Some people ask the dumbest questions

[Ziggy]

LMAO.
Is this piece of rubber waterproof?
.
My latest inquiry from an Amazon buyer

.
.
What's the most idiotic question you've heard?

 

[monkeyswrench]

Parked in the middle of a mountain road, crew cab dually, 36ft race trailer, snow falling and snow everywhere, diesel just idling.
Sheriff in an awd Tahoe pulls along side, rolls down window, " You stuck?"

 

[JD D05]

What MPG do you get in that?

This is when I am filling up my boat from a complete stranger.

I got asked if my truck had a helicopter turbo once.

 

[500bbc]

Stopped at Jack In The Box on the way to the river.
Ordered a regular hamburger, no cheese. He says they don't come with cheese. I say good, He says, do you still want it?

 

[RiverDave]

What do you do for a living?

Me : I run RDP

Yeah I know.. but what do you do?

Me : I run RDP?

But what do you do for money?

Me : RDP?

What does your wife do?

Me : She sells Real Estate

AAaaaahhhhh....

I get it three times a week for the last 7 years.

RD

 

[Baja 252]

1978, 17 years old, !st date with a girl, her mom let us take her car. We had a flat, I'm about done changing it when a cop pulls up and asked if we were okay. She looks at the cop and in a very serious voice says, "NO, he's putting the hubcap on wrong, the Buick emblem is upside down and my mom's going to kill me! The cop looked at me, shook his head as if to say I feel sorry for you, then turned around and walked back to his car without saying a word. There was no second date.

 

[185EZ]

All geared up, helmet on, and sitting on bike running
NOW the neighbor walks across the street and asks
You going for a ride?
No, I started my bike so you would come over and we could talk

 

[RCDave]

At Costco with 8-10 bags of dog food on a cart. Someone asks me, "do you dogs like that food" Is it good dog food"?

 

[Constant840]

Do you know how fast you were going?

 

[RCDave]

 

[Tank]

You guys have NOOOOOOOO CLUE!!!! Talk to the public every day for a few years. It's literally scary. I could write a fucking book.

 

[oldschool]

Is this the back of the line?

 

[jeepdog]

How's business? In the winter

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

 

[ChevelleSB406]

My favorite is when it is a company.

Me: "Hi Spectrum internet, something is wrong with my connection, I cannot get on the internet on any device, can you ping and see what's going on?"
Spectrum: "Thank you for your call, have you checked our frequently asked questions section on the website yet?"


.......blood pressure gauge starts bouncing off the rev limiter....

 

[Rvrluvr]

Do you know why I pulled you over?










Because I let you!!

 

[4Waters]

You guys have NOOOOOOOO CLUE!!!! Talk to the public every day for a few years. It's literally scary. I could write a fucking book.

^^^^^this

 

[nrbr]

Have you tried a different prop?

 

[Willie B]

You guys have NOOOOOOOO CLUE!!!! Talk to the public every day for a few years. It's literally scary. I could write a fucking book.

Any chance of you writing the forward and making it inclusive in this thread???

 

[Tank]

Any chance of you writing the forward and making it inclusive in this thread???

A few off the top of my head -

- I just thought you should know, there's a man and a woman that just bought 30 boxes of ammunition at walmart.....

Ok.

- "there's a homeless guy standing on the corner talking to himself..."

Ok.

- "my waters been turned off, what do I do?"

Pay your bill!

- "Why's the electricity out. What should I do?"

Light a fucking candle.

- "My room mate locked the doors. What should I do?"

Open it with your key.

- "it's raining, should we evacuate?"

Its drizzling.

(driver at roadblock for) - "I have to go that way, that's the way I have to drive"

Sorry the fatality is causing a delay in your commute.

And my all time favorite
(and it's been more than one occasion) -

Woman - "my 10 year old is not listening to me and yelling at me, what am I supposed to do?

speechless.

TRUE FUCKING STORIES!!

I literally ask myself routinely how people have survived this long to get to this point in their life. Honest question.
You think common sense is common, but it is soooooooo not.

 

[FlyByWire]

Dumbest question ever:

Sir, are you SURE the road is closed...?!

 

[lbhsbz]

Customer (retail brake parts distributor) calls yesterday...

Them: I can't find a rotors for a 2004 Dodge 2500 in the catalog

Me: It's right there after 2003. Are we dealing with a 2WD or 4WD

Them: It has both

Me:

 

[2Driver]

18 wheeler roof slams into a low underpass.

Cop: you stuck?

Truck driver: No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.

Here’s your sign

 

[Loo Dog]

A few off the top of my head -

- I just thought you should know, there's a man and a woman that just bought 30 boxes of ammunition at walmart.....

Ok.

- "there's a homeless guy standing on the corner talking to himself..."

Ok.

- "my waters been turned off, what do I do?"

Pay your bill!

- "Why's the electricity out. What should I do?"

Light a fucking candle.

- "My room mate locked the doors. What should I do?"

Open it with your key.

- "it's raining, should we evacuate?"

Its drizzling.

(driver at roadblock for) - "I have to go that way, that's the way I have to drive"

Sorry the fatality is causing a delay in your commute.

And my all time favorite
(and it's been more than one occasion) -

Woman - "my 10 year old is not listening to me and yelling at me, what am I supposed to do?

speechless.

TRUE FUCKING STORIES!!

I literally ask myself routinely how people have survived this long to get to this point in their life. Honest question.
You think common sense is common, but it is soooooooo not.

Long standing saying in the Marine Corps. “Common sense is NOT a common virtue”.

 

[Willie B]

You guys have CLUE!!!! Talk to the public every day for a few years. It's literally scary. I could write a fucking book.

...Few days ago I was directing traffic for LAPD on Foothill Blvd... Sunland/Shafow Hills... a main thorough fare...It was blocked...family squabble somebody had a gun deal...LAPD were shorthanded... Half a dozen went running up the street and down a driveway...they left one young LAPD guy...car sideways across Foothill...no parking enforcement to give all the people stopped an indication of what to do..,so me with a experience directing traffic when necessary on movie locations... gave them a hand...
...as there were 50 to 75 cars backed up...I expected a whole bunch of questions and demands...what I got mainly was a half a dozen good looking chicks in various cars asking me questions ... for them I took extra time ...lol...For everybody else I simply asked them do you have a GPS...Got them turned around...said iwhen you get to Sunland Boulevard turn right then use your GPS it will get you to where you’re going...Young cop who had been in the middle of the road said...I would like to deputize you..,my reply thanks but no thanks???...

 

[Headless hula]

Would you like another beer?

 

[welldigger00]

The one I get all the time is: “how much does a well cost?” I usually reply with:”how much does a car cost?”. Then I get a blank look like, “I don’t get it!?”. Then I have to give the same old pitch. Sometimes you can read who is asking, and I’ll just say, “I don’t know, you need to call the office”. This is usually when I’m in a work truck, and wearing a work shirt with my logo on them.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Yellowboat]

The one I get all the time is: “how much does a well cost?” I usually reply with:”how much does a car cost?”. Then I get a blank look like, “I don’t get it!?”. Then I have to give the same old pitch. Sometimes you can read who is asking, and I’ll just say, “I don’t know, you need to call the office”. This is usually when I’m in a work truck, and wearing a work shirt with my logo on them.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I get how much to do x? All the time. Oh you want a price over the phone for a kitchen or bath remodel.... I'm no. I tell them anywhere between 5-500k

 

[snowhammer]

When I pull up with my '03 f450 with a 6.0 with 385,000 miles: "had a bunch of issues with that truck?".

Truthful answer, it had the high pressure oil pump replaced, other than that the truck has been great.

 

[Q4mtxUS]

You guys....hahaha......THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS...


There are however, a crap ton of inquizative MORONS....

 

[Icky]

I wouldn't have asked, I would've assumed because it's a ford

When I pull up with my '03 f450 with a 6.0 with 385,000 miles: "had a bunch of issues with that truck?".

Truthful answer, it had the high pressure oil pump replaced, other than that the truck has been great.

 

[Tank]

...Few days ago I was directing traffic for LAPD on Foothill Blvd... Sunland/Shafow Hills... a main thorough fare...It was blocked...family squabble somebody had a gun deal...LAPD were shorthanded... Half a dozen went running up the street and down a driveway...they left one young LAPD guy...car sideways across Foothill...no parking enforcement to give all the people stopped an indication of what to do..,so me with a experience directing traffic when necessary on movie locations... gave them a hand...
...as there were 50 to 75 cars backed up...I expected a whole bunch of questions and demands...what I got mainly was a half a dozen good looking chicks in various cars asking me questions ... for them I took extra time ...lol...For everybody else I simply asked them do you have a GPS...Got them turned around...said iwhen you get to Sunland Boulevard turn right then use your GPS it will get you to where you’re going...Young cop who had been in the middle of the road said...I would like to deputize you..,my reply thanks but no thanks???...

Tell
You what, you want to see people lose their freakin minds and go into full panic - disrupt their routine. Different driving route, Utilities off for a while shit, run out of a mocha chino at Starbucks. People go into full melt down mode when their routine gets diverted. Entitled, unprepared, unrealistic, uncaring bunch of people out there. Mindless
Drones.

 

[bowtiejunkie]

#1. Is that a Nova?? (hell, they usually just issue the statement: Nice Nova!). I have a Chevelle, says so right on the front grill, the rear deck lid, plus rear license plate frame.

 

[LazyLavey]

Tell
You what, you want to see people lose their freakin minds and go into full panick - disrupt their routine. Different driving route, Utilities off for a while shit, run out of a mocha chino at Starbucks. People go into full melt down mode when their routine gets diverted. Entitled, unprepared, untealistic, uncaring bunch of people out there. Mindless
Drones.

her: I live right over there, How do I get home when you have the street closed?

me: How long have you lived there?

her: About 5 years

me: And you don't know another way to get home?

Here's your sign.

 

[DaytonaBabe]

This.

Sent from my Note 8 using Tapatalk

 

[Cray Paper]

You guys....hahaha......THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS...


There are however, a crap ton of inquizative MORONS....

Back in the pre- PC days I used to say " there are no stupid questions, but there are stupid people that tend to ask the most questions". That doesn't work very well anymore. At work or home.

 

[Shlbyntro]

Last Friday:

I call the maintenance company that manages the house I rent.

Me: hi I need to put in a service repair request.

Girl: OK what for?

Me: my master bath shower valve is leaking. The shower valve is fully off and hot water is running out of the faucet like it is on halfway. I'm pretty sure it has gone bad and needs to be replaced.

Girl: OK I'll inform the plumber and get him out there tomorrow first thing at 8am



On to Saturday...
Plumber arrives 4.5hrs late

Plumber: hi, sorry I'm late they sent me here from Dallas. (My house in in Austin)

Me: OK well shower is in there, I'll let you do your thing.

Plumber: looks at it and says he needs to go to the store for some parts, shows back up with new shower valve about an hour later

Plumber: after 30 minutes. Hey, so you need a new shower valve. I'll put a work order in and somebody will get in touch with you

Me: face palm!

3 days go by. I have to call them and inform them that my shower is still broken, I have no hot water anywhere because it's running out of the faucet too fast to get heated and no my septic system is starting to back up and a small pond is growing in the low spot of my driveway.

Girl: oh, I'm so sorry. I'll put in a work order for you, someone will get in touch with you soon.

Me: (face palm) !!! Again


I called the landlord directly whose number I'm not supposed to have and told him what's going on. He wasnt very happy with management.

Needless to a say. Plumber was out today, and leaky part of the plumbing was capped until replacement parts get here in the morning when it will be finished. Septic seams to be drying out (I'm told it's a tank less system).





Yes, I realize I could have turned my water main off but nobody was volunteering to put me up anywhere while the entire house would've been without water until it was fixed and there didn't seem to be any end in sight for a minute.

 

[DB / HAV]

Do these pants make my ass look big?



It’s not the pants!

 

[snowhammer]

"Hot enough out there for ya?"

 

[getreal]

You guys have NOOOOOOOO CLUE!!!! Talk to the public every day for a few years. It's literally scary. I could write a fucking book.

Write in "cursive" then let the fun begin. LOL

 

[getreal]

What do you do for a living?

Me : I run RDP

Yeah I know.. but what do you do?

Me : I run RDP?

But what do you do for money?

Me : RDP?

What does your wife do?

Me : She sells Real Estate

AAaaaahhhhh....

I get it three times a week for the last 7 years.


RD

Next time tell them " I'm married".

 

[outboardrick]

Years ago when we water skied all the time, were going out for a ski ride and my girlfriend asks "should we bring the beer"?

 

[termiteguy]

I get this is it going to expensive I answer with that depends on your idea of expensive !!!!

 

[WYRD]

Last Friday:

I call the maintenance company that manages the house I rent.

Me: hi I need to put in a service repair request.

Girl: OK what for?

Me: my master bath shower valve is leaking. The shower valve is fully off and hot water is running out of the faucet like it is on halfway. I'm pretty sure it has gone bad and needs to be replaced.

Girl: OK I'll inform the plumber and get him out there tomorrow first thing at 8am



On to Saturday...
Plumber arrives 4.5hrs late

Plumber: hi, sorry I'm late they sent me here from Dallas. (My house in in Austin)

Me: OK well shower is in there, I'll let you do your thing.

Plumber: looks at it and says he needs to go to the store for some parts, shows back up with new shower valve about an hour later

Plumber: after 30 minutes. Hey, so you need a new shower valve. I'll put a work order in and somebody will get in touch with you

Me: face palm!

3 days go by. I have to call them and inform them that my shower is still broken, I have no hot water anywhere because it's running out of the faucet too fast to get heated and no my septic system is starting to back up and a small pond is growing in the low spot of my driveway.

Girl: oh, I'm so sorry. I'll put in a work order for you, someone will get in touch with you soon.

Me: (face palm) !!! Again


I called the landlord directly whose number I'm not supposed to have and told him what's going on. He wasnt very happy with management.

Needless to a say. Plumber was out today, and leaky part of the plumbing was capped until replacement parts get here in the morning when it will be finished. Septic seams to be drying out (I'm told it's a tank less system).





Yes, I realize I could have turned my water main off but nobody was volunteering to put me up anywhere while the entire house would've been without water until it was fixed and there didn't seem to be any end in sight for a minute.

Or you could have went to home depot and fixed it yourself....

 

[RitcheyRch]

Do you know why i pulled you over? Yeah, you want to hang out.

 

[Shlbyntro]

Or you could have went to home depot and fixed it yourself....

If it were my house I wouldve. But I'm not pulling tile off the wall, sweating new copper fittings, putting a new valve assembly in the wall, redrywalling the hole in the wall, retiling, and regrouting the wall myself on a house I rent.

Also if it were my house I'd be taking this opportunity to take out the tub and do a walk in shower.

 

[941Punk]

Loading the boat up, wife in bikini, neighbor asks "You guys going boating?"

 

[Ziggy]

Loading the boat up, wife in bikini, neighbor asks "You guys going boating?"

Lol, those always make me shake my head. Neighbor did the same to me last week as I'm loading the buggy in toyhauler.

 

[was thatguy]

“Is it fast?”

 

[RichL]

How much did it cost?

 

[TGIBFTGOG]

A few off the top of my head -

- I just thought you should know, there's a man and a woman that just bought 30 boxes of ammunition at walmart.....

Ok.

- "there's a homeless guy standing on the corner talking to himself..."

Ok.

- "my waters been turned off, what do I do?"

Pay your bill!

- "Why's the electricity out. What should I do?"

Light a fucking candle.

- "My room mate locked the doors. What should I do?"

Open it with your key.

- "it's raining, should we evacuate?"

Its drizzling.

(driver at roadblock for) - "I have to go that way, that's the way I have to drive"

Sorry the fatality is causing a delay in your commute.

And my all time favorite
(and it's been more than one occasion) -

Woman - "my 10 year old is not listening to me and yelling at me, what am I supposed to do?

speechless.

TRUE FUCKING STORIES!!

I literally ask myself routinely how people have survived this long to get to this point in their life. Honest question.
You think common sense is common, but it is soooooooo not.

And a lot of those idiots vote. Usually for the person offering the most free stuff.