Adult children

[Cole Trickle]

Too be fair its very hard for young people im ca right now. Ghetto apartments going for 2k+ why work your ass off if it means nothing? I am not saying thier are not entitled amd lazy ones. Just that i totally understand people not wanting to work if it gets them no where.

When i was 21 minimum wage was $6 and it was easy to find a job making 10-15. Rent on a 1 bedroom was $600/ month. Fast forward today. Minimum wage is $10, if you are lucky you can find a job making 12-15 and that same 1 bedroom is $1400.

Move.....

 

[Mandelon]

How old was he when diagnosed?

I'm not buying the I can't do anything...That's complete horseshit and he is using it as an excuse.

My guess (and it's a real thing) is he has severe depression due to type 1. He feels different and is letting something that is 100% controllable dictate his life. If he needs a mentor or someone to talk to that understands I am willing to help. I have met a ton of people that are letting a controllable disease beat them. Its all in the mind and with tight control (get him a Dexcom CGM) he can live a beautiful life if he works for it and stops feeling sorry for himself.

You're absolutely right, there's professional athletes and a zillion successful people that are type 1. He definitely uses it as an excuse. He does have a pump. But he doesn't test often enough. I know he can control his numbers better but he only tests when he feels off. It is quite frustrating. Test and correct... it is not that hard.

 

[bowtiejunkie]

21, works a bit, goes to college. Doesn’t appear to be a problem IMO, if he isn’t getting into trouble.

All Mom ever said to my brother and I was “you’re going to college.” So, that’s what I did. I wore out enough Hula Hoes doing yard work for money as a teenager, plus was a paperboy for a few years, and did some odd jobs here and there. Not lazy, but I hated school. Mom paid the whole college tab. I worked retail jobs during summers for Chevelle parts money. Meanwhile, I took every Stafford Loan I could get and invested 100% of the money. At end of year 4 of college, I ran out of motivation. Was working retail at the Outlet Mall in Barstow. Tried to get on at SCE, but failed. After 6 months I said, what the hell, I’m going nowhere making $6.25/he. Enrolled back in college and graduated 3 semesters later in Spring 2000 with a BS in Finance. Lucky for me I got my one and only job offer right as I was walking out the door for graduation ceremony. I was seriously dreading having to move back home with no job prospects!! Been with the company 19+ years now.

I started to slipped into the failed to start kid, but working shitty retail jobs and under burned out management kicked my ass into gear to finish college and get a real job making real money.

 

[Cole Trickle]

You're absolutely right, there's professional athletes and a zillion successful people that are type 1. He definitely uses it as an excuse. He does have a pump. But he doesn't test often enough. I know he can control his numbers better but he only tests when he feels off. It is quite frustrating. Test and correct... it is not that hard.

He probably feels like shit and he is jeopardizing his future.....

The biggest improvement in Type 1 technology since I was diagnosed was the CGM. Most Primary care physicians don't have time to keep up to speed and I actually heard about the CGM through you tube about 5 years ago. Total game changer you know what your blood glucose is doing constantly through the day and you can set alarms for lows that will wake you up as well as highs that are going to kill you long term.

Even before the CGM I tested 5-7 times a day as I just don't like feeling like crap.....The more info you have the more you can control it.

A little back ground I was diagnosed at age 13 (30 years ago) I had a couple rough years but at around age 20 I finally decided I wasn't going to let this thing beat me. I remember working a charity event at a children's cancer ward and left that day thinking what the fuck am I complaining about life could be so so much worse. There are always rough days the key is to keep it to days and not weeks/months. My dads business partner was diagnosed 2 years before me and lived a poor me coddled life. Never moved out and his parents took care of him. He went weeks without testing and loved to drink and smoke.

Ended up with Kidney failure about 8 years ago. 75 year old dad drove him to dialysis several times a week until he got a transplant. Got the transplant and they also offered to do a pancreas transplant (this isn't approved except for special exceptions) if he would stop smoking....He wouldn't/Couldn't.

Time marched on and he treated the new Kidneys and his diabetes the same way he always had. I wen't to Steve's Funeral last year he died at the age of 48.

Sad and completely controllable if he had only tried and fought for his health.


https://www.dexcom.com/

 

[was thatguy]

Too be fair its very hard for young people im ca right now. Ghetto apartments going for 2k+ why work your ass off if it means nothing? I am not saying thier are not entitled amd lazy ones. Just that i totally understand people not wanting to work if it gets them no where.

When i was 21 minimum wage was $6 and it was easy to find a job making 10-15. Rent on a 1 bedroom was $600/ month. Fast forward today. Minimum wage is $10, if you are lucky you can find a job making 12-15 and that same 1 bedroom is $1400.

Depends.
I was renting a 3 bedroom house, 2 bath, 1 1/2 car garage in Vacaville for $1650.
We were there 5 years. (That’s where I just moved from).
Vacaville is a clean, well kept town compared to some nearby towns. It’s right between SF and Sac.
There are lots of retail and service industry jobs there, and I’d be shocked if they pay less than $12-$15 an hour.
I’m sure the rent went up on that house after I left, but it would still be less than $1000 a month per person for 2 Roomates.
But you aren’t wrong, my daughter pays $1400 for a 3 bedroom small apartment in Roseville. It’s decent, decent area, community pool, etc.
But just down the road she could be in a rental house for about the same.

Now getting approved might be a different story.

 

[Yellowboat]

Depends.
I was renting a 3 bedroom house, 2 bath, 1 1/2 car garage in Vacaville for $1650.
We were there 5 years. (That’s where I just moved from).
Vacaville is a clean, well kept town compared to some nearby towns. It’s right between SF and Sac.
There are lots of retail and service industry jobs there, and I’d be shocked if they pay less than $12-$15 an hour.
I’m sure the rent went up on that house after I left, but it would still be less than $1000 a month per person for 2 Roomates.
But you aren’t wrong, my daughter pays $1400 for a 3 bedroom small apartment in Roseville. It’s decent, decent area, community pool, etc.
But just down the road she could be in a rental house for about the same.

Now getting approved might be a different story.

Dp you k ow where sunrise mall is? My mom still live in the fair oaks area, she sent me a pic of the banner they had on the side of the ghetto apartments right there and it was 1400 for a 1 bedroom

 

[was thatguy]

Dp you k ow where sunrise mall is? My mom still live in the fair oaks area, she sent me a pic of the banner they had on the side of the ghetto apartments right there and it was 1400 for a 1 bedroom

Yes I know where you’re talking about and I don’t doubt it for a second.
That’s what I’m saying though, you don’t HAVE to live in sac, Roseville, Gold River etc.

 

[rmarion]

not specifically addressed to the OP..

just on the subject

Kids need PARENTS!!!!!. not a parent as a friend

 

[TCHB]

That’s not getting lucky. That doing it correct.
Choose your kids schools wisely. Starting at middle school. Kids spend more time with teachers and their friends than they do the parents. As a parent you have one part of their growth to being good adults. You CAN create the environments the are in during the critical learning ages.

In classes with slacker teachers and students, they all follow the path.

Go Mater Dei

 

[checkrd past]

He probably feels like shit and he is jeopardizing his future.....

The biggest improvement in Type 1 technology since I was diagnosed was the CGM. Most Primary care physicians don't have time to keep up to speed and I actually heard about the CGM through you tube about 5 years ago. Total game changer you know what your blood glucose is doing constantly through the day and you can set alarms for lows that will wake you up as well as highs that are going to kill you long term.

Even before the CGM I tested 5-7 times a day as I just don't like feeling like crap.....The more info you have the more you can control it.

A little back ground I was diagnosed at age 13 (30 years ago) I had a couple rough years but at around age 20 I finally decided I wasn't going to let this thing beat me. I remember working a charity event at a children's cancer ward and left that day thinking what the fuck am I complaining about life could be so so much worse. There are always rough days the key is to keep it to days and not weeks/months. My dads business partner was diagnosed 2 years before me and lived a poor me coddled life. Never moved out and his parents took care of him. He went weeks without testing and loved to drink and smoke.

Ended up with Kidney failure about 8 years ago. 75 year old dad drove him to dialysis several times a week until he got a transplant. Got the transplant and they also offered to do a pancreas transplant (this isn't approved except for special exceptions) if he would stop smoking....He wouldn't/Couldn't.

Time marched on and he treated the new Kidneys and his diabetes the same way he always had. I wen't to Steve's Funeral last year he died at the age of 48.

Sad and completely controllable if he had only tried and fought for his health.


https://www.dexcom.com/

Got my Dexcom G6 a year ago . the best thing ever for my type 2 .I am absolutely in control with my sugars

 

[rivermobster]

not specifically addressed to the OP..

just on the subject

Kids need PARENTS!!!!!. not a parent as a friend

My kids and I are best of friends...

Does that mean I cater to them? Not no, but HELL no! I bust em both hard when it needs to be done. Probably why they do respect me, and consider me to be their friend? Cause I'm always acting in their best interest, even if it's painful for them.

What they don't need are enablers. Parents that coddle them, and don't understand what tough love really is. Giving them participation trophies and shit.

I made my kids go to martial arts, even when they didn't want to. Pushed my son HARD to finish his Eagle Scout project, and believe me, it was an uphill fight. But he's so thankful now that I did. Kids need to be pushed and shoved and forced to do what they don't want to do sometimes.

Isn't that what you do for your friends? Much less your own flesh and blood?

You kick em in the ass when they need it!!!

 

[hallett21]

My kids and I are best of friends...

Does that mean I cater to them? Not no, but HELL no! I bust em both hard when it needs to be done. Probably why they do respect me, and consider me to be their friend? Cause I'm always acting in their best interest, even if it's painful for them.

What they don't need are enablers. Parents that coddle them, and don't understand what tough love really is. Giving them participation trophies and shit.

I made my kids go to martial arts, even when they didn't want to. Pushed my son HARD to finish his Eagle Scout project, and believe me, it was an uphill fight. But he's so thankful now that I did. Kids need to be pushed and shoved and forced to do what they don't want to do sometimes.

Isn't that what you do for your friends? Much less your own flesh and blood?

You kick em in the ass when they need it!!!

Not a parent but what you described is how I define all my best friends [emoji1303]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Sherpa]

My parents instilled a great work ethic into me.
Mowing lawns, washing cars, raking leaves, odd jobs etc. I was 8. Paper route for 3 years into my 16th birthday. Farm job during all 3 years of high school working for my high school shop teacher's family farm. Also gas stations, and even worked at the skating rink in Chico. That was my fun job..

I have 3 daughters early 20's now.

I decided at 24 after having bought my first house at being 22 (and loosing that job; and couldn't find anything even close to half pay locally) that I had to go back to college. I already had over a full year at JC completed but work and school were too much.

My daughters were all offered college on my dime, transportation, etc all covered. Just gotta get at least a 3.0
Or they pay next semester.. Out of the 3, 2 are still attending. My oldest is engaged, and started back at school again.

They are all welcome to live at home.
And they have to work, or school, or GTFO. I'm gonna collect room and board based at 20% of their gross pay.......

When they want to move out, I'll rebate that 20% back to them. Hopefully start a ROTH with it..

But I'm not telling them that ahead of time... Problem here in the Bay Area is rents for 1 bedroom apt are 1600-3500 per month. My mortgage is 2300 Piti.

No slackers allowed..

Sherpa