Dementia or Alzheimer's

[bilz]

To everyone going through this with parents or loved ones, please remember to take care of yourself. My mom was so grateful when some one could take my dad or sit with him so she could get a shower in without worrying about what he may do next.
Prayers to all in these types of situations.
Do not have second thoughts should the time come to have the care be in a resident facility. Sometimes our best won't be enough.

 

[whiteworks]

… I hear you loud and clear… Something did happen last year when I ended up in the hospital for two months fortunately,@NEIGHBOR GIRL was on top of everything… She knows my program top to bottom… The little episode with forgetting about the roofing contractor coming… Sparked me to get on the phone and call Beacon Roofing supplies… To price out all the materials… As I knew materials had gone up substantially in price since the Covid… Had a great talk with their general manager keith…Man, we had some laughs a really good guy… I felt like my old self… Now how to keep myself in the old me…state of mind…
@NEIGHBOR GIRLS grandma had been a caregiver for Mrs Hanna of Hanna Barberra cartoons… But grandma will be 82 very soon… And I don’t think would be able to be my caregiver in the future… Take a whatever you call that kind of loan out of my house and move a caregiver in is probably the way it will have to happen

Let me tell you about an amazing lady I knew when I was younger. When I met Kathleen she was in her late 70’s and had been living at a very nice retirement community since her early 60’s. The place had these cottages on the outskirts, totally independent living situation. If she needed any work around the house down there were people on staff and near by, feeling under the weather, make a call and food would be delivered, or care given at what ever level. She had a little garage and still drive her self also, there was a dining hall where she could have dinner with other residents or have friends over for dinner. She had no children and her husband had passed before I met her. As she slowed down and got older she decided to move from the cottage into the main building, had this really nice suite with all her furniture and art on the walls. As she got older and needed more care she moved into the nursing ward of the facility and lived there until she passed in her late 90’s. She got out in front of aging well ahead of time and put her plans in place exactly how she wanted, she was not a burden on anyone.

That’s the way I’m going to handle my own situation, downsize at the right times and have my affairs in order.

I don’t think most people take the time to do that and they end up at the mercy of whoever or whatever is around to pick up the pieces.

 

[Willie B]

Let me tell you about an amazing lady I knew when I was younger. When I met Kathleen she was in her late 70’s and had been living at a very nice retirement community since her early 60’s. The place had these cottages on the outskirts, totally independent living situation. If she needed any work around the house down there were people on staff and near by, feeling under the weather, make a call and food would be delivered, or care given at what ever level. She had a little garage and still drive her self also, there was a dining hall where she could have dinner with other residents or have friends over for dinner. She had no children and her husband had passed before I met her. As she slowed down and got older she decided to move from the cottage into the main building, had this really nice suite with all her furniture and art on the walls. As she got older and needed more care she moved into the nursing ward of the facility and lived there until she passed in her late 90’s. She got out in front of aging well ahead of time and put her plans in place exactly how she wanted, she was not a burden on anyone.

That’s the way I’m going to handle my own situation, downsize at the right times and have my affairs in order.

I don’t think most people take the time to do that and they end up at the mercy of whoever or whatever is around to pick up the pieces.

… I may be able to stay in my home till the end… If that doesn’t seem like a good idea… @NEIGHBOR GIRLwill certainly let me know… As it is now, I have professional cleaners come in every so often, and do a deep clean on my house…
…I’ve already spent time in a care facility…
… Just got a text from Neighbor girl..,apparently we are going to the Vallarta market by the Burbank airport… that has just been remodeled… Kind of like going to an amusement park …the place is unbelievable… I think I better run all this caregiver stuff by her while I’m driving her and her 4 month old to the market

… Pretty much all that we managed to do was a bunch of shopping and wander around this beautiful market… quite a few shoppers wanted to take a good look at her four month old…We did manage to get in the checkout line of …it turns out this lady is from Argentina and is really beautiful… And very friendly…hmmm..,
… When the conversation got to, what do you think when the time comes about a care facility… The only thing she said was… Why…
… Yeah, I got so wrapped up in talking to the beautiful cashier who is probably in her mid 50s…That I managed to forget my carved cane/walking stick… Oh well… I just ordered another one???…

 

[Maw]

I don't know if anybody else saw this article a few days ago, but it and another few dozen I dug up on the same subject sound promising:

https://scitechdaily.com/natural-remedy-reverses-alzheimers-symptoms-in-new-study/

I've ordered a 4lb bag from a nursery on the east coast. We recently spent 10 days with my 90 year old in-laws on a Caribbean cruise, their last one, and they fought the suggestion of going into a much needed memory-care facility. Although it's only been tested on mice so far I figured I'd buy a bag now and wait for more definitive tests to be run - or take some myself and see what gives.

 

[Justfishing]

Well a little over 2 yrs ago my nephew (son of my brother that has cirrhosis that he and I saved) and I started to worry about my moms memory. Some more back story is that he is very close to them as they had to help raise him. He also goes to their place for a month or 2 each winter.

She has had medical problems for years and it frustrated me that they were not proactive with their care. It seamed like they would just take what the Dr. said or their staff. So we tried to talk to them about her memory. They seam to get upset with us and would say it is just old age. She was 75 at the time. I would say that I am around a lot of 75 yr old's and my mom seamed worse. After some arguments they finally went to a neurologist. I was suppose to drive up and go with them, as I don't believe they tell us all their medical issues. They supposedly told me the wrong day, so I wasn't able to go. They went and told us the Dr said it was normal aging. We don't think they told that Dr all the info, but will never know.

Fast forward to last Easter when my wife and I went up there. They wanted to go out to eat as it was a lot of work for my mom to do an Easter dinner. This surprised me as she always loved to cook. I also noticed that she wouldn't eat much at a meal, but was always snacking on sweet stuff or chips. My nephew was going there for May and I told him to keep an eye out. He said that when ever she cooked grandpa would hover around her to make sure she didn't mess it up. I said her memory must be getting worse. He said she may be having some incontinence issues too, but he wasn't sure. He looked at a receipt that he thought was his and it had depends on it. He didn't realize what he saw until later.

I tried to have a conversation with them in June about aging, memory and other health issues they are having. Her emphysema and him copd. They were being kind of evasive. I talked to my nephew about it and he told me they had planned a trip to MI where he lives, without even seeing if the dates worked for him. That wasn't a big deal, but weird. So 11 days ago I call them to talk to them before they go on the trip.

Well my step-dad finally told me some of the stuff going on. She went to the grocery store and got lost. Ended up at a farm house (which farms are not very close to them). It was a nice couple and they drove her back to a road she knew and then left. Well by the time she made it home she had 2 flat tires and damage to the cars front lower shroud. Apparently she ran through a construction zone that thankfully it was on Sunday. Then he tells me that she hit a mailbox a month ago with the right mirror. I said well she can't drive anymore. He said that is easier said than done. She has always worn the pants in their relationship. I said we need to get her to a Dr and he said they would do that when they get back from their trip. I said don't go to the same neurologist that you went to last time. He said we wont and that a friend referred a Dr, but the earliest appt was in March. I told him he need to make phone calls when he is in MI.

Well fast forward to their trip and my nephew is like WTF. It is far worse than they let on. The incontinence is much worse. Her memory is really bad now. Even asking my nephew if he was adopted. I am not going to go into all the problems as I am sure you all get the point. So I ask my step-dad if he has made calls and no.

Well I am done with the way they are handling it. I get on the phone to some Dr's offices. They want referrals etc.... It takes me 2 days and I get one lady at a pretty high rated place that says yes we need a referral too, but let me see if I can help you. She said to tell her everything going on. I do and she asks who her primary is and tells me she will call me tomorrow. At that point I had been on the phone with her for an hour. The next day she calls and said she called my moms primary and got a referral. She said she can get my mom in next Wednesday and can I get her there. I said absolutely.

Then the talk with the parents. My step-dad seamed relieved that I took the ball a ran with it. My mom is very nervous and started saying if you put me in a home I will never forgiver any of you. My step-dad called me later and was worried about memory care places. I told him what the average cost was and he got real quiet. I said can you afford that and he said I don't think so. I said that I would cover what he couldn't afford as I want my mom in a nice place if she had to go into a home. He perked up after that.

So I guess we will see what happens Wednesday. I hope meds will help and that they take her drivers lic. although he did say he will sell her car.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Have any of you delt with this? Any advice? I so wish I had been more forceful 2 years ago.

Is she on a statin drug. If so get her off. A low carb diet may help . A long the lines of diet most older folks dont get enough protiens. See how much protien she eats. In nature protien is package with fats. So her diet should not be low fat. I dont count oils as fat, they are to be avoided.

 

[jetboatperformance]

My Old Man lived to 90 , everytime I would visit Him he would say "So Tommy what are you doing these days to make a living" ..................... Dad the same thing I've been doing for Thirty years

 

[CarolynandBob]

Is she on a statin drug. If so get her off. A low carb diet may help . A long the lines of diet most older folks dont get enough protiens. See how much protien she eats. In nature protien is package with fats. So her diet should not be low fat. I dont count oils as fat, they are to be avoided.

Yes she was taken off the statin. No she doesn't eat enough protein IMO. She doesn't eat enough period, even though they have better food now. She is drinking Glucerna. She was down 6lb from her last neurologist visit. Dr told her that it isn't good and talked to her a lot about it, but it so far hasn't done any good.

 

[Justfishing]

Yes she was taken off the statin. No she doesn't eat enough protein IMO. She doesn't eat enough period, even though they have better food now. She is drinking Glucerna. She was down 6lb from her last neurologist visit. Dr told her that it isn't good and talked to her a lot about it, but it so far hasn't done any good.

Man i just read what is in glucerna. Lots of bad stuff. It has soy and canola oil both things i wouldnt eat.

I use a protien powder from costco. I also add a collegan supplement, another protien. In nature protien is paired with fat. I get the half gallons of half and half. Mix maybe 12 ounces of half and half along with the powders. I use a bullet mixer. It gets a little frothy so it needs to set for a while. A mix like that gets you 40-50 grams of good animal protien and 500-600 calories.

I had to look. Its ascent powder and horizon organic half and half.

With meats dont go lean. If it is lean add fat, butter is easy and good. Chicken with skin and dark meat is better.

 

[Maw]

Another tangent on this thread . . . After spending the two weeks on the cruise with the in-laws I noticed that neither was taking their daily meds, even though both swore they were. Both are on blood pressure as well as a half dozen others. A bit of reading (again further down the rabbit hole) I found multiple studies on "dementia" that pointed to the forgetting to take blood pressure meds as an accelerant to the cognitive decline. The mechanism appears to be the higher blood pressure leading to an almost continuous series of "micro-strokes" in an older brain. Unlike the TIA these can cause accumulative damage.

We had assumed that the steep downward slope they've been on the last few years was primarily the result of their self-imposed isolation due to the Covid bullshit. That's probably a component, but there now appears be a number of issues to be looked into.

The joy of aging.

 

[RiverDave]

So a little over a week ago I started getting phone calls from RE agents wanting to setup a time to show my mom’s house. I kept telling them it isn’t for sale.. after the 15th one in an hour I asked why they thought it was for sale and the guy said “because it was listed on the MLS.” . I asked for the listing agents number and called him..

“He says don’t worry she isn’t actually selling it.” (We will circle back to this many times).

I said why he listed it and he said this would prove intent that she would be moving into the trailer park. Wait what? What fucking trailer park?

“Well your mom is buying your sister a new trailer because she is getting kicked out of the trailer park she’s in.. so I’m selling that trailer and your mom is buying the new trailer.. “.

I say except my mom isn’t moving into a trailer park?? He says exactly it’s just to secure the deal..

I say well the first thing you have told me is you are committing fraud? What happens when my sister moves in and that park says my mom doesn’t live there and they just kick her out? Now we got two trailers?

Now is where we start digging to find out how bad the situation is..

My sister somehow talked my mother into taking her to her financial advisors office.. her and the RE agent told my mom that for this to happen and she wants it to happen my mom needs to put… (wait for it)

40,800 dollar in earnest money on a 200k trailer. This was done two months ago.

The RE agent talks my mom into giving him two years of tax returns.. they now have all her information..

My mother doesn’t own a computer..

The RE Agent and my sister proceed to apply for a loan in my mom’s name.. it got denied. They switch the offer to all cash.. Sister is calling the financial advisor saying “I need proof of funds today”. Trying to get the deal closed in a hurry..

Luckily he knows something isn’t right and doesn’t send it..

In the meantime my sister and the re agent e sign and release all contingencies on the earnest money to basically force the issue..

Stacy is in the truck and heading to San Diego at this point to stop everything..

She gets there and the situation is bad.. my mother can’t remember shit from five minutes ago.. and the same conversation is happening over and over again..

Stacy demands to see all the paperwork the agent says maybe he will bring it today maybe he will bring it another day.. he is basically saying he’s gonna wait her out until she leaves.

She informs him she isn’t going anywhere..

In the following days the amount of fraud that is uncovered is absolutely bewildering..

They basically tried to purchase a trailer..
The current trailer is now lost.. due to the several months they have been trying to evict my sister that trailer the property of the park.. the trailer isn’t worth much on its own but in the park being sold it was between 160-180k.. that’s gone now.

The story of oh we aren’t actually selling your mother’s house changed into “I have a one year listing agreement.” Him and my sister and full intentions of selling her house out from under her.

The re agent won’t send my mom copies of all the things she supposedly signed.. the broker won’t send them and is stalling. I mean to say this is crazy is an understatement..

Stacy brought my mom to havasu last night. It is 50 first dates.. I had no idea it was that bad, and just about anyone can influence her into anything and make her think it was her idea..

We will get most of her earnest back.. probably going to lose 6k..

APS is involved
Cops are involved
Department of real estate will be on Monday..

Total nightmare.. things are very clear my mom can’t live on her own right now.. and she definitely isn’t going back to California.

My sister is going to goto prison l. I am hoping this real Estate agent goes with her.. at a minimum loses his license..

That’s the light over view of it.. it is much much worse than even described here. The re guy is a fucking scumbag.. his broker isn’t any better..

I should have recorded all the calls to just show how many times the story changed and how he has basically threatened to keep coming back etc..

We r getting a restraining order against him soon.

RD

 

[Paradox]

So a little over a week ago I started getting phone calls from RE agents wanting to setup a time to show my mom’s house. I kept telling them it isn’t for sale.. after the 15th one in an hour I asked why they thought it was for sale and the guy said “because it was listed on the MLS.” . I asked for the listing agents number and called him..

“He says don’t worry she isn’t actually selling it.” (We will circle back to this many times).

I said why he listed it and he said this would prove intent that she would be moving into the trailer park. Wait what? What fucking trailer park?

“Well your mom is buying your sister a new trailer because she is getting kicked out of the trailer park she’s in.. so I’m selling that trailer and your mom is buying the new trailer.. “.

I say except my mom isn’t moving into a trailer park?? He says exactly it’s just to secure the deal..

I say well the first thing you have told me is you are committing fraud? What happens when my sister moves in and that park says my mom doesn’t live there and they just kick her out? Now we got two trailers?

Now is where we start digging to find out how bad the situation is..

My sister somehow talked my mother into taking her to her financial advisors office.. her and the RE agent told my mom that for this to happen and she wants it to happen my mom needs to put… (wait for it)

40,800 dollar in earnest money on a 200k trailer. This was done two months ago.

The RE agent talks my mom into giving him two years of tax returns.. they now have all her information..

My mother doesn’t own a computer..

The RE Agent and my sister proceed to apply for a loan in my mom’s name.. it got denied. They switch the offer to all cash.. Sister is calling the financial advisor saying “I need proof of funds today”. Trying to get the deal closed in a hurry..

Luckily he knows something isn’t right and doesn’t send it..

In the meantime my sister and the re agent e sign and release all contingencies on the earnest money to basically force the issue..

Stacy is in the truck and heading to San Diego at this point to stop everything..

She gets there and the situation is bad.. my mother can’t remember shit from five minutes ago.. and the same conversation is happening over and over again..

Stacy demands to see all the paperwork the agent says maybe he will bring it today maybe he will bring it another day.. he is basically saying he’s gonna wait her out until she leaves.

She informs him she isn’t going anywhere..

In the following days the amount of fraud that is uncovered is absolutely bewildering..

They basically tried to purchase a trailer..
The current trailer is now lost.. due to the several months they have been trying to evict my sister that trailer the property of the park.. the trailer isn’t worth much on its own but in the park being sold it was between 160-180k.. that’s gone now.

The story of oh we aren’t actually selling your mother’s house changed into “I have a one year listing agreement.” Him and my sister and full intentions of selling her house out from under her.

The re agent won’t send my mom copies of all the things she supposedly signed.. the broker won’t send them and is stalling. I mean to say this is crazy is an understatement..

Stacy brought my mom to havasu last night. It is 50 first dates.. I had no idea it was that bad, and just about anyone can influence her into anything and make her think it was her idea..

We will get most of her earnest back.. probably going to lose 6k..

APS is involved
Cops are involved
Department of real estate will be on Monday..

Total nightmare.. things are very clear my mom can’t live on her own right now.. and she definitely isn’t going back to California.

My sister is going to goto prison l. I am hoping this real Estate agent goes with her.. at a minimum loses his license..

That’s the light over view of it.. it is much much worse than even described here. The re guy is a fucking scumbag.. his broker isn’t any better..

I should have recorded all the calls to just show how many times the story changed and how he has basically threatened to keep coming back etc..

We r getting a restraining order against him soon.

RD

OMG. That is some FKED up shit. Sorry to hear it. Glad you caught it before it was too late. Dementia sucks.

 

[whiteworks]

So a little over a week ago I started getting phone calls from RE agents wanting to setup a time to show my mom’s house. I kept telling them it isn’t for sale.. after the 15th one in an hour I asked why they thought it was for sale and the guy said “because it was listed on the MLS.” . I asked for the listing agents number and called him..

“He says don’t worry she isn’t actually selling it.” (We will circle back to this many times).

I said why he listed it and he said this would prove intent that she would be moving into the trailer park. Wait what? What fucking trailer park?

“Well your mom is buying your sister a new trailer because she is getting kicked out of the trailer park she’s in.. so I’m selling that trailer and your mom is buying the new trailer.. “.

I say except my mom isn’t moving into a trailer park?? He says exactly it’s just to secure the deal..

I say well the first thing you have told me is you are committing fraud? What happens when my sister moves in and that park says my mom doesn’t live there and they just kick her out? Now we got two trailers?

Now is where we start digging to find out how bad the situation is..

My sister somehow talked my mother into taking her to her financial advisors office.. her and the RE agent told my mom that for this to happen and she wants it to happen my mom needs to put… (wait for it)

40,800 dollar in earnest money on a 200k trailer. This was done two months ago.

The RE agent talks my mom into giving him two years of tax returns.. they now have all her information..

My mother doesn’t own a computer..

The RE Agent and my sister proceed to apply for a loan in my mom’s name.. it got denied. They switch the offer to all cash.. Sister is calling the financial advisor saying “I need proof of funds today”. Trying to get the deal closed in a hurry..

Luckily he knows something isn’t right and doesn’t send it..

In the meantime my sister and the re agent e sign and release all contingencies on the earnest money to basically force the issue..

Stacy is in the truck and heading to San Diego at this point to stop everything..

She gets there and the situation is bad.. my mother can’t remember shit from five minutes ago.. and the same conversation is happening over and over again..

Stacy demands to see all the paperwork the agent says maybe he will bring it today maybe he will bring it another day.. he is basically saying he’s gonna wait her out until she leaves.

She informs him she isn’t going anywhere..

In the following days the amount of fraud that is uncovered is absolutely bewildering..

They basically tried to purchase a trailer..
The current trailer is now lost.. due to the several months they have been trying to evict my sister that trailer the property of the park.. the trailer isn’t worth much on its own but in the park being sold it was between 160-180k.. that’s gone now.

The story of oh we aren’t actually selling your mother’s house changed into “I have a one year listing agreement.” Him and my sister and full intentions of selling her house out from under her.

The re agent won’t send my mom copies of all the things she supposedly signed.. the broker won’t send them and is stalling. I mean to say this is crazy is an understatement..

Stacy brought my mom to havasu last night. It is 50 first dates.. I had no idea it was that bad, and just about anyone can influence her into anything and make her think it was her idea..

We will get most of her earnest back.. probably going to lose 6k..

APS is involved
Cops are involved
Department of real estate will be on Monday..

Total nightmare.. things are very clear my mom can’t live on her own right now.. and she definitely isn’t going back to California.

My sister is going to goto prison l. I am hoping this real Estate agent goes with her.. at a minimum loses his license..

That’s the light over view of it.. it is much much worse than even described here. The re guy is a fucking scumbag.. his broker isn’t any better..

I should have recorded all the calls to just show how many times the story changed and how he has basically threatened to keep coming back etc..

We r getting a restraining order against him soon.

RD

Your mom is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, I’m sorry to hear she’s having these troubles. Sounds like a good time to get her out with you guys where you can keep a closer eye on her and help her with whatever she needs.

This dementia stuff is a damn roller coaster of ups and downs. The little victory’s along the way are nice when they happen, keep your chin up.

 

[dezrtracer]

Unreal Dave ! Glad you found out before it was too late . Anyone taking advantage of the elderly should spend 25+ years at the gray bar motel . Hope the judge throws the book at all involved in this nightmare ...

 

[RiverDave]

Unreal Dave ! Glad you found out before it was too late . Anyone taking advantage of the elderly should spend 25+ years at the gray bar motel . Hope the judge throws the book at all involved in this nightmare ...

It is pretty wild, and the amount of anger I have inside right now is immeasurable.. my main thing at this point is to take care of my mom and try to figure out a sensible plan to move forward.

RD

 

[Willie B]

…

It is pretty wild, and the amount of anger I have inside right now is immeasurable.. my main thing at this point is to take care of my mom and try to figure out a sensible plan to move forward.

RD

… Just some random Sunday night thoughts???…

… Your mom for sure needs to be kept away from the scumbags and be around stable people…

… With something like this …you yourself need to absolutely keep your cool…. It would be too easy to do something Irrational…Stick by the law at this point…

… You may need a court order to get all the paperwork involved brought out into the open… Then again it might be too easy for the bad people to make all the paperwork disappear…

… It may not be until tomorrow when the brainiacs of RDP appear and give you some very sound …”case law”…legal advice…

… Good luck with this… To this day, I simply do not understand why some people need to be so greedy..

 

[CarolynandBob]

Sorry to hear this Dave. I am glad my step-dad is in control of all money. Mom can't spend anything. I have power of attorney over both of them should he get to the point of not being able to handle it.

On a side note with in the past year I am executor on 4 peoples estates and have power of attorney over all of them. That doesn't include family members, which there are 3 that I will have to deal with. Glad my brother is over the other 3 that are elderly.