Mixed Emotions...

[racered]

Here is my position, I have walked a straight line for twenty four years since disgracing myself and damaging my family.
I would never use my mother,brother, or anyone to try to reinsert myself into the family. Consequences are just that.

 

[coolchange]

It's nothing you haven't handled before, and can handle again if need be.
I would assume that your mom thinks that the situation would not be volatile, and she would not put you or your family in that position.
Perhaps she's trying to build a bridge.
You know that feeling you get when you watch your kids playing and working together. Maybe she's just looking to get a little bit of that.
in the last few years of her life all my mom ever said she wished for was that we could get back together as a family again. All over some petty bullshit with my brother's wives.
The imagination and anticipation of what could happen, is almost always greater than what eventually plays out. The best example would be "wait till your father gets home"!
It'll be okay, and regardless of how it turns out you'll know you did right by your mom.

 

[RiverDave]

it is a sickness that some can turn away from either solo or with a ton of help, or they end up lifers and that's all they know. not to steal from your emotions and stories but i am the oldest brother who lived thru alcohol/drug dealer and addicted parents/family most of my life the shit iv seen was fn insane and now my youngest brother being all the above in and out of prisons and rehabs. ya i got some old demons but have found a way to live above the influence and not get tangled in the weave of that sickness. i can say my parents went cold turkey been clean for 25 years hope my bro (39 yrs old) can figure it out once he gets out of chino in 3yrs...smh i truly believe my fascination with sports, boats and cars young deterred me from a lot BS... @RiverDave wish you luck and hope your brother sees what life can really be and you guys have a killer time together.

Not stealing anything from me! The point of the thread is to say I know a lot of people have "someone" in their family like this.. Most never talk about it. This is where my deal is at.. and if you wanted to share your story you're more than welcome.

RD

 

[shreve"T"]

WOW !! Reading through both pages and realizing that we all have similar situations in some ways.. This opened up a lot of thoughts that I have as well as reservations towards family members that are strung out on drugs living in parks in Escondido.. My younger brother died about 3 yers ago and it has been nothing but a nightmare..

I even question what family really means after the mess we went through with the 2 children he left behind..

 

[guest hs]

My wife has a couple of cousins both female mid 40’s now they both have been a piece of shit their entire life (drugs/alcohol). They have always let my wife down one way or the other through their lives. It’s was about ten years ago the younger one of the two broke into my wife’s parents house (hi on Meth) and stoke a bunch of small valuable things while they were out of state on vacation. One of the items was my mother-in-law’s wedding ring one she got handed down through the family over the years. We found out she pawned it, I was furious that is an irreplaceable item. I ask my mother-in-law of a picture of it so I can go buy it back. She insisted on me not doing that I really never have figured out why she didn’t want me too. Anyways into the future. My in-laws now talk to her and watch her younger child once a week my wife kind of will talk to her if she calls on some special occasion. I on the other hand refuse to see her talk to her or want anything to do with her the rest of my lifer. In my opinion what she did is unreversable

 

[RiverDave]

Dave,

Your story reads like mine. The outcome though was not.

I dealt with an older brother who is a drug addict, and he caused immeasurable havok in my family and in my life....that goes on to this day.

At a time when my father was sick with cancer, my drug addict brother moved back in with my parents, and from that point I was no longer welcome in that house because he was there. The last few times I was able to see my father alone, was when he was in the hospital with one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave. I had to go in after hours, because my mother and brother had told the nurses that I wasn't to be allowed in. The staff talked with my father and he wanted me there and made provisions for me to see him without them knowing.

What exactly had I done? I did what I was supposed to. Got a job, an education, and made a good life. I was unhappy with the idea that my brother was freeloading off my parents and that my mother was enabling his destructive behaviors and was vocal in making that known. Ditto for my older sister (I am the youngest of 3).

When my father died (1995), my sister and I were told by my mother's lawyer not to contact either of them. Which I never did.

Fast forward 15 years (2010) and my mother dies. Through sheer dumb luck my aunt was diving by my mothers house. It backed up to a main road, and there was open space where the house was visible from that main road. My aunt noticed the flashing lights of the police cars and manages to swing by and notices the coroner etc. Aunt calls my sister, who calls the sheriff's office. Yep, she's dead. The deputy was suspicious of my sister, and didn't want to reveal any information because when asked by the sheriff's deputy "is ther anyone esle we should contact" my brother responded "NO". So, had my aunt not been traveling by I would have never known she was dead (I live in another city 100 miles away). Come to the "last Will and Testament' and neither my sister and I are mentioned, the entire estate is bequethed to this drug addict. Who promptly squanders it on drugs and is now homeless 6 months after inheriting $700K in cash and two houses worth $150K each. That's a lot of crack cocaine

That was 8 years ago. I got a telephone call two weeks ago on my birthday (10/01) from someone named Dave. He's my brother's (slum) landlord and he says I need to pay him $3000 in back rent or he's going to put a lean on my house. I question him on how I became involved. He says that my brother Paul, put my name on the rental contract and that he has my signature as a guarantor. I tell him to fuck off, the signature is a forgery and that I am not paying him a dime. Further, that if he puts a lean on my house that he should get his affairs in order because it's not going to end well for him.

This shitstorm never ends. My nephew is trying get a security clearance and this situation is something that is a problem for him.

The best possible outcome for all of us, is for my brother to assume room temperature. Though, I doubt that Hell will have him.

I respect you for your attempt to be civil, but my advice to you is not to let him into your house. He will only become jealous and enraged, and he will hate you for your success. It is a non-stop cycle and there is no happy ending. The best you can do is to protect yourself and your family from him. Trust me, things will only get worse....especially when your mother passes away. There will no longer be any boundaries when that happens.

There are things that are unforgivable. When those lines are crossed you have to protect yourself and your family.

I wish you the best off luck, but do not be surprised when there is a massive "issue". The shape and form of that I will leave to your imagination because you know them best. But it is not a matter of IF, but WHEN.

My brother is just fucked up.. You're brother fucked up and an asshole! LOL I think they should get together and go bowling or something.

 

[RiverDave]

Very tough read and good on you for making an attempt. That being said don't hesitate to do what you need to do if things start going south

I wouldn't even blink.. That said I honestly don't think anything is going to happen out here on this trip. He has managed to not drink or do drugs this time around for the last couple of months. My mom had a couple of beers in her fridge that she had forgotten about and he never touched them. She eventually poured them out to remove temptation.

Not sure why this time out of jail is different, but I guess it is? Used to be he'd get out of jail and would be wasted in a park with his homeless buddies literally as fast as the bus could get him there. It wasn't days or weeks, it was hours before he was back in jail.

Dave,

I remember our conversation about this in Parker. It was on your mind heavily then.
While I have never lived with what you have I am certainly familiar with how it can impact families, been to probably 100's of calls when things like this go sour. One of the greatest failures of our society is the failure of the mental health system...and our own inability to deal with drugs.

In your words there is blinding pain, but also a current of wisdom. You know who you are you know what you have done with your life, and you most certainly know what your priorities are...Stacy and the kids. I am sure this has been a long time coming...my advice for what it is worth.
-Expect nothing, be surprised by nothing.
-Be alert, be aware. If lines get crossed then do what needs to be done to fix the problem.
-Enjoy the time with your mom, and, if you can, the time with your brother...but be prepared to close the door if you need to.

I am sure this is on your mind, I wish you the best during this stressful, difficult time.

Your memory is amazing to me. You often bring up conversations that we had years back, and I'm like "How does he remember all this shit?" LOL I have zero doubt you have rolled up on many calls, and seem similar scenarios over the years. I'm quite sure even in a small town they all have that guy.

Respect the honesty RD. You definitely have a big heart and I hope to see a nice follow-up post to it. Your brother has had his chances at a life...you need to be damn sure that your kids won't have to be sitting on those stairs hearing things.

My Wife and I would never fight over my brother.. Long story short I wouldn't allow it on any level. Any stress what so ever and he's down the road without any hesitation.

If you are referring to my wife and I fighting over our kids.. It's my biggest fear in life that one of my kids gets hooked up into that life. If one of them does though and it isn't fixable immediately.. Well I learned in my experiences it's pretty rare you can save them from themselves.

RD

 

[boater250s]

One of the best decisions I’ve made in my life was not to have my siblings in my life.sometimes family is overrated.but that’s just me

 

[RiverDave]

Strong emotions for sure Dave. Some similar stories regarding a nephew of mine, sans any of the serious violence. Can I ask if you will abstain from CL and/or have it in the house while your brother is visiting?

Drank em all last night Ziggy.. Where do ya think the post came from at 5:00 am.. LOL



As for the rest, I don't know why because history certainly doesn't dictate it... but I don't think he's gonna drink while he's out here.

What I am concerned about is, with guys like this they are pretty "fragile" from a mental standpoint. I'm a little concerned that coming out here might bring back old memories, or self realizations? It doesn't take much to tip the scales into breakdown if you know what I mean.

Either way I realize him not drinking / drugs / and even being half ass normal is more than likely a temporary situation. On the other hand, I haven't spent an entire day with my brother where he was "normal" in 20+ years, right up until we went to Sea World a month or two ago. I kind of find myself wondering if at the ripe young age of 56 if he might actually be growing out of it? I sure hope so..

That said, can you imagine trying to deal with the reality that you are now of retirement age, and have literally accomplished nothing in your life? He always talks of huge ideas, and grandiose plans. Wants to get a couple million from the Indian Casino's and restart one of my old mans plumbing fill valves..

His latest Idea is he wants to donate a kidney.. Get media exposure from it and raise money for a halfway house that he can run for people in "transition" and run it as a non profit. I'll give him this he's creative.. LOL

That said I'll refer back to the couldn't pay the light bill if you filled out the check for him.

RD

 

[5oclocksomewhere]

I thought about it for awhile and realized. I got no advice for you or anyone else in this situation. Only you know what's right and what you'll need to do. I'm at odds with my sister now for 3 years and haven't spoken to her in the last 3 years. Everybody wants to try to give advice and get us talking but knowbody ever knows the full situation only us involved in the feud at hand know what's the right thing to do. I think we're just all curious of how your visit turns out, at least I am. Hoping for the best and a positive visit.

 

[RiverDave]

I thought about it for awhile and realized. I got no advice for you or anyone else in this situation. Only you know what's right and what you'll need to do. I'm at odds with my sister now for 3 years and haven't spoken to her in the last 3 years. Everybody wants to try to give advice and get us talking but knowbody ever knows the full situation only us involved in the feud at hand know what's the right thing to do. I think we're just all curious of how your visit turns out, at least I am. Hoping for the best and a positive visit.

I'm hoping it will as well, and that's part of why I said it's nervous yet exciting at the same time. When we were at Sea World I had Stacy take a picture of me and him.. Honestly my thought process was it would likely be the last picture I ever took with him, and a memory of a good day.. Because as mentioned before I haven't had a whole good day with him in over 20 years.

I guess this time we are trying Tuesday until Saturday. Probably part of the reason why I'm nervous..

The whole thing is fairly awkward, because this is the new reality if I want to see my Mom, and she's getting up there in age so god knows how many times I'm gonna get to see her again living a State away. As it sits it's about 3-4 times a year and she's in her mid 70's.

RD

 

[rivermobster]

Man I've been thinking about this a lot, and, what I said earlier...

My wife's family had the same bad apple as your bro. His mom (my wife's grandmother) never gave up on him and repeatedly tried to help him. (Moms will never give up on their babies).

He ended up dead on the street in Vegas eventually. Yet, she never gave up on him, and she Always told everyone, "he is doing better this time".

With that being said...

A mom will always defend her baby. She may not intentionally put you in harm's way, but your mom is trying to do what's best for her baby, and probably not really thinking fully about you.

What sticks in my head most about your story is, your mom "unwilling to leave him alone"...

If that really IS the case, do you want this guy in Your house??

If she can't trust him, why should you? Might be time to rethink this whole situation.

My heart goes out to you on this one...

 

[RiverDave]

Man I've been thinking about this a lot, and, what I said earlier...

My wife's family had the same bad apple as your bro. His mom (my wife's grandmother) never gave up on him and repeatedly tried to help him. (Moms will never give up on their babies).

He ended up dead on the street in Vegas eventually. Yet, she never gave up on him, and she Always told everyone, "he is doing better this time".

With that being said...

A mom will always defend her baby. She may not intentionally put you in harm's way, but your mom is trying to do what's best for her baby, and probably not really thinking fully about you.

What sticks in my head most about your story is, your mom "unwilling to leave him alone"...

If that really IS the case, do you want this guy in Your house??

If she can't trust him, why should you? Might be time to rethink this whole situation.

My heart goes out to you on this one...

Yeah it isn’t lost on me Joe.. On one hand you want to say you can’t leave him alone because you are the glue kind of holding it all together for him.. he’s pretty harmless sitting there watching tv. That’s the enabler way if thinking. The reality of it is trust and lack of it, that idle hands will make the devils work. How long can he be by himself before shit goes sideways, the answer is not long.

 

[JD D05]

Crazy to read Dave. My wife's brother got into drugs real bad. A few years ago we were going downtown and saw him panhandling at the stop light...

 

[Cole Trickle]

I'm hoping it will as well, and that's part of why I said it's nervous yet exciting at the same time. When we were at Sea World I had Stacy take a picture of me and him.. Honestly my thought process was it would likely be the last picture I ever took with him, and a memory of a good day.. Because as mentioned before I haven't had a whole good day with him in over 20 years.

I guess this time we are trying Tuesday until Saturday. Probably part of the reason why I'm nervous..

The whole thing is fairly awkward, because this is the new reality if I want to see my Mom, and she's getting up there in age so god knows how many times I'm gonna get to see her again living a State away. As it sits it's about 3-4 times a year and she's in her mid 70's.

RD

That's a long stretch...

My only advise if you wish to have a good week and perhaps continue towards rebuilding a broken relationship is to not try and solve 20 years worth of issues in a couple of days. Perhaps not revisiting the past and just living in the moment would be good for both of you....Havasu seems like the better choice for activities just head out on a SXS ride or a tour of the lake in the Hallett and check out the scenery. Stay away from the bars and drinking but yet stay busy so the conversation is light.

With that said I probably couldn't do it so good for you and I hope it works out for everyone. My self defense mechanism only allows so much and it's getting shorter and shorter as I age.

 

[Flyinbowtie]

I remember the conversation because it came from your heart. Lotsa people around but you and I were by ourselves, having a beer, against the rail looking at the canal there at the house. We talked of this, and of our Dads...whom we both lost too damn young...we talked well into the night.
It is entirely possible he has changed Dave... or at least grown a bit older. It is also probable that he has not. Like I said....expect nothing, take care of your wife and children. If he steps on his dick it is on him.
Reading some more, and thinking some more, it is cool to let him see what you and Stacy have accomplished for yourselves...the house, the boats the toys...but let him absorb it all at his pace. If you think he might take it as you rubbing his face in your success take it slowly my friend...
If your Mom has considered all the possibilities and knows what exposing your children...her grandchildren to... (nothing on this earth more important to me than mine), then perhaps she sees a chance. No WAY I would risk it in her shoes, if I wasn't pretty damn confident he was gonna be decent. If he screws this up then she is gonna carry some guilt too.
I don''t envy you, but right now I wish I was closer. Like, next door fer instance.
We had several in this town, hell I still remember their damn names. I can say with no hesitation that at least 30% of the calls we roll on involve people with problems like your brother, either purely a straight up mental health issue or one brought on by drug use. It is a damn shame.

We are headed to the desert this weekend to recon a trip next month.
I will be thinking about you.
Give Stacy a hug for me, and just FYI we are plotting another trip south around March, might show up in yer neighborhood...

 

[Ziggy]

Drank em all last night Ziggy.. Where do ya think the post came from at 5:00 am.. LOL



As for the rest, I don't know why because history certainly doesn't dictate it... but I don't think he's gonna drink while he's out here.

What I am concerned about is, with guys like this they are pretty "fragile" from a mental standpoint. I'm a little concerned that coming out here might bring back old memories, or self realizations? It doesn't take much to tip the scales into breakdown if you know what I mean.

Either way I realize him not drinking / drugs / and even being half ass normal is more than likely a temporary situation. On the other hand, I haven't spent an entire day with my brother where he was "normal" in 20+ years, right up until we went to Sea World a month or two ago. I kind of find myself wondering if at the ripe young age of 56 if he might actually be growing out of it? I sure hope so..

That said, can you imagine trying to deal with the reality that you are now of retirement age, and have literally accomplished nothing in your life? He always talks of huge ideas, and grandiose plans. Wants to get a couple million from the Indian Casino's and restart one of my old mans plumbing fill valves..

His latest Idea is he wants to donate a kidney.. Get media exposure from it and raise money for a halfway house that he can run for people in "transition" and run it as a non profit. I'll give him this he's creative.. LOL

That said I'll refer back to the couldn't pay the light bill if you filled out the check for him.

RD

Good job sir
.
Go into it with your glass half full. Best advise I read here was to not try to fix the past 25 yrs but live the moment. Ending the week positively can only be a benefit for all.

 

[RiverDave]

Honestly I'm not really going to try to fix anything... I don't think there's anything there to fix. I just want to spend some time with my mom, and if he's good then my kids will know there uncle during a good period.

RD

 

[Old Texan]

It sounds like it might be too late now, however, have you considered AirBNB for a few days in town for your mother and him?

They can see all your favorite places and enjoy the town you live in and you can spend the day / evening with them and he will never actually come to your place...

This will work RD .......Have contractors rigs at the house and tell bro, work being done and only you, wife, and kids can stay. Keeps him at bay until you can get an in person evaluation. Then move with caution

 

[Old Texan]

RD, I was just thinking more about your upcoming week.....Will your bro likely check out RDP and wander into the Lounge where this thread resides????????

Better keep him down in the basement......

 

[RiverDave]

This will work RD .......Have contractors rigs at the house and tell bro, work being done and only you, wife, and kids can stay. Keeps him at bay until you can get an in person evaluation. Then move with caution

Lol Might be a little hard to orchestrate all that in the next hour or so.. LOL

RD, I was just thinking more about your upcoming week.....Will your bro likely check out RDP and wander into the Lounge where this thread resides????????

Better keep him down in the basement......

I don't think he comes on here... Honestly I'm not sure? I know at Christmas a few years back some family members made some comments about threads, and I was like WTF??? LOL I had no idea they lurked on here, or even knew about it.

I've always kind of lived by the theory that all I have is my word and my balls and I'm not breaking either for anybody.. If he reads it, so be it.. There's nothing untruthful in here, or meant to be hurtful in anyway.

Just like I said.. Nervous and excited at the same time. I hope it goes well.

RD

 

[AZMIDLYF]

Negative RD...I was just referring to them having to witness some form of chaos/situation happening, not an argument between you and your wife or a down the road issue with your little ones. All the best for you and your family Dave.

 

[Mandelon]

Well, just don't loan him that flat bed trailer. That'd be the last straw for sure.

 

[RiverDave]

Negative RD...I was just referring to them having to witness some form of chaos/situation happening, not an argument between you and your wife or a down the road issue with your little ones. All the best for you and your family Dave.

The only witness to chaos and situations around here is me and my wife watching my three kids create chaos and situations.. LOL



I am surprised at how many comments this thread got, and how many PM's and even phone calls about it. I do want to clarify that just because my brother has been a "bad guy" he's not really a "Bad Guy" if you know what I'm saying. I don't think he's ever stolen anything, if he did it was probably a couple bucks.. It's just one of those deals where he is fucked up. If he drinks or smokes weed shit gets out of control quick, and it isn't like "oh he's just drunk" it's screaming about Indians and birthdays, and patents, and it's just all over the place and nobody can make heads or tails of it.

I want to say a few years there he actually had over 100 drunk in publics per year. LOL.. Eventually they get tired of that shit, and start locking him up for longer periods of time. I think he did a couple of years not that long ago.. and I think more recently 6-8 months. Don't quote me on it. I kinda stopped caring about it when I moved 200+ miles away because there isn't anything I can do about it.

It's just one of those things that how many times can you set him up. Here's your apartment here's your new life. That lasts all of a day, maybe two.. Here's your half way house, here's clothes, here's what you need.. That lasts a week? Maybe? How many sober houses can you put someone in, where they get booted.. LOL My favorite was the last one where he went to the liquor store and literally got the whole place wasted and had a party..

RD

 

[Bullet28]

I just want to say thank you to all for sharing your stories mine is a little different but somewhat the same our son is 36 and doing great now but at 21 to about 32 he did everything in his power to have issues with 2 things that never mix and that’s anger and alcohol he was the kind of your man that when the hat went on backwards it was on and at 6’-3’’ 220 he is a decent size man a couple of 502’s and wrecking a new truck and the fear that me and his mom dealt with is something I never would wish on anyone, we have 2 grandsons 10 and 8 that came from his first marriage and our new daughter in-law was sent to him from god above and what changed his life is His Will and his faith that he had and never lost there was a time in my life that booze had me cornered but in order to help him I had to be right and we never gave up on him and today he talks about being a only child and I now understand more of where he’s coming from, dam you gotta dig deep to try and make sense of it all if that’s even possible.

Dave I appreciate your story it goes to show us all we never know what another man is going through and women also so with our experience I have learned to never judge you can be humbled quickly as I have and my wife have been.

Ray

 

[jetur]

I think in this day and age most of us are dealing with family members with some kind of drug issue. Mine is my Dad and his pills. His back is truly F@#$#@, but it has cost me a lot in my younger years. From money to wife problems for enabling. Now, I take more of a tough shit attitude and he's doing much better. (Holding a job, scheduled surgery, ECT)

It's a breath of fresh air hearing everyone has the same problem I have. Lol

It sounds like you covered the nuetral meeting at SeaWorld. That meeting must have gone well enough for you to agree to this vaca with him. I hope it all goes well.

 

[rivermobster]

My favorite was the last one where he went to the liquor store and literally got the whole place wasted and had a party..

RD

Old school river behavior right there!

 

[RiverDave]

Things are going fine so far.. Went to goodwill and donated a stroller and some other stuff. Went to the liquor store and bought a bunch of lottery tickets for the Powerball tonight. I'm going to have him help me do the inventory for RDP tonight (save some money, and give us something to do). Later on we might do a campfire.

RD

 

[monkeyswrench]

I hope all goes well. I also hope the weather stays decent for you...some things just work out better in the sun. I hope your wife and mom get along, to give you some "Bro-time". Life is pretty short, once you're old enough to realize you're not invincible. Maybe he's seen the horizon isn't as far as it was.

 

[ElAzul]

Put a tent on your trailer and let him crash in the "camper". Tell him he better not fuk it up because it may be his one day and he will be the envy of his buddies.

 

[Racing97]

Dave I too walked on egg shells for many years remember there is always hope...always

 

[vdcruiser]

Mind sharing how this has worked out so far, Dave?

 

[guest hs]

Just thinking the same thing.

 

[RiverDave]

Mind sharing how this has worked out so far, Dave?

They came out, and things actually went pretty well. My brother is mentally ill and there's "tells" when he's getting nervous etc.. He will start rubbing his hands a lot, and other things like bouncing knees when he's sitting etc. Needless to say he was doing that a lot the whole time he was out here. Had to be pretty emotional for him having not been out to the river in 20-30 years. He grew up coming out here the same as I did, and was basically black balled after an incident in the keys.. not sure if I put that in the thread or not.

Long story short he came up to Havasu and we hung out up here for a two days. Then I took him down to Parker, and took them around in the Hallett. They were originally coming up from Tuesday to Saturday, but ended up going home Friday. My mom was getting anxious about her dog. I think she was also nervous about staying too long with him, but who knows.

I could tell you he was enjoying being in Parker quite a bit, and seeing all the new houses and reliving memories. I always forget that he grew up out here, and he remembers a lot of the old original people and has crazy stories about all of them. He was saying "Does this guy still live here? I remember I was with his daughter one time, and he came in the front door, and I ran out the back.." LOL.. Some of them were pretty amusing to say the least. That said the entire time we were in the keys etc.. You could tell it was bringing up a lot inside of him (to say the least). It was probably better we didn't stay the night in Parker and do it two days in a row or longer.

Overall the trip went pretty good though.. So like I said exciting but nervous. I'm not sure where he goes from here, as this is the first time he hasn't started drinking and partying immediately after he got out of jail. I can say the last time I talked to him he was going to go to "the park" in Carlsbad to meet some of his old friends and get an Apartment. I told him if he goes to the park he's gonna go to jail. Not sure if it got through to him or not. I do know he was preparing some speech to give to the cops about all the injustices he and some people he knows have suffered at their hands.. I also told him you go try to give that speech you are gonna end up not only beaten, but in jail.. Again not sure if it got through or not.

At the end of the day if he ends up partying and going back down that course.. I'd say I live far enough away he isn't gonna make it out here. If he doesn't, then I hope he has some kind of semblance of life moving forward.

It was an interesting couple of days, and it was nice to spend a couple of "normal" days with my brother. Previous to that Sea World trip, like I said it hadn't happened in 20+ years?

RD

 

[vdcruiser]

Good to hear that things went pretty well, thanks for sharing.

 

[guest hs]

Glad things went better then expected.

 

[HNL2LHC]

Thanks for sharing Dave. GOod to hear that there was not drama. Best of luck to your family as you move forward.

 

[Old Texan]

Great that all went well.

Sad to hear he plans to visit with his old crew and has a speech rehearsed. That has relapse written all over it.

 

[RiverDave]

Great that all went well.

Sad to hear he plans to visit with his old crew and has a speech rehearsed. That has relapse written all over it.

Yeah.. I tried to explain that wasn't a good idea, but I don't think it made much of a dent. On the upside some of his crew has gone sober (or so they say) since he got out of jail? I dunno.. We'll see how it turns out.

RD

 

[Shlbyntro]

Wow, long read but it was worth reading, Read a bunch of yalls stories too. I too am in the same boat. My younger sister has battled with drugs since she was a young teenager. She has OD'ed twice both times being legally dead at the hospital for 8 and 11 minutes before being successfully recessitated. Several dui's as well as a bakers dozen other possession and theft charges. my parents have enabled her all her life and even bough her a house before her last relapse. I've been pretty much taking care of myself since the very beginning. The house we lived in as I grew up was a shell full of people that were related to eachother and by no means a family. My sisters illness has affected the family in very similar ways to a bunch of yalls and at times I wasn't even on speaking terms with my sister or my parents.

The broken environment I grew up in permanently affected who I am today. I am very poor with any kind of a relationship outside of a business one and have an extremely difficult time depending on anyone for anything. I'm very shut off and guarded to the world around me because of it.

Single and live 1200miles away from my closest family. And this thanksgiving will be the first time I've seen my sister in 5 years.

Any time I'm around my family, it is like walking on eggshells. I feel for you RD and hope all goes well for you and the rest of us as family holidays are around the corner wwhich is a time of year I have always had mixed feelings about

 

[DrunkenSailor]

Glad things went well Dave. I was thinking about you a lot over the weekend. You're a good man.

 

[RiverDave]

Well heard from mom a little bit ago.. he’s at the park now. I expect that deal will end up with him in jail. If it doesn’t I’d be very surprised. Either way like I said it was nice seeing him for a couple days normal’ish

 

[steak&lobster]

Sounds like it went as good as cou

Well heard from mom a little bit ago.. he’s at the park now. I expect that deal will end up with him in jail. If it doesn’t I’d be very surprised. Either way like I said it was nice seeing him for a couple days normal’ish

I agree with your whole approach/attitude

 

[monkeyswrench]

Damn, when you mention the "tells" when your brother was nervous...My sister did the bouncing knee thing, but would also stutter. My mom used to say my sister was broken, we just can't fix her. I don't what drug causes that type of damage, or if it is all of them. I hope your brother sees his friends, and knows they are useless.

 

[RiverDave]

Sounds like it went as good as cou

I agree with your whole approach/attitude

Well I got the call, he won’t be returning to my moms place. He must have drank or smoked weed or something because he was all over the place. He will be in jail a few hours I’m sure.

 

[DrunkenSailor]

Well I got the call, he won’t be returning to my moms place. He must have drank or smoked weed or something because he was all over the place. He will be in jail a few hours I’m sure.

Really sad to hear that. At least you got a few good days.

 

[JD D05]

Well I got the call, he won’t be returning to my moms place. He must have drank or smoked weed or something because he was all over the place. He will be in jail a few hours I’m sure.

That sucks man

 

[stephenkatsea]

You tried. Maybe just your efforts and trying will help the many others here who are dealing with similar situations. And maybe, just maybe their efforts may have a more positive result. Your sharing the very personal story and history has meant a lot to many. You tried and shared. Thanks.

 

[RiverDave]

That sucks man

It was expected.. you can only go round the merry go round so many times before you figure out it ends the same way every time.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Damn, sorry to hear it...hope for the best, but expect the worst. Same as life in general, but with family you have no choices.