A dear friend took their life this week.

[HTTP404]

I’m sitting here crying in my beer over the loss of a friend, Boss, and mentor. Hopefully I won’t have too many typos.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I’m sitting out back trying to come to grips with how someone with everything going for them in life can decide to end it. This has shocked me more than anything in my life.

He leaves behind a great family and successful business. The company he founded in 1985 is devastated.

I guess all I can say is don’t work yourself too hard. There will always more work to do. Don’t let it consume you. You can only have so many irons in the fire.

 

[HNL2LHC]

Wow.... So sorry to hear of the news and the loss that you are experiencing at this time. Best to you and his family at this time.

 

[monkeyswrench]

There is always a veil we keep over ourselves. A screen or facade, mask if you will, to keep others from seeing what we see...sometimes we see things differently than others, and sometimes what we see is not real. The human mind is both amazing and frightening. It's abilities to create are endless, but so is it's ability to hurt.

I apologize for the loss of your friend. All you can do now is try and help the family in this time of need. Your friend's pain has ceased, but their's is just beginning.

 

[rivermobster]

Had a friend do the same a few years ago.

He was always Mr Happy. Wife, kids, toys, horses. Successful by anyone's bar.

Ya just never know. Very sorry for your loss.

 

[WYRD]

Your words of wisdom speak the truth. Condolences on the loss of your friend and prayers to his family. ❤

 

[HCP3]

Sorry to hear . Depression is a hard thing to understand.

 

[RiverDave]

I am terribly sorry to read about your friend..

 

[Bullet28]

Sorry for the loss of your friend, prayers sent.

 

[riverroyal]

Geezus. Im in havasu right this second trying to figure out a summer off road long weekend. At the same time work is about to start a panic project in downtown LA which will consume my life until January.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[yz450mm]

You're not going to want to hear this, but your boss and mentor and friend had some demons hanging over his head. No matter how successful his business was on the outside, you never know what was happening on the inside.

Sometimes people make bad decisions, and they can never get out from underneath that wet blanket.

Chester Bennington of Linkin Park had one of the most successful rock bands in the past twenty years, but his struggle with depression got him in the end. What a shame, likewise for your friend.





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[Rotten deal]

So very sorry for you and his family and friends.

 

[Ziggy]

My deepest condolences to your friends family. and pray they can find peace in his departure.
We never know what tomorrow brings.

 

[OCMerrill]

Very sad to read. Mental illness comes in many forms of which the majority are unseen.

There is nothing that anyone could have done and I feel for your suffering right now having been through this.

Remember the good stuff and try and avoid the why because that lies with him, for now anyway, and possibly forever.

 

[Xring01]

Wow, This is a great thread, not because of this tragedy, but because we can all get short sited and focus on the short term goals -and lose site on the long term goals.

We are all human, we all have weaknesses and strengths.

This thread, in my opinion should focus on the what can happen if we get to focused on the the short term with out considering the long term impacts of the decisions made every day.

My condolences to you, your friends family.

I hope that my comments are taken in the mindset I intended.

 

[CarolynandBob]

Sorry for your loss.

Back in my early 20's I suffered from depression. The only thing I can suggest to people is find someone you can trust that will not judge you. Talk to them and tell them "everything". All your demons, fears, wants and mistakes. It is incredibly freeing just getting it out.

 

[RitcheyRch]

So sorry to read this and sorry for your loss.

 

[DILLIGAF]

Condolences. Hopefully your friend can RIP now.

 

[charlyox]

So sad.

 

[SoCalDave]

So sorry to read this, condolences to you and his family.

 

[BIGRED9158]

Sorry for your loss

 

[BUDMAN]

So sorry for the loss of your friend.

 

[jet496]

VERY, VERY sorry. It's just messed up.

 

[Fastdadtsmith]

So sorry to read this. So much pain left behind. I can't imagine the circumstances that require a permanent ending. But we all have our breaking point. My prayers and condolences to those left behind.

 

[lenmann]

I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you, and his family, that you can find some peace, hope and light in this very dark time.

 

[OldSchoolBoats]

So sorry for your loss man. I recently lost a high school buddy and fellow boater to suicide as well. It is definitely tough, especially when they leave behind so many people that cared about them and kids too.......[emoji26][emoji26]

I don't know why people feel that this is even an option. It is so freaking selfish.

If anyone EVER thinks this is the only way, please call me........day, night.....whenever. Even if we have never met or corresponded, I CARE!!

661-993-9192



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[Sleek-Jet]

Deepest condolences on the passing of your friend and mentor. I hope that as time passes, the circumstances of his death fades and you and his family are left with the good memories of who he was.

This last year has been difficult for healthy people, let alone for someone that suffers from mental Illness. It's to bad we can't see those wounds and help our friends when they most need it.

I used to "blame" people that took their own lives, now I realize that they are is such a place that they don't feel there is any other option. It's god damned heartbreaking.

 

[JDKRXW]

Sorry to read this about your friend.
There are far more people who, on the outside, look like they are crushing life.....but on the inside are a complete and utter mental health disaster than you think.

 

[Havasu blue label]

Sorry for the loss remember the good times

 

[FreeBird236]

So sorry to hear, condolences to you. May he RIP.

 

[Water Romper]

I have no words that can help ease the pain left behind when someone takes their own life. I don't know you or the gentleman who took his life but I do know the pain, sorrow, guilt, "second guessing" and the emptiness that now rests on the shoulders of all involved (family, friends, co-workers etc) The only thing I can advise is to morn the loss of your friend, help the family if you see the need and if they ask and take stock in your own life and give thanks for the goodness you may have (Wife, children, family, friends etc) Your posting this on RDP shows your desire for support and understanding- and you will get it. Great group of folks here and while we tease, bash and poke fun, no one here will make light of this tragedy. Take care.

 

[Desert Whaler]

I am very sorry to hear this, truly sad.
I was a volunteer fireman for a few years. Nothing really got to me about all the trauma, fires, traffice accidents , gunshots, etc. . . . except 1 suicide. It was a young lady in her mid 20's. She had 'researched' and did her homework on taking her own life . . . she did it with pills, but had made it as 'convenient' for all of her family. She had paid off all her bills, had the power, gas, and water turned off. She left all her bank statements,bills, paperwork, etc. on the kitchen table with post-it notes outlining instructions. She even had her cats vet records and a bag of cat food on the table with instructions. What really stuck with me was she had a book about how to commit suicide . . .she left it on the table and put hand wriitten post-it notes on several pages with notes that said, 'Remember when you told me . . . . . well this is how I felt about that'. It was super sad cause from the short time I was there, my takeaway was that she had an asshole boyfriend who gave her shit about her weight . . . . the thing that really sucked was that she wasn't fat at all . . . just a beautiful young gal . . . . when her mom arrived and began to scream and cry was something I will never forget. That changed me forever . . . no matter what you think about someone, you have no idea what's really going on in heir head.

 

[HBCraig]

Sorry brother. Sorry for your loss

 

[24 Sleekenforcer]

So sorry for your loss, praying for you and his family. may he R.I.P .

 

[BHC Vic]

So sorry for your loss. It can happen fast. A couple months ago i posted how I felt the whole world was against me and I couldn’t catch a break. I’m lucky to have some good people here that set me straight. I had too many irons in the fire and I needed to regroup. I’m lucky that I’ve never been afraid to talk about my problems. Some people hold them in and it eats them up slowly.

 

[oldschool]

Sorry for your and the families loss.

 

[Water Romper]

So sorry for your loss. It can happen fast. A couple months ago i posted how I felt the whole world was against me and I couldn’t catch a break. I’m lucky to have some good people here that set me straight. I had too many irons in the fire and I needed to regroup. I’m lucky that I’ve never been afraid to talk about my problems. Some people hold them in and it eats them up slowly.

Pretty scary how many of us have had "to many irons in the fire" and the weight of the world is/was on our shoulders. Glad you were able to "regroup" and re-evaluate.

 

[monkeyswrench]

I don't know why people feel that this is even an option. It is so freaking selfish.




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I don't think anyone ever feels it is "an option". I believe they feel it is the "only option".
I had a friend explain it to me like this, "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem". As wrong as it may be, it may be the only solution that presents itself to a person. If a person is hurting bad enough, the solution first to appear is taken.
Reality itself is pretty damn scary. When our minds start adding to that, it could make the stresses and fear unbearable.

 

[73beast]

I don't think anyone ever feels it is "an option". I believe they feel it is the "only option".
I had a friend explain it to me like this, "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem". As wrong as it may be, it may be the only solution that presents itself to a person. If a person is hurting bad enough, the solution first to appear is taken.
Reality itself is pretty damn scary. When our minds start adding to that, it could make the stresses and fear unbearable.

This is so true, a person does not wake up one morning and decides to end their life. They have been on a long hard road in their mind and feel this is the only way off that road. So sorry for your loss.

 

[Long Way Home]

So sorry for you.
This has happen twice in my big family , As human beings, it is difficult for us to relate to mental pain, depression, severe anxiety and empathize with what someone so afflicted is feeling. The mind is so tortured and in so much mental pain, people are not in their right mind, they just want the pain to end, they are not thinking rationally when they took their life.
Depression is not a feeling, it is an illness.

 

[DLC]

I’m sorry your going thru this!
Dealing with and trying to understand what’s going on inside someone’s head, trying to figure out why and how could……

I spent a lot of nights thinking about my friend, that’s no longer with us. I just trust his decision ( nothing I can do about it now ) but I talk to him and think of him all the time while driving home from work. It literally took me 6 years to stop thinking I want to call him…..

my Buddy had his own demons he was dealing with and one day he was no longer dealing with them!
really difficult US to figure out

 

[Let It Ride]

Keep your head up Champ, i‘m sorry for your loss.

 

[NicPaus]

The worst part about suicide is the question left in everyone's head. "WHY".

The first funeral I went to was a friend that committed suicide. His parents and sister will have that in there head for life. He had everything. WHY would he do it I couldn't answer. One of my best friends found him. They were roommates at the time. It eventually was part of the reason I feel he left us early as well.

Since covid happened 2 of my River Brothers have took there life's. Hardest part is they both had young kids.

 

[mswasey]

Damn, sorry to hear, that’s gonna be rough for all around him.

 

[Tank]

Hang in there. Losing someone like that is very frustrating and traumatizing. Creates so many questions and sadness and anger. We had a very very very good friend shoot himself in his bathroom one night a few years ago after having a great dinner and some wine with his wife. No note, no signs he was gonna do it. Horrible. I’m still pissed at him for going out like that.

 

[hallett21]

RIP [emoji17]


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[just_floatin]

Sorry for your lost.

My cousin took his own life three years ago. He had a successful marriage, government pension, money in the bank, etc. Shot himself in the head after playing a round of golf in the parking lot. I learned later he was diagnosed with dementia and did not want to burden anyone with having to take care of him. A few months later his heart broken wife passed away too. They had two grown children and three grandchildren.

Suicide causes depression on loves ones left behind, especially when caught off guard. Look for the signs and engage in a conversation if you have the slightest inkling someone is not exactly right. “You good? you sure? something seems off?”

988 Lifeline

At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life’s challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you’re facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns…

suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

[PaPaG]

So sorry for your loss, this is one of the hardest things for us to wrap our minds around. Looks are so deceiving at times. All you can do now is cherish the good times with your friend and pray for his family to heal from this awful and painful situation.

 

[OCMerrill]

So sorry for your loss man. I recently lost a high school buddy and fellow boater to suicide as well. It is definitely tough, especially when they leave behind so many people that cared about them and kids too.......[emoji26][emoji26]

I don't know why people feel that this is even an option. It is so freaking selfish.

If anyone EVER thinks this is the only way, please call me........day, night.....whenever. Even if we have never met or corresponded, I CARE!!

661-993-9192



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They don't view it as selfish, this or I should say their issue(s) appears unescapable. Then the despair manifests over time. I agree they need to share it however if they come to you then get them to a professional and don't let them out of your sight. It is so twisted up the untrained won't even realize the true workings.

 

[lIQUIDATEDdAMAGES]

Sorry for your loss. Suicide is a terrible thing that has affected me and that I’ll never understand. I think I’ve posted this on here somewhere before but I lost two of my cousins to suicide two years apart seven and five years ago.

I grew up in a family of six kids with five younger sisters and these boys were the closest thing I ever had to brothers. We also lived next door to them for ten years so we were really close.

The first one was devastating and the second one I just felt numb. Both boys were extremely smart and had bright roads ahead of them. Good looking and batting girls away too. I don’t understand it and never will. All I can say is mental illness is a thing and sometimes it is where you least expect it.

Keep your friends and family close. You never know what is going to happen.

The best thing I’ve found to move forward is just remember the good memories and build on that. You will never understand it and will drive yourself crazy trying to.

Both boys were buried at sea off Strands in Dana Point as they were lifeguards there. In fact there are plaques on the life guard tower below the Ritz in their honor.

Every time I pass on the boat I pour two beers out in their honor…


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[rmarion]

404

Sorry for his family and your loss.

RIP Boss