Private School (Christian) or Public School...

[Chris Lapoint]

So here is my big debate... since we moved up north to Tulare, CA from down south Bellflower, CA my 13 y/o daughter left her middle school (7th) and started at a new middle school for (8th) up north, as this school year is coming to an end she will head down south to be with her mom for the summer, she has lately started to say that she might want to go back to the school she was at before down south for highschool and live with her mom during the school year (This is not an option - if I have anything to do with it) but she mentions that she "might" want to stay up north and go to this private school that most of her local friends go to, my lady went to private school K-12 and states that it was the biggest waste of her parents money and it was all just fake bull shit, I have no problem investing in my daughters future even if it is at the cost of $9,700 a year... this task would be a pretty large strain on our financial situation, but we could swing it. (YAY TEENAGERS!)

Lets here it.

 

[ArizonaKevin]

Public school kid here. IMO involved parents and a driven kid are more important than anything. You could take a driven kid with good parents and put them in a shitty school in south central and they would still find a way to excel. Take an undriven kid with shitty parents and put them at the most expensive school in the country and they will still struggle.

The only benefit that I can see with private schools is it gives the parents a little more control over the groups of kids that their kids will be friends with.

 

[musicFunsun]

High school is a very difficult time for many kids and being with her friends might help. If you can afford it, I’d seriously consider it since that’s what she wants. On another note, kids can get a great education at public and private schools, I believe, with parents involvement, help and encouragement. Just my .02.

 

[ChasingPaper]

I couldn't disagree more with your lady. I do feel though that it depends on the actual school. I grew up going to private school, but wasn't a rich private school kid, my dad was actually the principal. In the middle of my sophomore year of high school I transferred to public school to play on a more legit football and baseball team. I can tell you that I didn't learn a single thing in public school. Every single one of my friends from private school have great careers and families and most of the public school friends don't and in fact I distanced myself from them after school because I wanted to insure that I was around successful motivated people. I do believe that it does have a lot to do with the parents being involved and pushing the kids to do well and take school seriously, but the education at my private schools was much better. I feel like I run circles around coworkers my age and so do the others I went to private school with. Then again my parents were hard on me and taught me work ethic and respect.....Have your child go to a reputable private school and stay involved with their education and I think you'll have a winner! You're already miles ahead considering this is an important subject for you and your family.

 

[Socalx09]

Depending on the public school district- private school could be a an option. But, I agree that private school is a lot of money especially if you are in a good school district. There are a lot of smart kids in private school/public school, and there are not so smart kids in public/private school. At the end of the day, it is up to the kid if they are motivated or not to learn. This sounds more friend motivated. Maybe mention you have no problem driving her to hang out with her friends, or even see if she is interesting in whatever sport her local friends are playing after school. She will still see them that way? How is your school district?

 

[HALLETT BOY]

Schools these days seem to be overly progressive, I would consider that foremost . If you are comfortable with that , then go for it . I would do whatever it takes to not let my kids go to a school system like LAUSD . Do your research .

 

[Chris Lapoint]

So a little more info, she has more awards then I can count and is in the top 1% of the school kids K-8 in Tulare City more then 10,000 kids. She currently has a 4.3 GPA and absolutely kills it in school and would do the same no matter where she lives. My lady wasn't a rich kid either, her dad was an owner/operator truck driver who put all three of his kids K-12 through SoCal private school with a stay at home mom, she might be slightly skewed because she was a killer student but not a popular one...wrong last name at the school to be part of the cool kids, but she is 25 with her masters degree in social work from SDSU and is straight killing it in life.

 

[ChasingPaper]

Sounds like you’re doing a great job already! Your child will probably succeed no matter where she goes with that type of drive! Buy a new boat instead and use it for family time! Lol


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[Chris Lapoint]

Sounds like you’re doing a great job already! Your child will probably succeed no matter where she goes with that type of drive! Buy a new boat instead and use it for family time! Lol


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Likely the opposite would happen, the flat bottom would go bye bye to cover a couple years of school.

 

[BHC Vic]

I did 2 years at a private highschool 2 years at public. When I get more time later I’ll edit this post with my thoughts.

 

[Shlbyntro]

I'm a public school kid. (went to El Dorado in Placentia.) My sister was a private school kid. (went to Orange Lutheran). We grew up in the same household FWIW.

I'm the successful one and she is more or less the one that struggles though she has finally been starting to do better in recent years.

I agree with the south central comment. Good kids will excel regardless. A want for knowledge is all it takes regardless of the school. The only problem I have with public school is when it comes to teaching government and politics, I think the public school system is extremely biased in that regard. Not that I'm not biased myself but even as a teenager I couldn't believe some of the crap they tought.

School is school. Kids will likely change groups of friends multiple times through high school whether they change schools or not.

I say go with whatever school makes for the most stable home enviroment, that's the important part that really makes for the best education. Not how expensive the school is, or whether its public or private.

 

[Cole Trickle]

It's gotta be tough transitioning to a completely new school at her age. I understand why she wants to stay where she is or go to a private school where she has established friends.

My parents moved me from a private school to public in 7th grade when they divorced....Lets just say it took a while to get with the program socially as groups and circles are pretty well established. Young kids make friends fast but it plays hell on teenagers and that was 100 years ago when life was simple.

 

[Rbcconst]

1 vote for public school! Private school is a waist of money. I do my best not to give my kids any kind of sheltered life as it’s not what real life is. I feel like public school prepares them best for the real world.


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[Orange Juice]

So a little more info, she has more awards then I can count and is in the top 1% of the school kids K-8 in Tulare City more then 10,000 kids. She currently has a 4.3 GPA and absolutely kills it in school and would do the same no matter where she lives. My lady wasn't a rich kid either, her dad was an owner/operator truck driver who put all three of his kids K-12 through SoCal private school with a stay at home mom, she might be slightly skewed because she was a killer student but not a popular one...wrong last name at the school to be part of the cool kids, but she is 25 with her masters degree in social work from SDSU and is straight killing it in life.

She sounds very smart. She might be smarter than you in many way...not all.
If she’s going to college, I’d want her to focus on college prep coarse work.

I went to public k-12, and a private college. Looking back, 80% of my teachers in K-12 we’re not the best teachers, and I was not the best student.
My college professors were the complete opposite. 80% were spot on the best.
If it were me, and my kid had the skills and attitude to accel scholastically, I’d work overtime, and sell the boat if necessary, to make a private school happen.

 

[Bear Down]

1 vote for public school! Private school is a waist of money.

Uhh... Private School vote here.... LMAO... Sorry , just had too!

 

[Bobby V]

So here is my big debate... since we moved up north to Tulare, CA from down south Bellflower, CA my 13 y/o daughter left her middle school (7th) and started at a new middle school for (8th) up north, as this school year is coming to an end she will head down south to be with her mom for the summer, she has lately started to say that she might want to go back to the school she was at before down south for highschool and live with her mom during the school year (This is not an option - if I have anything to do with it) but she mentions that she "might" want to stay up north and go to this private school that most of her local friends go to, my lady went to private school K-12 and states that it was the biggest waste of her parents money and it was all just fake bull shit, I have no problem investing in my daughters future even if it is at the cost of $9,700 a year... this task would be a pretty large strain on our financial situation, but we could swing it. (YAY TEENAGERS!)

Lets here it.

I went to Bellflower High School many years ago and my neighbor went to St. John Bosco. We both ended up doing ok and we both live near each other in Yorba Linda. His mom just had to pay more $$$. lol

 

[Bear Down]

School is school. Kids will likely change groups of friends multiple times through high school whether they change schools or not.

.

I agree with this statement ^^^^ I went to a public grade and middles School and Private high School... I was really prepared for College and really didn't skip a beat... I wanted to go to a private school, so parents supported me on that and probably helped. I also have 3 nieces/nephews who all went to public schools and are all Doctors or have a Doctorate, but again, I didn't accumulate $250k worth of debt... So whos smarter, IDK, but we are all great humans...

 

[Rbcconst]

Uhh... Private School vote here.... LMAO... Sorry , just had too!

I guess the real question now is can you really trust a bears fan?


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[Rattle Can Lou]

I went to public school and graduated in 71..so times were different. I sent my two sons to a private Christian School. My two grandsons are in the same school I sent my boys to. There is no comparison in education. Both my boys are successful and my two grandsons are killing it (9 and 7). It was hard money to spend when my boys were going..I didn't drive new cars and my boats were old also. These boys are getting a great foundation for life and they are learning about the Constitution and the wars we've been in...and no Left Wing agenda...it's fantastic to watch. I also have two grand daughters in public school and it kills me...but my wife and I can't do anything about it..Parents don't want to spend the money...I can see the difference in them. I'm not kidding you either...and they are the same age as our boys.

 

[HNL2LHC]

There are good and bad of both public and private schools. There are benefits to a good private school but that will come at a price. It is hard to say which would be better. I have seen kids from a crappy public school do better than a kid at the best private school. There is not a simple answer it depends on a lot of variables.

As for our family we felt that we wanted to give our son a portion of his inheritance in advance and give him a good foundation for his life. We spent a significant amount of money for K-12 and college. Now that he is out of college and working it is clear that it was worth every penny. He is such a well rounded young man with goals and friends that are going places. Not the typical millennial kids who sit at home in the parent’s basement playing video games.

Personally I’d rather send my child to a good public school rather than an ok private school. You can spend the money saved supplementing the public school education.

No matter which direction it will still take time as a parent to keep them on track.

Good luck!!!

 

[PlumLoco]

Public school until HS, then my public school teacher parents decided that they "didn't like what they saw" happening at the local HS so I was moved to Notre Dame, Riverside over a summer. I should have played football as it would have helped me make friends faster but I was all in with MX and swimming which tiny ND didn't offer.
Looking back I think the schools are similar, as they both had stoners, jocks, needs, drama geeks etc. Good and bad teachers in both places. Now I am a teacher with 25 years at a model continuation school and raising both a genius level kid, and a rebel asshole kid at home.
My take is that parental involvement and high expectations are what determines student success, much more than the schools do. We also withdrew our kids from the local schools, opting for a Montessori based charter school as the public's weren't adapting to my two sons' needs. We moved them around quite a bit until we found the right fit. They are both thriving now, the youngest is a sophomore, the older one in a local junior college.

 

[farmo83]

If you live in a good public school district I'm for that route. My wife was K-12 private school and I was K-12 public. Through interactions with my wife, her friends and a few events I've gone to at their school our children won't be going there. In my mind it's a bubble and does not prepare kids for how the real world is. My wife will openly admit this as well. The offset to this is as has been mentioned before you can more control over your kids environment. In my mind I view at as more important for my kids to be able to interact with people from all different walks of life.

 

[Bear Down]

I guess the real question now is can you really trust a bears fan?


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If you went to a private school you'd know the answer... LOL... You can always trust this Bear Fan! Unless you're a Packer fan then all bets are off..

 

[MCnParker]

Just a thought, have you reached out to the Private School and shared that your daughter is interested in attending, however you have concerns over the financial aspects? With her GPA and drive there very well could be substantial support available for her to entice you to have her attend the school.

 

[HNL2LHC]

I went to public school and graduated in 71..so times were different. I sent my two sons to a private Christian School. My two grandsons are in the same school I sent my boys to. There is no comparison in education. Both my boys are successful and my two grandsons are killing it (9 and 7). It was hard money to spend when my boys were going..I didn't drive new cars and my boats were old also. These boys are getting a great foundation for life and they are learning about the Constitution and the wars we've been in...and no Left Wing agenda...it's fantastic to watch. I also have two grand daughters in public school and it kills me...but my wife and I can't do anything about it..Parents don't want to spend the money...I can see the difference in them. I'm not kidding you either...and they are the same age as our boys.

It will all come out in the wash. The exact same thing happened between our son and his cousins. It is sad but the family became split the two sides could not really see eye to eye on things as the years went by.

 

[Rbcconst]

If you went to a private school you'd know the answer... LOL... You can always trust this Bear Fan! Unless you're a Packer fan then all bets are off..

We pay extra to have the packers games blocked from our TV.


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[fmo24]

Private school 1-8 th grade then public high school as I swam and played water polo. Freshman year we seemed to be redoing my eighth grade lessons. It sucked as a kid going to private school when most of my friends went to local public but now looking back it gave me a huge head start in high school

 

[Bear Down]

With her GPA and drive there very well could be substantial support available for her to entice you to have her attend the school.

There are always scholarships private schools will give... They would love a student like your daughter to add to the line up of great students...

 

[Bear Down]

We pay extra to have the packers games blocked from our TV.


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+10 for your public school education....

 

[Chris Lapoint]

Just a thought, have you reached out to the Private School and shared that your daughter is interested in attending, however you have concerns over the financial aspects? With her GPA and drive there very well could be substantial support available for her to entice you to have her attend the school.

That is the next step, we have quite a few family friends whom's kids attend this school and it is a process to get her into this school but there isn't a single thing on this planet that I wouldn't do ensure she receives the best life I can provide. There is more to the story about why heading back down south would be a huge step backwards (environment & support) She moved willingly up north for the last 12 months and her mom let her go without a fight, but she is the type of I will do whatever she wants to do (instead of actually parenting) they are more friends then anything and she would lose ALL of her structure and support that she currently has (since I am not down south anymore to do this) The whole transition has been tough for everyone but I am doing my best to not let his come to a court battle but if it becomes necessary so be it.

 

[TPC]

So here is my big debate... since we moved up north to Tulare, CA from down south Bellflower, CA my 13 y/o daughter left her middle school (7th) and started at a new middle school for (8th) up north, as this school year is coming to an end she will head down south to be with her mom for the summer, she has lately started to say that she might want to go back to the school she was at before down south for highschool and live with her mom during the school year (This is not an option - if I have anything to do with it) but she mentions that she "might" want to stay up north and go to this private school that most of her local friends go to, my lady went to private school K-12 and states that it was the biggest waste of her parents money and it was all just fake bull shit, I have no problem investing in my daughters future even if it is at the cost of $9,700 a year... this task would be a pretty large strain on our financial situation, but we could swing it. (YAY TEENAGERS!)

Lets here it.

The waste of money take has crossed my mind and I get it. We gave the last private school about $37.700 each year in tuition + fees and a donation of $10K more each year to spend on anything they wanted. That made me a beneficiary and I got to rub elbows at parties with many of the top movers and shakers in sports, show business and industry. Something I don't care for nor need when you have RD and Bildoe for friends.

What triggered my reasons for the last child being placed in Private school was this:
Our local public schools lunch areas and the between class transfer times the school became a prison yard of thugs.
So many the bad kids had to be lined up and marched from class to class and eat in a segregated area. Around 15%.
If the bad kids could take a cheap shot at a normal kid they did, and would in class. Chaos and fights everyday, all the time.

So we put him in private school.

Our child Maynard was in the top 3 highest honor roll grade kids in school. Separated by just .0001% fraction points from the top.
We encountered bad teachers with no recourse. They have some stinkers. He was hospitalized for 6 months and the school wouldn't support him academically. Plus racist black teachers.
Maynard had 2 USC full college credit classes at age 14 Neuro science and physics and Sierra Canyon wasn't supportive and crapped on that program too.

Many families there only spent their wealth on things that show. My wife and I keep a poor door. We don't flash our money. This leads to affluent bullying from spoiled kids and it's nasty.
Kids being dropped off in Lexus & Bentleys, I dropped off Maynard in a new GMC dually. We were labeled for it and not in a flattering way. This crap went on and on deeper and deeper.

We got so sick of the school we finally put Maynard in a charter style public school where the kids have to pull top grades to attend. Free and excellent results no drama nor racism.
The schools Marxist attitude is the world owes me a living, but the education is good and zero drama and colleges like the schools rep and the transcripts are every bit as good as private school. And that's a BFD.

Just one families experiences. I'm sure others have glowing reviews.

 

[BajaMike]

Private school! Most of the public schools today don’t teach much real education and the kids and the teachers fill their brains with mush.....or worse.

I went to Catholic schools through 10th grade then transferred to our public high school near my home. I was so far ahead of most of the students, I never did homework and ditched a lot classes, got all As and Bs and easily into college. My kids did the same, and graduated from the same high school (Riverside Poly) that I did.

Most private schools give your kids a great educational foundation that the public schools do not. They get the tools they need to get through life.

 

[Waterjunky]

My son will be attending private school as he gets older. The regional public school in the delta ranks somewhere around the 20th %...... No thank you. They spend most of their time learning political indoctrination and trying to teach in non-English format with little effort on real education. At least with a private school I can go somewhere else if I don't like what I am seeing.
I have friends that are social workers and have come to realize something about them as a whole. It is truly beaten into them about how great the public system is and all private systems are evil and just rob money from the poor desperate local schools. Many of them love to preach about how you are victimizing the entire community by not sending you kid to the poorest, underperforming, corrupt local schools. Its kind of funny actually listening to them regurgitate and justify the brainwashing they subscribed to in that profession. They are still good people, just fully indoctrinated on stuff like this.

My undergraduate education was geared to become a High school Ag teacher. I made it well into the credential program before I realized just how corrupt and damaged the entire system is. When I say something bad about the public system many come back with "you don't know what you are talking about", well, yea, actually I do and its just gross. I have some very good friends that are teachers and are wonderful people but the overall system is dominated by a few incredibly agenda driven people at the state level and many, not all, but many at a local level are fully on board with the utterly failed system we have. But hey, we just haven't dumped enough money into it or we just haven gone far enough down the rabbit hole to reach the promised land yet.
That being said there are some great public schools and some terrible private or charter schools. Just got to do a little homework on your own as to which is a best fit.

 

[oldschool]

I'm assuming you're talking about sending her to CVC? One thing I know about CVC is there's a lot of money there and the kids can afford better drugs. Both my daughters went to public school in Visalia, Divisadero MS and Mt. Whitney HS. My oldest continued on at COS and is now at UCLA. MY point is, she attended every public school available and ended up doing well enough to go to a great university. It has more to do with their drive and desire, IMHO.

 

[Dirtbag]

whether its worth it or not solely depends on the curriculum of the school imo. Not all private schools are created equal. Having hundreds of kids going to private schools in orange county over the last 10 years I can tell you without a doubt each school is different. Orange Lutheran top of my list, Servite HS, are very different and then you have a school like Mater Dei. Santa Margarita is another top notch academic school. The curriculum at OLU is off the charts. And every kid I have had go there has left OLU loving every second of their time there. I wish i had the money to send my kids there.

 

[Chris Lapoint]

I'm assuming you're talking about sending her to CVC? One thing I know about CVC is there's a lot of money there and the kids can afford better drugs. Both my daughters went to public school in Visalia, Divisadero MS and Mt. Whitney HS. My oldest continued on at COS and is now at UCLA. MY point is, she attended every public school available and ended up doing well enough to go to a great university. It has more to do with their drive and desire, IMHO.

Yeah it would be CVC and yes money seems to be a "thing" there, I am not in the same situation as most of the people who's kids go there, we have some close friends who's kids are same age that attend the school I'd say they are sheltered some but since mine has not been to a private school yet and dealing with split homes as shes grown up she is well versed common sense and real life struggle/success and unfortunately has been exposed to more then most adults although not my proudest moments but being a young parent it came with the territory, I would not be to concerned with the school keeping her from the real world - as far as the drugs/partying side of things at this point she's showed zero interest in anything at this point. I don't keep much from her as I want her to understand that there is a real shitty world out there and that preparation for that is a must.

 

[oldschool]

Yeah it would be CVC and yes money seems to be a "thing" there, I am not in the same situation as most of the people who's kids go there, we have some close friends who's kids are same age that attend the school I'd say they are sheltered some but since mine has not been to a private school yet and dealing with split homes as shes grown up she is well versed common sense and real life struggle/success and unfortunately has been exposed to more then most adults although not my proudest moments but being a young parent it came with the territory, I would not be to concerned with the school keeping her from the real world - as far as the drugs/partying side of things at this point she's showed zero interest in anything at this point. I don't keep much from her as I want her to understand that there is a real shitty world out there and that preparation for that is a must.

If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much. What public HS would she be at in Tulare?

 

[TPC]

Also, If your child is active in traveling sports or dance or show biz does the school accomode that? Hollywood requires a teacher on set. That teacher need cooperation from the child's school or the child can lose getting the part.
It's a BFD.

In the Los Angeles Archdiocese, certain schools are designated that accomodate show biz and traveling kids.
Alemany no, Chaminade yes. Schools that do usually have a much tougher academic grind.

In Ven County Oaks Christian, sometimes.

 

[Chris Lapoint]

If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much. What public HS would she be at in Tulare?

Union HS, which she is already pre-registered for and was able to pick all of the honors classes and electives that she wanted.
And my old lady is dutch, now you can see the connection haha.

 

[oldschool]

Union HS, which she is already pre-registered for and was able to pick all of the honors classes and electives that she wanted.
And my old lady is dutch, now you can see the connection haha.

You're half way there. Sounds like she's going to do well wherever she goes.

 

[oldschool]

Also, If your child is active in traveling sports or dance or show biz does the school accomode that? Hollywood requires a teacher on set. That teacher need cooperation from the child's school or the child can lose getting the part.
It's a BFD.

In the Los Angeles Archdiocese, certain schools are designated that accomodate show biz and traveling kids.
Alemany no, Chaminade yes. Schools that do usually have a much tougher academic grind.

In Ven County Oaks Christian, sometimes.

X2. My youngest finished her senior year through an online school because she was gone several days a week working . The public school could not work with that.

 

[Bobby V]

Union HS, which she is already pre-registered for and was able to pick all of the honors classes and electives that she wanted.
And my old lady is dutch, now you can see the connection haha.

What High School would she be going to back in So Cal. BHS or Mayfair. Valley Christian is close by and it used to be mainly Dutch.

 

[t&y]

Didn't read everything. My $.02 on the subject. We've put all our kids through private school from K - 8. 3 are still in, soon to be only 2. Oldest is finishing up her first year in public High School. It has been great for her and we have zero thought of continuing our other three through private school once they hit 9 the grade. Nothing against private or public schools. It has everything to do with your location and what schools are available.

 

[Outdrive1]

Heres my experience. My son went to private grade school and then to St Mary’s Catholic high school. He graduated from ASU. My daughter went to public school and public high school and never went any further. I really feel the private high schools prepare these kids for the next level.


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[Chris Lapoint]

What High School would she be going to back in So Cal. BHS or Mayfair. Valley Christian is close by and it used to be mainly Dutch.

She would want to go to Mayfair, my lady went to Valley K-12.

 

[RiverDave]

So here is my big debate... since we moved up north to Tulare, CA from down south Bellflower, CA my 13 y/o daughter left her middle school (7th) and started at a new middle school for (8th) up north, as this school year is coming to an end she will head down south to be with her mom for the summer, she has lately started to say that she might want to go back to the school she was at before down south for highschool and live with her mom during the school year (This is not an option - if I have anything to do with it) but she mentions that she "might" want to stay up north and go to this private school that most of her local friends go to, my lady went to private school K-12 and states that it was the biggest waste of her parents money and it was all just fake bull shit, I have no problem investing in my daughters future even if it is at the cost of $9,700 a year... this task would be a pretty large strain on our financial situation, but we could swing it. (YAY TEENAGERS!)

Lets here it.

Only going off this post, I think I'd go private school if it was me.. I'm sure what we don't know about the situation / town / schools etc.. could fill a pretty good sized book. I went to private school & I went to public schools. Private was generally better.

RD

 

[TCHB]

I am a private school supporter. Take a look at graduation stats for Mater Dei. The data tells a great story. Good luck.

 

[530RL]

In general, people including kids will typically "work" to the level of their competition. And greater and tougher competition makes one better than they would be without that competition.

One of the benefits of private schools, or high academic charter schools is that the competition (other students) are highly motivated, or highly talented, or generally more driven, or a combination of all of these.

The result is that children in these environments, typically not just learn more, but learn how to compete with higher levels of competition. You can see people pointing that out in several posts where they state they went from public to private and were behind, or went from private to public and could rest on their laurels.

At the end of the day, life and work is just like school. Those who are more prepared, have better discipline, have better skills, in general end up doing better.

So why not put the kid in a challenging school; as they will learn not just more book stuff, but better skills to compete, regardless of their underlying basic abilities.

 

[Wizard29]

Uhh... Private School vote here.... LMAO... Sorry , just had too!

That was funny and a nice catch, but stones in glass houses?

 

[oldschool]

You can do your very best for them, but at the end of the day, some go to Harvard and some go to prison.