How’s it going for you compared to parents at same age?

[RVR SWPR]

When parents your age today how are you doing compared to their lifestyle and progress at same age considering much different times entirely?

 

[TimeBandit]

I'm 6 years older than my mom was when she passed away at 58.

Being an overweight smoker means guaranteed heart attack, it's just a matter of time.

She was a great mom and missed by all.

Dad lived into his eighties until he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't walk could barely see out of one eye couldn't hear anything... Nitrogen.

Financially I win. But I would trade it all for 20 more years with mom around.

 

[ahavasu]

Mom died at 50 after having bought her first house ever two years earlier. My dad, who I saw maybe 10 times my entire life, lived to be 75 and died alone in a one-bedroom apartment in some small town in Texas. When he was my age (56), he was living in a single-wide trailer in San Bernardino with his lovely fat ass wife Sandy and completely miserable. At this point in the game, I would say I am winning. I am in much better health than both of them combined, owned my first house at 21 (multiple since), and am living comfortably in a beautiful home with a gorgeous wife, three kids, a dog, and two grandchildren, all of which adore me. I feel pretty damn blessed.

 

[69hondo]

My wife and I are definitely in a better position now in our mid 40s than both our parents were then.
I was a jackass in my 20s and just wanted to have a good time so I would say we were in worse shape during those years.

 

[DrunkenSailor]

My dad was balling at my age was CEO of an international manufacturing company, nice cars, boat, two houses, plus a lot that he planned to build on in palm springs. And in the common trope of money doesn't buy happiness he was absolutely miserable.

I may not have all the stuff that he did but I have a wife who loves me two kids who I am incredibly involved with. I think I'm doing ten times better than he was. The number one lesson I learned from my dad was somethings are not worth the cost. Maybe one day the riches will come but I made the decision long ago that I wouldn't sacrifice my family to get them.

 

[warpt71]

Education and career wise, Id say I have done better than my dad did by the time he was my age.

Family wise, were pretty close to the same, I think my divorce happened earlier than his did buy not by much. My dad was able to rebuild his life and retire and remarry so I guess there is hope for me yet.

The last 4 years have taught me a TON!!!!!!!!!!! and Im still learning, sometimes the hard way lol

 

[monkeyswrench]

Financially, better than my parents in some ways...I have no debt to speak of. They had "retirements", but didn't see much of that at all. Their oldest was a girl, as is mine. Theirs was knocked up at 18, 3rd kid by 22. Mine is 21, just graduated college. In that respect, I'm doing "better".

I don't know really. My parents were happy most the time, except when stuff occasionally went south (health causing financial issues, grandkids the same) I think that's what it comes down to. Not if I'm doing as "good" as them, am I as happy as they were? Honestly, growing up, the best times were with the least money. The 20yo C10 that towed the kettle for work, also went to the mountains and the lake with the family.

 

[Orange Juice]

I did slightly better than my parents financially, when they were of working age.
Both saw an 84th birthday over their lifetime.

Dad had a 1967 Cessna 182, until he was 80. I had a 1978 Cessna 172 until I built my Van’s RV-7A aircraft.
Dad had a lake house, I bought a summer cabin in the mountians

Other than replacing daily transportation, I haven't been interested in any major purchases for 10 years. My focus has been remodeling the house, and much of that has been done between 2013 and today.

 

[BHC Vic]

I’m in my late 30’s and wife early 40’s. It’s hard to say. Spending habits are very different that’s for sure

 

[JL95]

Both ahead and behind, long term way behind lmao. Also doing exactly what I said I would never do in terms of financial mistakes I witnessed growing up Easy to talk shit as a teenager I suppose.

I should add that I am not a salesman like my father, apples to oranges. Definitely not as good of a person as him. If he was more of an asshole and not so loyal he would have for sure made it big.

 

[C-Ya]

By the time my Dad was my age…….. He had already been severely handicapped from a stroke, 14 years earlier. His left arm did not work at all. His left leg could barely walk after years of rehab. And since half his face was paralyzed……. It was very difficult to understand him. Brings me too tears everytime I think about my Dad and his eventual fate.

 

[Sportin' Wood]

This would have been during the boom of the early 2000s

Mom was on her 4th marriage, she worked in Real Estate her whole life. 2007 wiped her out.
Dad was working for Hardin Marine, I think he managed the Arrowhead Marina at this time or Pacific Trailer, not sure which he would have been doing at my current age. He had a pretty major heart attack about the same time.

Both my parents placed good times above building any kind of wealth. Late Years Boomers, they where both the babies of the family and pretty much fuckups. Neither has a pot worth pissing in today and both live in trailers.

I come from a long line of losers.

 

[BoatCop]

I retired @ age 60. It was when my Military (Reserve, E-8 over 28) Retirement benefits kicked in, and was well set with the State Public Safety Retirement plan. Wife (same age as I) retired a few years later. She was a GS12 w/ the Indian Health Service. She was only with them for 13-14 years, so didn't get the "full" (20 year) retirement from the Gov, but she was topped out with contributions to the Govt TSP. Between those, plus Social Security, we are now making more at age 69 (70 in a few months) than we were, while working at age 60.

My Mom owned an Office Supply store, here in Parker, that was given to her by my Grandmother, after my Grandfather passed away in 1981. He started Northern Stationers in Marquette, Michigan in the 1930s, then moved to Los Angeles in the early '50s, and after owning a motel on Sunset Bl, and a large apartment facility in Culver City, acquired Beverly Hills Office Supply on Robertson. He eventually had 4 different Office Supply Stores; the one in BH, plus Parker, one in Lake Arrowhead and one in Blythe. He passed in 1981, from a stroke at age 75, and my Grandmother passed at 91. My Uncle got the BH and Arrowhead stores and Mom got the Parker & Blythe stores. Neither one of them could see the writing on the walls and pushed on, concerned, but essentially ignoring the up and comers Office Depot and Staples, not to mention the mail order Viking, Quill, and Reliable. When Amazon & Walmart jumped in, it was the death knell. Needless to say, trying to keep prices affordable led to all 4 of the businesses folding.

While Mom had invested in a decent retirement fund (T Rowe Price Mutuals) set up for herself and her husband, plus owned a nice pool home here in Parker, over the last 10-15 years of the businesses, she eventually cashed in 100% of the retirement fund, plus mortgaged and max-HELOCed her home just to keep the store afloat. When she could no longer keep the store, they actually operated the business out of their home (built in commercial zoning), finally losing the house. By the time the last domino fell, the retirement was gone, the house was lost, and they ended up in a travel trailer. Her husband died in 2018 (at age 88, she was 84), and all she had to live on was his SS, while trying to STILL keep some sort of business going, taking orders for business cards, special order print cartridges, copying jobs, etc. We (me, my brother and my sister) did what we could to help out, but a few years ago she had a medical emergency, and was relagated to senior/assisted living/memory care. She just passed last October @ age 90. Now, Mom was always a workaholic, I think it was to "impress" her Dad on how good of a business-person she was. But he had "retired" when he was under 70 and, during the time he still "owned" the businesses, had passed the management reigns. I know he was turning over in his grave, watching what his kids did to his businesses.

I only give the family history, to illustrate what I DID NOT EVER want to do to myself or my wife. Both Mom and Step-Dad literally worked themselves into the grave. I saw them still woking their asses off in their 70s and 80s, and vowed that I would NEVER put myself in that position. I remember coming home from overseas and other places I was stationed with the CG, bringing their only grandkids (at the time) to see them. While we usually stayed a week to 2 weeks, she would be at the store until 10-11 o'clock every night, and never really saw the kids or us. Kathy and I planned our departure from the working life, to be able to do so at a young enough age to know and enjoy our grandkids and freedom. So far, so good.

Those of you familiar with California retirement systems know that retired Govt/Public Safety workers there, often retire at 100-150% of their base salary, due to the generous (and unsustainable) CALPERS plans. Here in AZ, for a 20 year retiree, it's only 50% (max 80% w/ 30 years) and pension spiking (overtime, special pay, special assignments, etc) isn't allowed, nor counted toward pension amount. While I retired as a Lieutenant, my final salary was under $75K (compared to 6 figures for a LT at most CA Agencies). Arizona Officers, unless they are Chiefs of Police or other high up admin staff at big agencies, rarely make over $100K a year. Even the elected Sheriffs Salary here in AZ is $100,824 annually. (increased to $120,824 just this past Jan 1). I put this in to show that not all LE or Fire retirees get the same inflated compensation & retirement packages that California doles out.

 

[sonicss31]

I guess I’m better off in many ways. My dad passed when I was 17, he was only 54. Pancreatic cancer took him too soon. My mom passed at 69 from lung cancer. She managed ok after dad died but it wasn’t easy. I’m 68 now and retired in the Keys and both my kids are doing well.

 

[rrrr]

I'm 67. We're better off financially. Physically I'm tracking my Mom. She too had severe arthritic and orthopedic issues. In 2011, a couple of weeks before her 75th birthday, she announced she had gone as far as she could, and stopped eating. She died about ten days later, God has embraced her into His arms, and she is pain free now. I dunno how my coming years will play out, but I hope I can face them with even a fraction of the strength and determination she possessed.

Dad is 90, and he'll be going on to his reward in the near future. His cognitive function is slipping away.

 

[CLdrinker]

I was 15 when my dad was 45. He had boats, motor homes and hot rods.

We were fuckin ballin out. Or so I thought as a 15yr old punk kid.

Turns out my parents were broke as fuck but had enough each week to pay for the cool shit. They retired on a small inheritance, tiny grocery union $900 month income and social security.

We are on track to be close to 3M in retirement funds and we could pay off our house right now if we wanted to.
We haven’t had as cool as shit but we have done pretty good on toys and traveled way more.

 

[monkeyswrench]

I'm 67. We're better off financially. Physically I'm tracking my Mom. She too had severe arthritic and orthopedic issues. In 2011, a couple of weeks before her 75th birthday, she announced she had gone as far as she could, and stopped eating. She died about ten days later, God has embraced her into His arms, and she is pain free now. I dunno how my coming years will play out, but I hope I can face them with even a fraction of the strength and determination she possessed.

Dad is 90, and he'll be going on to his reward in the near future. His cognitive function is slipping away.

Mom had me and brother sit down in the hospital room, and asked us if it was OK if she stopped trying to fight the cancer...

3 days later I was at Don Zig's picking up a magneto, and got the call. I figure she needed to go, and keep Pops out of trouble up there.

 

[DWC]

Ahead in the stuff/toys category. Way behind in quality of life. My dad did 30+ years as a teamster mostly for Miller brewery. When he was off work, he was off work. Had something like 10 weeks of vacation a year, smoked a couple joints a day when he got home, 15 min beer breaks every hour when he was at work. Overall, they win.

 

[H20 Toie]

My Dad and his 3 brothers never made it to 65 so i'm doing better than them i'm 66

 

[old rigger]

I'll be 69 next month, dad passed when he was 63, miss him every fucking day. His death really threw a monkey wrench in the mix for me because for many generations the men on his side of my family all lived to at least 91. I take much better care of myself than anyone in my family did although I'm convinced dad died of a broken heart. Heart attack got him but it was his divorce from mom that sent him towards the end.
Mom passed at 72, healthy body but Alzheimers got her. Brutal to see that happen. Of course I worry about that too and I told my wife that if I get that bad she's got my permission to take a long phillips head screwdriver and ram it in my ear, put me down. I do not want to be a burden to her or our kids.

Only problem is now if I misplace my keys or something like that, she's headed to my roll a way looking for that screwdriver and I sleep with one eye open that night.

 

[Sleek-Jet]

Well, I'm still married... My mom and dad had been divorced for over a decade by the time they are the age I am now. In fact I've been married longer than they ever were.

Financially I have no idea, dad never shared his finances with me but I know I'm probably better off than my mom was at this age.

 

[HBCraig]

I am 54. My Dad owned his own business that did well. Not a pure baller but he has a few million in the bank now. Retired when he was 60

I don't have a dcb with twins, or multiple houses. But, the wife and both kids have nice cars (for them) and live a good life. I would have a lot more if both weren't in college playing sports. I don't make them work and I pay for everything as I told them their job is to be good students. Both have a 4.0 and excel in their respective sports.
Wife and I travel from now until the end of May watching play every Friday to Sunday. That's where the money goes. I don't regret a bit of it
Sure, I can see them on TV but it's not the same thing

 

[Rondog4405]

One word. Shitty!

 

[YeahYeah01]

Inflation is a bitch lol. But the main difference for us is two good incomes vs just my dad's at that time. We're definitely in a better marriage then they had, long divorced now. We didn't want for much growing up, nothing crazy though. With my wife and we're pretty set up with retirement funds growing and plenty of play money. Life is good.

 

[Singleton]

I made the decision 10 years ago to stop chasing a title and salary.
Decided seeing my kids grow up, attend their sporting events was more important.

Based on that, I am more successful than my dad.

My dad worked a ton, never saw me play high school basketball or the other sports I played.

 

[attitude]

Money wise I’d say equal, maybe a little less than my dad, he had a few toys but was still renting. I still rent but my fiancée stays at home, we have some money in the bank but last year hit us hard, we should be back on track to buy a house in another year or two.

At 29 both of my parents were divorced or in the process of a divorce and both had a kid.

I am in a 9 year relationship with two happy kiddos, in that sense I am way ahead of my parents. My parents divorced when I was 2-3. I always wanted a sibling close in age, but my siblings are 9 years apart. Watching my two boys play everyday gives me more joy than you could imagine.

I’d choose the position I am at 29 over either of my parents, I am damn lucky.

 

[DILLIGAF]

Made more money then pops. But I only had one kid and we had 11 kids growing up. We didnt have much left over and couldnt afford to go out for dinners. Mom was a volunteer in the community and stay at home Mom, made a lot of our clothes, etc. i think I was in the 5th grade before I even had a McDonalds hamburger. At least that is my fist memory of having one.

We had a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes.

My pops somehow managed to do all of this on his military pay. He started his career in the military at 16 and became a CW4 in the Army. Have no idea how but they did it.

He was an orphan and provided for all of us and that to me is all that is important.

In many ways my "selfish" life has been better but I could not have done what he did. Better is relative anyhow....you know that don't you?

RIP Mom and Dad. You are thought of often.

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

Better educated, way more money and earnings potential, healthier, more active, travel more, live in a better area, etc…. They did their job well.

I have no kids and don’t want any. That could be a positive or negative depending on your point of view.

 

[Boatymcboatface]

My dad is a professor at a medical university making good money and still loves working part time making way more than I do. Oh and he’s 83 and probably in better health! He could’ve retired years ago but is having to much fun!

Thanks for rubbing it in!!!

 

[Your ad here]

I'd say about the same. At 35 they were able to take care of themselves and are happy. As far as lifestyle they had more but that is/was their lifestyle. I'm living mine, no need to compare.

 

[riverroyal]

Health wise about the same.
Financially we do better than my parents did at 55. But they were able to retire younger than I will. Which sounds backwards. But it's that much more expensive to live now.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Watching my two boys play everyday gives me more joy than you could imagine.

All that glitters isn't gold. About your age, was broken physically. 6 or 7 years later, financially and mentally. Spent a few years on that greener side of the fence...not far, but making what was decent. Spent some time after counting change for gas money, selling what I had to make sure there was food for the kids. Perspective is a truly wonderful thing. You are truly very lucky, to have the views you have. Both on chasing paper, as well as the view coming in the front door.

 

[C-Ya]

Earlier in this thread I mentioned my Dad.

Before his stroke…….. He was a TRUE RDP member. In 1965 he buys a waterfront lease home in Badenochs subdivision. In the winter he is desert racing on his dirt bike. In the summer he is a complete bachelor, partying it up at the river. Throughout the 60’s and early 70’s he is buying ski boats, flat bottoms, every Honda mini bike in the catalog, dirt bikes, custom vans, and whatever whim of a toy he decided he needed next. My Dads river house was pimpin! What a set up. I couldn’t be more thankful, for what those toys did for me.

Now my Mom…….. She was a model. She is still alive, living in Oceanside. My Mom was 5’10” 120lb in 1959, when she started her modeling career on the Jack LaLaine TV Show. She also did print and other modeling related jobs. I can’t believe I have the guts to type what I am about to type, but it’s the truth. lol. I had a HOT Mom. Most men when I was growing up couldn’t help but overtly stare at her oversized natural boobs. She had a real WOW factor. Junior High and High School have some really funny stories about students and teachers enamored with her chest. A distraction that never disappointed. lol. I can easily see why my Dad had to get a piece of that! Of course their relationship only lasted long enough to have 2 kids.

My mom was able to parley those looks into never having to actually get a real job. She married very well 5 times. I owe my yachting background to my mom, not my dad. Dad had ski boats. Mom had yachts. Because of her, I grew up at the San Diego Yacht Club. (Actually we lived hillside in Point Loma. What a view)

Both my Dad and Mom had impacts on my life, but in completely opposite ways. The one thing that they made loud and clear throughout my life, was their shared hatred for each other. Imagine going your entire life and never hearing one nice statement from one parent about the other. It was awful.

A funny memory about my Dad that you guys might find amusing.

In the 1st grade, I lived right on the strand in Hermosa Beach with my mom. My dad comes for a visitation, and decides to ride his brand new Enduro motorcycle on the sand of the beach, up to our house. When the police come, my dad ends up being chased by police and lifeguard trucks. My last memory is watching him heading North, heading for Manhattan Beach, on the sand. With multiple vehicle chasing him. Oh what a role model!

On another visitation……… he got into a fist fight with my step dad.

He missed a visitation because he got into a high speed chase with his Porsche. He was actually quite proud of this accomplishment. He actually didn’t get caught, but he was discovered by police when his brakes caught on fire, while waiting for a red light in El Segundo. The chase began in Inglewood.

My Dad loved the internal combustion engine! He drove just about everything like he stole it. However, my mom broke every traffic law too! I learned the proper use of the middle finger from her. lol

I hope you guys enjoyed the confessional. It’s the very first time on RDP that I have said anything about mom. lol

 

[jet496]

My mom died at 44 when I was 19. My dad retired from a factory job in early 50's and pinched pennies to this day at 94 (healthy as hell). I plan on working for a long time because I like it & I turn 64 this month. Keeps me active & engaged in life. Everyone's different on the retirement thing. It scares me though.

Unfortunately my wife just passed away 6 months ago so life is all about changes right now. One sons a neuro surgeon & the other runs my business pretty much. Proud of the boys, but still in grieving. All good though financially & health (knock on wood).

 

[clarence]

My parents had a loving marriage and four children (eight grandchildren).

I'm single.

Couldn't have been better role models, but having a family was just not for me.

Very different lives in that respect.

 

[Kenboat]

I am doing better financially then my parents , and my wife is great and we are happy together. Parents always sniped at each other and dad died in 2016 at 84.
Mom isolated herself and refuses to get out and live. She could not live with him , ot live without him.

 

[JL95]

@C-Ya the old fart I work with has stories growing up knowing/training with Jack Lalaine lol

 

[Riverbound]

Mom retired at 52. Has always been my goal to beat her and retire at 51. We will see how that pans out over the next 4 years with Trunp in office. Hopefully things work out. My mom lost her parents at 25 and inherited a business that she sold to her mentor and ultimately purchased back from him. Is rather have my mom than in inheritance.

I think I’m dong well don’t have all the stuff my parents had and have even less time but I’m pushing for my goal Of retirement at 51 and with a little luck I’ll hit it. If not I still have built myself a decent life and have no complaints.

 

[Bear Down]

I'm first generation Mexican and Parents were born in '36/'37 and immigrated to US in the mid 50s. At my current age, they had 7 Kids, had a mortgage on 1 home and were in the process of purchasing a 2nd home. Mom worked 6 months out of the year at seasonal Job and my dad always had two jobs, 1 job for 36 years and the other for 30 years. Parents didn't have more than a 6th grade education but could make a $1 stretch into a $100 like you wouldn't believe, they had perfect credit and owed very little if anything, and it was only to Mervins or Gemco. Never took vacations or weekend trips to anywhere, it was either working on the house on off time, or working with Dad. To Compare, I make really good income with some college in Sales, I am on a second marriage with a BK back in 2014 but it's all cleaned up with near perfect credit now. I have a stay at home wife with 3 kids and no real debt except a car payment and a home we purchased 6 years ago. My kids live a really good life, different than what both wife and I did, that's our priority, so in that, we are winning, and they are really good human beings. I've had more surgeries in the past 2 years than my dad had in his first 75 years. So, at this age, it might be a wash overall, but I thinking I am having way more sex than my dad did at 49 since he worked 2 jobs, so I might be a little ahead.