That One Thing Your Wife Does...

[Ziggy]

I love my wife
But goddamn when I’m drunk and squeeze a lime shits going everywhere 42 years tomorrow it’s gonna do the same .

Congrats on 42 Mark, that's awesome.

 

[Spudsbud]

not enough bandwidth here.....

 

[Ziggy]

She spits out her toothpaste and leaves it to dry in the sink. Fawwwwk!

Mine wanders the house while brushing and leaves a trail of white toothpaste dots.

 

[Ziggy]

Cleans up after me and then I can't find shit.

Lmao, I tell my lovely wife it's an easter egg hunt for me after she tidys up

 

[JD D05]

Lmao, I tell my lovely wife it's an easter egg hunt for me after she tidys up

I really like yore wife.

 

[jeteater1]

I love my wife
But goddamn when I’m drunk and squeeze a lime shits going everywhere 42 years tomorrow it’s gonna do the same .

Happy early anniversary Mark

 

[Rondog4405]

Thank God no wife

Knew you would be back

 

[Old Texan]

A friend who had been married about 10 years made a statement to his wife a one day. "Dear, do you realize the statistical odds of you being right 100% of the time over me for 10 years are off the chart? Let's clear out the ban account and head to Vegas. You can't lose....."

I thought it was pretty funny, but got tired of hearing how bad his back ached from sleeping on the couch after he told her.

 

[milkmoney]

Knew you would be back

Just a drive by. Had some buisness to take care of in havasu , but let's say , nobody showed up.....bullhead bully does fly bys , I drive by

 

[buck35]

You said one thing......
No one has mentioned waiting till you sit down to call from the other end of the house to ask/ say something unintelligible .

 

[Mandelon]

She's able to go to bed at 8:05 and be asleep by 8:06. That window closes fast!

 

[Rondog4405]

Just a drive by. Had some buisness to take care of in havasu , but let's say , nobody showed up.....bullhead bully does fly bys , I drive by

So i take it yore still a schiada owner..?

 

[TPC]

Marriages are a 10%/90% situation.
Sometimes you get 10%, sometimes 90%.
I don't ever remember the 90% part.

Walk in closet was 50 - 50.
It's now 90 - 10 and I'm lucky to have that 10, and it's defaulting to 5%.

Out of the blue I saw wall mount ironing boards in a cabinet at Home Depot.
What the hey, I bought it and installed it in the wall next to the washer - dryer in the garage to the wifes surprise.
I now need that wall space. NFW, I stepped on my dick with that move. Ain't gonna happen. The ironing board stays.

 

[vdcruiser]

My wife allowed me to have 5 flatbottoms, 2 V drive cruisers and many other toys. Wish I still had her.

 

[Wedgy]

Just a drive by. Had some buisness to take care of in havasu , but let's say , nobody showed up.....bullhead bully does fly bys , I drive by

Stop. Think time of year. Her Beavis n Butthead Atty's at Law office in Ca. Atty: Oh Shiiiit look on his face, "Duh, I haven't received that yet."
(As agreed prior. Doph!) Me, "OOOO K" So. People are interesting. Motivation. What drives individuals. People are creatures of habit.
Women, it is said, are....? I know mine was. Always,,,
"Somebody," Fk'D uuuuuup. With that sweet Extortion phone call Again, think time of year. And, Federal Law applies!

 

[rvrrun]

Marriages are a 10%/90% situation.
Sometimes you get 10%, sometimes 90%.
I don't ever remember the 90% part.

Walk in closet was 50 - 50.
It's now 90 - 10 and I'm lucky to have that 10, and it's defaulting to 5%.

Out of the blue I saw wall mount ironing boards in a cabinet at Home Depot.
What the hey, I bought it and installed it in the wall next to the washer - dryer in the garage to the wifes surprise.
I now need that wall space. NFW, I stepped on my dick with that move. Ain't gonna happen. The ironing board stays.

I still don’t remember how that happened. I bought our house before we were married and she has well over 50% of the walk-in and my share keeps dwindling.

 

[rvrrun]

So i take it yore still a schiada owner..?

Until he decides to list it on “trailerqueens.com”.

 

[liquid addiction]

Thinks if she turns the thermostat up all the way, the house will get warm quicker!!

 

[endobear]

I have a few things that irritate me but the thing that drives me nuts is the crap that gets set/thrown in my garage.
She has the entire freaking house and a 400sqft storage room. All I need is my garage, 1 drawer in the bathroom, 3 drawers in the dresser, about 20% of the closet and 1 shelf for beer in one of the fridges.
Shes gotten better but it still drives me nuts.

 

[HST4ME]

My ex gf was famous for putting empty salad dressing, ketchup/mustard bottles etc back in the fridge. Make a nice salad, burger, some hot dogs and find that and one lonely pickle slice floating in the jar. Fucking asshole.

 

[Motoxxxloak]

Breathes

 

[AZMIDLYF]

Loves me unconditionally...I just for the life of me can't come to grips with that.

 

[Shlbyntro]

Unplugging shit for fear of electrical fires.

She must work for PG&E

 

[LazyLavey]

God Bless Her!

But she tells me she loves me everyday and tolerates my dumb ass!

 

[HST4ME]

Just remember her on febuary 14rd

 

[t&y]

Any flat surface of the house somehow gets piled up with something of hers. I'm sure there's stuff I do that drives her crazy as well.

Thank god I'm not the only one. I'll clean it up and within minutes something else is there...

 

[92 cole]

Fuck yall

not falling for it

I plead the 5th admendment... I have the right to remain silent..

Yes but do you have the ability?

 

[lbhsbz]

Every. Fucking. Time. I need to hop in her vehicle to run to the store or whatever...gas gauge on E.

 

[4Waters]

@Roosky01 thread made me want to bump this. LOL

 

[Roosky01]

Pretty sure there is always a glass of red wine with Saran Wrap covering it in the cupboard at all times… is a top notch cook and overachieves when it comes to the full belly and empty nuts scenario, but she can’t load a dishwasher for shit.

 

[rivermobster]

There are a couple of missing inmates in this thread ...

RIP.

 

[TPC]

My most common responses to her:

“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“In other words you want me to,, “

 

[TPC]

Traffic has to be clear from Honolulu to Jerusalem before she’ll make that left turn.

 

[rrrr]

She's able to go to bed at 8:05 and be asleep by 8:06. That window closes fast!

This one made me bust out laughing.

 

[TPC]

Ali rolls in bed and spools up the blankets like a human burrito.

I’m freezing my ass off and ask her if she “shut off the heat?”

-“Yes, it’s only 36(F) degrees” she tells me.

 

[Maestro]

Nope, I ain't saying shit. Best wife in The world after 23 years of putting up with me.

 

[onthehook]

Perspective....This woman has done a bunch of crap and STILL does that just makes you question reality...BUT, through the last 47 years she's put up with my crap, which I will say is way worse than anything she's ever done.... AND, that is just what she knows I've done...Perspective is EVERYTHING...She is in ICU right now and expects to be fine and like most, I have no idea what I'd ever do without her...