Married and finances

[napanutt]

Thanks to @CLdrinker got me wondering.

Me and my wifey have had joint account with all funds deposited to it for ever. It covers all our bills.
Kind of funny though she has always made more than me but I pay all the bills from the joint account. Wifey not very good with numbers. She’s more the artistic brain side.

 

[monkeyswrench]

My wife's smarter than me. Well, except for choices of marriage, I think she blew that one. She does all the bill paying. She uses some crystal ball, and tells me what we need to have. It hasn't always been pretty, but always hit the mark. It works for us

 

[JFMFG]

We have a joint account all money goes to that. We have our monthly budget for bills/fun money then we have our minimum amount that needs to be saved. She pays all the bills for personal life. And I handle all my bills for work. I don’t wanna do both lol.

 

[Ol Man]

We each have our own bank accounts and no joint. We have bills I pay and she her bills. Works for us. Only married for 57 years tho.

 

[paradise]

We’ve been joint accounts forever but we got married young before either of us really had anything. I think that makes it easier.

I guess I can kind of understand people in second marriages or just got together later in life keeping things separate. Still feels weird to me though lol

she pays all the bills personally and does all the business accounting.

 

[Wizard29]

A topic that many couples wrestle with.

My wife and I have separate accounts and always have. We pay our bills/expenses in common and then are free to spend our own money how we see fit. She's doesn't want to hear me bitch at her about buying too many shoes and purses. I don't want to hear her bitch at me for buying too many cars or boats or parts for either one.

We basically treat it as a business arrangement. As long as the expenses we both incur are taken care of, what's left over becomes the earner's to spend. It works.

It also incentivizes each earner to go make more money if they want to buy more/better stuff. And we do.

Of course we buy each other stuff and share to some degree, but money disputes and one having financial "power" over another doesn't exist.

 

[ChumpChange]

I don’t trust banks. I take my paycheck in cash.

 

[CLdrinker]

We have joint accounts. She handles all bills 100%. I have no idea how much money we have at any given time. It’s better that way or I would always find something to buy. This way I always assume we are broke.

We have a policy we both can take guy/girls trips whenever we want and we buy whatever we want. Soon as it’s 4 figures we give a curiosity heads up. “ hey I plan on buying xyz does that fuck up any plans you have”?

I handle the kids stock market accounts and retirement plans.

 

[monkeyswrench]

We’ve been joint accounts forever but we got married young before either of us really had anything. I think that makes it easier.

I guess I can kind of understand people in second marriages or just got together later in life keeping things separate. Still feels weird to me though lol

she pays all the bills personally and does all the business accounting.

Never thought about that, but we got married young as well. Over the years, went from basics, food, utilities and such, to lots of payables. Now we're back to the basics again. It's always been the same though.

 

[napanutt]

A topic that many couples wrestle with.

My wife and I have separate accounts and always have. We pay our bills/expenses in common and then are free to spend our own money how we see fit. She's doesn't want to hear me bitch at her about buying too many shoes and purses. I don't want to hear her bitch at me for buying too many cars or boats or parts for either one.

We basically treat it as a business arrangement. As long as the expenses we both incur are taken care of, what's left over becomes the earner's to spend. It works.

It also incentivizes each earner to go make more money if they want to buy more/better stuff. And we do.

Of course we buy each other stuff and share to some degree, but money disputes and one having financial "power" over another doesn't exist.

It is kind of hard for her to surprise me with a present when I basically check account daily.
I do give her shit for the shoe purchases. Not too much though.
She buys what she wants when she wants. She doesn’t know what I buy.

 

[monkeyswrench]

This thread just reminded me of one of Pops' sayings. When doing side work, he'd give Mom half.
Pops would tell me "I always give your mom her half...it's just usually the smaller half."

 

[Cole Trickle]

25 years together and married since 2007 and we have always had separate accounts.

Works perfect for us we both pay certain bills and she transfers me $$ for her truck payment and a portion of the mortgage.

We split up other things including travel and eating out.

She can do what she wants with her $$$ and I can do what I want. We discuss major purchases.

Just works for us.

 

[wash11]

When we got together, I had a business that was barely hanging on and she was a couple months from filing chapter 7. Together we had a few hundred dollars and somehow made ends meet. It's been one checking account and one savings account since the beginning and we've never had a fight about money. Not one.

On the flip side, my parents have successfully kept money separate for 30 years. I don't think there's a right answer.

 

[Fabhouse]

We have joint accounts. She handles all bills 100%. I have no idea how much money we have at any given time. It’s better that way or I would always find something to buy. This way I always assume we are broke.

We have a policy we both can take guy/girls trips whenever we want and we buy whatever we want. Soon as it’s 4 figures we give a curiosity heads up. “ hey I plan on buying xyz does that fuck up any plans you have”?

I handle the kids stock market accounts and retirement plans.

Same here. My wife is the controller for her company, and for the household for the last 24 years. Any major purchase is (500+) is always disclosed. Never missed a payment and the savings looks pretty good.
Our goal has been to have things paid for and so far (aside from mortgage) we have been on track. Can't imagine independent accounts only because I haven't had one in a very long time.

 

[TimeBandit]

I had a joint account with my first wife, no real problems that I can remember.

Second wife and I have everything separate, I had way too much coming into the marriage to "split" it.

That said, I make all the big purchases, like buying her a car. No complaints.

 

[cofooter]

I had a joint account with my first wife, no real problems that I can remember.

Second wife and I have everything separate, I had way too much coming into the marriage to "split" it.

That said, I make all the big purchases, like buying her a car. No complaints.

Same!! no real reason to combine accounts later in life that I can think of....... especially if both parties are managing their own obligations, mortgages, etc and all the needs and wants are taken care of between the couple. It all works out. Easier to make your own estate plan as well, and as a bonus, I don't cringe when I see all those Amazon deliveries, haha.

 

[crzy2bealive]

Wife and I have a combined account. Works well

 

[bilz]

Joint and she has an individual. Her check goes into her account and she pays the vacation/ camping stuff. I handle the joint and everything else. She works 12 hrs a week during school year. It's coming up on 35 years.

 

[Smupser]

I got married and had kids late in life. I was already well established on my own. When my wife and I got married, she quit her job and we had our kids right after and she became a stay at home mom. I set up a joint account for us, but I maintain my own account. Luckily, my wife is very understanding and I have the ability to control money a lot more than if we had only a joint account.

 

[CLdrinker]

Guess I should add this is co my second marriage. First marriage had similar setup and I paid the price big time.

This time around the other side brought the same to the table. I figured if I can’t trust her why am I hear. Do five in with both feet and it’s working great.

That being said. Guy listen to me.

If you’re not going to make babies with them do not get married. You have nothing to gain.
If you are dumb enough to get married. Prenup is mandatory.

 

[samsah33]

When we started out 21 years ago and both were working, we would each contribute X% of gross to the joint account and use that to cover bills and family expenses and funding savings/investment accounts. Personal expenses like gifts for girlfriends (don't ask for whose GFs...!) or guys trips were paid out of personal accounts.

After a while, she stopped working and now runs the household and finances. We have joint access to all accounts, and assets are titled "or" when possible. I'm admin on some office accounts with personal info like payroll, bene's, and 401(k), so she can't have passwords to those accounts, but those are the exception.

My wife and I are both financially savvy and after my longtime GF before her, I adopted the philosphy that I wouldn't marry someone who I wouldn't go into business with and I wouldn't go into biz with someone who I wouldn't marry (ignoring gender of course...). It's worked out well for us.

 

[Ct5]

I married young and started a career while my wife was raising our kids so naturally she was added to all my accounts. She never had the responsibility of paying bills or saving or investing money so I handle all of it. I’d love it if she took interest and saw the importance, but we’re fine. I don’t have a problem with her spending and I try to explain the situation. I’ve been able to do what I’ve done because of her help.

If I got married again at this point, it would be a completely different story.

 

[FireChief]

We have a joint account checking and savings. Wife handles all the bills on auto pay. She also uses Quicken that maintains a daily status of our balances to exactly know what is being paid to who and is able to verify. Anything we want over $500.00 we discuss and normally purchase. We have never had any issues as we communicate what is outstanding and do we make the purchase now or wait for a better time to make a large purchase.

 

[redone76]

We have joint accounts. She handles all bills 100%. I have no idea how much money we have at any given time. It’s better that way or I would always find something to buy. This way I always assume we are broke.

We have a policy we both can take guy/girls trips whenever we want and we buy whatever we want. Soon as it’s 4 figures we give a curiosity heads up. “ hey I plan on buying xyz does that fuck up any plans you have”?

I handle the kids stock market accounts and retirement plans.

We do the same. It's worked for 21 years. I've only pissed her off a few times when I drag home a surprise project! Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission!!!

 

[rightytighty]

We have joint accounts. She handles all bills 100%. I have no idea how much money we have at any given time. It’s better that way or I would always find something to buy. This way I always assume we are broke.

We have a policy we both can take guy/girls trips whenever we want and we buy whatever we want. Soon as it’s 4 figures we give a curiosity heads up. “ hey I plan on buying xyz does that fuck up any plans you have”?

I handle the kids stock market accounts and retirement plans.

This is exactly how we operate. Not always perfect but works well (for similar reasons to you)

Im angling to buy a utility sxs for the lake property.

She’s going to Newfoundland next week solo with her folks. She went on a European river cruise last summer with girlfriends.

That ought soften her up … lol! (I’ll pounce upon her return…)

Yeah- i know. Nothing’s perfect…

 

[DWC]

Wife was a CPA before she “retired” after our 2nd kid. She handles the daily/monthly budget. I handle the long term investment stuff.
She gives me the thumbs up/down on buying toys .

 

[dezrtracer]

Not married but , living together for 33 years . Separate accounts since the beginning . Split the house payments and cost to run them and a credit card for money we spend together . She pays the bills and tells me how much is my half each month . Boats , cars , motorcycles , shoes , cloths etc are all paid from our own accounts .

 

[satellitemike]

I've had direct deposit for the last 25 years, or I guess I should say my wife has had my direct deposit for the last 25 years!
Don't really know if we are broke or rich?

 

[bonesfab]

Had a joint account when I was married. Won’t ever do that again. Now I have shop girl who writes all the checks and I just have to sign them. Much easier.

 

[TPC]

Joint account and we pay ourselves first. 15% to savings before any thing else.

 

[farmo83]

We have joint accounts that pays bills and family stuff. We each have a
separate accounts(which are actually the accounts we had prior to marriage) that we both get an allowance each check and we can do whatever we want with it. She goes to ulta and sephora and I buy boat parts and yolo options in the stock market. As others have said it works for us.

I do 80% of the bills and all the investments.

 

[propcheck]

Wife and I have our finances set up just like the government. I make the money, she takes the money to pay for the social services for the damn freeloaders, well she says children but What’s the difference right?

 

[Javajoe]

We have joint and separate personal accounts. All money goes into joint then auto transfers an amount each week into our personal. She pays all bills thru joint. She buys what she wants. I don’t care. I tell her if we can afford it then buy it. I don’t sweat paying any bills. It’s nice. She’s retired, I still work. She cooks, cleans, launches the boat. Takes great care of me. Awesome lady. Works her ass off and still has fun. Keeps herself in great shape for me also. At 64, she’s rockin it

 

[HTTP404]

I don't have to worry about that. I'm unemployed and broke.

 

[Romans9]

I was 15 years old when I started dating my wife who was 17.

I had a savings account. My wife worked and operated off all cash. We started saving money in my account together and I added her name.
When she graduated we got a checking account together.
That was 36 years ago…..

 

[YeahYeah01]

We started a joint that both of us put money into each week for typical house bills and mortgage but over time it went back to just solo accounts. She's a nurse but when we had our first kid she took a step back at a school district with a big pay cut so I took over most things now she just now getting back to making good money but things have kinda stayed same . Before the cars were paid off we payed those separately but I payed the insurance. I have the mortgage and all house bills and private school. She pays for all groceries, health insurance and kids activities and currently her tuition since she's going for her maters. I'm realizing it's a bit lopsided as I'm writing this but I'm going to let her get all caught back up and get some cushion in her accounts before we move things around again.

 

[Socalx09]

Both accounts can be accessed with the same login. So separate technically, but either of us could look at the accounts and transfer money in/out. I handle all the bills and budget. He makes a lot more than me, but also is an impulse buyer. We do what we want within reason. If there’s a big purchase, we will run it by each other. I have multiple savings accounts that are for different things like tires, home renovations, Christmas, sand toys/water toys…

Since I can’t contribute as much as he can to savings, we both take a percentage of our paycheck and distribute that way.

 

[Spitfire]

One account here 24 years She handles all bills as I won‘t deal with all her debit transactions Or balance each month. I use cash each week for my stuff. She manages everything well. Do over would be split all common bill and each enjoy leftovers without comment but can’t take it with me so wifey knows best!

 

[Singleton]

Joint acccount, then we pay ourselves an allocation (equal amount) each month that is our own fun money

 

[DaytonaBabe]

Joint accounts and shared goals and plans for the future. It just works for us

 

[C_J_J_C]

I must say I am shocked at how many of you luck guys have wives that work.

 

[CarolynandBob]

We merged accounts when we bought our 1st house together, 1 yr before we were married. We got tired of writing checks back and forth to each other to keep it even.

When we had the talk she said I am an independent woman and have to manage the accounts. I said fine, but when I go to the atm it better give me something. For 2 years when we would go on vacation it was put on a charge card and then paid off over time. This bugged the shit out of me. We had an overdraft account with our credit union. I notice that we would get letters from the credit union when ever they had to hit the overdraft account.

I finally said why can't we live within our means? She said we do and only have the mortgage and car payments for debt, which is normal. I said what about all the interest we pay on for vacations and what is it with the overdraft notices? She says fine you do it. I waited a month said are you sure and she said yes.

That was 1999 and we haven't had an overdraft notice since.

 

[17 10 Flat]

Married young, 50 plus years now. Started with very little. Everything has always had both our names on the accounts and CC"s. Heck when we first got married couldn't get a Master Card no credit..got a Sears card and Hudsons card made some payments to get credit history.

 

[RitcheyRch]

We each have our own bank accounts and no joint. We have bills I pay and she her bills. Works for us. Only married for 57 years tho.

We both have separate savings and checking accounts but each can access or write on both accounts. I pay most of the bills but there are some she pays. Works for us after 26 years.

 

[welldigger00]

One day when we (my wife and I) were 19, she asked to see my check book. I gave it to her, and she said that I don’t need to worry about that anymore. She’s been signing my signature since 19 years old, and at one point the bank called her to inform her of possible fraud because the signature was wrong on a check. Turns out that I had written the check to someone, and the bank didnt recognize my signature! So far so good, been banging the same chick since 95’.

 

[FreeBird236]

After 50 years it's been joint accounts from the beginning except for work IRA's which can't be combined.

 

[EmpirE231]

 

[Badchoices03]

My wife has been in accounts payable her whole career, from small companies to being the AP manager at a larger sunglasses/lifestyle brand currently....so she definitely handles the money from our joint account...if it was up to me, we would have a lot of cool shit but be broke as fk lol....there are time we argue because she will say we dont have money for something....but anytime and emergency has come up we always have cash and dont have to worry about it....so I am good with it....

 

[BHC Vic]

We have a joint account but I don’t think there’s very much money in there. I have my accounts and she has hers. We each pay for certain bills and spend money the way we want. It seems to work for us. Only married 12 years but I don’t see it changing.

 

[BHC Vic]

She does have access to my accounts and can transfer money to her account whenever she needs. I used to ask what it was for but I don’t ask anymore. It’s never been for anything dumb, usually money for gifts or kids stuff.