Son needs divorce lawyer/ info

[cofooter]

There was some study done to look at the projected net worth of a married man and the net worth of that same man after divorce over time. The vast majority of divorced men ended up better off financially in the long run. Shed that boat anchor w/o paying lawyers, write off any losses, and go chart your own path. Odds are on your side!

 

[warpt71]

She will need to refinance the home and pay him out. Don't let her hire her own appraiser. Make sure the inspection is done by an unbiased appraiser used by the lenders AMC (appraisal management company). At close of escrow, he would sign a Quit Claim deed to remove himself from title in exchange for his share of the equity. If she cannot afford to do the cash out refinance, she needs to sell the house.

Call me if you need help with this part.

This is the start of the fight for me to a T!!!!!!!!

Ive been a mess for probably 3 weeks now as my patients is running thin and we will have owned the house for 2 years in 3 months, its cash out time!!! And home values are still climbing amazingly enough.

 

[jetboatperformance]

A guy once told me "Marriages are like Corvettes , "ya need one to wreck and one to drive " my first lasted less than a year before she cheated on me , this 2nd one 47 years (had to sell the Vette for a wedding ring)

 

[Tamalewagon]

I appreciate everyone's input.

I am the son, by the way.

It's an ugly situation for me.. absolutely no communication and she want me to leave, essentially, with nothing.

I could talk forever about how great our life was

Reality is, she wants me to leave with nothing after we have spent the last few years doing nothing but improve and remodel our home..
(Probably the biggest stresser in our relationship)

She refinanced the house after we got married (joint decision) but my name is not on the loan, and I don't know if she used my income for that loan application. That would guarantee my stake in the house

The 2 of us, with virtually no outside help, have improved and remodeled our house. We have accrued 200k equity in a place where 200k, normally, would buy you an entirely new home.

She wants me to leave with a 20k RV, that I'm living in. And she wants me to buy my own car from her beacuse she got the better rate when we bought it.
THATS ALL.
Also, I can't get a loan for the car regardless, because our finances have been tied together and she accrued 55% of our credit line in recent months to help finish our kitchen remodel dropped my score to 740ish but with to much debt and I, personally, don't have enough history to overcome that.
She also has my credit card, zero balance (Thang god) but I need that.. and I started doordashing to make extra cash on the side, she has my doordash debit card as well.

We did counseling, and i was willing.. this is where things shook her up.. she always thought that I didn't do enough, and I drink too much. ( 2 tall miller lites per day usually, and I am home 2 hours before her.

The first counselor ran with her at first.. but when I was doing everything they suggested, everything seemed fine on my end and he started to question her. Counselor basically started to say that she seemed unwilling to compromise on anything and she has been dictating every aspect of our relationship..

Fired him.. started over with a second.. same result.. fired..

Oh yeah, in the middle of this, we had an argument when I tried to go get my legal paperwork (passport, social security card , records etc..) and in that 1 single argument, where I never made threats.. I got a temporary restraining order, hearing is tomorrow ( wish me luck, I dont have any guns currently, but I really enjoy them and would love to be able to buy a couple)

Truth be told, I'm way to kind, giving and respectful to have gotten into a situation like this.

Sorry I vented all of this, but I know y'all have been supportive of each other for so long

There is plenty more that goes along with it, im not perfect, but her shit stinks too.

You do not have to be on the loan to retain ownership. If you are still on title, you still have ownership. Also (although I am not an attorney and this is out of the scope of my profession and merely my opinion) California is a community state, your attorney may be able to thwart title ownership issues.

 

[240Hallett]

Don’t fight your case on social media.

 

[coolchange]

As been said before, as much as we would want to follow and support your plight, you are probably better served to delete these threads.

 

[Tooms22]

Don’t fight your case on social media.

As been said before, as much as we would want to follow and support your plight, you are probably better served to delete these threads.

Yup.

I'm not in the business of giving legal advice in areas of law that I know little about. But it's never bad advice, in general, to avoid discussing the facts of a pending dispute/case on a public forum.

 

[mjc]

Well had court for the TRO and she folded and canceled it. She really had nothing to go on, but the sheriff she talked to told her to do it and she did.

 

[OCMerrill]

It sure sounds to me like she has a love interest. This is why she has turned aggressive and is so consumed on getting rid of you.

That's how I see it and have seen it with past friends and my own x-wife.

What does that mean? It means she has a coach or at least an ear.

 

[Teague_JR]

If you are on title of the house you are in the game for the proceeds. You are not entitled to her portion of the down payment or the equity appreciation of whatever that percentage of the down payment was. Don't worry about leaving the house, that's usually an angle they try to take with custody it doesn't have any bearing on property issues. Without kids this whole process is a lot easier to stay objective.

I recently finished my divorce. My ex went down a mental illness spiral and completely wrecked all her relationships and the life I had put together for our family. I had the best custody attorney in Ventura County (a female)... I have had full legal and physical custody of my two daughters for almost 2 years and I will retain that forever. That being said, what finally finished the divorce was my willingness to discuss things with her and allow her extra time and flexibility with our daughters, as opposed to fighting in court and drawing battle lines, to the detriment of our children. I would have won, it was not worth the financial cost and emotional stress. It could have drug on for another year or two easily. Her attorney was PISSED that we came to an agreement outside the courtroom and tried really hard to slow roll and prevent it, to the point my attorney emailed him a settlement with everyone's signature except his and essentially threatened him.

Cut your losses, everything is replaceable if your willing to work at it. Your sanity is priceless and the sooner you're done with this scenario the better.

 

[rivrrts429]

It sure sounds to me like she has a love interest. This is why she has turned aggressive and is so consumed on getting rid of you.

That's how I see it and have seen it with past friends and my own x-wife.

What does that mean? It means she has a coach or at least an ear.

Yup, dealt with this very scenario. It sounds the same to me as well. It’s a bitch of a process but once you’re through it it’s like your quality of life quadruples overnight.

Good luck to the OP. It’s rarely a pleasant experience but keep focused and get through it. Don’t forget to treat yourself well along the journey.

 

[Gonefishin5555]

My advice would be to sell the RV Immediately before the economy tanks. Go ahead and start rebuilding your life. Move far away from her if you can. She probably already has a dude sorry to tell you that. You should get 1/2 the home equity earned during the marriage. Try arbitration if she settles down enough to be rational. The arbitrator will tell you what each side is entitled to., they will probably appear to be on your side as they will shut down her bullshit.

Open all new credit cards and anything in your name and hers should already be shut down. Including bank accounts don't commingle anything. Once you have a separation date you can't start building again. Your separation date is probably the date you moved out of the house although you should consult an attorney or get legal advice on that. Open up a new IRA and start saving for a house now. She isn't entitled to anything earned after separation.

The house will be tricky with interest rates higher she won't want to refinance to pay you. I would insist that it be sold to pay you if needed. The other thing is she could sign over her pension plan to you if she has a balance in one. The RV I would just sell otherwise she will insist it was worth 10K more than it really is and it will lower your payment she owes you for the home equity. Shit will be on sale next year since this is a boating forum you should go buy a fucking boat.

 

[stoker]

I cringe when I read these stories. My divorce took over 6 years and combined legal fees were close to $500,000.00. I was not wealthy by any means but I did manage to pay my legal fees and later hers as well. Her intentions through the whole process was not to get her fair share but instead to bankrupt me. She came close but did not succeed. Outside of loosing loved ones it was the lowest point of my life. Couple that with the economic crash at the time (2009) it's a wonder pulled through it all. The only advice I have going forward is prenup, prenup, prenup!

 

[rivrrts429]

I cringe when I read these stories. My divorce took over 6 years and combined legal fees were close to $500,000.00. I was not wealthy by any means but I did manage to pay my legal fees and later hers as well. Her intentions through the whole process was not to get her fair share but instead to bankrupt me. She came close but did not succeed. Outside of loosing loved ones it was the lowest point of my life. Couple that with the economic crash at the time (2009) it's a wonder pulled through it all. The only advice I have going forward is prenup, prenup, prenup!

....or don’t marry again lol

It’s a total sham for men. We get raked over the coals and if kids are involved we’re really fucked. God bless those that have made it work but one minute it’s bliss and the next it’s a nightmare.

 

[Lumpy]

Well had court for the TRO and she folded and canceled it. She really had nothing to go on, but the sheriff she talked to told her to do it and she did.

This is Great news! Tell your son to get his business in order as soon as possible! He needs a digital recorder on him and rolling at all times in her presence. NO communication with her at ALL!! NO email NO texting...nothing!!! Sheriff escort to retrieve his things pronto! Your son still needs an attorney to coach him. She is crazy and looking for another angle. If he falls for the crying he will find himself in the same position three months from now.

 

[cofooter]

I cringe when I read these stories. My divorce took over 6 years and combined legal fees were close to $500,000.00. I was not wealthy by any means but I did manage to pay my legal fees and later hers as well. Her intentions through the whole process was not to get her fair share but instead to bankrupt me. She came close but did not succeed. Outside of loosing loved ones it was the lowest point of my life. Couple that with the economic crash at the time (2009) it's a wonder pulled through it all. The only advice I have going forward is prenup, prenup, prenup!

Sad story...... glad you made it out, hope you are killing it today!!!!

 

[Lumpy]

I cringe when I read these stories. My divorce took over 6 years and combined legal fees were close to $500,000.00. I was not wealthy by any means but I did manage to pay my legal fees and later hers as well. Her intentions through the whole process was not to get her fair share but instead to bankrupt me. She came close but did not succeed. Outside of loosing loved ones it was the lowest point of my life. Couple that with the economic crash at the time (2009) it's a wonder pulled through it all. The only advice I have going forward is prenup, prenup, prenup!

Scorched earth for sure!

I have to say,
These threads make me cringe for sure. Been through it myself. What makes me cringe the most is how us men are so fucking stupid. Women may be crazy but they aren't nearly as dumb as men/boys and they know it.
A Man's worst enemy IS HIS EGO.

 

[dribble]

A guy once told me "Marriages are like Corvettes , "ya need one to wreck and one to drive " my first lasted less than a year before she cheated on me , this 2nd one 47 years (had to sell the Vette for a wedding ring)

You married her after she sat on your Vette with rivets in her jeans?

 

[DarkHorseRacing]

Smith & Wesson and Associates...

 

[cofooter]

Scorched earth for sure!

I have to say,
These threads make me cringe for sure. Been through it myself. What makes me cringe the most is how us men are so fucking stupid. Women may be crazy but they aren't nearly as dumb as men/boys and they know it.
A Man's worst enemy IS HIS Wang!

Fixed it.

 

[OCMerrill]

....or don’t marry again lol

It’s a total sham for men. We get raked over the coals and if kids are involved we’re really fucked. God bless those that have made it work but one minute it’s bliss and the next it’s a nightmare.

This. x1000. I struggle with my second wife time to time but I am not giving up 1/2 everything I've worked for...again. My kids are adults so thats not a huge concern.

Decent place to live, as good of a kid relationship as you can have, working on some hobbies (cool car and boat for you), a big TV, boating with friends.

And...a great dog.

 

[bonesfab]

Fixed it.

Why do men name their penis' ?? would you want someone you don't know making all your important decisions???

 

[bonesfab]

And the guys that do it multiple times. Half of half of half is like an 1/8 of your shit left. No thank you. Only way I will marry again is she has more than me.

 

[Dan Lorenze]

I remember a talk I had with my Dad during my divorce. He told me that it might sound crazy, but getting divorced will be an incredible gift in my life. He was so right.

 

[jetboatperformance]

You married her after she sat on your Vette with rivets in her jeans?

Believe Me , Shes worth it !

 

[dave29]

Been through all this crap. Don't fight over the small stuff. Find the best attorney you can and pay the money. Make sure that when it's over she can never come back for a second bite.
Some day you'll look back and say, "it was the best decision I ever made."

 

[CLdrinker]

My youngest BIL borrowed over 20k to pay a lawyer so he could fight over a Jeep Grand Cherokee that was worth about 7k and a house he was upside down on.

Pretty smart for a guy with a master’s degree.

 

[Badchoices03]

No kids and fighting over about $100k in perceived equity....I hate to say it, but you would probably be better off just tucking your tail and moving on....you will be much happier that way...

 

[Va9sWiass]

My wife and I separated two months ago, but we are still not divorced. She wants to take my business, house, car, and other possessions, but my lawyer and I are doing everything we can to stop her from doing that. I hired a divorce lawyer, but she crashed into my car a few days ago. Now I need a car accident lawyer because she says I'm the one who crashed into her. I went to Pusch and Nguyen Law Firm to make it an easy case. But what do I do with this woman? She said I was with my new girlfriend in this car, so she crashed my car. Bullshit!

 

[Ultra...Good]

My wife and I separated two months ago, but we are still not divorced. She wants to take my business, house, car, and other possessions, but my lawyer and I are doing everything we can to stop her from doing that.

Hell of a first post. Any who, divorce; the screwing you get, for the screwing you got. Peace out.

 

[OCMerrill]

And the guys that do it multiple times. Half of half of half is like an 1/8 of your shit left. No thank you. Only way I will marry again is she has more than me.

THIS, THIS, THIS.

 

[OCMerrill]

My wife and I separated two months ago, but we are still not divorced. She wants to take my business, house, car, and other possessions, but my lawyer and I are doing everything we can to stop her from doing that.

 

[Ziggy]

I have a partner teacher who went through a horrible divorce with her husband. He hid lots of assets (cars, guns, fishing equipment), was responsible for their house in Canyon Lake (that he built) going into foreclosure, and was a constant no show at court. He quit working early in the process.
The result after 3 years is that she had to give him half of her retirement so she will be working seven years beyond 30 to make that up. I hope your son can resolve things amicably. His future depends on it

Had a customer who quit working when divorcing. His famous quote was "half of nothing is nothing".
Just did his thing under the table for years & managed just fine.

 

[Ziggy]

My wife and I separated two months ago, but we are still not divorced. She wants to take my business, house, car, and other possessions, but my lawyer and I are doing everything we can to stop her from doing that.

Epic first post