In the dog house big time

[79 HUSTLER]

I see it like this. Will my 2 year old or 4 year old remember I was a few hours late to their birthday when they
Are 20? Probably not. But will they remember all the trips to the lake house and rides on the 100k dollar boat Dad was able to get them by working his ass off. That’s kind of where I’m at.

Let's see some pics of the new boat!!!

 

[WhatExit?]

I see it like this....rides on the 100k dollar boat Dad was able to get them by working his ass off. That’s kind of where I’m at.

No offense but your priorities may need a serious readjustment. Your kids DO CARE about how much time you spend with them (just ask any adult who says to you, "my dad never spent time with me"). Your kids DO NOT CARE how much their dad's boat cost! Maybe you'd be better off with a less expensive boat or no boat if it means spending more time with your kids.

Again, no offense. But you posted it and I'm reacting to it.

 

[JD D05]

No offense but your priorities may need a serious readjustment. Your kids DO CARE about how much time you spend with them (just ask any adult who says to you, "my dad never spent time with me"). Your kids DO NOT CARE how much their dad's boat cost! Maybe you'd be better off with a less expensive boat or no boat if it means spending more time with your kids.

Again, no offense. But you posted it and I'm reacting to it.

I agree. When i was growing up athletics dominated our time. Looking back I don't regret it but my best memories were camping and road trips to southern UT and spending time on my grandpa's ranch. I can only reflect on my experiences and all the sports did a ton for me but it isn't what I remember as the good times.

 

[Joker]

Vic, Your family is more important than a piece of Fiberglass that floats or a house at the lake. You're going to regret this later in life once the kids are gone, you know what's right

 

[milkmoney]

Vic, Your family is more important than a piece of Fiberglass that floats or a house at the lake. You're going to regret this later in life once the kids are gone, you know what's right

And real friends are important too[emoji202]

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[Joker]

And real friends are important too[emoji202]

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Still planning on Newport tomorrow morning as of now. So you're not Shea's Uncle?

 

[stephenkatsea]

Time away due to your job is really tough. Agreement and understanding between you and your wife is vital. Without that, it won't work for her, your kids or you. My wife and I came to that understanding very early on. It can and does work.

 

[Kailuaboy89]

Ive had great luck and nice rooms at the Hard rock hotel casino!

 

[wishiknew]

I have worked the last 45 years 18 hrs a day chasing riches LOL

 

[DLC]

I guess for me I need more info, I completely understand work, wife works a ton and when my jobs pop up I’m all over it nite day weekends what ever!
However
my wife and I have certain expectations that each of us need to make, if I need to be some place at 1pm and I call at say 2pm and say I’m late that doesn’t work!

But if I say hey I have a meeting at noon and I’m not sure how long it will take and I will call you as a soon as I’m out- different deal.

The bigger question is did she know your schedule? Did you talk to her about timing on your end And what did she expect from you?

Or
Did you spring this on her last minute?

Talking is one thing but really communicating and understanding both sides of the conversation where both of you are are a team is difficult to achieve.

 

[DaytonaBabe]

It's no secret that Mr.DB and I don't have kids (on purpose, btw, don't get all awkward an'chit... lol) Here's my two cents:

Be sure to take care of you wife while in Vegas - a nice hotel room, a trip to the LV store, a great dinner, a happy ending to the night... whatever it takes...

On another note... I grew up with a father that worked ALL the time. He missed a lot of things, but also somehow (looking back now, I have no idea how) made it to a lot of other things. Because of his job, we ate dinner together later than most families, we celebrated holidays differently than most families, and we understood that he was giving his all for us. Words cannot explain the love and respect that I have for my Dad. You really have no idea. He absolutely worked his ass off so my mom, my brother and I could have very privileged lives. He is amazing and there is really no way that I could possibly tell you how much he means to me, so much so that I'm in tears typing this...

My point is, sometimes you might miss some events... You won't be able to be there for every single thing. There will be times that you can't be there for your kids... As I sit here, as a grown-ass adult, I honestly cannot, specifically, tell you things that I wished my Dad was at, but he wasn't because he was working. Although I don't remember it, I'm sure there were times I was bummed my Dad couldn't be there, but none of them stuck with me.

What did stick with me, thankfully, was my Dad's work ethic and his un-ending commitment to his family. His example sticks with me every single day of my life in every facet, from my career to my marriage. Even as a kid, it was never lost on me how hard my Dad worked to make our lives great. You will have to make your own choices, but I hope that you realize that your kids will know, whole-heartedly, that you are doing it for them, and they will never forget that. We always knew, and MOST importantly, my Mom knew, how hard he was working - for US - and we all supported him. Even today, this mentality carries over to my life. My husband works more now than ever before, and it isn't going to get better for a very long time . There are a lot of times he's too busy to do this, or too tired to go out, or we can't do that because he has a meeting, etc., but I'm thankful that I was raised to recognize and support the drive in a man who wants to make things happen for his family. It sucks that it doesn't seem that you have the same support...

Seems my opinion is different from most, but figured I'd share my perspective...

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[Motoxxxloak]

I don’t have an education so a well paying office job is out of the question.

I respectfully disagree with this part. I graduated high school and that’s it. No AA (but did go to the real AA lol) no BA or masters and work for the #1 work comp carrier in the world. Not only do they pay extremely well, but are performance based as well. Best part was, they trained me. Only reason i got hired was because i had managerial skills i obtained from my prior job. We may not be the best candidates based on schooling but don’t think that always matters.


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[spectra3279]

I respectfully disagree with this part. I graduated high school and that’s it. No AA (but did go to the real AA lol) no BA or masters and work for the #1 work comp carrier in the world. Not only do they pay extremely well, but are performance based as well. Best part was, they trained me. Only reason i got hired was because i had managerial skills i obtained from my prior job. We may not be the best candidates based on schooling but don’t think that always matters.


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Same here. I'm in an job that requires a computer or electronics degree. I have a ged. And I'm the highest paid in our group.

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[Big B Hova]

If you attended every union function they had / meeting / volunteer you would be at the union hall function 6 days a week

 

[Bobby V]

If you attended every union function they had / meeting / volunteer you would be at the union hall function 6 days a week

A couple guys at my work are teachers, board members, committee members and delegates. Always at the hall doing something. I go once every 3 years during contract talks. Or my 35 year pin ceremony last month..lol

 

[Enen]

There is a podcast and IG page I recently started following called MFCEO project. This guy is the CEO of a nutritional supplement in the mid-west. His hashtag is #100to0. He talks about finding balance from work to the important things like family time. It's about strategies to transition from work mindset into family mindset. How to enjoy building a career without sacrificing the family.

You'll figure it out.

 

[Singleton]

Michelle is on board w my
Career 100% me being in bhc actually made our relationship a lot stronger. I just know I’m pushing it. To be fair I’m not missing the party today. I’m just not going to be able to help set up. Same as Eli in sept. I got there halfway through. For my birthday Tuesday Michelle and he boys surprised me and showed up w cupcakes for all the instructors and all my apprentices. Made my day. Part of why I feel so bad about the way things planned out w my schedule.

Vic
I had my wife read this thread, since I had similar issues before I made a career pivot to spend more time at home. My wife said the following “he needs to stop surprising her with last minute work BS and start surprising her with his time”. I asked WTF does that mean; her response “leave early from work one day and surprise your wife at home to help cook dinner, or surprise her and take a day off and spend that entire day with the family doing something”.
I know from experience from working away from home or long hours over an extended period of time, sometimes the little things like surprising her home early, when she does not except it helps.
The one thing my wife did read, was your statement you and your wife are on the same page, she called BS on that based on the fact your wife told you not to come home. My wife said it is time to sit down with your wife again and make sure you both have the same FAMILY goals! She said it sounds like you are busting your ass to provide a lake house, boat, dirt toys, etc and your wife is saying yes because those are things YOU WANT. She said it is time to ask your wife want she wants and make sure those are the goals you are working towards for the next few years.
I was doing similar things (working my ass off to pay off the boat, nice cars, private school for my daughter, paying for my oldest’s college education and a car for him, and saving for a Havasu house) and my wife always said yes to these things. Last summer I was about to pull the trigger on the Havasu house and my wife and I had a heart to heart. She finally said “I don’t want a Havasu house, I want a RV or Trailer so we can go camping”. She finally said, I grew up camping as a family and really want that for us with our daughter. Had to tell Paul65 I was not going to move forward on the Havasu house and purchased a ToyHauler within the next month. Until we had that heart to heart I had no idea she wanted the camping thing so much because she always supported me in those things I wanted to do.
With all that said, my last advise to you is to take your wife out to dinner without kids and ask her want she wants and listen to her answers! Don’t say anything (no statements allowed from you) just keep asking what she wants to do, how she wants to do it, etc. Don’t try to justify what you have accomplished (boat, lake house, dirt toys) as meeting her goals, find out what she wants then figure out after dinner if what you have been doing gets you to the things SHE said. My gut says she just wants you around the house more helping with the kids and not worrying about adding to the toy chest.

 

[Riverbound]

On my first marriage I was in the same boat as you. I worked my ass off and missed numerous family events as the weekends and holidays is when we made the majority of our money. My focus was the new house new cars clothes etc. by the time i realized what was happening it was too late to make changes and ultimately my marriage and my family suffered. My advice is to find the balance before it’s too late. All the stuff you’re buying for your family won’t mean a thing if you don’t have your family. My only advice to you is to sit down and have a real conversation with your wife before it’s too late. As DB posted earlier she knew her dad missed things but was building a life for his family and that was ok, I was raised the same way. But this isn’t just a you thing your wife needs to be involved in the decisions made as well.


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[Sleek-Jet]

I respectfully disagree with this part. I graduated high school and that’s it. No AA (but did go to the real AA lol) no BA or masters and work for the #1 work comp carrier in the world. Not only do they pay extremely well, but are performance based as well. Best part was, they trained me. Only reason i got hired was because i had managerial skills i obtained from my prior job. We may not be the best candidates based on schooling but don’t think that always matters.


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Same here. I'm in an job that requires a computer or electronics degree. I have a ged. And I'm the highest paid in our group.

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+3 for me.

I'm the number 2 in our division, with nothing more than trade school and an apprenticeship in the formal education column. 20+ years in the industry trumps a BS degree most any day of the week. I'm in line for the top Division job when my boss retires in several years.

Unless you work for a Fortune 500 company or the like, a college degree isn't the be-all-end-all, years of experience and increasing levels of responsibility wipe out the college requirement.

 

[4Waters]

Vic I'm curious, is this how you thought this thread would turn out. I'm not talking shit, you seem like a great person, and goal driven, all you want is to provide for your family and that is great but I gotta think that this isn't what you expected.

 

[HOOTER SLED-]

Let’s take away the boat. Lake house wasn’t free... dirt bikes the boys got weren’t free. The private school they go to isn’t cheap. Playing sports cost money. Let’s say I quit my job and go work at a warehouse. I’ll have weekends off. You think my boys and wife will be happier? Serious question. I don’t have an education so a well paying office job is out of the question.

Like I said....find a balance.....a happy middle ground.

Vic I'm curious, is this how you thought this thread would turn out. I'm not talking shit, you seem like a great person, and goal driven, all you want is to provide for your family and that is great but I gotta think that this isn't what you expected.

What are ya new?.....Vic always throws his shit out there and then gets schooled by everyone. RDP has been his big brother of sorts. He's come a long way. Our lil mijo is growing up.

 

[4Waters]

Like I said....find a balance.....a happy middle ground.

What are ya new?.....Vic always throws his shit out there and then gets schooled by everyone. RDP has been his big brother of sorts. He's come a long way. Our lil mijo is growing up.

I've read some of the old stuff and he has climbed over some big hurdles and owned his mistakes, he is a good man.

 

[spectra3279]

I've read some of the old stuff and he has climbed over some big hurdles and owned his mistakes, he is a good man.

Just don't get him started on polotics. He turns into an evil fucker then

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[BHC Vic]

Vic I'm curious, is this how you thought this thread would turn out. I'm not talking shit, you seem like a great person, and goal driven, all you want is to provide for your family and that is great but I gotta think that this isn't what you expected.

I pretty much knew this is how it would turn out. I think people are assuming my wife was more upset than she was. Like I said she does fully support me and her telling me not to come home was serious but kind of a joke. It’s the relationship we have. Don’t get me wrong she was upset, but she didn’t mean don’t come home. If she were that mad I would have rode the couch. I did however expect a few more comments like Daytona babes. Basically theays the way I was brought up and that’s where I get my work ethic... my old man. He worked for the post office for 30+ years. Made his real money by working ot. My dad had 9 brothers and sisters and grew up in a 2 bedroom home in east la. My dad is far from perfect but he made it. He worked his ass off for our family and I couldn’t be more proud of him. There’s things he missed and things that I didn’t like about his life style but what always stands out is how hard he worked for us. I guess I kind of hope that my kids see it the way I did, our the way Daytona babe did. There’s a lot of people not willing to put the work in. I’m willing to put it in but like many of you have said, not if I lose my family. At that point what’s any of it for?

 

[DrunkenSailor]

I think that you and Daytona Babe both had a mom at home who was a cheerleader for your respective Dad's. Bitter wife at home means that the kids look at Dad being gone negatively happy wife means that the wife is communicating that she is proud of you for working so hard for your family etc... Not saying that your wife is going either way and the wife's mood at any point is bound to fluctuate but I noticed my kids commenting to me about working too much and realized quickly where it was coming from. It wasn't their words but they were parroting my wife. Had to have the talk with the wife at that point that so many have suggested here. Your kids are great barometers on what is actually going on while your gone and if you keep tuned into them you can usually figure out the lay of the land.

 

[DrunkenSailor]

As to the original point of the thread the tower suites at the oriental are insanely cool. You are way above the strip and its a hell of a view and they aren't bad price wise for the smaller ones.

 

[Cray Paper]

IrocDave will be along soon to tell you to tell your wife to suck it up

Actually, I would say the opposite. Yes, you make sacrifices to advance in the construction industry, but in today's world, no one else makes those same sacrifices that were demanded of me and my piers a decade ago. Long hours, 5 days a week, some weekend work, quick hit holiday work, working on schedules from home on the weekend, answering the phone all of the day, yea, that's expected. Missing all of your kids birthdays, your wife's birthday, your anniversary etc every year? Yes, they will let you do it, but Not worth it and honestly, inst expected. Some yes, all NO. If that is what is expected your with the wrong company.

Hell, I only worked 9.5 hours today because today is my birthday. I didn't stay late to get on top of my work because I wanted to celebrate my 48th B day, but I know my kids want to celebrate it. I have a huge schedule update that's due Thursday morning and haven't been able to really start on it until this afternoon. If it's not 100%, it is what it is and I will get my ass handed to me, but I will be working late Tuesday and Wednesday nights, like 14 hour days.

 

[DWC]

Outstanding advice in this thread. Great info for young fathers and reminders for those of us older children
For my two cents.
-We meet with young managers quarterly to give career advice and share experiences. Most are hungry for the next step and few think about the price to pay. Hours, travel and stress multiply exponentially. One is bound to get you.
- The group that got in 5-10 years before ours struck “gold”. Most could retire before their 20yr anniversary. The common thread for those still around is divorce. Turns out 50% is painful. The second one is brutal to watch. (My beautiful, awesome wife promises that she’ll take the boat, my truck and golf clubs). Building the empire for the family only works if everyone is on the same page.

 

[Waterjunky]

I have ben there and done this type of thing. There was no kid at that point but was living my entire life working. I made a decision and altered my career path. Although unintentional at the time I ended up working for the state. I can make more in the private sector but I work my 40 (Ok usually more like 45-50) but am home almost every night to see the wife and play with my 2 year old. These are the important things to me at the moment.

 

[HBCraig]

I had a house for years in Vegas but sold it a while back.

When I go for business or travel, I stay at the Vdara, Aria or the Cosmo. They are all great

 

[Ziggy]

There's lots of various opinions here, none of them wrong. Vic has to take in what best applies to his family and relationship, then come to his own conclusions. Only he can decide how to handle his affairs. His maturity to even ask opinions shows the progression he's made in life to be a better person.
He's come a long way from his old FU attitude.

 

[Hallett Dave]

There's lots of various opinions here, none of them wrong. Vic has to take in what best applies to his family and relationship, then come to his own conclusions. Only he can decide how to handle his affairs. His maturity to even ask opinions shows the progression he's made in life to be a better person.
He's come a long way from his old FU attitude.

Agreed. Hang in there Vic.

 

[Hullbilly]

There's lots of various opinions here, none of them wrong. Vic has to take in what best applies to his family and relationship, then come to his own conclusions. Only he can decide how to handle his affairs. His maturity to even ask opinions shows the progression he's made in life to be a better person.
He's come a long way from his old FU attitude.

Totally agree, it’s cool to come on and seek advice/opinions from a crowd that has hoed that row already. Good to hear different stories/viewpoints and be able to make “better” informed decisions.

 

[milkmoney]

Totally agree, it’s cool to come on and seek advice/opinions from a crowd that has hoed that row already. Good to hear different stories/viewpoints and be able to make “better” informed decisions.

I guess I see it different, I would never seek advice on a public forum , wether I know the people or not.

Example, if I need a pool built, I call the pool guy , if I need my engine fixed, I call the engine guy.

My decisions in my life are based on my thoughts only. Now opinions , well everyone has one , even me lol [emoji4] [emoji202]

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[Hullbilly]

I guess I see it different, I would never seek advice on a public forum , wether I know the people or not.

Example, if I need a pool built, I call the pool guy , if I need my engine fixed, I call the engine guy.

My decisions in my life are based on my thoughts only. Now opinions , well everyone has one , even me lol [emoji4] [emoji202]

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Opinions and assholes....we all got’em!

 

[BHC Vic]

I guess I see it different, I would never seek advice on a public forum , wether I know the people or not.

Example, if I need a pool built, I call the pool guy , if I need my engine fixed, I call the engine guy.

My decisions in my life are based on my thoughts only. Now opinions , well everyone has one , even me lol [emoji4] [emoji202]

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It’s no secret I’m a little different than most

 

[Riverbound]

It’s no secret I’m a little different than most

That’s an understatement [emoji6][emoji23][emoji23]


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[Ziggy]

It’s no secret I’m a little different than most

So is ol' Milky.....and you both are proud of it

 

[milkmoney]

So is ol' Milky.....and you both are proud of it

I am glad I am different than anybody else. I wouldn't want to be like anyone else.
And I am damn proud of who I am , so you go suck a bag of dicks[emoji202]

With that comment you jus made , proved exactly what was said to me the other day

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[Ziggy]

I am glad I am different than anybody else. I wouldn't want to be like anyone else.
And I am damn proud of who I am , so you go suck a bag of dicks[emoji202]

With that comment you jus made , proved exactly what was said to me the other day

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All you just said was exactly what I said....except the bag o dicks comment.
.
The uncalled for bag of dicks comments proves again that jumping to conclusion isn't prudent.

 

[milkmoney]

All you just said was exactly what I said....except the bag o dicks comment.
.
The uncalled for bag of dicks comments proves again that jumping to conclusion isn't prudent.

Who jumped to conclusions. That is who I am , duh

Edit: if you don't like who I am or what I might say in a post , then don't bring my name up in a thread that another member started , it has no bearing other than ur self gratification

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[Ziggy]

Who jumped to conclusions. That is who I am , duh

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Exactly, and as Vic said, it's no secret. ....hense, my post about you being proud of it.
Btw...where do you get a bag of dicks?

 

[Motoxxxloak]

Exactly, and as Vic said, it's no secret. ....hense, my post about you being proud of it.
Btw...where do you get a bag of dicks?

https://dicksbymail.com


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[Ziggy]

https://dicksbymail.com


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LMAO.....
.
Too funny, I had no idea

 

[Ouderkirk]

It’s no secret I’m a little different than most

Hope you're doing OK....Life can be tough sometimes and the choices you make now can affect you for the rest of your life. Kids are resilient and they will get over things like missing parties and such. You need to be there for them, and part of that is working. If the job calls for it, you do it. You can bank those life credits for later.

Don't let your spouse tank your career by guilt-tripping you about the kids. My dad worked hard and was not always available for the small things, but when it mattered he was there for me.

 

[milkmoney]

Exactly, and as Vic said, it's no secret. ....hense, my post about you being proud of it.
Btw...where do you get a bag of dicks?

I never said I had a bag of dicks, you sure can be a keyboard cowboy, but u lack reading a post correctly. I will try one more time.
Go suck a bag of dicks

Now there is no where in that sentence, that I said I have a bag of dicks [emoji202]

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[Ziggy]

I never said I had a bag of dicks, you sure can be a keyboard cowboy, but u lack reading a post correctly. I will try one more time.
Go suck a bag of dicks

Now there is no where in that sentence, that I said I have a bag of dicks [emoji202]

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Ok dumbfuck, maybe you should go back and re-read the posts and tell me where I said you had a bag of dicks. Then tell me who has a reading comprehension problem, cuz it certainly ain't me.
.
[emoji111] out.

 

[milkmoney]

Ok dumbfuck, maybe you should go back and re-read the posts and tell me where I said you had a bag of dicks. Then tell me who has a reading comprehension problem, cuz it certainly ain't me.
.
[emoji111] out.

Oh now u want to call me names , mature post , you must be related to stainless

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[4Waters]

Oh now u want to call me names , mature post , you must be related to stainless

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You guys need to get a room. LOL

 

[milkmoney]

You guys need to get a room. LOL

Lol. No he is not my type. To damn old and grouchy [emoji4] [emoji202]

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