Sick Mom

[guest hs]

Not sure where to start. In April my Step Moms health started declining. I made her go to the hospital because her left foot looked really discolored. Well she had a blood clot and was 4 units low on blood. Found out she had a tear in her colon. Probably from taking pain meds due to arthritis build up in her back waste area. She was in the hospital a while then got discharged and went home for a few days and then had to go back because she wasn’t feeling good. After being in there a while we found out she has really bad circulation to her toes and feet. We were told she was going to loose her toes and feet. She left the hospital around June and went in to a nursing, rehab facility. She was in there a few weeks and started to be combative with the employees there and I had to give her a heart to heart talk. She calmed down and about a week latter the facility was concerned that she would eat or take her meds and didn’t have much output. I made her go to the hospital again she had pneumonia and a couple other issues and she’s in for a couple more weeks. She gets out goes back to nursing home. Keep in mind she now can no longer walk due to being laid up so long in bed. I have another heart to heart with here and tell her she has 45 days to work really hard to make herself mobil again. Well she doesn’t progress anymore in that time frame and now her insurance is up at the facility and she came home yesterday. I hire an in home nurse 24 hours a day to take care of her. I meet her at her house to get her reaclimated to her surroundings. The facility doesn’t send her home with any meds and it’s been well over 24 hours and I’m still waiting for the RX to fill them. I get a call from the facility that’s taking care of her now and she is being difficult with the nurse. I go down there to get to the bottom of the issue and it’s just BS from my Mom. I have another heart to heart with here and explain to her it’s $20 an hour which is $480 a day which is $3360 a week and $13,440 a month. She had enough to to pay for two months out of her savings. At this rate I explain to her we have to sell her car and that might get her another 3 weeks of care and then after that we would have to sell her house and put her in a facility and pay for it out of the money from her house. My Dad worked his ass off so he could retire at 52 and her at 48 with a house paid for in Havasu with nice cars and a boat. Now all that’s going to just go to waste all that hard work he set them up for. My Dad died of Cancer 6 years ago. I don’t know what to do she can’t even get up to go to the toilet she has a catheter in and well you know what happens on the other end. All this and trying to build another business from scratch and my wife being let go from work from Covid. 2020 can go screw itself. I’m not sure if anyone has ever been through something like this any advice or encouragement would be great. A big thank you to all that have supported me this year.

 

[4Waters]

Chin up buddy, keep on fighting, don't let life beat you down.

 

[lbhsbz]

Getting old isn’t for the faint of heart. Sorry you're going through this.

 

[Havasu blue label]

The state should help out with some of the cost take moms name off house ASAP then go to the state a us citizen can ask for help to tough decision

 

[guest hs]

The state should help out with some of the cost take moms name off house ASAP then go to the state a us citizen can ask for help to tough decision

Thinking about this but want to do it the right way and not have someone come after us for doing the wrong thing

 

[Havasu blue label]

It’s completely legal . Remove ASAP quick claim the property then you will have helped your dad and mom out it’s a very smart and family smart move .just don’t put mom in a home and say goodbye visit her as much as possible . My buddy just did that here in socal dads gone pension with the mom own a home 9500 a month plus doctors visit .he transferred the home to a trust and ask for assistance thru the state and the stress is all gone

 

[HNL2LHC]

Best to you and the family. It can be hard but our parents need the help. Stay strong!!!

 

[rivermobster]

PM sent

 

[81eliminator]

Not sure where to start. In April my Step Moms health started declining. I made her go to the hospital because her left foot looked really discolored. Well she had a blood clot and was 4 units low on blood. Found out she had a tear in her colon. Probably from taking pain meds due to arthritis build up in her back waste area. She was in the hospital a while then got discharged and went home for a few days and then had to go back because she wasn’t feeling good. After being in there a while we found out she has really bad circulation to her toes and feet. We were told she was going to loose her toes and feet. She left the hospital around June and went in to a nursing, rehab facility. She was in there a few weeks and started to be combative with the employees there and I had to give her a heart to heart talk. She calmed down and about a week latter the facility was concerned that she would eat or take her meds and didn’t have much output. I made her go to the hospital again she had pneumonia and a couple other issues and she’s in for a couple more weeks. She gets out goes back to nursing home. Keep in mind she now can no longer walk due to being laid up so long in bed. I have another heart to heart with here and tell her she has 45 days to work really hard to make herself mobil again. Well she doesn’t progress anymore in that time frame and now her insurance is up at the facility and she came home yesterday. I hire an in home nurse 24 hours a day to take care of her. I meet her at her house to get her reaclimated to her surroundings. The facility doesn’t send her home with any meds and it’s been well over 24 hours and I’m still waiting for the RX to fill them. I get a call from the facility that’s taking care of her now and she is being difficult with the nurse. I go down there to get to the bottom of the issue and it’s just BS from my Mom. I have another heart to heart with here and explain to her it’s $20 an hour which is $480 a day which is $3360 a week and $13,440 a month. She had enough to to pay for two months out of her savings. At this rate I explain to her we have to sell her car and that might get her another 3 weeks of care and then after that we would have to sell her house and put her in a facility and pay for it out of the money from her house. My Dad worked his ass off so he could retire at 52 and her at 48 with a house paid for in Havasu with nice cars and a boat. Now all that’s going to just go to waste all that hard work he set them up for. My Dad died of Cancer 6 years ago. I don’t know what to do she can’t even get up to go to the toilet she has a catheter in and well you know what happens on the other end. All this and trying to build another business from scratch and my wife being let go from work from Covid. 2020 can go screw itself. I’m not sure if anyone has ever been through something like this any advice or encouragement would be great. A big thank you to all that have supported me this year.

Make sure they check her for UTI, made my mom mean as a snake.

 

[SoCalDave]

Went through this 10 years ago with my father-in-law. Consulted with family attorney about quick claiming the dead and was told it ain't gonna fly. Courts will look back 5 years... it ain't that easy. He had the same issue with amputation due to smoking all his life. Due to him not having longterm disability insurance we had to drain all the savings accounts, life insurance, you name it before medical would kick in. He passed the month everything was liquidated but the family house was spared...

 

[Looking Glass]

It’s completely legal . Remove ASAP quick claim the property then you will have helped your dad and mom out it’s a very smart and family smart move .just don’t put mom in a home and say goodbye visit her as much as possible . My buddy just did that here in socal dads gone pension with the mom own a home 9500 a month plus doctors visit .he transferred the home to a trust and ask for assistance thru the state and the stress is all gone

Just think here!! The DAMN Illehals are here and get all sorts of assistance and freebies and your parents did it the Right Way worked their Butt's off th be able to enjoy life. Get On IT. Do Not let everything they Worked and Dreamed for to pay Dr. Bills. You are Not a Bad Person to protect your Mother's Assets. Please remember there is Only One Person running for President of these United States that does care for the people. Just help him get back in and continue to straighten this mess out.

Best Of Luck, Bless yur Mother.

Things will Look totally different once the Worry about money is gone.

 

[Looking Glass]

Went through this 10 years ago with my father-in-law. Consulted with family attorney about quick claiming the dead and was told it ain't gonna fly. Courts will look back 5 years... it ain't that easy. He had the same issue with amputation due to smoking all his life. Due to him not having longterm disability insurance we had to drain all the savings accounts, life insurance, you name it before medical would kick in. Be passed the month everything was liquidated but the family house was spared...

One reson I believe in "TRUSTS"

 

[Havasu blue label]

it’s what I wanted to say the illegals get all that free shit . Quick claim put all water bills and power in your name you don’t need a attorney . You should have some type of ins

 

[SoCalDave]

Its a tough situation for all involved.
I hope you and your family pull through this. Prayers sent... it's not an easy road...

 

[SoCalDave]

One reson I believe in "TRUSTS"

Homes was in a family trust but he was still alive. Once all his assets were disposed of and medical were to kick in the $6k month care would go against the home. Once he were to pass the state wants its money back and will take a lean against the home. You do t pay the amount owed they take you to court and can force the sale of the home to get their $$$.
Its an ugly process and unfortunately he passed the month medical were to kick in.
Thing may have changed since 2010 though but doubt it went the other way.

 

[Looking Glass]

Homes was in a family trust but he was still alive. Once all his assets were disposed of and medical were to kick in the $6k month care would go against the home. Once he were to pass the state wants its money back and will take a lean against the home. You do t pay the amount owed they take you to court and can force the sale of the home to get their $$$.
Its an ugly process and unfortunately he passed the month medical were to kick in.
Thing may have changed since 2010 though but doubt it went the other way.

Well, I may have not understood? The fact that the Dim's give the Country away to every F*****G Deadbeat, Illegal and Wannabe, Whatever is a disgrace and sickening. When I stand in the line at the grocery store and people using EBT= (FOOD STAMPS) are buying Fillet's, NY Strips etc. and I'm here with a Shit Sandwich, sure have to think here = Something is NOT right.

 

[was thatguy]

Man I feel your pain.
I can’t help with financial advice, haven’t a clue.
But I do know this.
Parents and elderly HATE being old and helpless. I mean, they hate it and I don’t blame them.
My hell was different, but similar. It can get overwhelming. You aren’t being picked on. This is what it looks like.
You got this, it ain’t easy, it might screw up your plans and set you back in your plans, that’s just how it goes.
it’ll be ok.

 

[Havasu blue label]

Correction not if is not in there name it should be gifted to siblings or sibling

 

[Cole Canadian]

Although your Mom is the one who is sick you have to remember to look after yourself and your family.
This is a very stressful time of life when dealing with aging parents and you and your families health is an important part of dealing with it.
Hope everything works out for you.

 

[shock22]

It’s an difficult time stick in there went through this with my mom recently it is hard

 

[MeCasa16]

This is a shit sandwich Shane. I’m sorry you’re going through all this. My best wishes for you and your family.

 

[Looking Glass]

Your parents do work hard Play by the rules, do everything correct, then become Ill and unable to care for them self. This is not the way it was going to be

I can not help but think about the Billions of $'s this Country gives to Countries who actually Hate us except for the AID. I understand the need for Military Bases and some other necessary trade offs BUT I was raised that Charity begins at "HOME" and when all of your Family needs are met and there is Money to ? then charity can begin. The roads, bridges everyone could make lists forever., BUT the Health and Well being of hard working Tax Paying Citizens should Not take a Back Seat. The waste and Fraud with any and every "WAR" we are in or ever been could, well you know. Stories like this one is so Sad it is unbelievable it is happening in our Country.

 

[RVR SWPR]

Consider placing her in the best facility you can locate.Check them all out.When you narrow it down spend some time at the facility talk to staff and especially families visiting.Also,make sure the facility (might as well say home) has several levels of care,she might get better or worse.You want her to stay in one place.Now the hard part,turn over her assets including SS.In other words make this 1st class Care Facility a deal.Not sure anymore how these financials set up,but their are programs.Believe it or not your Mom will be content and make friends with staff & others.The good news is your mom could live a long time or even hang on a long time.You cannot put yourself thru the responsibilty of taking care of her.And you sure as hell do not want to put this on your wife or kids.Do not allow anyone to put a guilt trip on you. Your Mom will get great care in the right place. Think it over

 

[SoCalDave]

Your parents do work hard Play by the rules, do everything correct, then become Ill and unable to care for them self. This is not the way it was going to be

I can not help but think about the Billions of $'s this Country gives to Countries who actually Hate us except for the AID. I understand the need for Military Bases and some other necessary trade offs BUT I was raised that Charity begins at "HOME" and when all of your Family needs are met and there is Money to ? then charity can begin. The roads, bridges everyone could make lists forever., BUT the Health and Well being of hard working Tax Paying Citizens should Not take a Back Seat. The waste and Fraud with any and every "WAR" we are in or ever been could, well you know. Stories like this one is so Sad it is unbelievable it is happening in our Country.

This is spot on LG...

 

[SBMech]

Prayers and positive vibes sent your way namba, someone on the boards will come up with "the man" who can help you swap ownership/estate for your family.

Stand strong like you have this whole shitty year, moved your business, and thriving...I know you want to fix everything (that's what we do as men) ....

Deal with the things you can control, and let go of the shit that is out of your hands.

It's the only way you can stay sane.

 

[Carlson-jet]

It's a tough road I'm very sad to say. Nothing is easy and anything good is far and few between.
May the higher powers above have mercy on Family involved.
When My Mom became sick I moved her in to my home to be close to me and her only granddaughter. I thought I was doing the right thing as a good son as there was no Family to help her where she was out in AZ.
It all backfired drastically and set off a chain of events that led to depression. I've never really recovered and that was 2010.
Please do not fall too deep. Your household depends on it.

 

[Cole Canadian]

It's a tough road I'm very sad to say. Nothing is easy and anything good is far and few between.
May the higher powers above have mercy on Family involved.
When My Mom became sick I moved her in to my home to be close to me and her only granddaughter. I thought I was doing the right thing as a good son as there was no Family to help her where she was out in AZ.
It all backfired drastically and set off a chain of events that led to depression. I've never really recovered and that was 2010.
Please do not fall too deep. Your household depends on it.

Been there done that, there was good with the bad.... but very stressful for everyone involved. Look after yourself also.

 

[lbhsbz]

Correction not if is not in there name it should be gifted to siblings or sibling

You need to start typing in a coherent manner or you need to shut the fuck up.

 

[TPC]

We've been through this Namba and I feel your pain. A what a brutal, consuming pain in the gut it is.
We went through it several times with our parents and grandparents.
We were lucky in some respects that all the family closed ranks and helped. We read about others when most family member leave, dump is more like it, the entire overwhelming care on one family member. All too common.

For others that might be looking at options:
We put Grandma Axehandle in a pay one time, Skilled Nursing if needed, all inclusive condo complex in Vegas.
Meals, nice facility, everything is covered.

Ain't cheap. It's been about 7 years now and she loves it.
Plenty of her Swiss German friends to hang out with too.
"In Switzerland or Germany a residential community at this level would cost 20 times more" they tell us.

When they start to tap out it's all covered and handled by the nursing staff with a Doctor on call. - All Covered is the BFD. Life Care benefit - pay one time. It's' a huge payoff.
Unless you've been through this, you may not appreciate it.

Click here:

Las Ventanas | Summerlin Senior Living Community

Las Ventanas is Las Vegas' premier senior living community and Nevada's only Life Care community in Summerlin. Enjoy the beauty of the mountains and the Red Rock Canyon. We are dedicated to helping you achieve your full potential. View photos and videos or click to schedule a tour.

www.humangood.org

 

[jet496]

We're in a similar situation. My mother in law had a stroke & doesn't remember what an orange or apple is but remembers other things. We took her in 2 months ago & we have to do everything for her. She's a sweet person & knows her memory is gone. It frustrates her to hell & doesn't want to be this way. She's used to taking care of people after 8 kids & 30 grandkids.

Anyway, I feel your pain. We have a business to run & at the same time she needs 24/7 care but can't see putting her in a home yet. It has been the most stress I've had in decades. Lately has been better since we are adjusting but...

PS: She has no money at all. I've never seen anyone so broke at this age. She remarried 10 years ago & her husband helped her spend her savings, social security & pension money. Zero in savings now. Crazy.

 

[sirbob]

I’m about 1 step behind you...

Anybody have thoughts on a reverse mortgage to pull money from the house to pay for care?

 

[TPC]

I’m about 1 step behind you...

Anybody have thoughts on a reverse mortgage to pull money from the house to pay for care?

Anyway you can that causes the least financial pain to everyone. You have plenty of other tough things to deal with. If you can make money not one of them thats 90% of headaches eliminated.
If you have family members that see the $$ they may inherit grow wings and fly away is one thing to deal with. You tell them you still keep the house if it's grandma's house equity that covers it.

Neighbor family and their siblings viciously fought over the last $300 in their moms checking account.

I wouldn't wish what Namba is going through and what we experienced in the past on anyone. It's crushing.

 

[sirbob]

Anyway you can that causes the least financial pain to everyone. You have plenty of other tough things to deal with. If you can make money not one of them thats 90% of headaches eliminated.
If you have family members that see the $$ they may inherit grow wings and fly away is one thing to deal with. You tell them you still keep the house if it's grandma's house equity that covers it.

Neighbor family and their siblings viciously fought over the last $300 in their moms checking account.

I wouldn't wish what Namba is going through and what we experienced in the past on anyone. It's crushing.

I talked about reverse mortgage with my mom recently and she said she didn’t want to because she wanted to leave something for me and the grand kids- both my brothers have died so it’s down to me to handle everything. When I explained to her if she can’t get off the couch she is going to need full time care and that could come from the house equity she started to understand the situation in realistic terms.

I never planned for or counted on receiving anything from inheritance so as far as I’m concerned I want to use the house equity when that’s all that’s left to pay to let her stay in the house as long as possible????

I know it’s time for me to start calling professionals in this area of care to learn about my best options.

 

[Andy B.]

Well, I may have not understood? The fact that the Dim's give the Country away to every F*****G Deadbeat, Illegal and Wannabe, Whatever is a disgrace and sickening. When I stand in the line at the grocery store and people using EBT= (FOOD STAMPS) are buying Fillet's, NY Strips etc. and I'm here with a Shit Sandwich, sure have to think here = Something is NOT right.

Squeeze will tell you that's our duty to take care of all those degenerates!! Fuck them all!!

Sorry you're going thru this my family went thru this a few years ago my mom had dementia. Couldn't get assistance from state if she was an illegal or refugee no problem totally fucked up she lost her house,everything!! She passed away last year.......

Yea vote for Biden and the fucking will get much worse!!!!

 

[TPC]

I talked about reverse mortgage with my mom recently and she said she didn’t want to because she wanted to leave something for me and the grand kids- both my brothers have died so it’s down to me to handle everything. When I explained to her if she can’t get off the couch she is going to need full time care and that could come from the house equity she started to understand the situation in realistic terms.

I never planned for or counted on receiving anything from inheritance so as far as I’m concerned I want to use the house equity when that’s all that’s left to pay to let her stay in the house as long as possible????

I know it’s time for me to start calling professionals in this area of care to learn about my best options.

Good idea.
Most the better living centers won't take them if they are sick already so consider that. They are stealthy vague with the reasons but that's usually it.
Grandma in relatively good health at the time helped a lot.
Most the old German war hatchetts entered in their late 70's and they'll all live for a few decades more and they hold the thought that they don't have to worry about the Royal Air Force re arranging the neighborhood anymore.

 

[sirbob]

Good idea.
Most the better living centers won't take them if they are sick already so consider that. They are stealthy vague with the reasons but that's usually it.
Grandma in relatively good health at the time helped a lot.

Good point - reinforces the need to to talk to some professionals and fully understand the options...

 

[Sherpa]

I feel for you Namba. taking care of elderly parents can be hard. difficult.... my mom had alzheimers, and dementia. my sisters and myself were worried that people
would take advantage of mom. and in fact we found some instances that did happen. mom would get lost in her own neighborhood. rearended a parked UPS truck.

so, we were lucky to find a very nice secure care facility. literally blocks from her home. my oldest sister bared the brunt of taking care of mom the most. I live 200 miles away and my other sister lived way further. mom always felt like we put here in jail. she'd try breaking out every chance she got. the UTI thing also like mentioned before, made her a royal pita.

All I can say is try to be compassionate, and do the best for her as you are doing now..... I don't know If i'd mention all the money details to her like selling her house and
and whatnot, since she's just gonna fight you on that every step.

--Sherpa

 

[CJ_Donahue]

I’m about 1 step behind you...

Anybody have thoughts on a reverse mortgage to pull money from the house to pay for care?

Reverse mortgages have a very specific purpose. If there is a chance the owner can someday make it back home or can say in the home and a reverse mortgage is the only option OK but in 99 % cases I believe it is better just to sell.

 

[sirbob]

Reverse mortgages have a very specific purpose. If there is a chance the owner can someday make it back home or can say in the home and a reverse mortgage is the only option OK but in 99 % cases I believe it is better just to sell.

She is going to ha e no part in selling her house!

In all seriousness she would rather use all the equity and hope to does i the house before selling!

 

[TimeBandit]

Reverse mortgages have a very specific purpose. If there is a chance the owner can someday make it back home or can say in the home and a reverse mortgage is the only option OK but in 99 % cases I believe it is better just to sell.

Scam is the word that comes to mind. Sell if you need the money, only the bank wins on a reverse mortgage.

 

[Carlson-jet]

AZ has very specific laws about income and holdings before any state aid kicks in.
I was lucky my mom had a good retirement, some savings and SS.
The same applies to hospice sad to say.
As well, AZ. does not hold family responsible for any of those debts as long as you don't allow that to happen.
You will not be able to put any property in a trust within certain time limits. They will not come after it, and they will.

 

[DRYHEAT]

Thinking about this but want to do it the right way and not have someone come after us for doing the wrong thing

Make sure you get some legal advice, Arizona goes back five years and in some cases will charge the family with criminal fraud. One of my friends wife worked for DES/APS and this is how it was when she left. She’s been retired for quite a few years now so possibly the laws have changed. Prayers for your family.

 

[Flyinbowtie]

Well this is timely.
This past summer I've been prepping my Mom for moving in with us. She is no longer able to safely negotiate the 11 stairs up into her home of 40 years.
She is 89, and just in the past year or so has started to slow down. The move is set for November 1st.
I think there is no perfect solution for this dilemma that fits every family. You have to do what is right and within your means, and just follow your gut and your heart. I went through this 35 years ago with my Dad dying of cancer, with my grandmother, and now Mom. I helped with two good older friends who passed, and then my godfather two years ago...we helped his wife.
I am lucky that Mom has her marbles, but her body is failing her. She still drives short distances...for now.
Mom is one who has always absolutely put family first and cared for everyone, always, all her life. She has earned the place in our home in her final years.
My wife is fully on board.
Our plan is to move her in with us, and then move her with us after we have sold our home and hers next year. She will have her own little granny suite at the new place. We will keep her with us unless/until we can't do it any longer. My sister will fly out from Oklahoma to relieve us as necessary as long as she is able. My sister has MS.
This is the best solution for us, I really think you have to search your heart and gut for whatever is right for you, and then move forward as best you can. Just like kids, aging parents don't come with a operators manual, and ya have to move forward knowing that one day you will be the one needing help.

 

[DLC]

Namba I’m sorry your going thru this, it sucks getting old!

I can relate to what your dealing with. My dad lives with us and he has Alzheimers, he can’t function with out assistance going to bed, changing clothes, eating and the all important going to the banjo! It just sucks watching him decline and not being able to do anything about it. My dad doesn’t need 24/7 care but he could not be left alone for a night or all day if we were say at work all day. With Covid my wife & I have been able to trade off time working from home and look after him.

a few thing we have learned we are in Ca. I’m sure other states have similar regulations
the state can claw back and go after the family for any type transaction they deem fraudulent - quick claim, selling a home below market value, gifting cash etc
I believe the clawback is either 5 or 7 years.

if going to sell or transfer Realestate do it ASAP And get the clock ticking! Don’t wait for them to be on the last straw / dire straights and needing the cash - plan ahead so to speak! The problem with that is most older people don’t want to deal with that and can easily get spooked ( thinking your not looking out for their best interest ) when when this gets brought up and discussed. They are turning over any power / in dependance they have left.

if the family member has any type of assets they need to be depleted prior to the state stepping in with assistance, so it’s best that they don’t have anything in their name.

It all comes back to money and if there is a lack of money there should be a family plan for everyone when your family gets up in their final years and get sick and can not take care of them selves.



speak to a lawyer

 

[guest hs]

Well I had to call an ambulance to pick my Mom up today. A wound care person finally showed up to look at her feet. She has Gangrene on her left toes. They are going to amputate at least three of them.

 

[hallett21]

Praying for you you and your family


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[cole_skier]

Well I had to call an ambulance to pick my Mom up today. A wound care person finally showed up to look at her feet. She has Gangrene on her left toes. They are going to amputate at least three of them.

Sorry man [emoji120][emoji120]


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[Jay Dub]

Not sure where to start. In April my Step Moms health started declining. I made her go to the hospital because her left foot looked really discolored. Well she had a blood clot and was 4 units low on blood. Found out she had a tear in her colon. Probably from taking pain meds due to arthritis build up in her back waste area. She was in the hospital a while then got discharged and went home for a few days and then had to go back because she wasn’t feeling good. After being in there a while we found out she has really bad circulation to her toes and feet. We were told she was going to loose her toes and feet. She left the hospital around June and went in to a nursing, rehab facility. She was in there a few weeks and started to be combative with the employees there and I had to give her a heart to heart talk. She calmed down and about a week latter the facility was concerned that she would eat or take her meds and didn’t have much output. I made her go to the hospital again she had pneumonia and a couple other issues and she’s in for a couple more weeks. She gets out goes back to nursing home. Keep in mind she now can no longer walk due to being laid up so long in bed. I have another heart to heart with here and tell her she has 45 days to work really hard to make herself mobil again. Well she doesn’t progress anymore in that time frame and now her insurance is up at the facility and she came home yesterday. I hire an in home nurse 24 hours a day to take care of her. I meet her at her house to get her reaclimated to her surroundings. The facility doesn’t send her home with any meds and it’s been well over 24 hours and I’m still waiting for the RX to fill them. I get a call from the facility that’s taking care of her now and she is being difficult with the nurse. I go down there to get to the bottom of the issue and it’s just BS from my Mom. I have another heart to heart with here and explain to her it’s $20 an hour which is $480 a day which is $3360 a week and $13,440 a month. She had enough to to pay for two months out of her savings. At this rate I explain to her we have to sell her car and that might get her another 3 weeks of care and then after that we would have to sell her house and put her in a facility and pay for it out of the money from her house. My Dad worked his ass off so he could retire at 52 and her at 48 with a house paid for in Havasu with nice cars and a boat. Now all that’s going to just go to waste all that hard work he set them up for. My Dad died of Cancer 6 years ago. I don’t know what to do she can’t even get up to go to the toilet she has a catheter in and well you know what happens on the other end. All this and trying to build another business from scratch and my wife being let go from work from Covid. 2020 can go screw itself. I’m not sure if anyone has ever been through something like this any advice or encouragement would be great. A big thank you to all that have supported me this year.

I am very sorry Shane. This is tough. Keep taking small steps. God Bless

 

[monkeyswrench]

@namba860 , this is a tough read. My parents have both been gone for some time now. They didn't make it to a "facility", so I'm no help with that.
What I wanted to say is more relevant to your life and home. 8/9 years ago my Mom was losing a battle with cancer. I was splitting time between work, my own family and helping Mom. This was every day...and financially speaking, those were slim years. Almost lost my home, said goodbye to toys and cars... I was stressed to a point I couldn't have imagined. Somewhere in there I had another surgery myself...but had to get back to work and to help Mom.
Try not to make mistakes I did. Watch yourself and your actions. Things are effecting everyone involved, and in different ways.
It's a heavy burden, no doubt, but you aren't alone. Try to mire through it as best you can. That's all any of us can do.

 

[guest hs]

And the hits keep coming. Yesterday the hospital did some kind of dye test to find out where my Moms circulation is slowed down. From what I was told there’s a main blockage up by her left hip and now they are going to amputate her entire leg. SMH