7th grade bullying?

[jet496]

So my son just got back from a Moab camping trip with his outdoor education class at school.
Got tormented by a few boys for 3 days.
Usual kid shit. Stealing his hat, sunglasses, pushing him into the mud, shoving dirt/mud/snow down his coat and pants. He told the teacher and the teacher talked with the kids but it continued. 20 kids and 4 adults in the group.
My son is new at the school, in advance classes, str8 a student. Doesn't really care what he wears, is super thin and is a total computer nerd. Teachers love him as he is super polite, smart and respectful.
I don't know what to tell him. I know it's a different time and you can't just throat punch a turd for messing with you but christ.
My old man always told me I would never get in trouble at home for fighting as long as I didn't start it. Never start a fight but always finish it.
I told my boy the same thing. I also told him that he needed to let the teacher know that he would defend himself if it continued.
He's not a tough guy by any means and I feel that it's just going to keep happening if he doesn't stand up for himself. Even if he gets his ass beat he needs to.
Kids will most likely stop if they think he will stand up for himself.

I taught my kid same thing (never start a fight but always finish it & don't let him get back up) & he was being bullied, exact same shit as your son, 8th grade, kicked the kids ass & both got suspended. Video went viral. They made a big deal out of it so I don't know. Maybe have some bigger kids kick those mother fuckers asses after school.

I had the same thing happened with me in 7th grade. My dad taught me how to throw a few punches & we went at it with the whole school watching us. Ended up being good friends since we were neighbors. I was the new kid who just moved from Alabama to Iowa.

And I must say, my son & the bully had to go to a Chaparel school for a week & ended up liking each other.

Maybe get him in a karate or jujitsu school, if he's interested. Just needs to know a little & the adrenalin will do the rest. Just a thought, no advice here. You just never know what's right or wrong.

 

[East Wood]

I have struggled with the same issue with my kids. They have all been bullied a time or two and it boils my blood each time. They are 13, 11, and 6. Much like all of you on here my wife and I value respect, manners, use of gratitude and doing well in school, basically being a good human being.

I was never a tough guy and dealt with typical bullying as well, but I never had the foresight to teach my kids to make the first move. I guess I have always been nervous that they would get hurt, as "wimpy" as that is to admit.

This may fall on deaf ears to them now, but I always try to remind them that these school years don't mean shit when it comes to popularity and "cool kids". I just try to give examples about how most the bullies I knew didnt really amount to shit and 10 years from now they will be succeeding and the bullies will be left in the dust.

unfortunately that doesn't help with the hear and now. I just try and really instill in them to forge their own path and be a leader not a follower.

One thing I know is being a kid today SUCKS DONKEY DICK and I stress more about my kids mental well being than other things in life. Too much fucken pressure on these little ones.

 

[CarolynandBob]

I know what I did for my son probably wasn't the popular way to handle it, but whatever.

When we adopted him from Russia I knew there would be bullying just to test him. I wanted his start in America to be a positive one. In our neighborhood there were a few kids. One down the street was pretty big and looked like he could handle himself. I asked him if I paid him $20 a week would he keep an eye on my son. He said yes and for how long. I told him until I could teach him how to fight. He said he would also teach him how to fight. I said great I will give you $30 a week. He did it for 2 weeks. Then him and my son became friends. Still friends today. My son never started or lost a fight. Kind like my bodyguard movie as that is were I got the idea. My wife would not approve and I still haven't told her or my son. Not sure if his friend ever told him, but my son hasn't said anything to me.

 

[Brokeboatin221]

Didn’t read through all this but read your initial post and it sucks. I was the chubby kid that got picked on until I got tired of getting my ass kicked. I learned to fight back. Martial arts? Why so he can dance at them? What happened to good old fashioned boxing! There’s something to look into. Just tell your son to let it go because one day he will be their boss lol.

 

[Boatymcboatface]

Didn’t read through all this but read your initial post and it sucks. I was the chubby kid that got picked on until I got tired of getting my ass kicked. I learned to fight back. Martial arts? Why so he can dance at them? What happened to good old fashioned boxing! There’s something to look into. Just tell your son to let it go because one day he will be their boss lol.

Good boxing clubs are hard to find and you need to know what to do after your try and punch a wrestler!

I suggest a good MMA gym if you can find one if you haven’t been watching the UFC or any mma org then you’ll still think Akido and crouching tiger type self defense works. Not saying it’s totally ineffective but take a good look at any non mma type gyms most are just dancing and no real self defense fighting.


A good MMA gym isn’t hard to find and will teach you all the different fight styles that can help. As a black belt in BJJ Id say grappling of some form is a must along with good solid striking (kick boxing, boxing, mui Thai) any of those will be good. If you son is into it he will make plenty of friends at the gym then these group bullying type situations won’t be a big deal as hell most likely make friends with people who share his skills.


The one good thing about any grappling type martial art like jiu jitsu or wrestling you get to practice it every day with real live training partners with non of the it will kill you if you use this technique properly type BS that comes from some martial arts forms.

I can’t tell you how many boxing, Akido, Krav Maga type guys that come to one jiu jitsu class and don’t sign up! When I was in Huntington Beach training and a BJJ spot the two Black belt owners at the Krav Maga school up the street were regular weekday mornings students at the bjj school.

I do take all the other classes they we offer But jiu jitsu is the most fun for me and great cardio!

 

[Brokeboatin221]

Good boxing clubs are hard to find and you need to know what to do after your try and punch a wrestler!

I suggest a good MMA gym if you can find one if you haven’t been watching the UFC or any mma org then you’ll still think Akido and crouching tiger type self defense works. Not saying it’s totally ineffective but take a good look at any non mma type gyms most are just dancing and no real self defense fighting.


A good MMA gym isn’t hard to find and will teach you all the different fight styles that can help. As a black belt in BJJ Id say grappling of some form is a must along with good solid striking (kick boxing, boxing, mui Thai) any of those will be good. If you son is into it he will make plenty of friends at the gym then these group bullying type situations won’t be a big deal as hell most likely make friends with people who share his skills.


The one good thing about any grappling type martial art like jiu jitsu or wrestling you get to practice it every day with real live training partners with non of the it will kill you if you use this technique properly type BS that comes from some martial arts forms.

I can’t tell you how many boxing, Akido, Krav Maga type guys that come to one jiu jitsu class and don’t sign up! When I was in Huntington Beach training and a BJJ spot the two Black belt owners at the Krav Maga school up the street were regular weekday mornings students at the bjj school.

I do take all the other classes they we offer But jiu jitsu is the most fun for me and great cardio!

I agree it’s a great mix of all and yes boxing seems to be a dying sport somewhat sadly.

 

[SixD9R]

A lot of good suggestions above.

I would definitely add in a weight lifting regiment, dad can even work out with him which will make it way more fun for both of you. At his age, he will likely be able to build muscle mass quickly which will improve his posture, self-confidence and self-esteem. Once he has those tools down, he won't even need the others because he won't be a target for the bully's anymore.

 

[Bpracing1127]

Buy him a gun and take him to the shooting range

 

[Runs2rch]

Grew up as an anti bully. Always found myself in the principal's office for defending others. Admin never did shit at this private school.

I realized a little later that all of these bully's are just products of a bad home environment/parenting or lack of.

All kids that age have common ground. Video games, TV shows, movies, RC cars/trucks, Girls, follow and play sports. Sometimes it just takes more effort to break the ice so to speak to make bully types realize the kid they are bullying is not so different.

Maybe have these kids over for pizza and play some video games? For some reason kids don't realize they are in the same shit. Being dicks to each other doesn't help when most of the time they end up being friends.

 

[stoker22405]

So talked with him a bit more about it. Apparently it's been going on at school but not as bad.
Grabbing his food at lunch and slamming his locker closed when he opens it. He's been carrying all his books so he doesn't have to stop at his locker any more. I should have known something was up when he was asking about breaking out my old freeweight crap.
He's on board with doing some martial arts training.

If Possible,Try to find 1 on 1 private lessons,

 

[Andy B.]

One kick to the biggest bully’s nuts and that will be the end of it. He may get suspended for a few days, but does that really matter?

And one real hard to the solar plexus!!

 

[boatnam2]

Why it sounds like a great idea to learn to fight, not every kids has the the temperament or what it takes to hurt someone or even just fight. If he has some friends that may know how to scrap some, maybe together they can send a message and bullies move onto someone else.

 

[Your ad here]

Grew up as an anti bully. Always found myself in the principal's office for defending others. Admin never did shit at this private school.

I realized a little later that all of these bully's are just products of a bad home environment/parenting or lack of.

All kids that age have common ground. Video games, TV shows, movies, RC cars/trucks, Girls, follow and play sports. Sometimes it just takes more effort to break the ice so to speak to make bully types realize the kid they are bullying is not so different.

Maybe have these kids over for pizza and play some video games? For some reason kids don't realize they are in the same shit. Being dicks to each other doesn't help when most of the time they end up being friends.

This best explains how to handle fix this. Rather than go through the motions of getting in a fight to understand each other have them over and doing things together they have in common. Maybe one at a time instead of a group? Sometimes just talking about common things will change the thoughts about each other. They just have to open up and get the words out. Seems easier than throwing fist and in the adult world throwing fist really doesn't solve anything.
I had to use this all the time with adults, subcontractors to be specific. I'd get guys that just had a problem with one another... I knew all them well so I knew what common interest they had. Half the time talking about their kids to each other was the ice breaker and they'd be having lunch together 3 days a week afterwards.

 

[Magic Mike]

BJJ is awesome, I love it. It takes a long time to get good though. It is probably the best, combined with some striking training when you have time to become a well rounded martial artist.
I have seen “Bullyproof” type classes for the op’s exact situation that might be perfect.
For a kid trying to not get bullied, néeding to learn to defend himself in a hurry, there might be other options to consider.
Not fighting, talking your way out of it, finding common ground etc. are always the way to go, until they aren’t.

 

[Mike Honcho]

Hate to say it, but there will always be bullies and victims of bullies and your son is the later. I understand the frustration as my youngest is 28 and not the fighter type opposite of me and he went through this and I even saw it at our home once with a kid who was picking on him and pinned him down on the grass and was trying to let his spit drop on him. I was pissed and told him to kick his ass right in front of him and of course he didn't do anything.

Yes, he was in martial arts and pretty good at it but just didn't have the mindset to fight someone he knew. I met with his instructor, and they had a conversation with him with me there and he still refused to fight. That was the point he was removed from MMA and I figured out how to stop it. I told a kid who was older on the high school football team to handle it and he would be rewarded for his help and just like that my kid became off limits for anyone who thought he might be an easy target.

I don't condone this or recommend this but, in our situation, it helped my son and several others that were smaller as they would just threaten to have the older kid come beat his ass and it stopped the BS.

As a parent there is nothing more frustrating than this, watching your kid and feeling helpless I certainly feel your pain and in today's school program there are no easy answers with the new PC way of life.

 

[hman442]

Take charge of this now.

Teach your kid how to punch. Foot stomp. Nut smash with a knee.

Let him hit you as hard as he can while he is learning and correct him so he does not break his wrist or a finger.

Teach him to eye gouge, ear slap, or any of the several things that easily incapacitate other humans almost instantly.

Nothing is fair in a fight, the goal is to hurt the other motherfucker so bad, quickly, that they loose all interest in a "fight" or bullying them and stay far far away from you and are terrified of even crossing your path.

A single week of this for 30 minutes a night, and let him take charge. The first punch will probably prevent anything else, since a well thrown solid hit will TKO almost any kid not involved in a regular high contact sport or contact martial arts.

Even if they are some MMA wannabe, they are taught rules blah blah blah, those incapacitating strikes are illegal, but actually fucking WORK against almost anyone.

They won't even know what hit them.

Sorry to hear your kid is being bullied, I was for many years smaller than other kids and once I hit 7th grade grew 10 inches and gained 80lbs over the summer.

I paid back shit in spades, and became an anti-bully. Literally beating ass of upper classmen occasionally who were dicks.

But that was then, and this is now. Hope your situation works out.

Fuck bullies!

I think this is a great plan, because the bullying is happening now, tomorrow, next week! I think MMA is great, if your son wants to do it, but it would be months, or a year, before he physically and mentally would become able to defend himself from those lessons, meanwhile, every day at school is Hell. SBs plan, if it works for your son, would stop the issue in a few weeks or one month. The mental strain from bullying is pretty real, stop it sooner, than later.
In today's world, a kid will likely get expelled from school, and, if he happens to knock out a tooth, or damage an eye socket, there will possibly be a law suit. Today's world sucks, in these respects, but in my opinion, these things potentially happening, are worth the risk, as opposed to allowing the bullying to continue, for both the physical and mental bruises.
If the "guick course" self defense just really doesn't work with your son, asking around, about the older student, ball player, etc., and offer a payment plan for a determined time frame might be a good plan B.
I think the idea of inviting the bully over, or finding common interests, etc., is a great idea, but likely a fantasy. Remembering back at these derelict bullys in my day, seems like your son wouldn't even be able to communicate with them, as in, he could ask the bully about rc cars, video games, etc., in a safe area, like during class, but likely the bully, especially if any of his cohorts are in class, would likely mimick, make fun, and just verbally bully your son, until class is over and he can physically bully him again.
Going back to the potential lawsuit, wouldn't hurt to check with your insurance guy concerning your liability coverage? Small chance of this ever being an issue, but good to check coverage.

 

[HBCraig]

@endobear
My son was around the same age when he had a bully or 2 mess with him. He was in martial arts as a kid.
In my son's case the boys actually threatened him the day before and told him they would kick his ass the next day at school. I could tell he was a bit worried. What I told him is when they approach you making threats you need to tell him if they lay their hands on you , you will be forced to defend yourself.
It happened and I watched from my truck. They pushed him and pulled him by his backpack. As that happened he turned and punched the kid in the jaw and he went down. Everyone backed off a bit and it was over. He was never messes with again

I wish you and your boy the best of luck

 

[Clearmax]

Self defense is a big deal in my house. My three boys all have wrestled and I have taught them Jiu jitsu since they were young.



My oldest son was a freshman at Glendora High a few years ago. He was pushed into a locker one day at lunch by a kid that weighed around 150. My son wrestled at 106 pounds that year. After school they got into a fight and a few people were recording it on their phones. My son shot in for a double leg takedown and the kid turned his back. My son choked him unconscious with a rear naked choke. When the kid woke up he ran up to my son trying to fight again and was taken down and finished.

The next day the video was on YouTube and went around town. My son got arrested and we had to go to court. The judge looked at everything and said my son was at fault also since he could of left the situation. The judge asked who is paying the fine and I said I was. The judge said shouldn’t the boy pay the fine since he was at fault like the other kid? I said no I will pay it every time.

My son was never bullied again through high school. It took one time for everyone to see he was not going to back down even though he was much smaller than most of the other boys.



To stop the bullies he needs to stand up for himself. He also has to be confident and skilled enough to do it.

 

[rivermobster]

Didn’t read through all this but read your initial post and it sucks. I was the chubby kid that got picked on until I got tired of getting my ass kicked. I learned to fight back. Martial arts? Why so he can dance at them? What happened to good old fashioned boxing! There’s something to look into. Just tell your son to let it go because one day he will be their boss lol.

Nice.

There are a Lot of different styles of martial arts. Some actually are for show! They are impressive to watch, but that's about it.

Some are for compitition only and only ONE was designed from the ground up as self defense street fighting.

My kids Grand Master was Doug Bunda. Doug's brother is Carlos Bunda. Carlos has the destiinction of being one of the very few guys to defeat Chuck Norris in competition. Bruce Lee was the outher guy. Kajukenbo is a Very serious sport.

Now with all that being said...

Grand Master told the kids NEVER pick a fight with a boxer!!! Their hands are too fast. They will hit you five times in the face before you know it. You don't wanna go one on one with a boxer. Ever.

He said the same about Tikwondo fighters as well. The will kick the fuck outa you before you can get near them!

REAL fighters (trained in any fighting style) never get involved in street fights. Not only are they not allowed to by their trainers, they could easily kill someone without really trying to. There would be no positive outcome to be had.

Kajukenbo was designed for bullies. And as many bullies as you want to bring...

KAJUKENBO

Kajukenbo is a hybrid martial art that combines western boxing , judo , jujutsu , kenpo karate , shotokan karate and kung fu . It was fo...

kenpo-kajukenbo.blogspot.com

 

[Mr. C]

A little karma follow up to my post. A few years later I become the for lack of a better word again the bully. Sitting outside a fast food place where they had fire pits with those red granit type rocks. A guy I didn’t like drove by and one my friends bet me I couldn’t hit his truck with a rock. Well… he cruised by again yep I threw a rock at his truck. A couple seconds of silence then. DINK. Haha we all laughed in amazement. Within 30 seconds he was back and in the parking lot pissed. ( rightfully so). Long story short we got into it. He broke my nose. Blood Fn everywhere. I had to submit and bite the bullet and never have been that guy again.
Karma is real. And will catch up to. Just sayin

 

[C-Ya]

1st….. I apologize if what I am about to say has already been covered. I didn’t read all the responses.

There we’re a lot of posts about martial arts classes. This may or may not be beneficial. This just isn’t for everyone and could end up just being another way to feel inferior.

Every kid is generally very good at something. By finding an activity in which the boy excels will certainly speed up the confidence needed among peers.

Just off the top of my head……. Chess Club, Debate Team, Robotics camp, etc. Nothing feels better than being better than your peers……. Just have to find what that is, then accommodate it through peer groups and activities. My 2 cents

 

[RiverDave]

Didn’t read through all this but read your initial post and it sucks. I was the chubby kid that got picked on until I got tired of getting my ass kicked. I learned to fight back. Martial arts? Why so he can dance at them? What happened to good old fashioned boxing! There’s something to look into. Just tell your son to let it go because one day he will be their boss lol.

I think are have a very misguided view of MMA..

 

[buck35]

Self defense is a big deal in my house. My three boys all have wrestled and I have taught them Jiu jitsu since they were young.



My oldest son was a freshman at Glendora High a few years ago. He was pushed into a locker one day at lunch by a kid that weighed around 150. My son wrestled at 106 pounds that year. After school they got into a fight and a few people were recording it on their phones. My son shot in for a double leg takedown and the kid turned his back. My son choked him unconscious with a rear naked choke. When the kid woke up he ran up to my son trying to fight again and was taken down and finished.

The next day the video was on YouTube and went around town. My son got arrested and we had to go to court. The judge looked at everything and said my son was at fault also since he could of left the situation. The judge asked who is paying the fine and I said I was. The judge said shouldn’t the boy pay the fine since he was at fault like the other kid? I said no I will pay it every time.

My son was never bullied again through high school. It took one time for everyone to see he was not going to back down even though he was much smaller than most of the other boys.



To stop the bullies he needs to stand up for himself. He also has to be confident and skilled enough to do it.

Noone messed with the wrestlers in my school . Theres always someone bigger and tougher. On that note he just needs a buddy to have his back.

 

[RiverDave]

Grew up as an anti bully. Always found myself in the principal's office for defending others. Admin never did shit at this private school.

I realized a little later that all of these bully's are just products of a bad home environment/parenting or lack of.

All kids that age have common ground. Video games, TV shows, movies, RC cars/trucks, Girls, follow and play sports. Sometimes it just takes more effort to break the ice so to speak to make bully types realize the kid they are bullying is not so different.

Maybe have these kids over for pizza and play some video games? For some reason kids don't realize they are in the same shit. Being dicks to each other doesn't help when most of the time they end up being friends.

I am curious as how you turn a situation where a small group of kids is pushing a kid around. Taking his hat, slamming his locker and intimidating him..

And turn that into come over for pizza and games?

I’m not being sarcastic or joking in anyway.. I Jist can’t figure how you can turn the tables like that.

If the kid asks them they are gonna laugh. If the dad presents it, possibly even worse..


What would be the play here?

 

[bk2drvr]

If he can get one good surprise hit right to the nose it will likely be over quick.

 

[RiverDave]

Or option 2 lol

Rays approach

 

[RiverDave]

If he can get one good surprise hit right to the nose it will likely be over quick.

Or the throat or solar plexus etc..

Pretty much why I disagree entirely with rivermobster on this subject.. lol

 

[jet496]

A lot of good suggestions above.

I would definitely add in a weight lifting regiment, dad can even work out with him which will make it way more fun for both of you. At his age, he will likely be able to build muscle mass quickly which will improve his posture, self-confidence and self-esteem. Once he has those tools down, he won't even need the others because he won't be a target for the bully's anymore.

Why it sounds like a great idea to learn to fight, not every kids has the the temperament or what it takes to hurt someone or even just fight. If he has some friends that may know how to scrap some, maybe together they can send a message and bullies move onto someone else.

I agree. which is why I like the idea suggested to lift weights. He can bulk up fast. He doesn't have to get obsessively big, just enough. Bullies prey on kids weaker than them.

 

[rivermobster]

Or the throat or solar plexus etc..

Pretty much why I disagree entirely with rivermobster on this subject.. lol

We can agree to disagree.

This is a classic example of my view on why I disagree with Your position though...

 

[CLdrinker]

No none has recommended teaching your kids how yo carry themselves and walk and talk with confidence.

Kids that get bullied are the ones that appear weak. The bullies are looking for the soft target.

All 3 of my kids have enough attitude that will make you think twice.

My little one has a fuck around and find out attitude. At 5 he knows how to put on a mean rear naked choke.

 

[Singleton]

Sometimes standing up to a bully to get them to back-off does not work. My middle step-son was getting bullied in middle school (6th grade by an 8th grader). His dad thought teaching the kid to defend himself would be the solution. Kid got his ass kicked by the bully and the bullying got worse. My wife’s ex threaten the bully and ended up spending a few nights in jail (PD does not like adults threatening kids with violence).

I made it the schools issue (might have threaten a few lawsuits) and when the principle and superintendent had enough of seeing me, things changed. I was showing up at the district office the day after any bullying, forcing a meeting with the principle and superintendent. The bully got moved to the SD County Academy school for at risk children.

100% agree, you can’t fight your kids battles, but you can help behind the screens. I never once showed up at school, everything was done at the district office.

 

[Runs2rch]

I am curious as how you turn a situation where a small group of kids is pushing a kid around. Taking his hat, slamming his locker and intimidating him..

And turn that into come over for pizza and games?

I’m not being sarcastic or joking in anyway.. I Jist can’t figure how you can turn the tables like that.

If the kid asks them they are gonna laugh. If the dad presents it, possibly even worse..


What would be the play here?

Lets say someone has a problem with River Dave. Is it better for you to punch him in the throat or invite him out for a beer? Food and a beer can diffuse a lot haha.

In my post I said most kids that bully it starts at home. Bad parenting, lack of parenting, shit maybe they don't have parents and who knows who is guiding/raising them.

Maybe they do laugh. Then the kid says what you don't like pizza or Madden? Then go from there.

I am all in on kids defending/standing up for themselves, when necessary. Violence isn't always necessary especially with kids.

 

[hman442]

Lets say someone has a problem with River Dave. Is it better for you to punch him in the throat or invite him out for a beer? Food and a beer can diffuse a lot haha.

In my post I said most kids that bully it starts at home. Bad parenting, lack of parenting, shit maybe they don't have parents and who knows who is guiding/raising them.

Maybe they do laugh. Then the kid says what you don't like pizza or Madden? Then go from there.

I am all in on kids defending/standing up for themselves, when necessary. Violence isn't always necessary especially with kids.

Your idea is good on theory. An adult, can suggest to a fellow he's having trouble with that they should grab a beer down the street, and it might work out. But, a bully, in school, with his bully wannabes looking on, isn't even going to consider the victims invitation, of he even listens to the whole thing. In his small mind, it'd look weak to "go to the victims house for pizza". Maybe if you went to his house, and with his mother present, the invitation might be considered, but, the chance of this working out at middle school level, is pretty slim.
The brass knuckles to the bullys Dad put a smile on my face, so I guess I'm warped as well

 

[Runs2rch]

Your idea is good on theory. An adult, can suggest to a fellow he's having trouble with that they should grab a beer down the street, and it might work out. But, a bully, in school, with his bully wannabes looking on, isn't even going to consider the victims invitation, of he even listens to the whole thing. In his small mind, it'd look weak to "go to the victims house for pizza". Maybe if you went to his house, and with his mother present, the invitation might be considered, but, the chance of this working out at middle school level, is pretty slim.
The brass knuckles to the bullys Dad put a smile on my face, so I guess I'm warped as well

Just like in the second True Detective haha. What I'm getting at is there is always a reason kids are shitheads. Need to find out why and then diffuse.

 

[Singleton]

Just like in the second True Detective haha. What I'm getting at is there is always a reason kids are shitheads. Need to find out why and then diffuse.

I get what you are saying.
Most middle school bullies are doing it to get attention.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Every situation is different...the bullied and the bully. Bully could be on an IEP, in one grade level, but physically a year or even two ahead. The one getting bullied may have physical or psychological traits, even a combination, that may preclude them from fighting or bulking up.

Honestly, with all the testosterone and attitude aside, the best fight is the one you're not in. Not the most popular answer, but an answer derived from personal experience.

 

[badluck]

Bjj and boxing. It builds a ton of confidence. Not 1 kid at my daughters school will mess with her. She’s super humble but has taken a few boys including the biggest in the school to the ground. Knee on belly humbles the biggest of bully’s. She’s very decorated. Season champ in 2021. Won pans last yr and finished 2nd this yr. Best thing I’ve ever did for her. Mom hated her doing it at first but now is totally on board.

 

[endobear]

Lots of great advice and stories. Appreciate it.
Right now. He's not a fighter. At all. I was surprised when he came home so pissed off saying he wanted to punch fools.
Kid spent most the entire day today building a Lego helicopter and scene deal for a still motion picture project for his digital design class. Checks his grades daily online. He's that kid and im suoer proud of that. His closest 2 friends don't even go to the same school as him so that makes things tough to.
He's real thin and pretty uncoordinated right now. He and his sister have celiac and are both growth hormone deficit. They are catching up quickly but have always been the little ones. Both have been teased/bullied before.
I've tried some classes but they just weren't into it. I'll try something different. Not alot to choose from in my area though.
I need to work on his confidence and show him a few street fighting/boxing things I can. As said here in other posts, self confidence is key to not getting jacked with.
Him and his sister both said they want to try pushing some weights around.

 

[RiverDave]

We can agree to disagree.

This is a classic example of my view on why I disagree with Your position though...

I could literally post a thousand videos of one hitters..

I’m not standing around waiting for some fuckwad to hit me when they can likely be incapacitated enough where you could just walk away..

I’m not chuck norrris either where I’m blocking shit and all that goes with it. I never took mma or martial arts.. lol.

 

[RiverDave]

Lets say someone has a problem with River Dave. Is it better for you to punch him in the throat or invite him out for a beer? Food and a beer can diffuse a lot haha.

In my post I said most kids that bully it starts at home. Bad parenting, lack of parenting, shit maybe they don't have parents and who knows who is guiding/raising them.

Maybe they do laugh. Then the kid says what you don't like pizza or Madden? Then go from there.

I am all in on kids defending/standing up for themselves, when necessary. Violence isn't always necessary especially with kids.

Amazingly enough given the amount of people I deal with daily.. I don’t really have any issues with anyone to my knowledge..

That said in it high I ended up on the wrong side of a gang.. ended up getting kicked out of school for handling it the way I thought was best. (This was after countless fights, meetings with school staff etc who did nothing).

If ya did what I did nowadays you’d be in jail forever.. the gang used to hang out in the bathroom during lunch etc and smoke weed etc.. I waited till they were all in there and lit a couple of small home made explosives (kinda like m80’s) and one serious smoke bomb and threw them in there then held the door shut. When those poor bastards finally did get out they all looked like they saw the grim reaper. (Well I got kicked out for that and something else.. but that was the main reason, there was another incident off campus)

That school was straight out of “welcome to the jungle” though. Two years before I got there their claim to fame was it had the highest pregnancy rate in the USA. My first day on campus a kid got jumped right in front of my locker and it was bad bad. He never came back to school. I got stories for days about what a shit hole that place was.

Best thing that ever happened to me though. Went from the ghetto to a private school to Carlsbad high.. lol went from gangland San Marcos at the time to bleach blondes and surfers.

 

[SBMech]

Lots of great advice and stories. Appreciate it.
Right now. He's not a fighter. At all. I was surprised when he came home so pissed off saying he wanted to punch fools.
Kid spent most the entire day today building a Lego helicopter and scene deal for a still motion picture project for his digital design class. Checks his grades daily online. He's that kid and im suoer proud of that. His closest 2 friends don't even go to the same school as him so that makes things tough to.
He's real thin and pretty uncoordinated right now. He and his sister have celiac and are both growth hormone deficit. They are catching up quickly but have always been the little ones. Both have been teased/bullied before.
I've tried some classes but they just weren't into it. I'll try something different. Not alot to choose from in my area though.
I need to work on his confidence and show him a few street fighting/boxing things I can. As said here in other posts, self confidence is key to not getting jacked with.
Him and his sister both said they want to try pushing some weights around.

The thing I always worry about is the mental pressure it puts on you as a kid.

It was fucking BRUTAL for me personally, I was a pretty easy going kid, until I needed to grow up and face the fact that other kids are fuckheads and ENJOY making me cry, feel shitty and weak.

THEY GET OFF ON IT. BULLIES ARE SHIT STAINS.

I don't give a fuck about WHY they are that way, shitty parenting, missing Dad, NONE OF THAT SHIT IS MY FAULT. WHY ARE YOU PICKING ON ME!

Feed your kid's rage. Teach them to use it to focus and drive them, even if it's not to fight, it gives anyone power to control themselves and channel negativity into something constructive.

At the very least, get them to talk to you about what they are feeling, and help them sort it out as best as you can. All you can do is try your best, no one ever really fails or looses if they go all in.

The worst fights I ever lost, when I was demoralized and beaten down, at least gave me my pride.

Action in the face of fear is what hero's are made of. It can save lives through first aid training, and so many other things. Fear is normal, it's what is supposed to keep you alive.

 

[LHC Kirby]

I was picked on occasionally 7th grade... UNTIL. . . one day I had enough, and the dude had long hair. Well, my dad told me and may or may not have used it on me a couple of times. "Where the hair goes the body follows" Dude went to hit me, I ducked, came up grabbed his hair did a couple 360 and flung him to the ground. When someone else from that day and into high school would pick on me - I stood there and waited.... 100% of the time, someone would say don't mess with him "He fights like a girl - pulls hair and stuff" END OF STORY.... I was not picked on often at all.

I suggest hitting the weights with your son and daughter - GREAT Dad time. Have them practice a few defense moves, maybe introduce something every other week. KEEP IT FUN, have his two friends you mentioned come over and have a group session. You may be surprised with the talk that goes on.

 

[Dan Lorenze]

I think it's sad to think about a 7th grader getting bullied. Because this was me... After elementary school things really change when you jump up to Jr High. I was short and chubby in School and I got picked on constantly. But the bullies were big stoner dudes, no way I could take them on and honestly I didn't have it in me to learn how to fight, I wanted nothing to do with it. There is a time and place to stand up to bullies but not every kid is the same and up to the challenge, I wasn't.. I wanted to play my music and be left alone. I think the worst thing that can happen is that a youngster getting picked on feels alone, Jr High for me was a nightmare, I ran scared the whole time, I got picked on and girls wanted nothing to do with me, I took it real personal. What a terrible time in my life. The School has to know what's going on, parents need to know what's going on.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Jr High is the most toxic, messed up environment known. I worked at a lot of schools in the LA area. Elementary kids are the same. Colors may change, but pretty much, kids are kids. High schools, the problem kids didn't bother showing up. The kids that did tended to be ok. Now, middle school...they were just afraid enough of their parents or family to still show up. They spent their time trying to get street cred and respect. Some evil little fuktards.

 

[jailbird141]

That was true when we were in school, but now there are cameras everywhere that will prove your kid wrong. Throwing the first punch equals assault and battery, defending yourself from the first punch equals self defense.

Your statement is not correct. You do not have to be a victim before you can legally defend yourself.

 

[460 2.0]

Sorry to read this. I’ve given my kids the green light to “rage” if kids mess with them anymore. They are directed to give the kids a chance via words and if that doesn’t stop if, punch them in the nose. Few weeks back my son got called to the principles office cause he told a kid he was going to fuck him up if he didn’t stop messing with them. He got called to the with the others and unfortunately got recess taken away as well. That’s the shitty part these days, the kids defending themselves get in trouble as well. Kid got ice cream that night for doing the right thing and defending himself and having his friends back.

 

[COCA COLA COWBOY]

I am going through this as well with my 10 year old as we just changed schools and my son is half Mexican. However, it's the ghetto Mexican kids that cause the issues....he was literally being called a beaner by ghetto kids that live in apartments and wear the same clothes every day. My son is very aggressive though. He had four kids that were picking on him last week that threw his hat over a fence. He jumped the fence, got his hat came back and got in their face. I showed him a move from Krav Maga where you grab the shirt of a combatant and choke the person out....he got it wrong and ripped the kids sweater splitting it down the front and punched another kid. In the end, he got in trouble because he put hands on them first. Fortunately, I always told my son you always take the first punch and never stop until someone drags you off of them. A day in the principals office with the other kids and he is getting along with them and playing basketball with them.

Honestly, I'm F'n over schools in California now. My son says there are gay kids everywhere now in the 5th grade. They literally act homosexual and throw kisses and stuff. I talked to a couple other parents in other areas that have said kids have rainbow hair and wear tails in middle school. I truly think they are pushing this stuff for population control.

I will say though, Krav Maga is the best for kids that will probably be squaring off with multiple opponents. It works well and you should do it with him. You'll love it.

 

[dribble]

Went through this with my step son when he was in the eighth grade. One kid in particular making fun of his weight, knocking his books out of his hands etc. He continually came home whining about it. We didn’t contact the school. We sat him down and told him that he was the only one who could fix it for good. I said you’re just going to have to fight the guy win or lose, it will change. Just don’t give up and make sure you hurt him. I came home a few days later to him holding a steak over his black eye and totally proud of himself because he won the fight in front of everyone. Everything changed for him after that. He never got picked on again and he became one of the cool kids. Ended up playing varsity football in high school. Something he never would have even tried otherwise. Sometimes a boy just has to fight.

 

[welldigger00]

The over all common concept to deal with bullying that everyone keeps bringing up is as old as time itself. It transcends all races, genders, timelines, species, and possibly aliens as well. At some point, you have to decide if you want to live this way or not. Regardless of the outcome, it has to come from within the individual on their own terms or time line. If you remove them from the situation, they never learn that most valuable lesson, and it can quite possible come back in any of a number of ways down the line. Not only do I share similar stories myself of getting bullied, my kids, like everyone else’s kids did too. My son has Tourette’s syndrome, and it came on in junior high fairly severely, both verbal and physical ticks. As all of you know, the school does jack shit about it, and if he was to tattle, the retaliation is so much worse. Of course the other option was removing him from school. At one point he’d had enough, and decked a kid in the middle of math class. Ironically enough, his math teacher had Tourette’s as well, as saw the whole thing play out. He couldn’t have been more proud of my son, and went to bat for him with the principal, and the bully Was suspended for it! He got a rep from then on for being the shoot first ask questions later kid when it came to his affliction.

 

[Tamalewagon]

My youngest son faced some bullying issues due to his facial deformities he was born with (cleft palate). He's got pretty thick skin but I could tell it bothered him. My wife wrestled with the idea of getting involved but he insisted that he take care of it himself. Time went on and he joined the wrestling team in 9th grade. Next go around the fight went right to the ground in a submission hold and the fight was over and so was the bullying. Bully's will continue to be bully's until they get their ass handed to them. Issue usually stems for parents who are bully's too.