Some Days Things Just Seem To Crumble...

[monkeyswrench]

This was one of them...

The day started off pretty decent, went down to Phoenix to look at some shit boxes for sale. Snow covered the ground here, looked real pretty. Make a deal on a shitbox or two...even got the price down a bit. Things were doing ok. In the middle of filling out paper stuff, my phone buzzes...a text from a number I don't know.
A friend from roofing, a guy I spent many days with on the roof in places all over LA and Orange Counties, has past away. He was 51, he has a son and a daughter, the same age as two of my kids.

That'll take the wind out of your sails.

Drive home with one of the new to me shitboxes. Still kinda fuckered up, thinking about this and that on the drive back up the hill. Get home, and daughter calls, she's going to get dinner for us. She stops to get In-N-Out...she's a good kid. She gets here, and food is getting laid out on the table.

My phone rings...my friend's wife. I tell my family to go ahead and eat...

She's maybe called me a handful of times, ever. My friend Ed is the guy I used to run around with up here, building cars to flip, mud trucks to wreck...all around stupidity and fun. He had 3 tours in Iraq. Rough around the edges, but would do anything for you. A few years back, he started running long haul stuff. Mostly RGN, big military stuff. He and his wife moved to Missouri. Well, he was released from a hospital in Maine yesterday morning. Had been fighting pneumonia again. His wife talked to him last night...but he didn't answer today. The people at the Pilot truck stop there told his wife the truck was there, and lights were on. Maine State Troopers made entrance to his semi...he'd past away in his sleeper overnight.

Tonight the wind isn't just out of the sails. It's a dead calm. Finding out I lost two friends the same day, both this week...opposite ends of the country. Hell, I don't have many friends to begin with.

Fuck me running, this is a weird and horrible feeling.

 

[Mr. C]

Damn. I wish I had words to help you.
I’m very sorry for your losses and for your friends and families.
Prayers to you all.

 

[74 spectra20 v-drive]

Sorry for your loss brother, sure gives us perspective to appreciate what we have, grab an extra hug from the wife and kids!!

 

[Willie B]

…Ahh man… I know how you feel… 36 of my phone contacts are deceased…RIP to your buddies…… your memories with them will soon get you through this…

 

[4Waters]

Swift kick in the nuts. Sorry for your losses

 

[RichL]

So sorry to hear this and for your losses.

 

[Cray Paper]

Sorry for your loss Monkey, getting older sucks. Been experiencing the same thing in my reality of living on this planet, when we get into our 50's death becomes much more relative in a way we cannot avoid.

 

[propcheck]

I am sorry to hear this it is painful losing friends because of the age proximity and memories you shared. I am sorry for the hurt you are feeling I hope it lessens from this point on.

 

[HNL2LHC]

Oh boy Kevin. What a day for you my friend. Sorry to hear of such a bad day for your friends and their families. It is so sad to see people so young pass away like they have. Keep your head up like you always do.

 

[4Waters]

Sorry for your loss Monkey, getting older sucks. Been experiencing the same thing in my reality of living on this planet, when we get into our 50's death becomes much more relative in a way we cannot avoid.

That's what I'm afraid of, monkey and I are the same age, I turn 49 in September. I buried a dozen plus friends or classmates by the time I was 38 (mostly to cancer) and buried 2 more 2 years ago. I'm coming up on the age that it will start up again.

 

[Cray Paper]

That's what I'm afraid of, monkey and I are the same age, I turn 49 in September. I buried a dozen plus friends or classmates by the time I was 38 (mostly to cancer) and buried 2 more 2 years ago. I'm coming up on the age that it will start up again.

My odometer turned over to 55 YO in January. I am still fueled by piss and vinegar but recently my go to approach of toughing things out / pushing through health issues is not working as it has is the past. My body ( vessel) is not complying like it used to. My mind is still sharp, but my bodily functions are not not, and that really bothers me.

Watching your life long friends pass sucks and forces us to reflect on our own reality and focusing on what we really want out of our lives.. Life directs on a path that keeps us focused on reaching and providing for others as men, when that focus is removed it has left me searching for what really matters as a human being. That is my realization of right now.

 

[fat rat]

Wow……sad to hear, hang in there,you are getting at that age where people start disappearing. …hang in there and enjoy why you have them now.

 

[Ducksquasher]

Sorry...RIP to both. God bless.

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

What a shit day. Sorry for your losses @monkeyswrench

 

[monkeyswrench]

Just came back inside. It's a beautiful night, clear as can be. Stars slightly dimmed by a near full moon. Sitting on my old tractor, contemplating mortality I guess. Occasional coyote's howl, dog barking and a big owl hooting.

Last week I turned 48. Spent the day seeing my brother in Cali, he's been ill...just realized he was supposed to call me with an update today. Also went to the funeral of a family friend. I lost a lot of friends in my younger life. A few to illness, but most due to stupidity and bad decisions. Probably why I don't have very many friends in general. Very few "old friends", and for the most part I'm not a real sociable type...I don't meet many people, and in a lot of ways I'm kind of shy I guess. Here it's easier to "talk". Many, hell, most of you, wouldn't know who I was in a room. Anonominity isn't just hiding behind a keyboard to start trouble, it can also ease anxiety in what has become some people's daily "social interactions". I'm one of those people I think.

Sorry to bore you, or vent my philosophizing. Kind of in a weird funk, if you will. Best way to describe it is punch drunk. I feel like I've been knocked upside the head. Sucker-punched. With others I know being ill, these weren't the two I saw coming at all.

 

[NicPaus]

What a Fucked up day. My Condolences MW.

I have to make the drive up to Chico at the end of the month. My great Aunt and my Uncle passed. Headed up there for a funeral. I used to drive that 500 miles one way often. Been probably 20 years since I have been up that way.

 

[RitcheyRch]

So sorry for your losses. Sadly, we never know how much time we have left on this planet.

 

[callbob]

I'm a firm believer in the clock of life. At 73 I have lost a lot of friends, family and my wife. Best wishes Kevin and hope to meet you someday. Hopefully id I get that camper close to you we can meet up. Hang in there buddy, you gots this.

 

[Romans9]

Sorry to read of this.

I’m 52 soon to be 53. I have buried many and even conducted several funerals.This week was a 2fer for me as well. One was 79 and the other 52.

Whats the moral? Live the best life you can cause no one’s getting out alive.


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[DaytonaBabe]

So sorry to read of the loss of your friends, MW

 

[OldSchoolBoats]

Sorry to hear about your friends brotha.

 

[Hardly Satisfied]

So sad to hear, sorry for you loss

 

[Andy B.]

Sorry for your loss take care....

 

[TomD]

Sorry for your loss

 

[Ziggy]

I can sense the heaviness you're feeling just reading your posts.
Condolences to you and your friends' families.

 

[GreenEnergy28]

Just came back inside. It's a beautiful night, clear as can be. Stars slightly dimmed by a near full moon. Sitting on my old tractor, contemplating mortality I guess. Occasional coyote's howl, dog barking and a big owl hooting.

Last week I turned 48. Spent the day seeing my brother in Cali, he's been ill...just realized he was supposed to call me with an update today. Also went to the funeral of a family friend. I lost a lot of friends in my younger life. A few to illness, but most due to stupidity and bad decisions. Probably why I don't have very many friends in general. Very few "old friends", and for the most part I'm not a real sociable type...I don't meet many people, and in a lot of ways I'm kind of shy I guess. Here it's easier to "talk". Many, hell, most of you, wouldn't know who I was in a room. Anonominity isn't just hiding behind a keyboard to start trouble, it can also ease anxiety in what has become some people's daily "social interactions". I'm one of those people I think.

Sorry to bore you, or vent my philosophizing. Kind of in a weird funk, if you will. Best way to describe it is punch drunk. I feel like I've been knocked upside the head. Sucker-punched. With others I know being ill, these weren't the two I saw coming at all.

Hang in there brother. I turned 48 last October and it has been sinking in that I'm one of the old guys now. How can that happen when I still don't have my shit figured out???
My wife has never been an affectionate woman. Barley one to hold my hand, or say I love you. One thing she insists on is that every morning when I leave for work, I kiss her goodbye. Some mornings she doesn't even wake up for it, some mornings I'm pissed at her and don't want to. But she told me, if anything were to happen to me during my workday, she wants to make sure she got that goodbye kiss.
We never know when it's our time.

 

[Runs2rch]

Hang in there brother. I turned 48 last October and it has been sinking in that I'm one of the old guys now. How can that happen when I still don't have my shit figured out???
My wife has never been an affectionate woman. Barley one to hold my hand, or say I love you. One thing she insists on is that every morning when I leave for work, I kiss her goodbye. Some mornings she doesn't even wake up for it, some mornings I'm pissed at her and don't want to. But she told me, if anything were to happen to me during my workday, she wants to make sure she got that goodbye kiss.
We never know when it's our time.

Same here.

 

[DILLIGAF]

My condolences to you and their familes

May both RIP

Tough start or news like that anytime for sure

 

[coolchange]

Sorry for the loss monkey.
Lost A guy I know a couple nights ago.
Many years ago, he survived a boat sinking in a storm and pulled a buddy and him onto an island. Hung onto the rocks for days before they were rescued.
This time the doctor said pancreatic cancer. Nothing to fight, no battle for survival, it’s just over.

 

[rush1]

Hug your wife kids and thank them for allowing you to love them . there a gift from God as you are to them . That's all you can do . Sorry for your loss . Life is a cruel vindictive bitch sometimes it has a way of keeping your feet on the ground.

 

[Chili Palmer]

Sorry for losses MW, as I’ve gotten older I seem to go to more funerals than weddings now. It just sucks when they happen so close together. Once I hit 60 I thought more about my own mortality. I’m going to be 62 this year and other than back and knee pains, I think I’m pretty good shape, but I do at times think how many more years do I have,10, 15, 20, 25? Will is see both my sons marry? Will I see any grandkids grow up? Will I be in sound mind? Will I go like my mom and get Alzheimer’s at an early age, but be dependent on someone for the next 8-10 years? I’m sure the man upstairs has a plan for all of us…..But it’s the evil ones that seem to last for some reason. The good ones always seem to go too early.

 

[zhandfull]

Two calls in one day, that’s will definitely take the wind out of the sails. Sorry you had to deal with that.

 

[Tractorsdontfloat]

Sorry to hear of the loss of your friends, monkey. Condolences to you and their families.

 

[Zach bash]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[rivermobster]

This was one of them...

The day started off pretty decent, went down to Phoenix to look at some shit boxes for sale. Snow covered the ground here, looked real pretty. Make a deal on a shitbox or two...even got the price down a bit. Things were doing ok. In the middle of filling out paper stuff, my phone buzzes...a text from a number I don't know.
A friend from roofing, a guy I spent many days with on the roof in places all over LA and Orange Counties, has past away. He was 51, he has a son and a daughter, the same age as two of my kids.

That'll take the wind out of your sails.

Drive home with one of the new to me shitboxes. Still kinda fuckered up, thinking about this and that on the drive back up the hill. Get home, and daughter calls, she's going to get dinner for us. She stops to get In-N-Out...she's a good kid. She gets here, and food is getting laid out on the table.

My phone rings...my friend's wife. I tell my family to go ahead and eat...

She's maybe called me a handful of times, ever. My friend Ed is the guy I used to run around with up here, building cars to flip, mud trucks to wreck...all around stupidity and fun. He had 3 tours in Iraq. Rough around the edges, but would do anything for you. A few years back, he started running long haul stuff. Mostly RGN, big military stuff. He and his wife moved to Missouri. Well, he was released from a hospital in Maine yesterday morning. Had been fighting pneumonia again. His wife talked to him last night...but he didn't answer today. The people at the Pilot truck stop there told his wife the truck was there, and lights were on. Maine State Troopers made entrance to his semi...he'd past away in his sleeper overnight.

Tonight the wind isn't just out of the sails. It's a dead calm. Finding out I lost two friends the same day, both this week...opposite ends of the country. Hell, I don't have many friends to begin with.

Fuck me running, this is a weird and horrible feeling.

I got nuthin. But I wanna say this...

My daughter likes to rag on me to stay in shape. Just recently, while she was ragging, she said...

"Do you wanna die in your sleep in your own bed? Or laying in a hospital somewhere from some strange disease?"

I read a story years ago about some guy that died in his tent out hiking. I thought, what a great way to check out! (And people ragged on me cause they thought I was nuts).

Maybe I am a bit twisted. But I do feel like anyone that checks out in their sleep, is one lucky fuck. There are so many worse ways to go.

Sorry for your loss. Peace brother.

 

[Roosky01]

Not much to say other than I feel for you, Sir.

 

[stephenkatsea]

A while back an inmate posted, RDP - the home of some of your best friends who you’ve never met. Or something close to that. But, it’s true. My sincere condolences.

 

[monkeyswrench]

I got nuthin. But I wanna say this...

My daughter likes to rag on me to stay in shape. Just recently, while she was ragging, she said...

"Do you wanna die in your sleep in your own bed? Or laying in a hospital somewhere from some strange disease?"

I read a story years ago about some guy that died in his tent out hiking. I thought, what a great way to check out! (And people ragged on me cause they thought I was nuts).

Maybe I am a bit twisted. But I do feel like anyone that checks out in their sleep, is one lucky fuck. There are so many worse ways to go.

Sorry for your loss. Peace brother.

For many years now, my biggest fear is to die in front of those I care about. It's not something I feel comfortable saddling anyone with. The truth is, we have no say in the matter. I just hope I can finish what I need to before I go...and it's not just projects and stuff like that.