WELCOME TO RIVER DAVES PLACE

Sometimes you can make a course correction

81Sprint

81Sprint

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I am a very private person with my personal life, but sometimes you reflect on what is important, and for this holiday season I feel extremely lucky. 2 years ago, I divorced my wife of 16 years, we were totally disconnected and at odds. She didn’t want the divorce all, but I was done. We went many months not hardly speaking other than for our daughter after moving into separate houses. I can’t tell her how many times I broke down and missed her, I don’t do that. I just wanted back what we had when we met. Fast forward a bit, and she asked to meet and have a drink for our what would be anniversary, and we had a great time. No fights about the daily bullshit that we were always plagued with. Things progressed after that, i moved back in with her, and yesterday morning I asked her to remarry me. She said yes, “but this is the last time” lol. My daughter was sitting on the couch, and said wait, did you just propose to mom ?? 😂 looking forward to a great 2025
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poncho

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My first Wife and I came very close to doing that, sadly I think I sabotaged it with my list of subtle demands, in my mind she was the problem.

If I go to my grave with any regrets that would be the big one, she was the best thing that ever happened to me and I had to lose her to figure that out.

Congratulations on figuring out what I failed to and you got your best friend back. 👍
 
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COCA COLA COWBOY

COCA COLA COWBOY

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Good luck, but I'm going to be flat out honest. You may be the problem. A lot of relationships are expectations. Social media and all the other BS that surround us daily ingrain with us that we need more more more of everything.

Wake up and say out loud three things you are grateful for everyday.

I'm also the problem in my marriage. My wife is a saint and I am just a pain in the ass. I've been trying to reprogram myself and it's a slow journey, but it does help.
 
monkeyswrench

monkeyswrench

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Life ain't easy, and marriage is a part of life for some of us. Just like everything else, we're thrown curves we aren't expecting. Either you watch it fly by, or swing for the fences.
 
TPC

TPC

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Hold criticism or sour remarks until the next day, most often you'll be glad you did and you'll never mention that criticism.

Don't get sore at her only because she is sore at you. Think that thru, get ahold of yourself.

With a guy, when that candlelight of feeling for a girl dims it can grow brighter.
With a girl, when that brightness dims it never gets brighter.

Don't let her candles brightness of feelings go dim.
 
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TPC

TPC

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I’m sitting in Starbucks now because I knocked on on my wife’s introverted door.

She’s going through a lot with her cancer surgeries especially some serious coming up and is distant and more quiet than ever.

I touched on that in concern and got the you need to STFU response.

Girls have their privacies, their private thoughts and feelings and it’s often best to let it be.

Don’t invade.

Best thing to do is distance. If they want to talk about it they will, THEN bend an ear and be a good listener.
 
81Sprint

81Sprint

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TPC said:
I’m sitting in Starbucks now because I knocked on on my wife’s introverted door.

She’s going through a lot with her cancer surgeries especially some serious coming up and is distant and more quiet than ever.

I touched on that in concern and got the you need to STFU response.

Girls have their privacies, their private thoughts and feelings and it’s often best to let it be.

Don’t invade.

Best thing to do is distance. If they want to talk about it they will, THEN bend an ear and be a good listener.
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Best of luck to you and your wife, hope it all works out and she beats it.
 
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81Sprint

81Sprint

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obnoxious001 said:
Congratulations Sean. I wish you guys the best!

I also wish you would get the boat done so we know how well that engine runs!
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I appreciate it Barry! I know, I need to get that damn thing done already! I'll be setting up an appointment at Westech soon to get the motor broke in and dyno'd. I will reach out and let you know when
 
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DaveH

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81Sprint said:
I think that is exactly what was needed.
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gonna stick my neck and and say this..........

sometimes "resets" are really sweeping the unresolved issues under the rug.....only to come back up again down the road. then you will be right back in the same boat and end up mad at yourself for investing more time in a lost cause.

not hoping for an unhappy ending for you, and i do hope this works out for what is best for you.
 
Tamalewagon

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Congratulations! Second chances are rare. Rarer still these days is a good woman, wife and mother that gives you that second chance.
 
81Sprint

81Sprint

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DaveH said:
gonna stick my neck and and say this..........

sometimes "resets" are really sweeping the unresolved issues under the rug.....only to come back up again down the road. then you will be right back in the same boat and end up mad at yourself for investing more time in a lost cause.

not hoping for an unhappy ending for you, and i do hope this works out for what is best for you.
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Well sometimes a reset and time apart is needed to make you realize what is important. Those unresolved issues for us have been dealt with, and for me at least I had to realize what is worth dealing with head on so it doesn't fester and what to let go. I can be a VERY hard headed person. But I have relaxed with that over the last 2 years, learning to let shit go that really wasn't that important in the grand scheme. Pick your battles sort of thing. It has made me a happier person in general, and that has made us a better couple. Trust me, I did not go back into this without serious thought and reflection.
 
monkeyswrench

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81Sprint said:
Well sometimes a reset and time apart is needed to make you realize what is important. Those unresolved issues for us have been dealt with, and for me at least I had to realize what is worth dealing with head on so it doesn't fester and what to let go. I can be a VERY hard headed person. But I have relaxed with that over the last 2 years, learning to let shit go that really wasn't that important in the grand scheme. Pick your battles sort of thing. It has made me a happier person in general, and that has made us a better couple. Trust me, I did not go back into this without serious thought and reflection.
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There was a time near 20 years ago when my wife and I were almost done. Mostly of my doing, I cannot deny that. We were, and still are, the most stubborn humans on earth. That can be both good and bad. Over time, my temperament has calmed, and my ability to bend has increased. Hers as well. Maybe age, or, dare I say it, growing up a bit. In our case, I think we both decided we're much stronger together than apart. With what life has thrown at us since, I believe it was "meant to be".

You'll know soon enough. Be honest with yourselves and each other.
 
WYRD

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Our pastor told my wife and I at our wedding...."most people think a marriage is a 50/50 deal...but most people are wrong. Each one needs to give 100%, 100% of the time making it a 200% deal."

Congrats and good luck.
 
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rrrr

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TPC said:
I’m sitting in Starbucks now because I knocked on on my wife’s introverted door.

She’s going through a lot with her cancer surgeries especially some serious coming up and is distant and more quiet than ever.

I touched on that in concern and got the you need to STFU response.

Girls have their privacies, their private thoughts and feelings and it’s often best to let it be.

Don’t invade.

Best thing to do is distance. If they want to talk about it they will, THEN bend an ear and be a good listener.
Click to expand...
There are places I don't go with my wife. She has a protective fence around some things, and that's OK with both of us. It's worked for 35 years so far.
 
rmarion

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81

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year


Im wishing and hoping for the BEST!!

A. It TAKES TWO!!!

B. I believe the Hardest thing to do is to apologize after a fight/disagreement (insert whatever else fits) The longer it goes on the more difficult it can be to SAY I'm sorry.

Hopefully 2025 Brings Happiness to the 81 Family and beyond.

PS, date nights with a few Mom/Dad weekend getaways.... NO KIDS
 
sonicss31

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Great story that I have no comment on other than good luck and I wish you the best.
 
sprintcvx

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Good luck to you both.. I can relate a lot to MW post, and most of it was my stubborn ass trying to eff shit up.. We're past 34 and heading to 35 years next Aug. Congrats!
 
AZmike

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Sometimes a do over is a good thing. Start fresh and date all over again! Congratulations!
 
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