My (Anti-) Social Experiment...

[monkeyswrench]

As spring is finally thinking about coming back, and river season is on the distant horizon, I have made it close to a year into my "Proof" phase. This was an experiment involving friends...term used loosely, now...and the river.
We had friends that would come out to our river place usually a couple three times a season. Usually for the entire week around the 4th. My wife and I had been in their wedding, helped them move, all the normal friend stuff. Known them for 20ish years. Life and family happens, so we didn't see each other near as much, as well as living 100mi apart. Still, river trips worked out well.
Two years ago, my wife and kids were in a pretty major car accident...first day of summer vacation. Other family wanted to know about the river trip(s), and we could not give any dates...too many doctor's appointments. Oddly enough, they seemed kind of upset. So, my anti-social experiment...
At the end of that season, we sold our riverfront place. It was nice, and I miss having a dock. It was also a better move financially speaking, and too close to lots of other people. We immediately rolled some of that money into our current place. Better fit for us, and in Az! We specifically didn't post on wife's FaceSpace, and didn't go out of our way to inform anyone. If they ask, sure, we'll tell them. River pics get posted, but not so much pics of the place, it's not where anything major happens.
Oddly enough, since I sold the river place, not one call from that household. Not one call for holidays, or kids' birthdays...not even a follow up that summer about how my wife was doing. I guess I know priorities now...anyone else end up with "fare weather friends", or just me?

 

[musicFunsun]

Fair weather friends, it would seem

 

[Waterjunky]

I am actually fairly antisocial myself. I tend to weed out people like that in my life.

 

[Mototrig]

It's not just you. I had friends who would call only when they needed something. Drove me nuts, when I would try to count on them for family birthdays or or other events they always had other plans. But as soon as I plan a 4th of July block party or something where I am the host and.I supply the "fun toys" they seem to clear their schedule.

For this reason I only rely on a few friends close to my heart, other than that I don't rely on anyone for much of anything. I want my friendships to be real and not based on what I can do for them or do for me.

 

[Mototrig]

 

[ltbaney1]

im in the same boat, i keep my circle pretty small. the people who i hang out with normally could show up at my door at 2am and say i need help and im going. and i can do the same. been proven a few times. i have very few friends but alot of people i know and am friendly with.

 

[Thunderhead1]

its not just you...People have different motives/priorities and agendas.... its funny , several years ago and a few bad decisions I was in financial turmoil.... All my "Friends" basically went away. I found that my wife and my 2 kids were my foundation and the only people I could rely on.

fast forward to today with a lot of sacrifice and hard work , We (my family) have found ourselves relatively ok and back doing all the things we love... Through all that I can count on 1 hand our true friends.

when you realize that , I think it makes you stronger and wiser to the mechanics of being "Social". Keeps your defense senses on point.

 

[RiverDave]

As spring is finally thinking about coming back, and river season is on the distant horizon, I have made it close to a year into my "Proof" phase. This was an experiment involving friends...term used loosely, now...and the river.
We had friends that would come out to our river place usually a couple three times a season. Usually for the entire week around the 4th. My wife and I had been in their wedding, helped them move, all the normal friend stuff. Known them for 20ish years. Life and family happens, so we didn't see each other near as much, as well as living 100mi apart. Still, river trips worked out well.
Two years ago, my wife and kids were in a pretty major car accident...first day of summer vacation. Other family wanted to know about the river trip(s), and we could not give any dates...too many doctor's appointments. Oddly enough, they seemed kind of upset. So, my anti-social experiment...
At the end of that season, we sold our riverfront place. It was nice, and I miss having a dock. It was also a better move financially speaking, and too close to lots of other people. We immediately rolled some of that money into our current place. Better fit for us, and in Az! We specifically didn't post on wife's FaceSpace, and didn't go out of our way to inform anyone. If they ask, sure, we'll tell them. River pics get posted, but not so much pics of the place, it's not where anything major happens.
Oddly enough, since I sold the river place, not one call from that household. Not one call for holidays, or kids' birthdays...not even a follow up that summer about how my wife was doing. I guess I know priorities now...anyone else end up with "fare weather friends", or just me?

That’s pretty much the way it is.. sad to say.

Even having kids a lot of the people we used to hang out with kinda blew away in the wind.

 

[monkeyswrench]

That’s pretty much the way it is.. sad to say.

Even having kids a lot of the people we used to hang out with kinda blew away in the wind.

Having kids wasn't so much a tell for the friends we had. We were low buck/low key...we were working and making house payments. We only did small birthday party stuff, and were rarely doing the river thing at all. The kid thing kind of became the central point of my life. It drug me back from stupidity...after a while. The name "Monkeys' Wrench" stems from them...I've always called my kids monkeys...I turn wrenches...I turn wrenches to provide for my kids.

View attachment 721104

im in the same boat, i keep my circle pretty small. the people who i hang out with normally could show up at my door at 2am and say i need help and im going. and i can do the same. been proven a few times. i have very few friends but alot of people i know and am friendly with.

It's funny, and my stupidity, but my family and "friends" I have always helped out, and not usually helped in return. If that same family from above called broken down on the highway, yes, I'd go help. I'll probably continue helping my wife's family, and tell my wife afterwards I won't ever again

 

[HCP3]

I did this for the last two years or so by simply not taking the initiative to plan events, or even impromptu Friday night get togethers. Once I stopped putting in the effort, the 'friends' went away. While it was disheartening at first, I'm happier now with the few real friends that stuck around.

 

[t&y]

I think as we all get older in life with kids and events this is juts kinda how it goes. River pads or Common Holiday gatherings are pretty much our get back together and catch up times with friends. Most of my family's free time is spent with kids activity's which takes away our free weekends... Didn't even get the boat to the river once last season and missed our usual friend gatherings because of it. Sucks, but my family is first, and my kids are before my friends.

I wouldn't take their distance purely a negative against you or your family. If you consider them friends, why not reach out and catch up on old times?

 

[CigAjerk]

I dropped social media years ago, just turned 43 last week. Only good friends called me on my birthday. I'm fine with it. I can count them with one hand and I can count on them when I need a hand.

 

[monkeyswrench]

I think as we all get older in life with kids and events this is juts kinda how it goes. River pads or Common Holiday gatherings are pretty much our get back together and catch up times with friends. Most of my family's free time is spent with kids activity's which takes away our free weekends... Didn't even get the boat to the river once last season and missed our usual friend gatherings because of it. Sucks, but my family is first, and my kids are before my friends.

I wouldn't take their distance purely a negative against you or your family. If you consider them friends, why not reach out and catch up on old times?

I've thought about calling. I think what gets in the way is the blatant timing of when contact stopped. I'm not the most well mannered, nor even tempered. It's not so much that I feel slighted. I spend most days working alone, and am pretty self reliant. I feel my family was kind of taken advantage of. When you have to come up with an answer when your 8 year old asks, "Why don't we see or talk to..." That just pisses me off. I don't want to tell my kids my thoughts, so I had said they've been busy. Now they don't ask. Our 15yo girl has it figured out.

I dropped social media years ago, just turned 43 last week. Only good friends called me on my birthday. I'm fine with it. I can count them with one hand and I can count on them when I need a hand.

The only social media I am on is RDP. I am in contact with a few people from high school...my wife, her brother and one friend from the neighborhood. If I didn't feel the need to talk with you for the past 25 years, there may have been a reason.
RDP is a different social media...I only know a handful of you assholes, but most seem to be relatively like minded. I think FaceSpace would ban my ass permanently!

 

[Taboma]

I get it, hell, I lost almost all my so called friends after I cut off water to most of our avocado grove except a couple of trees just for ourselves.
Before that I was always taking boxes or bags of avocados when we'd meet up, in addition to shipping some cross country and I'm sure you can guess who was paying for the shipping Of course they were always going to come over and pick for themselves, but never did, nobody offered to help pay for the water either, guess they all figured those avos were just extras, lol

 

[Bpracing1127]

I kinda have the opposite problem, have all the toys and go all the time and well it seems I can’t get my friends to ever go with me to the river.

But yes having kids changed who our friends are. We still make time to see our friends and family so I don’t buy the excuse from other friends and family

 

[guest hs]

I'm not a very sociable person. I'm an only child and pretty shy. I hate talking on the phone and prefer to text. I'm sure some of my friends may feel this way about me, I don't mean it but its just how I am. I have less then one handful of good friends I talk to and don't need anymore.

 

[rivermobster]

I dropped social media years ago, just turned 43 last week. Only good friends called me on my birthday. I'm fine with it. I can count them with one hand and I can count on them when I need a hand.

Happy Birthday Roger!




But to the point of this thread...

Loan a friend money, and you'll never see him again!

You'll get to watch him go in vacation on Facebook though...

I'll take shit that pisses you off for a thousand Alex.

 

[CigAjerk]

Happy Birthday Roger!




But to the point of this thread...

Loan a friend money, and you'll never see him again!

You'll get to watch him go in vacation on Facebook though...

I'll take shit that pisses you off for a thousand Alex.

Thank you sir.

But to continue your quote....loan a friend money, give him a job, feed him on weekends, give him free beer, take him to the river and then find out that he's banging your ex.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Thank you sir.

But to continue your quote....loan a friend money, give him a job, feed him on weekends, give him free beer, take him to the river and then find out that he's banging your ex.

Holy hell! In a fair world, you should be able to keep reciepts, and deduct that from alimony
I just find it funny. I've said it a million times. I've had money, I've been broke. Made good money, and not so much. Always had the same 100$ bill in my wallet. Always been me. I guess the true friends stayed the same, the acquaintences seem to cycle through though. Really, I think I have 2 "bury a body buddies" Some of those I thought were tight, dropped off not due to kids, but due to me not running up the debt clock to keep up. The summer I bought my house, a buddy bought an HTM...it was a while ago. I think they were a new manufacturer...a bit more than my house. Priorities change. I have no problem opening my place to friends, but it has to be on my family's schedule.

 

[sirbob]

A couple of thoughts...

We make "friends" very slowly! I don't need a new best friend.

I read an article recently that says most people change their circle of friends every 7 years. It seems things like jobs / kids ages / kids sport teams or social circles / all change as we grow and take on new things on our life - that effects who our friends are.

In the past I felt like we had 4 real friends/ families we were close to - now its down to 2. We have lots of people we see and hang out with but I would only consider 2 families to really be people we could count on.

 

[mash on it]

"I've got dozens of friends, and the fun never ends, that is as long as I'm buyin'"
-Styx

Used to invite my wife's sister and b-i-l to the river...All they had to do was show up.
After 5 years of no-shows, I didn't invite them anymore. Now I tell anyone that wants to go, I'll be on the river in Bullhead, call me if ya want to hang out.

Dan'l

 

[was thatguy]

I’ve been noticing a similar phenomena.

My oldest friend had his wife pass unexpectedly about 6 years ago.
I was at work on a rig in western CO.
He called me from his truck while driving through a blizzard in ND.
The sheriff had just called him and told him they found his wife dead.
He was a wreck as you can imagine.
I bought him a plane ticket on the spot from the nearest airport, and talked him through the drive there.
Once he was there I immediately called in a relief hand for me, left the rig, flew red eye to Sac, met my wife at Sac airport, and we got on the next plane smoking to Phoenix, and was at his side that morning.

Fast forward...Deb died in July. He’s known her for 15 years.
He couldn’t come...he was at work. Hmmm...

My daughter and Debs sister dropped what they were doing and were there.
My “friend” didn’t want to leave the job he was on.

I’ve noticed that my newer friends on RDP and Debs family are really the ones that seem to give a fuck.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future” rings loud and true.

I’m not passing judgment, just reconsidering who my real friends are through observation.

 

[rivermobster]

Thank you sir.

But to continue your quote....loan a friend money, give him a job, feed him on weekends, give him free beer, take him to the river and then find out that he's banging your ex.

Jezzzzz.

No bro code at all.

 

[JDKRXW]

A bit off topic, but;
There's a British anthropologist (Dunbar) who's studied men's social circles.
He concludes that most people can maintain a social relationship with about 150 people. This 150 includes friends AND family members, and the average person isn't smart enough to maintain a greater number than this.
Of that 150, a man needs a 3-5 person 'inner layer' to talk regularly with about personal stuff.
He also says that if you don't have at least one person in this inner layer you can talk to.... you're not healthy and bad stuff WILL happen due to this isolation.

 

[Shlbyntro]

That’s pretty much the way it is.. sad to say.

Even having kids a lot of the people we used to hang out with kinda blew away in the wind.

A true friend will let you borrow his trailer

I kinda have the opposite problem, have all the toys and go all the time and well it seems I can’t get my friends to ever go with me to the river.

But yes having kids changed who our friends are. We still make time to see our friends and family so I don’t buy the excuse from other friends and family

I'm in the same boat. I have all the toys and am inviting people all the time to come out with me. All they have to do I get themselves there and I'll take care of the rest. Always an excuse....

I have 2 friends who came to visit me once in TX since I left Commiefornia 5 years ago. I have run myself ragged all over the country going to weddings, special events, and just because.....

I guess that's what I get for threatening people with a good time.....

 

[Runs2rch]

A bit off topic, but;
There's a British anthropologist (Dunbar) who's studied men's social circles.
He concludes that most people can maintain a social relationship with about 150 people. This 150 includes friends AND family members, and the average person isn't smart enough to maintain a greater number than this.
Of that 150, a man needs a 3-5 person 'inner layer' to talk regularly with about personal stuff.
He also says that if you don't have at least one person in this inner layer you can talk to.... you're not healthy and bad stuff WILL happen due to this isolation.

Spot on I bet.

 

[Bpracing1127]

A true friend will let you borrow his trailer



I'm in the same boat. I have all the toys and am inviting people all the time to come out with me. All they have to do I get themselves there and I'll take care of the rest. Always an excuse....

I have 2 friends who came to visit me once in TX since I left Commiefornia 5 years ago. I have run myself ragged all over the country going to weddings, special events, and just because.....

I guess that's what I get for threatening people with a good time.....

Yea I am still in so cal and one of my so called friends lives 10 min from me but I never see him!

 

[milkmoney]

I have no friends. Just river acquaintances...

[emoji202]

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

 

[monkeyswrench]

I’ve been noticing a similar phenomena.

My oldest friend had his wife pass unexpectedly about 6 years ago.
I was at work on a rig in western CO.
He called me from his truck while driving through a blizzard in ND.
The sheriff had just called him and told him they found his wife dead.
He was a wreck as you can imagine.
I bought him a plane ticket on the spot from the nearest airport, and talked him through the drive there.
Once he was there I immediately called in a relief hand for me, left the rig, flew red eye to Sac, met my wife at Sac airport, and we got on the next plane smoking to Phoenix, and was at his side that morning.

Fast forward...Deb died in July. He’s known her for 15 years.
He couldn’t come...he was at work. Hmmm...

My daughter and Debs sister dropped what they were doing and were there.
My “friend” didn’t want to leave the job he was on.

I’ve noticed that my newer friends on RDP and Debs family are really the ones that seem to give a fuck.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future” rings loud and true.

I’m not passing judgment, just reconsidering who my real friends are through observation.

I kind of had the same issue, but with my parents passing. Some, well most really, friends were gone. I had two that really stuck around. One I worked with quite a bit, and if I were running late from dealing with Mom's cancer stuff, he'd get the job rolling, or run it to the end of the day if I had to split. The other always was checking to see if I needed things picked up for Mom, or anything for my wife or kids if I were taking care of Mom. When those two lost their parents, I was in the truck, and headed out within a couple hours. It's a 7 hr drive to my old area, but these were the guys who helped me out when some treated me as a lepper. There will always be time for work...the shit will be there when you get back. I see no gain from living your life for a job. You were looking for a job when you found the one you have

 

[RiverDave]

I’ve been noticing a similar phenomena.

My oldest friend had his wife pass unexpectedly about 6 years ago.
I was at work on a rig in western CO.
He called me from his truck while driving through a blizzard in ND.
The sheriff had just called him and told him they found his wife dead.
He was a wreck as you can imagine.
I bought him a plane ticket on the spot from the nearest airport, and talked him through the drive there.
Once he was there I immediately called in a relief hand for me, left the rig, flew red eye to Sac, met my wife at Sac airport, and we got on the next plane smoking to Phoenix, and was at his side that morning.

Fast forward...Deb died in July. He’s known her for 15 years.
He couldn’t come...he was at work. Hmmm...

My daughter and Debs sister dropped what they were doing and were there.
My “friend” didn’t want to leave the job he was on.

I’ve noticed that my newer friends on RDP and Debs family are really the ones that seem to give a fuck.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future” rings loud and true.

I’m not passing judgment, just reconsidering who my real friends are through observation.

Good lord.. I want to punch that guy in the dick!

 

[HPBoats83]

For my wife and I Friday and Saturday night are now the loneliest nights of the week. We have the off-road toys and nobody wants to go ride except for a few times a year which is one of the reasons it’s for sale now. We have a bunch of friends who will call us if they need help and we usually “jump” to help but when we need help or want to hang out people are gone/busy/whatever.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[monkeyswrench]

Good lord.. I want to punch that guy in the dick!

Karma, fate, whatever you choose to call it...it's a mother fucker

 

[DILLIGAF]

I took it so far as to fire an entire crew of women. I got tired of taking care of everything. I literally told them they were all fired. They were like WTF you can't do that. I just did.

Got me another crew even younger and prettier. Then I got tired of that crew...lol

Had a lot of "friends" disappear when I cut off the gravy train.

Shit...I just now remembered one time when a whole bunch of people were in my garage. I had enough and came in with a shot gun, opened the garage door, pumped the shot gun and told them all to leave...lol (it wasnt loaded but they didnt know that)

Sick of friggin free loaders. Adios

 

[Singleton]

Seem to fire friends all the time that only call when they want something.
I get calling when you want/need something, that are what friends are for, but these guys only call when they want river trips, tickets to sporting events, etc.

 

[milkmoney]

I will add , one reason I have no friends , is I have nothing to offer , money, help moving, babysitting etc etc [emoji39]

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[was thatguy]

Good lord.. I want to punch that guy in the dick!

Well, you know, things change I guess.
I’ll tell you this Dave, I’ve made some remarkable friends due to this site.


There are some truly outstanding people on this board.

 

[DB / HAV]

More importantly, how are your wife & kids? Hope all is good!

 

[bowtiejunkie]

I rarely need help, usually only with a home project or R&R an engine for a car/truck. I'll ask 1 of 2 people; my brother or my oldest cousin. I certainly couldn't be labeled a leach by any former friend.

Through the years, I've tried the experiment of going silent and see if friends will contact me. Every last one of them has not contacted me since (10-15 years since the experiment started). Well, apparently, they didn't need my friendship.

I have two friends at this point. Ironically, met both via chevelles.com back in 2001. Super cool guys, give you the shirt off their back. We always offer each other help, but never ask for it. Talk about everything, never get offended about anything.

Seems like a lot of people just want to do their own thing, or do things with their immediate family. Heck, a younger cousin moved to area 2+ years ago. Seen him 3 times. He and his new wife bought a house, we've never gotten an invite to come over. They had a baby a few months ago. Haven't seen the baby. WTH? Also, always seems like I'm lacking something to be friends with parents of my kids' friends at school: be it living in the wrong area/city, a small house, don't have certain toys, don't spend money to go on expensive cruises, amusement parks, etc., etc." My wife feels like we're being left out (to be honest, I do feel bad that I just don't give a shit about making friends). Well, f-it, we are who we are, and live where I live, only have so much money. Hell, for one, if someone that lives in an exclusive community in a large house doesn't want to drive 8 miles to our little 1700 sq ft house in a modest area, I don't want to be friends with those people. Man, it just seems like people I run across all want you to follow them, go to them, do what they want. Even some family members. I've just settled on I don't particularly need friends to feel like my life is whole. I like just spending time with my wife and kids.

 

[monkeyswrench]

More importantly, how are your wife & kids? Hope all is good!

Good, thanks for asking. Aside from some health issues, I have a much better family than I deserve. Wouldn't change it for the world!

I rarely need help, usually only with a home project or R&R an engine for a car/truck. I'll ask 1 of 2 people; my brother or my oldest cousin. I certainly couldn't be labeled a leach by any former friend.

Through the years, I've tried the experiment of going silent and see if friends will contact me. Every last one of them has not contacted me since (10-15 years since the experiment started). Well, apparently, they didn't need my friendship.

I have two friends at this point. Ironically, met both via chevelles.com back in 2001. Super cool guys, give you the shirt off their back. We always offer each other help, but never ask for it. Talk about everything, never get offended about anything.

Seems like a lot of people just want to do their own thing, or do things with their immediate family. Heck, a younger cousin moved to area 2+ years ago. Seen him 3 times. He and his new wife bought a house, we've never gotten an invite to come over. They had a baby a few months ago. Haven't seen the baby. WTH? Also, always seems like I'm lacking something to be friends with parents of my kids' friends at school: be it living in the wrong area/city, a small house, don't have certain toys, don't spend money to go on expensive cruises, amusement parks, etc., etc." My wife feels like we're being left out (to be honest, I do feel bad that I just don't give a shit about making friends). Well, f-it, we are who we are, and live where I live, only have so much money. Hell, for one, if someone that lives in an exclusive community in a large house doesn't want to drive 8 miles to our little 1700 sq ft house in a modest area, I don't want to be friends with those people. Man, it just seems like people I run across all want you to follow them, go to them, do what they want. Even some family members. I've just settled on I don't particularly need friends to feel like my life is whole. I like just spending time with my wife and kids.

I'm with you on the independence thing. My mom used to say the difference between me and my brother was he needed to know how to do things, I'd figure it out as I was doing it. There are very few things I ask for help on. From a car accident several years back, I learned to rely on brain over brawn. I have gained strength in both respects now. I've picked up some talents from anybody willing to give me a little time. Between the desire to learn things, and now with the internet, there aren't a whole lot of things beyond reach. I didn't grow up with a really tight family, so I always kind of wanted that. I definitely enjoy the river time with my wife and kids, and it's nice to not have to wait for other people to get ready to launch. In a way, I guess, the river place is the only material thing I've really ever thought of being "used" for. Hell, no one even wants to borrow my car trailer

 

[Bpracing1127]

It’s funny how there are two different groups of people in this thread

1. Group of people who have “friends” but use them for there stuff, money, and time but never return the favor
2. Group of people who want that lol and can’t even get there friends to use them for the stuff money and time. These “friends” are too busy or too cool to even hang out with once in a while

I have problem number twov

 

[TrollerDave]

I will add , one reason I have no friends , is I have nothing to offer , money, help moving, babysitting etc etc [emoji39]

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WTH?!
You would make a great babysitter!

 

[Activated]

I will add , one reason I have no friends , is I have nothing to offer , money, help moving, babysitting etc etc [emoji39]

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

You forgot that yore an assclown.

 

[Your ad here]

Mostly everyone is an acquaintance. 1 or 2 friends and then family. I don't worry or dwell on others decisions.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Ok, gotta ask this of the people who's friends have not time. Not thatguy, his "friend" is a different breed all together! Do some of those friends have toys just sitting? Are these the types that work so much to have the toys, but due to that have no time to use them? just bragging rights? I guess the abstract good thing living out here is this: The average pay kind of sucks, so missing a day or three of work really doesn't mean a lot

I would understand missing stuff for kids, that is a given. You do that stuff, your kids come first. I put work ahead of life, and I wasn't happy with the outcome. Everybody has different priorities. I don't look at what someone has to offer me as a friend. I look for common interests, and common values. Sometimes though, both of those can change.

 

[Bpracing1127]

In my case, my friends and I used to all go to the desert together and the river all the time. We once spent 90 days partying at the river because we could lol.

I am the only one with a boat and offroad toy. My other friends have expressed interest in getting back into off-roading but have not pulled the trigger.

One of my friends recently bought a huge fifth wheel toyhauler but doesn’t really want to buy a offroad toy either a sxs or a quad or something. He has no kids and is not married yet. He has two pitbulls that are pretty rambunctious. He works construction and works weekends almost all the time. Remind me a lot of “Vic” here on the boards. Works soo much life of passing him by. He would go to the river if I let his two dogs on my boat (no fucking way in hell)

My other friend who is married and has a kid. Our wives work together too. He works a lot as well but not as much on the weekends and friend one. They live close (10 min) away and we never see them or hear from them despite numerous attempts at going out to dinner or something.

I have invited them to the river all expenses paid minus gas to get there and alcohol. They still don’t go.

The biggest issue when talking to them is money so I try to take that out of the picture and still doesn’t happen I am pretty sure it’s just me and they don’t want to hang out or idk lol

When we do get together we all have a blast and a really good time. So idk

Earlier this year I met a board member and I spend way more time with him then my other friends of 15 years.

But I guess your right we are in the same place in life and both do the same things so it’s more of being in the same place and have the goal of doing the same things

River desert
Or baseball and dance

 

[rrrr]

In almost forty years of boating and asking people to come along with us, I can count on one hand the times I have been offered cash to pay for gas or food my wife prepared. Although we have always owned really nice boats, I'm not a millionaire. I don't flash cash or brag about my finances.

I never really paid much attention to the situation. Never hit up people for money. Some of them were unbelievable freeloaders. The brother of my ex-wife was a good example of that.

He never chipped in for gas, ate our food, and wouldn't help getting gear out. He stood around watching our parasailing ground crew and never pitched in. He never picked up a towel to wipe down the boat.

After a couple of seasons of this I told him he was no longer welcome on our boat. Following that he bad-mouthed me to all of our mutual friends and spread lies about how he had been a fantastic first mate, did all the work, etc.

Our "friends" never bothered to apologize or offer money when one of our jet skis was damaged through carelessness. Most of the time they wouldn't even tell me the ski had been damaged.

By the time we sold our last boat because of my health issues, most of the time it was just my wife and I on outings. We didn't want to share with jerkoffs that weren't able to acknowledge their errors.

Fuggin' freeloaders. Eff 'em.

 

[monkeyswrench]

I have yet to own "Nice" boats. I've only had a few, and to me they were nice (floated, limited leaks, ran good...) So wiping down a boat is a newer concept for me. Usually it ends up being about once a year I'll go out with my family on my BIL's boat. It gets sprayed and wiped down, and always offer at least a hundred dollar bill for fuel. We usually pack food for everybody...he and his girl are usually just worried about packing the beer. Kind of sucks, if someone else is driving, I'd be game to drink. Not really an option...just in case kind of thing.

That said, even family can flake. Last summer we were going to meet my BIL at a specific beach. Told the kids and packed up, launched skis...boat is on the DL Heading up river, he passes us full throttle. Wife tried calling him when we got to the beach, no answer. We hang out at the beach, trying to play down my and tell the kids some BS...They only see him at the river. He neglected to say he brought his girlfriend and their group of useless breathers. They got bored on the beach...though meeting there was their idea...and went down to the channel to hangout. I was pissed! From his call to beach was about 45min and he hadn't even launched yet. Don't make me come up with answers for my kids because you changed your mind! My wife at first didn't understand why I was torqued. Then she thought about it and realized he set it up, but blew us off to party. Oh, and her little brother is 40...old enough for follow through. Wife even decided we no longer plan with him...if we meet up on the river, great.

 

[milkmoney]

WTH?!
You would make a great babysitter!

You forgot that yore an assclown.

I dont like kids [emoji39], and yes I am a assclown [emoji202]

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

 

[Shlbyntro]

Ok, gotta ask this of the people who's friends have not time. Not thatguy, his "friend" is a different breed all together! Do some of those friends have toys just sitting? Are these the types that work so much to have the toys, but due to that have no time to use them? just bragging rights? I guess the abstract good thing living out here is this: The average pay kind of sucks, so missing a day or three of work really doesn't mean a lot

I would understand missing stuff for kids, that is a given. You do that stuff, your kids come first. I put work ahead of life, and I wasn't happy with the outcome. Everybody has different priorities. I don't look at what someone has to offer me as a friend. I look for common interests, and common values. Sometimes though, both of those can change.

Mostly it's just the too busy, can't afford it excuse. I have 1 set of friends that have kids and that actually is the reason they can't do anything. Trust me, those little witches are a handful. But I also have other friends that have kids, and the kids are just their latest greatest excuse because they had excuses up the wahzoo long before the kids came along. I am really the only one with the toys....

 

[Ziggy]

The worst ones are those that say they're going then call the day of departure or as you're driving out to let you know they can't make it out suddenly.
.