Observations from the river, time to bit(h

[Tpltrbl303]

As I sit on my dock I realized several things
1. Jetskiers are related to the the Blue Angels and must fly in formation 5 wide blocking the river.
2. Wakesurfers are the best when they have never been to the ocean.
3. When floating in your boat always pick the narrowest part of the river.
4. The coolest people need to buzz my dock at no more than 5 feet away at full throttle.
5. The more money you spend on your boat the better driver you are.
6. The safest and smoothest place in an open bow is as close to the front, everybody must sit there.

Please feel free to add more tips I may have missed, we need to help the new guy

 

[MalibuKen]

The launch ramp is the most logical place to load the boat with coolers and all the people.

 

[MrMayhem]

Be sure to drive with near shore on your left. This way you can get a better look at the people coming at you.

 

[5oclocksomewhere]

As I sit on my dock I realized several things
1. Jetskiers are related to the the Blue Angels and must fly in formation 5 wide blocking the river.
2. Wakesurfers are the best when they have never been to the ocean.
3. When floating in your boat always pick the narrowest part of the river.
4. The coolest people need to buzz my dock at no more than 5 feet away at full throttle.
5. The more money you spend on your boat the better driver you are.
6. The safest and smoothest place in an open bow is as close to the front, everybody must sit there.

Please feel free to add more tips I may have missed, we need to help the new guy

I think you nailed it!

 

[4Waters]

The launch ramp is the most logical place to load the boat with coolers and all the people.

You left out that the launch ramp is the best place to learn how to back a trailer.

 

[fishing fool]

Welcome to my every weekend

 

[Runs2rch]

You left out that the launch ramp is the best place to learn how to back a trailer.

Also then wipe the boat down just a few feet out of the water.

Bow straps, bow safety line, and safety chains are all overrated.

 

[4Waters]

Welcome to my every weekend

It's no better at castiac lake, from the time I put the truck in reverse to the time I pull the empty trailer out of the water is about 90sec or less, retrieving the boat is about 2.5min.

 

[WildWilly]

The docks at the windsor launch are there for you to tie up and leave your boat while you replace your bunks in the cleaning lane, not as a drop off and pickup for your driver..

and there is no need to clear out from the launch after you drop the boat in the water, seriously, just float right there and wait for your driver to return. Everyone else will wait or drive around as needed.

 

[Frankenmax]

Launch your boat tie it off to the dock and block the ramp.
This is annoying.

Launch your boat forget the plug, freak out on the driver and make scene.
That's always funny!

Pull your rented car down to the bottom of the ramp and take turns taking pictures. Then have cab full of people tag along for more pictures. All while blocking the ramp.
I hit one of the guys two years ago when he got mouthy with me. My wife wasn't impressed but they got out of there.

 

[jonnyd]

Wow it sounds like an awful place to go to!

 

[Bigbore500r]

When going head - on with another boat, make sure you turn around to talk to passengers and drift to MY right

 

[jeepdog]

one of my favorites is letting young kids swim and build sand castles at the ramp (community park BHC) no shit, some parents blow me away:grumble:

 

[Dalton]

its best to keep your bumpers out, never know when something's gonna happen
when driving a severely underpowered toon, keep your outboard trimmed down/tucked as far under the boat as possible
always trim all the way up when parked in the channel, keep drive all the way up when leaving channel

 

[Bigbore500r]

Dont beach your boat with adequate speed, just creep up to the sand, then hammer down and drive the boat up the beach with the drive in the trailer position. Sand helps keep the prop shiney and knocks the glaze off the impeller housing

 

[Chili Palmer]

Please leave somebody holding your boat blocking 2 lanes at the launch ramp while you go get your trailer instead of waiting away from the launch ramp then bringing your boat in when your trailer is being backed into the water.

 

[4Waters]

Don't ever walk your boat to the end of the dock after launching you should always tie it off 2 feet off the trailer so no one else can launch until you get back.

 

[2Driver]

50% of people floating from the dam are displaying a Skier Down flag, but have no skier or anyone even in the water

It doesn't matter what day or time of day and how crowded the river is, if you have a tube its your right use it.

 

[grumpy88]

50% of people floating from the dam are displaying a Skier Down flag, but have no skier or anyone even in the water

It doesn't matter what day or time of day and how crowded the river is, if you have a tube its your right use it.

This ^^^^^^^^^

 

[nowski]

Have everything ready and done in the parking lot before hitting the launch lanes. The launch lanes are not for loading the boat with food, ice chests, easy ups, chairs or putting up the bimini's etc, etc, etc...

 

[riverroyal]

The fattest girls where the smallest bikinis

 

[2Driver]

Where

 

[arch stanton]

The fattest girls where the smallest bikinis

It's a matter of perception the bikini is not really smaller it's that the glare off that much white beached whale skin makes it look smaller and some of the bikini slips into the fat rolls, it's just too shocking those images burned on my retinas.

 

[77charger]

Dont forget the beach with the ez up frame no top nothing around is already reserved.

Wakeboard boats full ballast driving close to shore on river then have their friends running block as they both move towards middle
Or the ones holding a spot for their buddy in the channel.

Others have already been mentioned

 

[ElAzul]

Don't worry the boater education card will fix all of this they are just uninformed operators

 

[236eagledave]

It's a matter of perception the bikini is not really smaller it's that the glare off that much white beached whale skin makes it look smaller and some of the bikini slips into the fat rolls, it's just too shocking those images burned on my retinas.

Haven't you heard? Bellies are the new abs!

 

[UAV.Pilot]

THE RIVER IS CLOSED!

 

[rvrrun]

Don't forget to pack super soakers as part of your "tool" kit.

 

[charred1]

7. If you live on the river, prepare to b!tch about what you see on the river!

 

[Flynryan]

This applies to the river anyways--- no wake zones do not apply for jetskiers and they can run up and down the river on any side. Also make sure to buzz the dock and spray my boat.

 

[FreeBird236]

The docks at the windsor launch are there for you to tie up and leave your boat while you replace your bunks in the cleaning lane, not as a drop off and pickup for your driver..

and there is no need to clear out from the launch after you drop the boat in the water, seriously, just float right there and wait for your driver to return. Everyone else will wait or drive around as needed.

Ever tried to drop off your driver when it's weigh in time?:grumble:

 

[cole_skier]

Ever tried to drop off your driver when it's weigh in time?:grumble:

Yes last night in the wind. It was a shit show

 

[buck35]

Don't forget the ones who slow down to ogle, or somehow think they're being nice and throw a 3 or 4 foot wave I to the dock from 40 feet away.:grumble:
any lake or river , doesn't seem to matter anymore.

 

[LHC Kirby]

When your roller boat comes into a cove with 3 beaches, and a boat or 2 on each beach. Make sure you ride in there and proceed to send huge rollers in to each beach. As the families hanging on the beach would much rather listen to your crappy music and hold onto their boats instead of relaxing and kicking back in a quiet cove.

 

[Bigbore500r]

The fattest girls where the smallest bikinis

As long as they're wearing that stripper scent and heels.... I can make it happen.

*Note - poster reserves the right To refuse service to anyone

 

[Flying_Lavey]

This applies to the river anyways--- no wake zones do not apply for jetskiers and they can run up and down the river on any side. Also make sure to buzz the dock and spray my boat.

Or that after 7pm the no wake zone around the docks doesn't apply so you can just pull your wakeboarder all the way into your slip. The other boats bouncing around that are tied up don't mind getting the crap beat out of them.

 

[Kachina26]

Don't forget that docking lights also double as headlights. Never mind that they obscure your nav lights.

 

[rvrrun]

How about the guy that pulled up to RR in a 30+' twin screw Sea Ray coming off plane twenty feet from the dock. RR looked exactly like that shot of the bridge used in the old Pioneer commercial.

The round of Road Rapers he bought nearly made me forget about it.

 

[spectras only]

when launching your boat by yourself alone, don't tie it to the dock, let the boat float away.:rolleyes After you parked your trailer, just swim out to board your boat:skull. This way, you won't upset impatient boaters who can't wait a few minutes:rolleyes Of course, launching can be done in less than a minute, IF you have a friend to help, most of us know that:thumbsup!
Reading this thread, sounds like we're a bunch of pissed off boaters,haha

 

[Richard.E]

If you're docking your boat by yourself and people standing at the dock offer to catch the boat for you and you tell them "no I got it" and then proceed to slam your hull against the dock.

It's obviously the guy on the docks fault for assuming you could do it alone.

If your wife can't back the trailer down the ramp after 2-3 attempts, and a stranger offers to do for you. It's okay to say "no it's ok" and then proceed to wait until your husband docks the boat and backs the trailer down himself.

 

[Carlson-jet]

Assemble your duck blind using 2 of 4 lanes half lit. Lip off to the guy who calls you and your three buddies out on it. Have your ass handed to you by one guy with 20 other boaters waiting to launch as backup.

 

[Sleek-Jet]

You guys need to get laid or something...

 

[done]

Put your giant lily pad behind your boat in the channel, put your lily pad to a boat tie up in the channel, When backing out of a spot in the channel, be sure not to look if any one is back there and the power out into the other boat traffic. If you drive the casino boat, go down the middle of the channel faster then the other boats
then honk your horn as you nearly run people over.... Be sure and cut in front of a big boat that is rolling over to get on a plain so you can't be seen

 

[buck35]

when launching your boat by yourself alone, don't tie it to the dock, let the boat float away.:rolleyes After you parked your trailer, just swim out to board your boat:skull. This way, you won't upset impatient boaters who can't wait a few minutes:rolleyes Of course, launching can be done in less than a minute, IF you have a friend to help, most of us know that:thumbsup!
Reading this thread, sounds like we're a bunch of pissed off boaters,haha

It's nice to have you're own launch.

 

[spectras only]

It's nice to have you're own launch.

Baller:thumbsup

 

[Kailuaboy89]

Always be sure to pass people going slower than you are and as close as possible to show how nice and fast your boat is....hopefully they stand and applaud your efforts...:thumbsup

 

[Icky]

I was worried I was doing a few things wrong but now I see, according to this thread I'm doing everything right:thumbsup

 

[fishing fool]

On the other hand. It's sad to me when a guy is yelling at his wife/girlfriend because she has the trailer too far or not in enough. Then continue to yell at her because he forgot to clip the boat.
Please guys there is no reason to yell at your woman, if you don't like what she is doing do it yourself or get another woman.

 

[4Waters]

On the other hand. It's sad to me when a guy is yelling at his wife/girlfriend because she has the trailer too far or not in enough. Then continue to yell at her because he forgot to clip the boat.
Please guys there is no reason to yell at your woman, if you don't like what she is doing do it yourself or get another woman.

^^^^^^ This if she's doing it wrong don't yell at her tie the boat to the dock and go show her, I would gladly wait a few minutes today so you can teach rather than wait and watch you yell at her every weekend.

 

[RiverDave]

It's no better at castiac lake, from the time I put the truck in reverse to the time I pull the empty trailer out of the water is about 90sec or less, retrieving the boat is about 2.5min.

Why is it taking you so long?



Seriously there is some good ones in this thread.. Because the sarcasm is spot on!

RD