I had to put my mom on hospice last Thursday

[purrfecttremor]

Well here I sit going on week two and my kids have all said their goodbyes and so have my wife and I.
She apperantly had several strokes last Thursday and was rush to emergency and also ended up with a severe uti. We had her back to her private nursing home by Sunday nite with the end of life diagnosis and on hospice. Here it is Thursday evening and this apparently is going to be a slow process 😢 I'm an only child and always considered myself fortunate but it's times like this when I wish I had siblings to help with decisions. I wouldn't wish this on anyone especially my mom whom I cherish more than anyone! This is just bullshit that there's not anything else I can do except be here and keep the meds ready.
I'm so sorry to post this on this forum but for some reason I had to.

I hope you guys never have to exeriance this!! She doesn't deserve this.

 

[Kailuaboy89]

I am an only child as well, both my folks have been healthy so far but my dad is steadily going downhill and im not looking forward to having to deal with that situation or any like what you are facing right now. I am sorry to hear this. I hope you can make it through it ok. it is heart wrenching. I hope your mom will be able to rest and be at peace.

 

[RitcheyRch]

I think everyone dreads the day that we are forced to do the same.

 

[JB in so cal]

Did the same with my mom. Hang in there. Just remember she's comfortable as can be.

 

[Ziggy]

I feel ya.
When dad got his end of life diagnosis we were told a week or two max. Tough old geezer stuck it out a few months under hospice care. Pretty sure it was harder on us than him.
My regards to your family.

 

[shintoooo]

Sorry to read this. Hang in there.

 

[rmarion]

My Dad was in hospice for 10 days...... we spent every day and night with him!!!!!

BEST DECISION I EVER MADE!!!!

Good Luck!!! Thoughts and Prayers to you and your family...

 

[LuckyStrike]

Well here I sit going on week two and my kids have all said their goodbyes and so have my wife and I.
She apperantly had several strokes last Thursday and was rush to emergency and also ended up with a severe uti. We had her back to her private nursing home by Sunday nite with the end of life diagnosis and on hospice. Here it is Thursday evening and this apparently is going to be a slow process  I'm an only child and always considered myself fortunate but it's times like this when I wish I had siblings to help with decisions. I wouldn't wish this on anyone especially my mom whom I cherish more than anyone! This is just bullshit that there's not anything else I can do except be here and keep the meds ready.
I'm so sorry to post this on this forum but for some reason I had to.

I hope you guys never have to exeriance this!! She doesn't deserve this.

Sorry Ive Been thru it..Both My Mom and MIL...Both RIP...Its a Bitch ...You will get thru it:thumbsup

 

[TrollerDave]

Sorry to hear you're having to go through this.
It can be a long time of just waiting and hanging out.
There are some of us local to you. If you need anything don't be shy about asking for help. Bringing a meal, taking care of pets, etc.

 

[wishiknew]

Sorry to hear you're having to go through this.
It can be a long time of just waiting and hanging out.
There are some of us local to you. If you need anything don't be shy about asking for help. Bringing a meal, taking care of pets, etc.

X2 local

 

[charlyox]

So sorry man. Hang in there.

 

[DILLIGAF]

Sorry to hear this. Its gotta be tough for everybody. My Mom is 89 and still going strong but gets confused at times. Not looking forward to that day her physical health starts deterorating.

Hang in there.

 

[purrfecttremor]

Sorry to hear you're having to go through this.
It can be a long time of just waiting and hanging out.
There are some of us local to you. If you need anything don't be shy about asking for help. Bringing a meal, taking care of pets, etc.

Thanks for the offer but we have a really good support group. Man that's what I love about RDP and the boating community. People helping people!

 

[welldigger00]

Dang dood. I lost my mother in law last year to cancer, and I am beginning to see the end for my dad. He's starting to shut down from a soft wear standpoint in his brain. It scares the hell out of me. I'm 41 this year, and it's a punch in the gut to how fast it goes by. Hang on to your loved ones: wife/kids.... one day it'll be us. Party every day, like there's no tomorrow. Thinking good thoughts...

 

[stephenkatsea]

So sorry to hear this. If there is any thing fortunate about this it is the fact that you and your family are there for your Mom. At this time she is not by herself. Unfortunately, that is not the case for many.

 

[Sbarry]

So horrible for a person to have to go through that. Sorry for your mom's pain, and sorry for you to have to go through this as well. Hang in there bud.

 

[Dirtbag]

Stay with her...she can hear you

Let her know you love her and that its ok to go.......

Hold her hand as long as possible......

I did the same for my grandma 2 years ago.....cancer ate her up....hang in there brotha

 

[Singleton]

Thoughts are with your family.
Had to assist my mom with grandpa and hospice, and only thing I can say is it has it ups and downs.

 

[boataholic]

Im an only child as well, so I fully understand having someone to help with those tough decisions. We all know the realities behind the life cycle. I will pray for you and your family and I know God will be with you everystep of the way. You will always have those memories to cherish.

 

[jetboatperformance]

Lost My Mom last month , she would have been 90 last week (we shared a birthday) All the best !

 

[cicchetti_24]

I hate reading this stuff. So sorry man, I had to do this with my Grandma last year and it was rough. Can't imagine doing this with my mom.

 

[FreeBird236]

Sorry to hear, I hope you have as good of a hospice as I did, they made a big difference. I also had the support of my mom's brother and sister and my wife.

 

[Joe mama]

Hang in there life has its ups and downs. Thoughts and prayers to you and your mom. I have been dealing with some bad stuff with my mom and I understand what your going through.
Thanks for sharing your story it makes us all think !

 

[steamin rice]

Sorry that you have to go through this. Hang in there.

 

[Joker]

You mention being an only child and we have one only as well. My wife tells our kid we got perfection the first time so there was no need to try again. Probably the same thing your mom was thinking. It sounds like you are extremely close to her and you most likely were there for her whenever she needed you because that's what sons do for their moms. Your mom will always be with you in spirit. It's a tough road but it will get better over time. Will say a prayer for you guys.

 

[spectracular]

Sorry to hear. Best wishes

 

[BasilHayden]

We said goodbye to my Mother in Law the same way last week. Though very hard on the family in the end all knew that living the way she was was no longer living. I wish your family the same peace that ours finally found.

 

[LHC Kirby]

That's a tough time, lost my MNL last December. I have 9 brothers and sisters.... Mom and Dad are okay... Mid 80's but i dreed the day

 

[Rickybobby]

It actually sound kinda of crazy but having a place like this to sort of unload shit like this amongst a group of people who understand is all good.... I lost my olman a few years ago and I do not look forward to the eventual with my mom. Positive thoughts your way and that her pain is brief. It sounds like you done good, hopefully your kids were watching how well you took care of business and were taking mental notes. Raise a glass to Mom.
rb

 

[AFTERSHOCK RACING+]

Sorry this is very Sad to hear I hope your Mom makes it

 

[Bigbore500r]

It's tough to read this, I lost my dad in his sleep and never got to say goodbye. But I also didn't have to say goodbye....totally opposite scenario. What your doing is tougher but I think you'll get closure and it's a good thing that your there for your mom. Best wishes and thoughts for you guys

 

[530RL]

Grandparents, Parents, Brothers, Sisters, Children.

There is no easy loss. May peace be with you.

 

[DaytonaBabe]

So sorry 😔 I dread facing this in the future. Hang in there. We're here when you need to vent...

 

[purrfecttremor]

Thank you all for the positive thoughts and prayers. I'm so great full for this forum for the positive feedback and prayers.
As for my mom more of the same this morning. She is so very strong!
Again thanks for your support!

 

[Willie B]

... My mom made it to 97...took care of her for the last four years of her life...fortunately she didn't have to go into hospice
her last night she babbleded to me for two hours...I could tell that she was speaking from her subconscious so I thought to myself I'll see if anyone is still in there and I made up some pre-posturous story...in the middle of her babbling she opens her mouth after the crap Story I told her and she says is
that true???the point here is your mom may be able to hear you, so talk to her, might ease her journey out???...

 

[Hermosa]

... My mom made it to 97...took care of her for the last four years of her life...fortunately she didn't have to go into hospice
her last night she babbleded to me for two hours...I could tell that she was speaking from her subconscious so I thought to myself I'll see if anyone is still in there and I made up some pre-posturous story...in the middle of her babbling she opens her mouth after the crap Story I told her and she says is
that true???the point here is your mom may be able to hear you, so talk to her, might ease her journey out???...

I agree with that, just start talking to her and recounting the past, vacations and holidays. I did this with my Dad, and would get smiles from him. He understood and heard everything. Sorry for your family, it's a tough time.

 

[SoCalDave]

Lost my MIL a couple of years ago to a brain stem stroke and hospice was the greatest.
Hang in there for your family...life is short.

 

[Warlock1]

I lost my oldest brother yeas ago and he had to be put into hospice. Stayed with him for a couple of days. I told him we were leaving because we had to get back to Phoenix. My sister called me about 45 minutes later and told me he had passed. Simply gut wrenching.

Sorry for what you are working through right now. It's tough. Feel free to vent to us when you need to.

 

[purrfecttremor]

Another tough nite.

 

[purrfecttremor]

And another tough nite😢

 

[E4L]

Sorry to hear what your going through. None of this is ever easy I hope I go in my sleep so my kids don't have to go through what you are. My wife is now a only child so this is something I will see hopefully not anytime soon.

 

[Zack @ Bling Sauce]

Hospice nurses and caregivers are special people. They make the best of difficult situations and are typically very liberal with pain meds. As patients rally it can be a rollercoaster for the survivors but know that the sole mission is patient comfort. Best wishes to your family.

-Zack

 

[Ziggy]

And another tough nite😢

Hang in there. The one benefit we felt having my dad in hospice is that we knew what was coming and it allowed us to grieve before his passing, so when he did finally move on it wasn't as traumatic to the family.
During the days leading to that we were there alot, just talking to him, playing um-pa-pa music via pandora to him (that got the biggest smile) and just letting him know its ok to let go. Then a big heartbreak for us when he asked how to do that (let go). Here we all are telling him it's ok to let go and none of us had an answer for that.[emoji20] [emoji22]

 

[spectracular]

Try to carve out a little time for yourself in all this...I think you know that the community is here for you night and day.

 

[purrfecttremor]

Another difficult night! 👎Thank you for all the prayers

 

[Sbarry]

There's no words. So sorry!

 

[RIVERDAZE]

Sorry to read this Bill,
Sending prayers your families way! Unfortunately this is dreaded part of the life cycle. I know its hard to let go of a loved one! but make sure to tell them its ok to go! you'll be ok.

When my grandmother was her death bed in hospice she was holding on clinging to life, I know what she was hold on for, it was for her first great grandchild and my first daughter who's due date was only days away. She was there in mind but her body was failing. We went to see her one Sunday afternoon with my super pregnant wife and we took turns holding her hand and saying our goodbyes. I made sure that I told her is was OK to go, go home to Achilles, her husband who had past over 20 years ago. At that moment, she clinched my hand, opened her eye's and sighed her last breath. Honestly scared the heck out of me. I knew she was gone and no longer in pain, the look of peace on her face.

 

[purrfecttremor]

Sorry to read this Bill,
Sending prayers your families way! Unfortunately this is dreaded part of the life cycle. I know its hard to let go of a loved one! but make sure to tell them its ok to go! you'll be ok.

When my grandmother was her death bed in hospice she was holding on clinging to life, I know what she was hold on for, it was for her first great grandchild and my first daughter who's due date was only days away. She was there in mind but her body was failing. We went to see her one Sunday afternoon with my super pregnant wife and we took turns holding her hand and saying our goodbyes. I made sure that I told her is was OK to go, go home to Achilles, her husband who had past over 20 years ago. At that moment, she clinched my hand, opened her eye's and sighed her last breath. Honestly scared the heck out of me. I knew she was gone and no longer in pain, the look of peace on her face.

Thanks Karl, I love sharing these stories with my family as it give us hope that she's hearing us and hopefully helps her to move on in peace.

 

[purrfecttremor]

Another long night!

 

[River Lynchmob]

Really sorry to hear this. You did the right thing posting on here. This place is great for times like this. a lot of great people on here and a lot have been through everything that you can think of and are great to lean on for advice and just to listen.

Wishing you and yours peace in this trying time.