Most likely that conversation will only contain crap talking about how much better their boat is than yours. Unfortunately, B.W.A. (boaters with attitude) are everywhere. Do not attempt to figure out the enigma that is a black sock wearer, they are above you, just leave it at that. Rap music blasting from a vehicle on the launch ramp is another tell-tale sign of someone with B.W.A. If you decide to take a swim, wearing a life vest as a diaper should be avoided.

No one loves a dog jumping and swimming in the water more than their owner. Pretty simple, keep your dog on a leash. No one else thinks it's cute. If you choose to bring along mans best friend, be it's friend and pick up the mess it leaves behind. Pretty simple.
Pick up your trash or you are the trash. Again, quite simple.

As your day winds down and your find yourself back at the launch ramp, please remember there are several others who need to use that launch ramp. Now is not the time to stop in the middle of the launch ramp to wipe your boat off. Pull off to the side and get the hell out of the way. Don't blare your rap music while you're wiping your boat down. If you followed the rules outlined above, you would have just had a great day on the water, don't ruin it now.

Now that your day has ended and you've successfully acted like a respectful boater, be sure to avoid confrontation with anyone violating the above rules that can kick your ass. That will immediately put you at or under their level.