Ass moisture

[Tom Brown]

Last week, I started a spin class. I'll be taking it three days per week for the next few weeks. It's a tough hour and a pretty decent workout.

The class consists of 5 men and 40 women packed into a room that will barely fit the exercise bikes and an instructor. As many of you know, I fancy myself a back row type. This plays into my preference to keep a low profile and also allows me to work like an animal with my face inches away from the ass of the woman in front of me.

Many of the women in the class are nothing short of spectacular. Their fitness and muscle tone is an inspiration in my struggle against obesity. Watching them is deliciously uncomfortable.

Immediately in front of me and just a little to my left is a young woman in her early 20s. I'll bet her waist is no more than 24 inches. She's fantastic. Further away, perhaps 24” to my right and just in front is a woman of 45 years in perfect condition. To my mind, she is the most fantastic looking woman in the class. She could easily pass for mid 30s but I happen to know her and her real age. What's more, she is in world class physical condition and her body is perfectly toned. She hits the class hard and has letter perfect technique and perfect posture every second she is on the monocycle.

In my back row, to my direct left, is the class jock. This guy is in pretty good shape. He's wearing SPD shoes and brand new looking bike clothes from a boutique shop. He obviously fancies himself good pals with the instructor and tries to talk with him frequently, although the instructor doesn't much acknowledge he exists.

Also in the back row, to my immediate right, is the class fatty. You know what I'm talking about... the chick who one day realizes she is 250 lbs so she goes to the gym and trains beyond lethal levels so she can get down to 105 by the weekend. There's no way any competent medical professional would condone her being in the class and worse, she fills the room with methane.

Something I noticed the first class is these women come in dry and before long, moisture develops in the center of their ass. I don't think it's their sphincter as the wet circles are just a little high for that but I also don't think it's sweat running down their backs as the clothes they wear are pretty tight. What's more, it's on the vertical part of their ass where the material is bridging their cleavage.

I've been pondering the source of this ass moisture since last week. So far, I'm clueless. The moisture was there again today, like it was all three classes last week. Both women immediately in front of me get it.

Any idea where it's coming from? I'm desperate and need to know.

 

[djunkie]

________
Elite E

 

[DeltaSigBoater]

:hmm

This has NASA scientist baffled too

 

[Yellowboat]

:hmm

This has NASA scientist baffled too

That just proves my point...

Its easier to put a man on the moon then it is to figure out anything about women.

 

[TBI]

Tom I think I can help you to understand this "ass moisture"
phenomenon much the same way you helped me to understand oranges.
However....not possessing the the verbal fortitude that you have been gifted with,
I took the liberty of explaining with a graphic.

I hope this helps, Bilge

 

[Wombat]

she fills the room with methane.

Only last week l was doing a High impact aerobics class when the Instructor said in the cool down section at the end she wanted every one to spread there legs and lower then selves down and relax.

Fatal mistake, this women next to me let go with a ripper of a fart (and l might say said nothing) and stink l felt like the bitch threw acid in my eyes.

So l duly paid her my respect and asked WHO CLEANS YOUR FUCKING CAGE OUT IN THE MORNING DARLING. She has'nt been back since. :hotdevil

 

[Guest]

Last week, I started a spin class. I'll be taking it three days per week for the next few weeks. It's a tough hour and a pretty decent workout.

The class consists of 5 men and 40 women packed into a room that will barely fit the exercise bikes and an instructor. As many of you know, I fancy myself a back row type. This plays into my preference to keep a low profile and also allows me to work like an animal with my face inches away from the ass of the woman in front of me.

Many of the women in the class are nothing short of spectacular. Their fitness and muscle tone is an inspiration in my struggle against obesity. Watching them is deliciously uncomfortable.

Immediately in front of me and just a little to my left is a young woman in her early 20s. I'll bet her waist is no more than 24 inches. She's fantastic. Further away, perhaps 24” to my right and just in front is a woman of 45 years in perfect condition. To my mind, she is the most fantastic looking woman in the class. She could easily pass for mid 30s but I happen to know her and her real age. What's more, she is in world class physical condition and her body is perfectly toned. She hits the class hard and has letter perfect technique and perfect posture every second she is on the monocycle.

In my back row, to my direct left, is the class jock. This guy is in pretty good shape. He's wearing SPD shoes and brand new looking bike clothes from a boutique shop. He obviously fancies himself good pals with the instructor and tries to talk with him frequently, although the instructor doesn't much acknowledge he exists.

Also in the back row, to my immediate right, is the class fatty. You know what I'm talking about... the chick who one day realizes she is 250 lbs so she goes to the gym and trains beyond lethal levels so she can get down to 105 by the weekend. There's no way any competent medical professional would condone her being in the class and worse, she fills the room with methane.

Something I noticed the first class is these women come in dry and before long, moisture develops in the center of their ass. I don't think it's their sphincter as the wet circles are just a little high for that but I also don't think it's sweat running down their backs as the clothes they wear are pretty tight. What's more, it's on the vertical part of their ass where the material is bridging their cleavage.

I've been pondering the source of this ass moisture since last week. So far, I'm clueless. The moisture was there again today, like it was all three classes last week. Both women immediately in front of me get it.

Any idea where it's coming from? I'm desperate and need to know.

It's not ass moisture.....it's nacho cheese.....

 

[TITTIES AND BEER]

we gona need some pics tom

 

[Guest]

she fills the room with methane.

 

[HavasuHank]

sounds like a case of "swamp ass"

 

[Old Texan]

You sure it's not somehow related to you drooling so much?

 

[socalmoney]

It's my seed re-activating under the heat.

 

[DaveC]

LOL that would be my guess also... Tom's drool got airborne.

You sure it's not somehow related to you drooling so much?

 

[Ziggy]

Very interesting Tom.....indeed.
I'd guess sweat might be the culprit

 

[ROZ]

I think it may be condensation from your breath. Move your bike back a little bit

 

[Earl-Bob]

Sounds like a case of the monkey butt.I would like to see it anyway

 

[ROZ]

Sounds like a case of the monkey butt.I would like to see it anyway

You know, they have a powder for that

 

[musicFunsun]

You "spin" and interesting "tail"

 

[Skankersore]

This ultra-embarassing situation happens to me when I use the garden hose in lieu of an enema.

 

[justfloatn]

Nice descriptions to help the reader visualize. Funny and yet interesting; leaves you with something to think about at the end. I give it a A-

 

[shreve"T"]

I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN A LONG TIME... "OMG" This SHIT is FUNNY...:lmao:lmao

 

[RiverDave]

This ultra-embarassing situation happens to me when I use the garden hose in lieu of an enema.

LMAO! (no pun intended)

RD

 

[mrs. bordsmnj]

I take spin class a couple times of week and would like to consider myself somewhere between your class hottie and class fattie. I sit front and center in front of the instructor so I do not have the pleasure of checking out other's sweaty asses. I will check it out at class tomorrow for you.

 

[DeltaSigBoater]

I think we should start a grassroots movement to lobby a referendum on the november ballot that would allow federal funding to research ass moisture

:beer

 

[Guest]

Spinners......

 

[snake321]

This is the place where hydrogen gas (fartus eruptus) reaches the atmosphere which is made of oxygen and becomes H2O.
This gaseous condensation is bound to be more prevalent on the methane woman.
Please pedal over her way and report back.

 

[TBI]

I don't think that sound was a fart Brown,
I think you just have something in your spokes

 

[River Lynchmob]

This is one of the funnier threads I have seen in a long time I had to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Especially the line about who cleans out your cage in the morning darlin. How could she have benn offended after you called her darlin?

 

[Guest]

Tom....Is this the object of your ...ass moisture desires?.......

 

[TITTIES AND BEER]

tom,did ya fart while on the bike?maybe it was wet fart?

 

[HavasuHank]

Tom....Is this the object of your ...ass moisture desires?.......

that was wrong on so many levels .... i think i threw up a little

 

[Stalkaholic]

Tom....Is this the object of your ...ass moisture desires?.......

No..I'm thinking that is the object of his methane donor desires.

 

[Nord]

I wish I had time for a spin class........
I want to see the "ass moisture" phenominon.

 

[sorry dog]

Brown, I fully expect a more complete assessment of the situation.

You should definately find one of the asses in question and request a sample to taste and based on salinity and acidity you should be able to roughly ascertain the origin of the secretions.

 

[Tom Brown]

Friday Power Pacing was a good class but I was in the corner. The only woman's ass I could see was an older woman wearing a t-shirt that hung down over her ass and even over the bike seat.

I need lycra for the purposes of this study.

The hottie content was through the roof. It was definitely the best class yet but I was looking at these women from the front.

At the end of the class, the ladies all darted out early to be back to work on time. I, of course, stayed to the end of the class with four other people.

That didn't stop me from checking out the asses of two gorgeous young women, though. Both wore spandex, both were smoking hot, and both looked dry.

.... I will continue to compile data... for science.

 

[DeltaSigBoater]

Friday Power Pacing was a good class but I was in the corner. The only woman's ass I could see was an older woman wearing a t-shirt that hung down over her ass and even over the bike seat.

I need lycra for the purposes of this study.

The hottie content was through the roof. It was definitely the best class yet but I was looking at these women from the front.

At the end of the class, the ladies all darted out early to be back to work on time. I, of course, stayed to the end of the class with four other people.

That didn't stop me from checking out the asses of two gorgeous young women, though. Both wore spandex, both were smoking hot, and both looked dry.

.... I will continue to compile data... for science.

WORTHLESS W/O PICS!

 

[shreve"T"]

Tom PLEASE keep us posted on any and all new finding's.....

 

[Guest]

Tom ...are you familiar with the term...relative humidity?...

 

[Tom Brown]

I’ve been taking a spin class at a different gym with some friends but I did take the spin class of topic in this thread last Friday.

Weather conditions were terrible. I showed up a couple of minutes prior to the class and the class was only half full. Not wanting to be too standoffish, I grabbed a bike in the second row. In front of me were two empty bikes with empty bikes behind me in the third row, also.

A woman came in and took one of the bikes in front of me shortly after the class started and two guys hopped onto the bikes behind me at about the same time. The woman was a 20ish year old blonde with a perfect little body. Her tight white t-shirt and black lycra pants were inspirational.

What is it about watching a woman from behind as she peddles? It has to be the most flattering view of the hips, waist, and shoulder hourglass figure there is.

About ten minutes into the class, a 70 lb Asian woman mounted the other bike in front of me. She probably wanted to give her tendons a workout. I would guess her waist at 18”. No more. When she would lean forward, you could see her pelvic bone through her gluteus. While a little thin for my taste, she was wearing capri style lycra pants that showcased her calves to wondrous effect. The wife beater top she was wearing revealed the spaghetti straps that held up the bra she pretended to need for her sub a-cups. Her shoulders and calves were the most delicious smooth golden bronze skin tone I’ve ever seen. It was one of the few moments in my life, I contemplated the benefits of cannibalism. Given her leanness, she would require breading to make much of a meal, though.

After the class, when I dismounted to do some stretching, I realized the guys behind me had been checking out my ass moisture the whole class.

 

[snake321]

are you thinking that somewhere out there there is a thread just like this on a homo forum comtemplating the origins of ass moisture??

 

[WTRR]

After the class, when I dismounted to do some stretching, I realized the guys behind me had been checking out my ass moisture the whole class.

Careful that you don't leave any dragon gravy on your bike seat. That could be an invitation for a bootie call from your butt pirate classmates.

 

[Wombat]

Went to the gym last night for my upper body session, l was working like a black ant and was about half way through a great work out when it happened.

This great looking lady l would say late 30's to early early 40's came over and asked for some help in setting up the Pec deck for her , no problems only to happy to help.

So here l am standing in front of her helping her with her reps (l could not help but notice she had a fabulous rack) when l glance down and notice l am getting a fucking boner.

Now any of you guys who wear the small trainning shorts in the gym would recognize this problem and how ambarrassing this could be.

So l say to her to close her eyes and focus on what she is doing ( l start thinking how the hell am l going to get out of this), when she finishs l say no problem l spin around and jump straight on the leg extension machine (flat on my stomach) next to her and starting working flat out like a one legged man in a arse kicking competition.

Got to say that my legs are now as tight as a fishs arsehole.

How embarrassing is that...............:smackhead

 

[Slow What]

Went to the gym last night for my upper body session, l was working like a black ant and was about half way through a great work out when it happened.

This great looking lady l would say late 30's to early early 40's came over and asked for some help in setting up the Pec deck for her , no problems only to happy to help.

So here l am standing in front of her helping her with her reps (l could not help but notice she had a fabulous rack) when l glance down and notice l am getting a fucking boner.

Now any of you guys who wear the small trainning shorts in the gym would recognize this problem and how ambarrassing this could be.

So l say to her to close her eyes and focus on what she is doing ( l start thinking how the hell am l going to get out of this), when she finishs l say no problem l spin around and jump straight on the leg extension machine (flat on my stomach) next to her and starting working flat out like a one legged man in a arse kicking competition.

Got to say that my legs are now as tight as a fishs arsehole.

How embarrassing is that...............:smackhead

oint

While your story was amusing and clearly shows you are dealing with some sexual frustration ... it in no way helps Tom in his quest for knowledge of ass moisture

 

[whiteworks]

Ass moisture solved:

My wife just got home from the gym, she was sporting the spandex deal and had some ass moisture goin on. it seems that what is occuring is that the thong being worn under the spandex collects sweat and soaks through the spandex.

 

[Tom Brown]

... it seems that what is occuring is that the thong being worn under the spandex collects sweat and soaks through the spandex.

You have my vote for president, whiteworks.

 

[Skankersore]

I jumped off the treadmill yesterday after a 45 min run to discover my grey spandex shorts were soaked; however my G-string was delineated perfectly, leaving nothing to the imagination.

I need to look into selling ad space across sweaty asses. Perhaps I can manufacture panties that double as a billboard. Who would be the appropriate sponsors?

Honey Baked Ham? Jenny Craig?

 

[rrrr]

I don't have anyhting to add......I just wanted to thank Tom for raising awareness of posterior perspiration. :beer

 

[TBI]

How are your studies coming along Tom?

 

[Guest]

 

[Mandelon]