Parenting/what would u do question

[McRib]

@Tom I think my reaction would have been not as amplified had the teacher gone to the principle first instead of the athorities. Is she got no satisfaction from her boss then by all means call the cops. Once the cops r involved u can't stop it. It now has to takes it's course unless she stops everything. She lives in Ontario and called opd about it who in turn gave it to Fontana PD who ran with it. It was an out of control fire before n e thing could be done on a parent principle teacher level.

I was more pissed and worried for my sons future. As well as my wallet. We live in a letigous (sp) world and I'd say she could prob come after us with a civil suit for emotional stress or some other bs suit. My sons actions have/could effect the entire family adversly cause of a stupid phone call that blew up like Chernobyl.

To answers lues question. No she is not hot. She's a frumpy homebody that dresses like fat girl with a complex.

 

[McRib]

What I meant to say was: My Beach chair Parenting advise is worth what ya paid for it.

Didn't mean to paint with a broad brush.
I'm the first to chime in here looking for guidance from the RDP Jury.

No need to explain brotha. I got what u were sayin. I was just sayin I don't have to listen to those that would be negative. That the best part of this place. The annonimity keeps us all from causin to much hate and disconntent

 

[Yellowboat]

you need to stick too your guns, if you say something, you need to mean it.

 

[Lue]

To answers lues question. No she is not hot. She's a frumpy homebody that dresses like fat girl with a complex.

There you have it HW. She got her hopes up with the prank calls and when the boys didn't deliver, she's going all out.

Good luck man. Sounds like you have a couple of decent boys. They'll be boys, too bad the system will make a case out of such a stupid youngster mistake.

 

[DaveC]

the teacher sounds like a fag hag.

you should tell your son you were going to buy him a real nice expensive gift for his bday but cant now cuz you need to spend the $$'s on his attorney instead. Make sure you imbellish the size of the gift

that'll teach doucher

 

[mbrown2]

I should probably mention I'm not a parent.

That relieves some of my doubt about the future generation...

 

[Classic Daycruiser]

What ever you do, don't buy him a cell phone for his birthday

 

[Tremor Therapy]

First and foremost, what the kid did was wrong. Complaints about the consequences after the fact are just sorry grapes. If he had not done this then he would not find himself in this position, end of the story. I'm not condoning anyones actions in this matter, but complaining about the consequences isn't going to get him anywhere.

My daughter ran afoul of our rules 3 days before her 13th birthday party. We had a big deal planned with about 20 of her friends, carne asada, a sleep over, and an all expenses paid Disneyland trip the next day with 5 of her fiends. After her fiasco, we cancelled everything, and she got a birthday card with nothing. She is 17 and is still mad about that birthday, but I was not going to bend on that rule. She was warned about the behavior leading up to that day, and she decided to push the envelope. But like I told her, sorry you ended up in the paper shredder, but you knew what the consequences would be before you did that!

 

[dspracing]

I don't know how her feelings are towards him but maybe make him sincerely apologize to the teacher and exchange classroom duties after school/during lunch/saturday whatever for her dropping the charges. I think spending time with the lady daily instead of with his buddies would hit him hard as well as give him plenty of time to think about what he did. He may even he see who she really is and then actually feel bad about what he did

 

[mbrown2]

Its hard to fault the kid when everyday I hear Richard/Sal do this shit to another level on the Stern show...the kid was wrong and needs to be pushished but unless it was threat of harm it really sounds like the teacher is trying to get more mileage than necessary...

[video=youtube;ks-kh4cld0s]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks-kh4cld0s"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks-kh4cld0s[/video]

[video=youtube;6cv-ucwzezg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cv-ucwzezg"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cv-ucwzezg[/video]

[video=youtube;TjQFvutYqno]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjQFvutYqno"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjQFvutYqno[/video]

 

[McRib]

First and foremost, what the kid did was wrong. Complaints about the consequences after the fact are just sorry grapes. If he had not done this then he would not find himself in this position, end of the story. I'm not condoning anyones actions in this matter, but complaining about the consequences isn't going to get him anywhere.

My daughter ran afoul of our rules 3 days before her 13th birthday party. We had a big deal planned with about 20 of her friends, carne asada, a sleep over, and an all expenses paid Disneyland trip the next day with 5 of her fiends. After her fiasco, we cancelled everything, and she got a birthday card with nothing. She is 17 and is still mad about that birthday, but I was not going to bend on that rule. She was warned about the behavior leading up to that day, and she decided to push the envelope. But like I told her, sorry you ended up in the paper shredder, but you knew what the consequences would be before you did that!

not complaining about the consequences. Just suprised it got this far with court and policemen Etc etc. Diappointed that it was taken this far. He will/is payin for his retardedness. I was just wondering what others would do about the bday situation. The law is the law. I can't stop that but I am in full control of every bit of the rest of the outcome

 

[McRib]

I don't know how her feelings are towards him but maybe make him sincerely apologize to the teacher and exchange classroom duties after school/during lunch/saturday whatever for her dropping the charges. I think spending time with the lady daily instead of with his buddies would hit him hard as well as give him plenty of time to think about what he did. He may even he see who she really is and then actually feel bad about what he did

Victim is a JR high music teacher. Prankster is a 10 grader in a diff school. This teacher has never seen or met my son. The douchebag kid that dared my son to make the call is the architect in this Retarded situation it's his teacher and it was that kid who had the number.

I wanna know why the fock teachers r giving there cell numbers to students n e ways

 

[Tom Brown]

Victim is a JR high music teacher. Prankster is a 10 grader in a diff school. This teacher has never seen or met my son.

This information changes my view on this. I would have called the cops on him too, were I thinking with her vagina.

The douchebag kid that dared my son to make the call is the architect in this Retarded situation it's his teacher and it was that kid who had the number.

I'm not sure that's relevant here.

I wanna know why the fock teachers r giving there cell numbers to students n e ways

I feel bad for your son but it's hardly your teacher's fault your son did something stupid. You don't blame a victim for walking in front of a bullet. Come on, man. He's a kid who did something moronic. It's not the end of the world. Own it and move on.

 

[C-2]

I work with legal counsel who respresents about 30-40 school districts throughout SoCal. I have seen and worked on many cases like this.

Want my opinion based on what you've put up, even if it costs me a few beers tiomorrow night, lol?

 

[Ziggy]

IMHO if you want to leave a lasting impression on your son so he will reconsider before doing something dumb again you have to stick to your guns and kill the birthday partying, like Tremor Therapy's method.

 

[McRib]

Trust me Tom I agree with u. I still gotta vent and drag this uptight hosebeast thru the mud with me. Imma sore loser

 

[Wmc]

Kids these day

 

[McRib]

I work with legal counsel who respresents about 30-40 school districts throughout SoCal. I have seen and worked on many cases like this.

Want my opinion based on what you've put up, even if it costs me a few beers tiomorrow night, lol?

I'd be more than happy to buy a few for some professional insight

 

[Wendi]

McRib I think you've done the right thing thus far. You punished him and you reached out to the teacher and apologized. I think this teacher should have talked to the Principle first and brought you, Norma and doucher in. I don't understand why that did not happen when it was over sexual comments. Now comments like "terrorist threats" or "I'm gonna come over and kill you" that would be my first phone call, the police. I'm sure doucher will NEVER do this again and will learn from this awful mistake, I think you know that too.

In regards to your concern about throwing/not throwing his 16th Birthday. I think you should. Continue his punishment up to the day, have family over, celebrate his 16, than once it is over back to his punishment. If your saying that he is going to have to do community service than that is going to be punishment as well.

I think before too many days go by, doucher should write an apology to the teacher and cc: the principle of both schools or whoever at the school is involved.

 

[Cole Trickle]

McRib I think you've done the right thing thus far. You punished him and you reached out to the teacher and apologized. I think this teacher should have talked to the Principle first and brought you, Norma and doucher in. I don't understand why that did not happen when it was over sexual comments. Now comments like "terrorist threats" or "I'm gonna come over and kill you" that would be my first phone call, the police. I'm sure doucher will NEVER do this again and will learn from this awful mistake, I think you know that too.

In regards to your concern about throwing/not throwing his 16th Birthday. I think you should. Continue his punishment up to the day, have family over, celebrate his 16, than once it is over back to his punishment. If your saying that he is going to have to do community service than that is going to be punishment as well.

I think before too many days go by, doucher should write an apology to the teacher and cc: the principle of both schools or whoever at the school is involved.

What about finding a happy middle ground.....

Have a birthday party for him and only invite the family. No friends/no huge $$$ deal.(just loving $$$ members)

I wouldn't be going all P-Diddy with live entertainment and a new viper.

We have all done stupid shit...... Tell him leaving messages for teachers and hanging out with kids 3 + years younger than him makes him a doucher

 

[C-2]

First, Hwlaser you’re doing the right thing by maintaining your cool with the district.

The teacher did not overreact and nothing is being blown out of proportion.

She took an appropriate course of action by contacting the PD – she’s a teacher, not a detective and that’s what any reasonable female would do. Unless Doucher left his name and callback number she did not know who made the call and whether or not she was dealing with a prank – or a bonafide creep.

Even if she found out it was a student and reported it to the principal first – the same course of action would have taken place. No principal would sweep it under the carpet and deal with it internally – in fact I’m sure they would be breaking district policy by doing so.

Most likely there is/was a lot of behind the scenes activity taking place between administration, legal counsel for the district, possibly a teacher’s union attorney and the police – more so than you will ever know about. Thousands of dollars, even tens of thousands of dollars can be spent on an incident like this.

If the district does not go balls out to protect their teacher – they open themselves up to all kinds of claims the teacher could file against the district. A hyper-sensitive female teacher receiving sexually explicit VM’s from a student – that’s gotta make some district people nervous.

Trust me, had you not stepped up to accept responsibility – this whole deal would have went further south. Good job.

-------

And I’m like ColeTrickle – my 16th came and went without anything accept a disclaimer that I had only 2 years left before I could go to jail. Thanks mom and dad :fingers:

 

[Wendi]

What about finding a happy middle ground.....

Have a birthday party for him and only invite the family. No friends/no huge $$$ deal.(just loving $$$ members)

I wouldn't be going all P-Diddy with live entertainment and a new viper.

We have all done stupid shit...... Tell him leaving messages for teachers and hanging out with kids 3 + years younger than him makes him a doucher

Perfect :thumbsup

 

[PVHCA]

Andrew let me start by saying I feel what your feeling, I am going through a similar situation with the GF's son, I posted it on PB last week. First of all as you have stated Doucher is responsible for his actions and will be punished by you, the party is secondary to what could become an issue for you as you have stated. IMO talk with th commanding officer in Fontana and Ontario, maybe they can broker some type of meeting with the teacher, she probably just needs to calm down and realize that it was a prank. I am not making light of what she is dealing with, none of us know if she's been harrassed in the past by others so it maybe a sensitive issue with her so she's using your son to set an example. I have a feeling the judge IF it ever gets that far will give your son a severe ass chewing and hopefully scare the shit out of him and explain that he must respect his elders. Remind him how his mom would feel if the shoe was on her foot.

I have a feeling that this will blow over relatively calm, I hope so that's for sure because I agree with you that no harm was intended, we've all done prank calls and never did your boy intend on this becoming a roaring fire.

If your able show the police that you are not taking this lightly and that you have punished him justly and will have Doucher do what they think is a proper apology I think they will try and work with you in resolving this not so harmful prank.

I have a friend on the F.P.D. that maybe able to help, he also has a teacher for a wife so maybe that can help.

 

[Cole Trickle]

Maybe I'm old school. When I did something wrong (grey area..lol but Dad the teacher is an asshole...smack :smackbum I got my ass kicked. I wasn't as much of a hard ass on my kids, but when they did something wrong they knew shit was coming down. There was no happy medium. Wrong is wrong. Fix that shit now or suffer the consequences later imo.

I've seen kids where I live rule their domain. Fuck that. Kids yelling and cussing at their parents, telling their parents what to do, demanding shit and getting it, ignoring their parents, etc. Not while I'm breathing.

Maybe thats why I'm an asshole? :fingers:

Nope...The Black socks make you an asshole

 

[rivermobster]

I work with legal counsel who respresents about 30-40 school districts throughout SoCal. I have seen and worked on many cases like this.

Want my opinion based on what you've put up, even if it costs me a few beers tiomorrow night, lol?

First, Hwlaser you’re doing the right thing by maintaining your cool with the district.

The teacher did not overreact and nothing is being blown out of proportion.

She took an appropriate course of action by contacting the PD – she’s a teacher, not a detective and that’s what any reasonable female would do. Unless Doucher left his name and callback number she did not know who made the call and whether or not she was dealing with a prank – or a bonafide creep.

Even if she found out it was a student and reported it to the principal first – the same course of action would have taken place. No principal would sweep it under the carpet and deal with it internally – in fact I’m sure they would be breaking district policy by doing so.

Most likely there is/was a lot of behind the scenes activity taking place between administration, legal counsel for the district, possibly a teacher’s union attorney and the police – more so than you will ever know about. Thousands of dollars, even tens of thousands of dollars can be spent on an incident like this.

If the district does not go balls out to protect their teacher – they open themselves up to all kinds of claims the teacher could file against the district. A hyper-sensitive female teacher receiving sexually explicit VM’s from a student – that’s gotta make some district people nervous.

Trust me, had you not stepped up to accept responsibility – this whole deal would have went further south. Good job.

-------

And I’m like ColeTrickle – my 16th came and went without anything accept a disclaimer that I had only 2 years left before I could go to jail. Thanks mom and dad :fingers:

Thanks for posting this up. My son's almost 12. I'm gonna have him read this whole thread. Will be a good lesson for him for the future.

 

[42johnny]

I have three boys and yes they ALL screw up. some just do not get caught ...

I read your post over to my 15 year old and he agreed with me..
Let the punishment fit the crime...

I think that he has paid the price from you already and he still has more to face.
If he is normally a good kid.
Then look past this and let him a have a great birthday!!!!!

I do not know if you read a thread I did when my 11 year old got called into the schools principal where I had to go with him...
Him and his buddy laughed at another 11 little girl for bending over and showing her but crack...
One said "you can see her ass"

With that, the parents of both boys had to be at school for this and "how bad this is" speech giving to me.

I told the principle that it is just 11 year old boys and basically get a life.


We are living in different times and the more "we" let them win, the more it will cost us down the line.

If you feel in your heart that your boy was not showing hatred or being vengeful toward this teacher, then let the boy be a boy and have a fun 16Th birthday......




johnny

 

[C-2]

I have a recent delinquent story to share too...

So my 19 year old Nephew bails from Lake Havasu and shows up at my house. He was in nothing but problems in Havi - and finally figured out there's nothing there for him. My other Nephew just turned 18, he too is coming back to Cali now he's 18.

So the second weekend he is staying with us the19 year old decides it would be fun to egg somebody

(DUDE, that's what 14 year olds do:drillsergeant

But he did it and got caught by some neighbors. He ran and got away - but not really. They slashed all 4 tires on his truck. Cops called and said "Son, come get your truck and get it the F* out of our city." "But what about somebody slashing my tires?" Cops said dunno what to tell ya.

A week later - his motor blew up. He's been hoofing it ever since.

Street justice...it's a biatch. :thumbsup

 

[jstme]

I have three boys and yes they ALL screw up. some just do not get caught ...

I read your post over to my 15 year old and he agreed with me..
Let the punishment fit the crime...

I think that he has paid the price from you already and he still has more to face.
If he is normally a good kid.
Then look past this and let him a have a great birthday!!!!!

I do not know if you read a thread I did when my 11 year old got called into the schools principal where I had to go with him...
Him and his buddy laughed at another 11 little girl for bending over and showing her but crack...
One said "you can see her ass"

With that, the parents of both boys had to be at school for this and "how bad this is" speech giving to me.

I told the principle that it is just 11 year old boys and basically get a life.


We are living in different times and the more "we" let them win, the more it will cost us down the line.

If you feel in your heart that your boy was not showing hatred or being vengeful toward this teacher, then let the boy be a boy and have a fun 16Th birthday......




johnny

There has been a lot of good advice so far in this thread. To me, if your kid "get's it", lighten up and move on...stuff happens, he will respect you for being firm AND "there for him' at the same time. Knowing that Dad has your back is invaluable to teens.......IF he "get's it." If not, keep punishing until he does. Just my opinion, legally entitled to be wrong by the constitution and esp. my wife.

 

[milkmoney]

ok as we have discussed this alittle bit the other day, i think that punishing him over and over to the point that he will not have or enjoy his 16th b-day is not going to change any of the facts that he/you have to appear in court and deal with this on a law level(if you will). you have stated that you got on his ass in different ways, usmc boot camp etc..

continue to keep raising your boy the way that you do and he will learn from this also, imo if you dont give him his 16th b-day like it should be celebrated, he will live and you will live, but i think that as years go by you and norma will be the ones that will regret it more than john will, that it happened that way, kids adjust, you guys have worked very hard to have these boys become the young men that they are good and bad..which i think alot more good than bad for sure..

as long as john understands that his punishment is there and going to continue before and after his b-day and that it is his 16th to celebrate, then i think there is nothing wrong with celebrating it for what it is...

imo and i was raised by a full bird, i would call my mother a tuff ol'bird, very strict and i also believe in being strict..so thats all i have to say about that..

 

[moneysucker]

Unfortunately, one thing I learned growing up was whatever punishment was handed down at sentencing by my parents was IT. There is no time off for good behavior. I always keep a cool head when handing down sentences as to avoid an overly long punishment that hurts us more than the child. Let the punishment fit the crime.

It all really depends on exactly what was said at the time of the punishment as to what you should do for the birthday. I can tell by the post that you are a good parent and will do what is right for your kid.

Good luck.

For the record, my little sister is a teacher of some real bastard kids the BS they have to put up with on a daily basis is huge BUT anyone who really cares about kids and their futures would have dealt with this internally prior to bringing in the cops. I know too that in many cases the parents are not doing their jobs and letting the schools and cops be the parents. This is not the case here and if the school would have started at their level and gone higher should it be necessary where the parents will not take care of the problem.

I am a firm believer of spankings (not beatings) rules and chores.