Defg926
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July 1st 1987 was the last day I would ever see my dad! Seventeen days before that I was just coming off a very long night of doing very bad things. At this time in my life I was very much into drugs! Not a proud moment and certainly not a easy moment to talk about. From the age of 14 till about right around when I met my wife (18) I did every thing that didn't involve a needle (still to this day I can't stand giving blood, yet tattoo's don't bother me a bit) I had been where I pretty much spent every second of my life since we moved to Escondido 3 years earlier....At my good friend Karen's house. We had what was basically all the teenagers from Kenwood Apts. hanging there on a regular basis. Her mom was never home and we had free reign of the house. This would be the same house I would lose my Virginity in. And no not to Karen (but yes I did eventually sleep with her to) that honor went to her best friend Sheila. (but that will be another blog at another time)
We had been partying all night I went home to get something or change or shower or finally sleep I can't remember which or possibly it was all of the above. My mom was in Orange County visiting family which she did a lot... When the phone rang! One of the worst conversations I have ever had in my life. On the other end was a highway patrol officer who was telling me my dad had been in a very bad accident and was being rushed to Sharp Emergency Hospital and that I better get there immediately. He asked if I could get a hold of my mom since they were unable to. I tried but to no avail. I jumped into my beater of a car and I sped off to the hospital literally doing 100mph on the soft shoulder all the way. It was a beater of a car in looks but one of the faster Datsun 510's in Esco (very popular little club race car in the day)
I arrived at the hospital and ran in looking for my Dad... A doctor came out and talked to me and told me he would take me back to see him In a minute but that he had lost a lot of blood and was I the same blood type...Which I was! The Doctor said great lets draw blood and make sure and then will go from there. At that moment it hit me... I can't give blood.. I just literally got done partying all night doing things that were 100% sure still in my system! I began to cry, this is by far one of the all time lows of my life hands down! I will live with this regret for a lifetime and when I do finally see my dad again I will apologize profusely. I would later after seeing my dad go into the hospital chapel and pray to God and tell him if he let my dad live I would never again in my life do drugs!! It took until several months of this promise but I held true to this agreement I made with God.(except weed, I refuse to lie on here this is my therapy) Sadly God didn't hold up his part. But then again it was his will and not mine to question.
The doctor had a nurse take me back to see my dad who was actually awake and coherent. He looked horrible road rash every where cuts, blood, tubes, you name it he had it going on. He looked at me and all he said was "Don't tell your mom" I couldn't believe it...Here he was practically dead and all he could think of was how upset my mom would be that he was hurt. Soon after the doctor came in to tell me what happen. Turns out we will never know the whole truth about that day but it has been pieced together bit by bit. It seems that luck have it he was on the freeway and some teenagers behind him had a video camera and had noticed a tow truck starting to swerve so they quickly pulled out there video camera and began to record. My dad was in the fast lane and swerved across all lanes of traffic to get off the freeway then blew through the stop sign or signal on the off ramp only to jump back on the freeway and cross all lanes off traffic and hit the median and flipped the truck rolling it 5-6 times. From the video tape, the doctors and the private investigator we would later hire here is what was determined.
The previous night my dad must of had a minor heart attack. Which now I know is fact. I was with him earlier in the night before I went off to party. As I mentioned he was a tow truck driver. It was all the work he could find at this time. He would help manage my moms company during the day and drive at night. He had asked me if I wanted to go with him and I said sure. Something I did a lot as a kid but hadn't did in a very long time and certainly not as a teenager. We went out and did a couple of tows and then we had a bad CHP call with a vehicle in a accident. We went up a grade (maybe valley center I'm not sure) and hooked up this car and as we were driving home I could see he was hurting. He just looked pale and was having difficulty breathing. The vehicle we were towing got two flat tires and as he pulled over I told him " don't worry pop I got this" and jumped out and changed both tires while he stayed in the truck. This alone shows how bad he must of been feeling because my dad was one of the hardest workers I ever saw and no way would he of let his son change those tires on the side of the road with out supervising! As I got back in the truck he told me he loved me and gave me a hug and we drove off. I believe the reason for this night was God letting us have a final Father/Son moment. we got home he went inside I went off to party. At the time I didn't think anything of it. My dad was not a person to go to the doctor or really show he was in pain. I figured he was just tired.
Turns out it was a minor heart attack. For some reason he picked up a day shift and was on his way back to the shop when he had a another heart attack I'm sure knowing my dad he tried to get off the freeway so he didn't hurt anyone. As he got off the freeway he realized at the top of the off ramp the brakes had went out on the truck. He blew through the intersection got back on the freeway, crossed all traffic and tried to slow the vehicle down by using the median. once the truck flipped or came to a stop he had a stroke. Again later at the hospital he would have another one. It would take my mom a day to be tracked down and she finally arrived at the hospital. My dad was awake and able to tell her "he was okay" then he slipped into a coma which he was unable to come out of. 17 days later we would be asked to pull the plug.I feel lucky I was able to spend one last good night with my dad, that I was the first one to the hospital, and that I got to tell him I loved him...
We had his funeral and my girlfriend at the time (my first) was unable to attend being the busy 17 year old girl she was, but our good friend Karen went with me. I will for ever hold her dear to my heart as the girl that was truly there for me when no one else was. Who knows why she went maybe it was her morbid interest in death ( she later would go into the mortuary business) or the fact that she was just a good friend and saw I needed somebody. Either way I love her dearly for it.
We would later hire a private investigator to try to find out what happen. It seems the company he worked for was uninsured and had immediately took the truck to mexico so it couldn't be investigated. We ended up suing uninsured workers compensation and 5 years later my mom and I received a whopping $20k a piece.
Worse part of all of this is the teenagers that video taped his accident later gave the tape to channel 10 news who had a commercial that said "If anybody video tapes something news worthy please send it in to us like these kids did" and then they would play the tape of my dads accident. It aired basically once or twice a hour everyday for several years!! Nothing like having to watch your dad die over and over again. To this day I really never watch channel 10.
GOD BLESS and thanks for reading! This one was not easy to write and to those that have lost a parent I'm sorry if this touched home but I hope maybe it can also help or at least make you take a second to remember your loved one as I am sure like me you do every day!!
www.defg926.com
We had been partying all night I went home to get something or change or shower or finally sleep I can't remember which or possibly it was all of the above. My mom was in Orange County visiting family which she did a lot... When the phone rang! One of the worst conversations I have ever had in my life. On the other end was a highway patrol officer who was telling me my dad had been in a very bad accident and was being rushed to Sharp Emergency Hospital and that I better get there immediately. He asked if I could get a hold of my mom since they were unable to. I tried but to no avail. I jumped into my beater of a car and I sped off to the hospital literally doing 100mph on the soft shoulder all the way. It was a beater of a car in looks but one of the faster Datsun 510's in Esco (very popular little club race car in the day)
I arrived at the hospital and ran in looking for my Dad... A doctor came out and talked to me and told me he would take me back to see him In a minute but that he had lost a lot of blood and was I the same blood type...Which I was! The Doctor said great lets draw blood and make sure and then will go from there. At that moment it hit me... I can't give blood.. I just literally got done partying all night doing things that were 100% sure still in my system! I began to cry, this is by far one of the all time lows of my life hands down! I will live with this regret for a lifetime and when I do finally see my dad again I will apologize profusely. I would later after seeing my dad go into the hospital chapel and pray to God and tell him if he let my dad live I would never again in my life do drugs!! It took until several months of this promise but I held true to this agreement I made with God.(except weed, I refuse to lie on here this is my therapy) Sadly God didn't hold up his part. But then again it was his will and not mine to question.
The doctor had a nurse take me back to see my dad who was actually awake and coherent. He looked horrible road rash every where cuts, blood, tubes, you name it he had it going on. He looked at me and all he said was "Don't tell your mom" I couldn't believe it...Here he was practically dead and all he could think of was how upset my mom would be that he was hurt. Soon after the doctor came in to tell me what happen. Turns out we will never know the whole truth about that day but it has been pieced together bit by bit. It seems that luck have it he was on the freeway and some teenagers behind him had a video camera and had noticed a tow truck starting to swerve so they quickly pulled out there video camera and began to record. My dad was in the fast lane and swerved across all lanes of traffic to get off the freeway then blew through the stop sign or signal on the off ramp only to jump back on the freeway and cross all lanes off traffic and hit the median and flipped the truck rolling it 5-6 times. From the video tape, the doctors and the private investigator we would later hire here is what was determined.
The previous night my dad must of had a minor heart attack. Which now I know is fact. I was with him earlier in the night before I went off to party. As I mentioned he was a tow truck driver. It was all the work he could find at this time. He would help manage my moms company during the day and drive at night. He had asked me if I wanted to go with him and I said sure. Something I did a lot as a kid but hadn't did in a very long time and certainly not as a teenager. We went out and did a couple of tows and then we had a bad CHP call with a vehicle in a accident. We went up a grade (maybe valley center I'm not sure) and hooked up this car and as we were driving home I could see he was hurting. He just looked pale and was having difficulty breathing. The vehicle we were towing got two flat tires and as he pulled over I told him " don't worry pop I got this" and jumped out and changed both tires while he stayed in the truck. This alone shows how bad he must of been feeling because my dad was one of the hardest workers I ever saw and no way would he of let his son change those tires on the side of the road with out supervising! As I got back in the truck he told me he loved me and gave me a hug and we drove off. I believe the reason for this night was God letting us have a final Father/Son moment. we got home he went inside I went off to party. At the time I didn't think anything of it. My dad was not a person to go to the doctor or really show he was in pain. I figured he was just tired.
Turns out it was a minor heart attack. For some reason he picked up a day shift and was on his way back to the shop when he had a another heart attack I'm sure knowing my dad he tried to get off the freeway so he didn't hurt anyone. As he got off the freeway he realized at the top of the off ramp the brakes had went out on the truck. He blew through the intersection got back on the freeway, crossed all traffic and tried to slow the vehicle down by using the median. once the truck flipped or came to a stop he had a stroke. Again later at the hospital he would have another one. It would take my mom a day to be tracked down and she finally arrived at the hospital. My dad was awake and able to tell her "he was okay" then he slipped into a coma which he was unable to come out of. 17 days later we would be asked to pull the plug.I feel lucky I was able to spend one last good night with my dad, that I was the first one to the hospital, and that I got to tell him I loved him...
We had his funeral and my girlfriend at the time (my first) was unable to attend being the busy 17 year old girl she was, but our good friend Karen went with me. I will for ever hold her dear to my heart as the girl that was truly there for me when no one else was. Who knows why she went maybe it was her morbid interest in death ( she later would go into the mortuary business) or the fact that she was just a good friend and saw I needed somebody. Either way I love her dearly for it.
We would later hire a private investigator to try to find out what happen. It seems the company he worked for was uninsured and had immediately took the truck to mexico so it couldn't be investigated. We ended up suing uninsured workers compensation and 5 years later my mom and I received a whopping $20k a piece.
Worse part of all of this is the teenagers that video taped his accident later gave the tape to channel 10 news who had a commercial that said "If anybody video tapes something news worthy please send it in to us like these kids did" and then they would play the tape of my dads accident. It aired basically once or twice a hour everyday for several years!! Nothing like having to watch your dad die over and over again. To this day I really never watch channel 10.
GOD BLESS and thanks for reading! This one was not easy to write and to those that have lost a parent I'm sorry if this touched home but I hope maybe it can also help or at least make you take a second to remember your loved one as I am sure like me you do every day!!
www.defg926.com
