Maybe I can talk about it a little bit now....

[Flying_Lavey]

Well, my divorce all comes down to the judge's signature. We have been able to remain civil and get everything sorted and sufficiently documented on our own so we were able to avoid attorneys and a very drawn out court proceeding (assuming the judge doesn't toss out the agreement).

Damn the emotions are WAY more mixed than I ever though they would be.

 

[mbrown2]

Damn the emotions are WAY more mixed than I ever though they would be.

Wish you best on finalizing.... Never been through it but what do you by mixed? Like part of you wants to fix it vs divorce? Just wondering...can't imaging the emotions one goes through during a divorce.

 

[Flying_Lavey]

Wish you best on finalizing.... Never been through it but what do you by mixed? Like part of you wants to fix it vs divorce? Just wondering...can't imaging the emotions one goes through during a divorce.

A little of everything really. Sadness, Hope, Dispair, Eagerness, anxiety, anger, love..... I'm sure there are more that I cant put my finger on at the moment.

 

[RVR SWPR]

Judge signing off on divorce is just the beginning of many years. You have indicated understanding the responsibilities of raising 4 kids. Take your time on any situation of remarriage and blending etc. Good Luck

 

[Xring01]

Do your best to focus on the positive things that put a smile on your face.
But be willing to deal with the grief that comes with losing someone who was important in your life. The sooner you get past that, the faster you will heal/feel better.

If at all possible, take a few days off to your self and just let the brain do what it wants to do. I know thats not possible in most people case’s.

Just remember, their are alot of assholes on RDP that you can vent to. For the most part, we have your back and best intentions, but some of them… well just learn to ignore em… works me for. LOL

 

[SLT Kota]

It is wonderful that you were able to keep lawyers out of it. I hope everything remains civil for you.


Divorce is never easy on anyone, I wish you the best and hope to never go down that road. If you ever need to talk or vent to someone random please feel free to reach out.

Wishing you and your family the best!

 

[monkeyswrench]

Different situations bring on different thoughts and memories. Some can be good, others a kick to the teeth.

More than anything, it may be the fear of the unknown. To you, it is most certainly new ground to be on. Rest assured though, there are footprints both ahead and behind you, many others have stood there as well.

I've been a good dad at times, but a horrible husband at times as well. Maybe it can be to your advantage, as making kids happy is a lot easier I've found than pleasing a wife. Whatever the case, I know you'll be fine, and you'll do what's best for the kids.

 

[bonesfab]

You already won if you didn't get the attorneys involved. Just say no to marriage. It is a giant scam to screw men.

 

[Cole Trickle]

Be the best dad possible. Whenever she gives you extra time take it.

Be a good co parent and work in a positive manner with the ex to give the kids the closest thing possible to a normal loving family.

Spend time on you when you don't have the kids.

Go to the gym , read some books, go hiking , get out doors and stay active. Work in the garage on a project

I think you already got snipped so that's done.

Don't even think about bringing a relationship around the kids for a couple years. Avoid anything more than casual stuff for a while as it will only cause conflict and rock the boat.

Good luck I imagine things will start to get better now that the divorce is all but settled and the weight of the world is removed from your shoulders.

 

[FlyByWire]

Keep your head up. New beginnings. If you have kids involved, keep them priority #1.

I’m the one that filed and I bawled my eyes out the moment the judge looked at us both and said as of now you are both single persons, and then signed the dissolution.

 

[Runs2rch]

Be the best dad possible. Whenever she gives you extra time take it.

Be a good co parent and work in a positive manner with the ex to give the kids the closest thing possible to a normal loving family.

Spend time on you when you don't have the kids.

Go to the gym , read some books, go hiking , get out doors and stay active. Work in the garage on a project

I think you already got snipped so that's done.

Don't even think about bringing a relationship around the kids for a couple years. Avoid anything more than casual stuff for a while as it will only cause conflict and rock the boat.

Good luck I imagine things will start to get better now that the divorce is all but settled and the weight of the world is removed from your shoulders.

My only add to this would be go bang a bunch of strange so we can live vicariously through you hahaha

 

[Gelcoater]

How old are you, Lavey?
My parents divorced when I was a freshman in HS. I was an only child.

A little over a decade later?
I had a half sister. He was 50!
Was sort of a mind bender, his wife and mine were pregnant at the same time.
His first grandchild and his second child.

The point here, you never know what life is going to throw your way after something like this until you go out and do it.

It may be the beginning of something you never thought possible or expected, or someones life you may change for the better. Because you are in a position to do so.

 

[Waterjunky]

You need to do you for a little while. Don't let yourself get into anything serious for awhile. This does not mean don't go tap something. Just don't get serious. You need to heal yourself a little first. otherwise you will have so much baggage that it will be nothing more than a mess.

 

[dezertrider]

Assuming the judge will stamp his approval. Congrats on the second half of your life. You will look back at this day as the best decision of your lfe

I split from my X 26 years ago. My son was 5 and my daughter was 2, I was so broke I had to cash out my small 401k to buy a bed, Used the TV from the RV and a milk crate to sit on.

Its amazing what can happen when you meet the right person in your future

 

[BHC Vic]

How old are you, Lavey?
My parents divorced when I was a freshman in HS. I was an only child.

A little over a decade later?
I had a half sister. He was 50!
Was sort of a mind bender, his wife and mine were pregnant at the same time.
His first grandchild and his second child.

The point here, you never know what life is going to throw your way after something like this until you go out and do it.

It may be the beginning of something you never thought possible or expected, or someones life you may change for the better. Because you are in a position to do so.

I had a half sister. He was 50!

For fucks sake with everything going on in todays world i had to read this like 10 times to understand it I thought you had a tranny 50 year old half sibling a decade later I’ll see myself out now

 

[81Sprint]

How old are you, Lavey?
My parents divorced when I was a freshman in HS. I was an only child.

A little over a decade later?
I had a half sister. He was 50!
Was sort of a mind bender, his wife and mine were pregnant at the same time.
His first grandchild and his second child.

The point here, you never know what life is going to throw your way after something like this until you go out and do it.

It may be the beginning of something you never thought possible or expected, or someones life you may change for the better. Because you are in a position to do so.

Ha, I have a half brother that is 22. My son is 21. My dad turns 70 this weeekend. Same situation

 

[angiebaby]

Here’s to new beginnings.

 

[DILLIGAF]

Just keep moving forward, keep your head up, dont talk about the ex to new women, dont intro your kids to dates and concentrate on the kids.

 

[DMF]

I had a half sister. He was 50!

For fucks sake with everything going on in todays world i had to read this like 10 times to understand it I thought you had a tranny 50 year old half sibling a decade later I’ll see myself out now

fucked me up for a minute as well.

 

[4Waters]

fucked me up for a minute as well.

X3

 

[Jimmyv]

I’m reading this and I’m hearing you.

Finalized mine 2 months back. Judge signed and it’s finally-final.

Similarly, we worked it out ourselves without attorneys. Sat down with a bottle of booze, a notepad, and made a plan. Hired someone to put together our paperwork and file with the court.

We could agree the kids are the most important thing, and we’ve been able to (so far) keep their wellbeing a priority over many of our own feelings.

I wish I could’ve just walked away like a high school breakup, but with kids, I’ll be attached to this person through the rest of my life.

I wish you luck.

 

[GRADS]

Gelcoater's sister is they/them?

 

[jetboatperformance]

Im a bad example maybe ? , My first marriage didnt last long, Hotty Highschool cheerleader/debutant rich girl , didnt make it half way thru boot camp when I found out she was banging other guys .. Best thing ever was when I picked her up by her shirt and belt and threw her out on the front porch . Second wife "home spun country Girl She and I are lovers soulmates, best friends and just celebrated our 50th . Said it before "marriages are like Corvettes , ya need one to wreck and one to drive"

 

[rivrrts429]

I’m 4 years divorced. It was super easy, no lawyers. Just two kids but one is a legal adult.

I did the fucking around for a while and realized how fucked up dating was in your 40’s. Some crazy women out there. Did that for a year and said fuck all that. I’ll be alone and do what I want when I want.

Only part that sucked is waking up on major holidays, like Xmas, to an empty house. You get over that pretty quick to when you realize you ain’t got shit to do and no responsibility that day so you start it off with the most stiff Bloody Mary or screwdriver you’ve ever made and watch whatever the fuck you want on television with your dog laying next to you thinking your the best dog owner ever

Hang in there. The first year is wonky as fuck with you trying to figure shit out. You’ll have some dark moments but those moments are the BS you left behind leaving you, it’s good.

 

[OC Mike]

I had a half sister. He was 50!

For fucks sake with everything going on in todays world i had to read this like 10 times to understand it I thought you had a tranny 50 year old half sibling a decade later I’ll see myself out now

YUP, and your post has me laughing so hard, I'm tearing up..

 

[havasujeeper]

X3

I'm still scratching my head as if this is a calculus question!

 

[Flying_Lavey]

Thanks for the support guys. What kinda makes this worse is that I'm living at my aunt's house in Burbank and there is ZERO chance I can bring a woman here, let alone have my own space and peace. Can't afford anything on my own around here.

Could be FAR worse though.

 

[Gelcoater]

Gelcoater's sister is they/them?

You can fuck right the Fuck Off now


She has more kids than me now.


My oldest is 28, youngest is 24
My sister is 28 also, but a couple months younger than my oldest.
I feel for you in a way. You won’t experience these things.



And no bullshit here.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.
Hope the hip is feeling better .

 

[Dog]

Thanks for the support guys. What kinda makes this worse is that I'm living at my aunt's house in Burbank and there is ZERO chance I can bring a woman here, let alone have my own space and peace. Can't afford anything on my own around here.

Could be FAR worse though.

Take the time to have some "me time". Rent a room for a weekend every now and then. Either close by or far away.

 

[Joker]

I couldn't imagine the feelings. It seems though while you're married you can't wait to be alone, but once you're alone you wish you were married. While I understand not everyone is meant to be with the person they married, as people change, I can't fathom not being with the one I married 30 some years ago. I really hope the best for you and that you can find a path to happiness. I'm sure it's there, you just need to find it.

 

[HNL2LHC]

Best to you and the past Mrs Lavey. Marriage can be difficult and divorce even more. Good to hear that you were able to work it out. I am confident that you two will be doing what is best for the kids.

I'm still scratching my head as if this is a calculus question!

More like if the train leaves the station at X and you leave at Y+10 what time do you have to be home before midnight?

 

[DaytonaBabe]

Sorry to read that you're struggling with it a bit. I'm sure things will only get better from here for you!

 

[havasujeeper]

Best to you and the past Mrs Lavey. Marriage can be difficult and divorce even more. Good to hear that you were able to work it out. I am confident that you two will be doing what is best for the kids.


More like if the train leaves the station at X and you leave at Y+10 what time do you have to be home before midnight?

But is the train is on a treadmill, on a plane at 36,000 feet, does it make waves?

 

[havasujeeper]

Fl. Lavey,
Just hope you get a smile at my stupid Segway. I've been divorced for 14 years, and just found out today that my ex stole a bag of diamond rings, many belonging to my mom who died when I was 10 years old.

This shit just brought on a rage I haven't felt in the last 14 years. At this point, I need to move on cuz there isn't anything I can do but move forward. I'm happy. I got a great gal, my ex is a miserable bitch, so paybacks a true bitch!

 

[coolchange]

I don’t know, but they say a divorce is the same as a death emotionally, it needs to be mourned.

 

[Willie B]

X3

…X4…

 

[monkeyswrench]

Fl. Lavey,
Just hope you get a smile at my stupid Segway. I've been divorced for 14 years, and just found out today that my ex stole a bag of diamond rings, many belonging to my mom who died when I was 10 years old.

This shit just brought on a rage I haven't felt in the last 14 years. At this point, I need to move on cuz there isn't anything I can do but move forward. I'm happy. I got a great gal, my ex is a miserable bitch, so paybacks a true bitch!

Karma is an interesting thing. It takes turns, and it can sure as hell take it's time. It'll get around to thumpin' you when you think you're clear. Funny part is, some people don't even realize the relation when it comes back around.

 

[C-2]

Wishing you the best. You got a good head on those shoulders and no matter what happens going forward, you will land upright. Have confidence in yourself, and continue being you.

 

[Go-Fly]

I didn't like my wife when I first met her. Took three years before she wore me down and we went on a date. You never know what's around the next corner. Life should be an adventure. Sorry to hear about the divorce FL. I'm sure that wasn't in the plan.

 

[coolchange]

Now you need to get that boat fixed for summer. Something to focus on positive.

 

[Bigbore500r]

Thanks for the support guys. What kinda makes this worse is that I'm living at my aunt's house in Burbank and there is ZERO chance I can bring a woman here, let alone have my own space and peace. Can't afford anything on my own around here.

Could be FAR worse though.

Focus on moving forward, focus on career, and making the time spent with your kids quality time and memorable - they're only young once, its crazy how time flies.
The situation may suck right now, but its not forever and has nowhere to go but up. If you want to escape to the desert or river for come R&R, hit me up

 

[gqchris]

Dont jump into a woman or relationship. You dont need that right now. To be honest, its too scary to date these days with the Me Too accusations and setups.

Head down South when you need some strange. Get your post nut clarity, rinse and repeat.

Like mentioned above, you got off without lawyers, that's a WIN. Don't piss off the ex with bringing around a new chick. It will be nothing but bad. Act like you are barley making it day to day.

 

[Angler]

Just rent by the hour, they are much cheaper that way.

 

[Flying_Lavey]

Now you need to get that boat fixed for summer. Something to focus on positive.

It's on my list. I also have that notorhome I need to get back up to Naci and work on. That will be great to make more memories with the kids and rest of my family (they all have RV's as well).

 

[ChumpChange]

Thanks for the support guys. What kinda makes this worse is that I'm living at my aunt's house in Burbank and there is ZERO chance I can bring a woman here, let alone have my own space and peace. Can't afford anything on my own around here.

Could be FAR worse though.

That’s what the Escalade is for!

 

[Flying_Lavey]

That’s what the Escalade is for!

Now THAT is a classy move. lol!!