Looks like my dad might have the covid.

[Riverbound]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

 

[Joe mama]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

Sometimes you got to suck it up. It’s tough but as you said he’s your dad.
Hope it all works out.

 

[havasujeeper]

Be there for him. You won't regret it.

 

[OldSchoolBoats]

My dad and I didn't speak for a couple years. Took him having a stroke to get back to talking. That lasted a few months and we haven't spoke in almost a year besides a couple texts here and there.

If anything happened to him, I would be there. I think it is a move you have to make as the better person and in the long run, if something did happen to him, you will be better off knowing that you were there for him.

Sent from my SM-N960U using Tapatalk

 

[SBMech]

Your friends are the family you CHOOSE.

That being said, if you do not reach out, you will probably regret it IMO. We are all tied to our parents, were they good or bad, by those attachments made early in life...

For some they are bonds. For others they are shackles.

We each have to walk that path alone, do what you feel is right, even if you regret it for reaching out and are snubbed or ridiculed/shamed you did what you felt was right.

Taking the high path is hard. IF you did what was in your heart, you can never fail.

 

[sw1]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

If you’re past the age of 40 then you know life is way too short. Get him on Hydroxychloroquine and put the past in the past. Like my woman always says you can’t choose your family.

 

[530RL]

No one has second thoughts about success, but they always question their regrets.

I truly hope your father gets better.

 

[Jed-O]

You know what the right thing to do is buddy. No regrets...

 

[JUSTWANNARACE]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

Let the past be the past and be the bigger man!! If you dont, you will regret it trust me!! Make a menze and come to truths, again trust me you will be much more at rest if something does happen and wont have the "what if's" and regrets if you dont! Ask me how I know(actually, no dont cause I dont want to dwell on the "what if") like you said HE is your DAD, you only have one and will never get him back!

Forget about the past at this point and look forward to the future, might be able to toss a fishing line in the water side by side, and crack open a beer with him!! Even if you dont talk much until that fish hits the line, it will be worth it!!

Fuk, now I need another beer!

 

[H20 Toie]

Trust me you can always disagree in person but if you wait until they are gone then it's to late,
i didn't talk to my my dad for years and showed up 20 minutes after he passed, Doesn't really matter what the issue was then or the 21 years that it has been since then.

 

[Riverbound]

Forget about the past at this point and look forward to the future, might be able to toss a fishing line in the water side by side, and crack open a beer with him!! Even if you dont talk much until that fish hits the line, it will be worth it!!

Fuk, now I need another beer!

damn...you figured the way to hit me in the gut.

 

[JUSTWANNARACE]

damn...you figured the way to hit me in the gut.

Absolutely did not mean too, but sometimes you need a push, I know I did, went many years with no contact and said I never would. Swallowed my pride when I got word he had cancer and was gonna last maybe a few months. I got the push to reach out and was told if he didnt except, to move on, and all I could do is tell myself that I tried. I took the advice and I did. He was willing to meet. I drove the 3hrs met him at the lake we used to fish when I was a kid. And we did exactly that. From that point, I met with him at least every other weekend and most of the time at our fishing spot. He stuck around a little over a year which amazed the doctors. He started to fade, he was bedriddened and hospice came 3 days before my next planned weekend. I showed up, he told me the only reason he lasted was the looking forward to the next visit, the next beer on the bank. The next day he passed. We never talked about our grudge or the reason we quit talking, as not to look back only to look forward and enjoy the time we had left. Everytime I think about it I wish I could have got those years of silence back.

Do what you feel is right bud, I'm just sharing my experience!

 

[Nordie]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

Sometimes you've got to let shit go, first and foremost I hope your dad recovers. I had a huge fallout with my dad, and it bothered me for years. We're good now, but he is still about himself. I still owe him something, because he's the one that has turned me into the hot rod type and some basic carpentry skills. He was a shitbird of a father and did the bare minimum, and I get that, but in a way he made me the man I am.

Sometimes things can bring family back together. Sure you can be defensive, but fuck it! You can recover from all of that stuff, even if you know that you tried.

I guess my point is I had to let my dad back in my life, and it's for the best, no matter what.

 

[Nordie]

When I used to be best friends with my dad

 

[AZMIDLYF]

You already knew the right thing to do when you made this post. It will go a long way towards your healing if anything else.

 

[Singleton]

Very difficult situation
However you will want closure, so best to say what is needed and make sure to say goodbye before it is too late!

Everyone in my dads family, stopped talking to my Aunt 8+ years ago. She had some health issues and I called and left a voice mail (more or less hope all is OK, etc). She was a huge influence on me in high school and college, however she did not answer or call back. It gave me peace that I at least reached out.

 

[DLow]

Meh. Had a falling out with my “dad” a few years ago. He asked I never contact him again or even show up to his funeral. I’m good with it. Actually think the word will be a better place without him. Sick fuck. Pretty sure that in my situation any contact at all with him will only cause more hurt to family and myself.

Everyone has to do what they feel is right for their situation. No one can make that choice for you.

 

[HBCraig]

RB

Don't let this opportunity slip by.

He is your Dad.

 

[LazyLavey]

Never an easy choice. sad jus the same

 

[RitcheyRch]

Sorry to hear that. Be the better man and reach out to him You will regret it if things turn for the worse.

 

[Duck'ed_Up]

Your friends are the family you CHOOSE.

That being said, if you do not reach out, you will probably regret it IMO. We are all tied to our parents, were they good or bad, by those attachments made early in life...

For some they are bonds. For others they are shackles.

We each have to walk that path alone, do what you feel is right, even if you regret it for reaching out and are snubbed or ridiculed/shamed you did what you felt was right.

Taking the high path is hard. IF you did what was in your heart, you can never fail.

This is real shit right here!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Flying_Lavey]

Bill, you act like a hard ass but we all know you're a softy and if you don't at least try to reconnect before something irreversible happens, it will tear you up inside.

Sent from my LM-G710VM using Tapatalk

 

[PRORACER7474]

View attachment 877112
When I used to be best friends with my dad

old speedrome Las Vegas?

 

[Uncle Dave]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

Go see dad.
Whatever happened, or didnt between you let to go for now and go see him.

UD

 

[Havasu blue label]

Man dude just stop in it’s pops

 

[SKIDMARC]

Hope the best for your dad.

Not sure what I would do. Never meet my dad.

But at least you can see how he’s doing and keep in touch. Don’t have to be best friends but can have some communication.

Best of luck to you and your dad.

 

[Flyinbowtie]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

Bill...

Well my friend I can only offer this.
I have probably made over 100 death notifications in my life. We had a policy, if we got a request to notify a resident of this county about a death in their family from another jurisdiction, anywhere in the country, we always sent someone. Period. We would get a teletype authorization with the particulars and the name and contact info of the person at the other agency, and we would take a deep breath, and go. We knew the family relationship, so when we rolled up we could at least provide facts and be as compassionate as possible.
I know I had a couple of times when I made the notification and got the "I don't care" or, "screw him/her" back at me, but I got a lot more of the deal where the person I was notifying started to buckle at the knees, and then tell me, "Man, I haven't talked to him in years. We had a falling out over...well it don't matter now. Damn I wish I had just called him, stayed in touch...now...now I can't...why did I let it go so long?"
Grown adults can disagree big time and people can hurt each other and screw each other over, we both know that. but...and only you can answer this...if there are words you want him to hear, or time you want to spend with him...just being there for a few minutes,...then the time might be coming. It isn't easy, but if you are thinking about it, well..it might be time.

 

[rrrr]

Your friends are the family you CHOOSE.

I cut all contact with my older brother twelve years ago, after years of him using my skills and hard work to build successful businesses. He stole huge amounts of money from me, and in one instance tore up IRS 941 forms (payroll tax deductions) and the checks to pay the taxes due for months and spent the money on drugs and whores.

In another business, after I insisted he obtain cashier's checks to pay suppliers for subcontract work we were performing for the large firm that employed my dad, he surreptitiously opened the envelopes I had prepared to mail the payments, removed the $55,000 in checks, and cashed them.

After fines and interest, I ended up with over $200K in personal liability for the 941 taxes. After nine years, I filed and improbably won a lawsuit in federal court against the IRS. I proved I didn't have control of company funds as they claimed. In the other incident, I had to borrow money to replace the stolen funds, because my dad would have lost his job and reputation if I hadn't. I personally made good the losses.

About eighteen months ago, I told my 37 year old son I no longer wanted any contact with him. Beginning from the time he was in high school, he either stole money or borrowed it with sob stories about fake illnesses or schemes that would bring in big returns "just six months from now". He wrecked vehicles, lost jobs, stole from other family members and unsuspecting girlfriends, was addicted to cocaine for three years, and did just about everything possible to continue taking money from me.

The end came when he said he needed $500 to buy tires to continue his Uber gig, and promised to pay me in four weeks when his school grant money was to be issued.

That same month, he borrowed $3,000 from his girlfriend, an extremely nice and caring person that unfortunately was talked into believing his lies, and convinced the mother of my twelve year old grandson to give him $2,300 to ostensibly purchase bedroom furniture for my grandson because he had been sleeping on a mattress on the floor during weekend and summer visits for two years.

Instead, he used some of this money to trade in his car and buy a new Kia Soul that cost $25K, and the interest rate on the loan is 18%. He also bought new furniture and some other things that are just frivolous bullshit.

When I found out about this, I sent him an email telling him to fuck off and to not bother trying to contact me. I was finally well and truly done with his antics.

I have to say the last year and a half have been very nice. I no longer have to put up with his bullshit lies and plans to perform miracles. My grandson's mom makes it easy for me to see him, and I support her financially whenever she asks, which is very seldom, because she is a RN . She's engaged to a PA, and because of the virus, right now their lives are very stressful. He works in the Dallas County Jail medical facility and she works as a charge nurse on a surgical recovery floor at a large suburban hospital. I love her like a daughter, and she is a fantastic parent.

So, yeah, if you have family members that are creating tension and a rift between you and other family members, drop the hammer on them. They don't have the right to make your life miserable, and removing them from your life is surprisingly easy. I had guilty feelings for less than a a week, and the resulting victory over their hostile and manipulative actions is a wonderful feeling that provides a glow you'll greatly appreciate.

 

[whiteworks]

Haven’t talked to him in years due to a falling out we had. Got a text from my sisters that it’s suspected he has it. Lifelong smoker, older and not in the greatest of health. Might not be good.

torn in this one. We have had no relationship the last 5 years but he’s still my dad.

Shit happens, people change and that goes both directions for better or for worse. If you have unfinished business and your just having a stand-off to see who’s gonna cave then make the move. If he’s a piece of shit and you’re done getting fucked around then you know where you stand and don’t look back.

one of my best friends growing up had a dad that was fucked, dude was leaving for work one day and took $100. Out of his wallet, put it on the table and told my buddies mom to pack her shit and that she and the kid had better be gone by the time he got home.

one summer about 5 years after that went down, my buddy said he wanted to drive up and see his dad as he invited him up to his ranch. He asked me to go with him and I did. His dad was still a dick bag, we left after a day of being there and my buddy didn’t look back.

fast forward another 15 years and the old mans second wife calls my buddy and gives him the business about his old man being unhealthy and wanting to see him and make things right. At this point my buddy has kids the old man has never met, and figured what the fuck, maybe the old dick had changed.

Nope, he’s still a mother fucker. moral of the story is my buddy sleeps very well at night knowing he’s given this cocksucker every chance in the world to do right by him, but it’s not his fault the guy is fucked.

I don’t know the situation and it’s none of my business, but like my buddy I mentioned above you’re a good dude and if you want me to drive up to the ranch with you I will

 

[rrrr]

I selfishly posted a story above that's all about myself, instead of giving support to @Riverbound as he ponders what to do in a situation which must be tearing him up.

I want to apologize for being a dickhead, and let RB know my thoughts are with him as he decides what to do. Best wishes to you, Bill.

 

[FreeBird236]

Prayers for your dad, you and the situation.

 

[coolchange]

I selfishly posted a story above that's all about myself, instead of giving support to @Riverbound as he ponders what to do in a situation which must be tearing him up.

I want to apologize for being a dickhead, and let RB know my thoughts are with him as he decides what to do. Best wishes to you, Bill.

All of these histories are good sounding boards to explore ones feelings on the situations.

 

[WYRD]

Only you can make the right call for yourself, I will just put my opinion out there contrary to the popular one here so take it with a grain of salt. Don't know what skeletons your family tree has but Being related doesn't make you family.

 

[Ragged Edge]

Be there for him. You won't regret it.

This. Bury the falling out and be there for your family.