Parenting/what would u do question

[McRib]

I have to boys doucher and shitbird. (John and David). I have a prob happening and it's pretty serious. I will fill u in with some details not all.

Doucher fucked up pretty bad last week to the tune of a possible misdemeanor. A graphic prank call was made to a teacher and the idiots involved all got caught and they all rolled over on doucher. Police were called small investigation done and a citation issued to doucher to appear in court in July. IMO this should have never gotten this far but it did. The victim could have talked to me but choose not to. She is a teacher and is going to ruin my sons juvi record for IMO is just a BS child prank. Any how the day this happened I came home and went fuggen bananas on him. I'm talking I prob could have gone to jail . I have stripped him of everything on top of the ass whoopin. This mother effer is on fuggen lock down. I even wore his ass out marine corps boot camp style for 3 hrs. He may have lost 10 lbs that day.

Here is the delima. His 16th b day is this Sunday. We told him he deserves nothing and is gettin nothin. Prob just a cake and an insincere happy bday song sung to him. Me and norma are friggin pissed and have every intention of sticking to our guns on this. U only turn 16 once and it supposed to be special but he is so undeserving of n e thing right now.

How would u deal with this situation??

 

[Polo]

I have to boys doucher and shitbird. (John and David). I have a prob happening and it's pretty serious. I will fill u in with some details not all.

Doucher fucked up pretty bad last week to the tune of a possible misdemeanor. A graphic prank call was made to a teacher and the idiots involved all got caught and they all rolled over on doucher. Police were called small investigation done and a citation issued to doucher to appear in court in July. IMO this should have never gotten this far but it did. The victim could have talked to me but choose not to. She is a teacher and is going to ruin my sons juvi record for IMO is just a BS child prank. Any how the day this happened I came home and went fuggen bananas on him. I'm talking I prob could have gone to jail . I have stripped him of everything on top of the ass whoopin. This mother effer is on fuggen lock down. I even wore his ass out marine corps boot camp style for 3 hrs. He may have lost 10 lbs that day.

Here is the delima. His 16th b day is this Sunday. We told him he deserves nothing and is gettin nothin. Prob just a cake and an insincere happy bday song sung to him. Me and norma are friggin pissed and have every intention of sticking to our guns on this. U only turn 16 once and it supposed to be special but he is so undeserving of n e thing right now.

How would u deal with this situation??

Feeling your pain!!!!!!!Sounds like you did a good job already. A good can of kick azz. Hopefully they will dismiss the charges. Good Luck

 

[McRib]

Feeling your pain!!!!!!!Sounds like you did a good job already. A good can of kick azz. Hopefully they will dismiss the charges. Good Luck

Dismissal prob not an option. He has never been in n e kind of trouble like this ever. We have that in our favor. I'd be happy with an reduction to an infraction and some community service or somethin like that

 

[GRADS2009]

I would keep him on lockdown leading up to his birthday, give him a nice birthday and lockdown his ass again the next morning. But then again, this is all for a prank call? I'd probably buy him a twelve pack on his birthday and shake his hand.

 

[RiverDave]

I have to boys doucher and shitbird. (John and David). I have a prob happening and it's pretty serious. I will fill u in with some details not all.

Doucher fucked up pretty bad last week to the tune of a possible misdemeanor. A graphic prank call was made to a teacher and the idiots involved all got caught and they all rolled over on doucher. Police were called small investigation done and a citation issued to doucher to appear in court in July. IMO this should have never gotten this far but it did. The victim could have talked to me but choose not to. She is a teacher and is going to ruin my sons juvi record for IMO is just a BS child prank. Any how the day this happened I came home and went fuggen bananas on him. I'm talking I prob could have gone to jail . I have stripped him of everything on top of the ass whoopin. This mother effer is on fuggen lock down. I even wore his ass out marine corps boot camp style for 3 hrs. He may have lost 10 lbs that day.

Here is the delima. His 16th b day is this Sunday. We told him he deserves nothing and is gettin nothin. Prob just a cake and an insincere happy bday song sung to him. Me and norma are friggin pissed and have every intention of sticking to our guns on this. U only turn 16 once and it supposed to be special but he is so undeserving of n e thing right now.

How would u deal with this situation??

All that for a f'n prank call? What did he say he was gonna kill her or something?

If we're talking some heavy breathing, and pull your hair shit.. I'd laugh and make him mow the lawn..

misdimeanor for a phone call? Is that even possible?

RD

 

[Sleek Freak]

we are living in a different world now days. when I was 16 a teacher would have graded our prank call. but we never took shots at them or slept with em either. its good to hear parents that care about the kids. keep on him he will thank you later.

 

[McRib]

I would keep him on lockdown leading up to his birthday, give him a nice birthday and lockdown his ass again the next morning. But then again, this is all for a prank call? I'd probably buy him a twelve pack on his birthday and shake his hand.

All that for a f'n prank call? What did he say he was gonna kill her or something?

If we're talking some heavy breathing, and pull your hair shit.. I'd laugh and make him mow the lawn..

misdimeanor for a phone call? Is that even possible?

RD

Prank call was obscene and sexual in nature I read transcript of the 3 voicemails that were left. I laughed at it cause it was so incoherent and sounded like a 4 year old left the messages. IMO it was petty and needed to not go this route. She is a timid Christan woman and IMO is making a mountain out of a mole hill. Never the less the wheels of "justice" r spinin and I get an involuntary front row seat.

According to the officer who wrote the citation the severity is punishable by up to a year I juvi but won't go that way cause that's not the answer. Rehabilitation is the goal. I've already rehabilitated his dumb ass. So I guess we will see

 

[AEA]

You are trying to play this off like the teacher is wrong. Not so, it's the boys who screwed up. I think you are correct in hoping for some community service.

 

[squirtnmyload]

geez i'd be doin life in prison if people got butt hurt back then as bad as they do now. frank rizzo was my middle name in jr high.

[video=youtube;dcLFog9Ajj0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcLFog9Ajj0[/video]

[video=youtube;SI9QhliWLbI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SI9QhliWLbI&feature=related[/video]

 

[GRADS2009]

Can I get the teachers digits? I'd like to leave her a nice little message.

 

[Carlson-jet]

I was a bad seed as a teen. I wouldn't have bothered with something that trivial. Your kid seems like a parents wet dream if this is the worst shit he pulls...

As far as the birthday, it sounds like he already has a long road of justice ahead of him. Part of parenting is accepting mistakes that are made.

On a side note... I would explain to him that if you're going to do bad shit.... Don't get caught.

Good luck in all this.

 

[C-2]

You are trying to play this off like the teacher is wrong. Not so, it's the boys who screwed up. I think you are correct in hoping for some community service.

I agree with this too.

Prank calling a teacher shows an enormous amount of disrespect. No teacher should have to endure a call like that; especially at a time when morale is low and anxiety high for most teachers in our troubled school system.

If it were me, I would also march his azz down to the school and make him personally apologize to the teacher, and offer up his services as her new biatch boy too.

Community service? Yes, there's some of that coming too.

I think you're on the right track for his 16th birthday - he will always remember it. :thumbsup

 

[Joker]

Sounds to me like ur trying to b a good parent. He's gotta get used to hating birthdays sooner or later. Might as well b now.

 

[River Roy]

I would buy him a car (or w/e he really wants), He would not know about it till his B-Day night and keep his punishment going up to and after that night and not let him drive it till this current trouble is all over and he has to keep his ass clean or he's not aloud to touch the car but a 16 b/d is a really big day of his life and I have to agree with others by down playing this seems disrespectful to the teacher, Kid needs to learn to respect elders and authorities or it will get worse. RR

 

[500bbc]

Sounds like he may have some pent up emotions.

Get him a hooker.

 

[MMD]

Buy him a lawyer for his birthday so this thing is minimized in court and on his record while you deal with it at home.

 

[speeddmn]

I would kick his ass then let him have his b-day. Think of all the shit you did when you were 16. Prank call is petty. If he is staying off drugs and doing good in school that is a great accomplishment in itself.

 

[TPC]

Calls are taken so much more serious today.

He scewed up, and it probably bothers him more that he's got under your and the wifes skin than you realize.

He has to just hang it the F up,, and stand the F by and take what comes.

I wouldn't soft soap it all by hoping he gets off easy and letting him know you feel that way.

If it's his first time in the system they will go easy, and I'm sure the embarrassment juices this whole incident up another 100%.

Our kids were always under the impression you pull the cats tail,, you get the claws and fangs. And they do.

Armchair parenting advise is worth what ya pay for it.

 

[whiteworks]

First things first, you should teach the kid how to make an obscene phone call and not get caught then you wouldnt have to deal with this shit

 

[McRib]

You are trying to play this off like the teacher is wrong. Not so, it's the boys who screwed up. I think you are correct in hoping for some community service.

U r absolutly wrong in ur assumption. I'm not playing n e thing off and directing blame else where. My son knows he fucked up and he knows he has to pay the price. I just never expected the teacher to take it this far. She is perfectly with in her rights but I would have never taken it this far. I'd have had a meeting with the parents and the kid and tried to squash it that way. We have offered the teacher apologies with no response. She wants nothing to do with it. We r dealing with an over sensitive woman I meet her and apologized for my sons actions as soon as I began to talk her eyes glased over and she looked like she thought I was gonna beat her or sumthin. I knew right then and there that this was going to be a rough road.

 

[Motor Boater]

Wow, you guys are softies. If it were me his 16th Birthday and any presents associated with it would be gone with the wind. I know it was only a prank but it was to a teacher and we live in a different world. In 2 years he will be an adult and in the real world. In the real world you dont get time off your punishements for birthday celebreations and lavish gift receiving. Sounds like you are on the right track, just stay the course and follow through.

 

[TPC]

Community service can be shoveling horse shit at the police stables.
The LE0s are always accommodating to have kids working off paperwork time there and will sign off their hours.

Wet Horse farts leave a lasting impression.

 

[McRib]

Armchair parenting advise is worth what ya pay for it.

the beat part about armchair parenting is that I don't have to listen to n e of it. For the most part my kids have been raised to think if it's wrong they will get caught. I've done pretty good. Sent my kids to the movies with there friends the friends wanted to sneak into a diff movie and my kids called us to come pick them up cause they did not want to get in trouble. I was impressed when they did that. He had a brain fart and it stinks bad. They know what's right from wrong I just need to get the follower mentality out of my oldest. This mentality is what gets him in trouble every time

 

[Outdrive1]

Here is the delima. His 16th b day is this Sunday. We told him he deserves nothing and is gettin nothin. Prob just a cake and an insincere happy bday song sung to him. Me and norma are friggin pissed and have every intention of sticking to our guns on this. U only turn 16 once and it supposed to be special but he is so undeserving of n e thing right now.

How would u deal with this situation??

He's only 16 once. I would celebrate his birthday. Doesn't mean you have to buy him an elaborate gift.

I would come up with a punishment separate from his birthday, sit him down and explain it to him and then stick to it.

 

[McRib]

He's only 16 once. I would celebrate his birthday. Doesn't mean you have to buy him an elaborate gift.

I would come up with a punishment separate from his birthday, sit him down and explain it to him and then stick to it.

This is the route were thinking Paul. 16 is supposed to be a milestone with good rememberance. It's just not gonna be like we had originally planed.

 

[kgt]

hmm...16 once.....yes......chance to learn a lesson that MAY last a lifetime and help him be a better man, i would have a simple birthday, it is 16, sit him down and give him a timeline to turn things around, at the end of that timeline if things are good, then give him his "real" present.....

 

[Go-Fly]

Don't let him take away your day when your son turns 16. You did nothing wrong. Have family and friends over for a big blow out. Take lots of pics for the family album and have a good time. You can hold all the money and presents until you fell the time is right for your son to have them. Your house, your rules, your standards. You can't go back in time. IMO:thumbsup

 

[Mr. C]

Seems like it has gone way to far to me. I mean shit they are kids and kids do stupid things. Live and learn and don't make the same ones twice.

And yes my son 14 has done stupid stuff, lets just say he spent 5 hours being questioned by the police at school (and NO we were not notified of this). Luckily no charges for us!! He, as i am sure your son has realized they can't be kids and do the pranks we did. My son took his lumps and we have moved forward. You can't really control what the system is going to do but you and your wife can forgive and move on. He knows he was wrong and I'm sure won't be doing anything like it again.

Some comments seem to suggest it is worse because he did it to a teacher, what puts her above a receptionist or a make up lady at Macy's?

 

[Tom Brown]

He's 15 and the teacher is obviously hot. Try to find a stroke mag with someone similar looking to his teacher. That might ease his stress a bit.

I should probably mention I'm not a parent.

 

[Havaduner]

I would keep the b day plans going. Keep the kid on lock down, till it's party time, then let him (and you and the rest of the family enjoy the day) then, back to lock down with another long talk about what he did, and his punishment. I know both your kids are good, and I know you are proud of them, so dont let him think you hate him for this one bad act.

 

[McRib]

He's 15 and the teacher is obviously hot. Try to find a stroke mag with someone similar looking to his teacher. That might ease his stress a bit.

I should probably mention I'm not a parent.

We can always count on Tom for the right answers . Lmao

 

[icecreaman]

Sometimes the hardest part of being a dad is knowing when to soften your stance. You've made it perfectly clear to him what he did was unacceptable. I'd be willing to bet he feels much worse about hurting you and mom than the idea of maybe having to pick up some trash on a saturday. 16 is big, put your arm around him, kiss him on the check, let him know there's consiquences still to be payed, but you'll be there with him. Your punishment has been doled out, sounds like he took it like a man, so now you can let the anger go and be dad. Mine are 21 & 23 and just like the rest of life I've learned the tuff lesson... there are no "do overs " with your kids. Good luck.

 

[B---S---]

Im not bagging on the teacher BUT !!! let's ask our self's a ?? here . WHY DIDENT SHE JUST HANG UP !!!! at the first indication of a prank call. it seems to me a someone who deals with kids all day would know how to ignore that shit

 

[TPC]

We can always count on Tom for the right answers . Lmao

Tom will sign off his community service hours.
I'd wager Brown would have him changing the tires on his and his neighbors house.

 

[Lavey5150]

Just because the kid fucked up doesn't mean you should be misrepresenting the supposed happiest day of your life, the day your child was born. I'm biased as I have my 1st coming in 6 months. Celebrate the Bday, the birthday wasn't the issue, the other thing was, whatever it was..........just my .02

 

[Riverbound]

you said it yourself, he is a good kid and up to this point has kept his nose clean. make sure he knows the consequences of his actions and make him be involved in all court procedings so he learns how little things will drastically affect him once he turns 18 and is an adult. IMO opinion a prank call that was taken wrong should not be grounds for legal action. When we got caught for doing stupid stuff in HS our teachers would repot us to the football Coach and he would run our ass off in practice even on the off season if the football players got caught doing somethign stupid coach would run our asses off. How times have changed.

My sister is going through a similar situation right now in which she had my nephwe pick up his sisters homework since she was home sick. My nephew is 10yrs old and decided to take this opportunity and tell the teacher that he felt she was not doing her job due to the fact that she lets the other kids pick on his sister and he was wondering what she was going to do to improve her performance (he even worded it this way...LOL). long story short, The teacher went balistic and my sister has been in multiple meetings now with the school board and the teacher is demanding a public apology from my nephew. The funny thing is my nephew had this conversation one on one with the teacher not in front of anyone else. He has already apologized to her but the teacher wants to push it and make him apologize in front of the whole school. the punishment shouldnt be worse than the crime IMO.

 

[lebel409]

We went through the threatening phone call deal...on the receiving end...in Jr High. My son was getting texts and messages from this cow and was keeping them from us...but the wife checks his phone to see what he's up to... She placed a block on her number, and the genius had the ovaries to call and start bitching out my wife about "her freedom of expression" and demanding that the number be unblocked so she could continue to berate our boy. The phone calls got more graphic (and late at night). We called her parents and got a,"so what?".

We called the school, they got the police involved, terrorist threats, etc.

Very uncomfortable place to be.

At 16, he should know the difference between a prank (Do you have Prince Albert in a can?) and abuse, and have enough respect for teachers, etc...at least to their face...that this wouldn't have come up.

However, we all have amazing brain farts.

IMO, you've let it be known what was wrong and what you expect. The entire deal with the courts etc will be a big deal and he'll always think twice when a similar situation comes up.

The big problem is the birthday. I don't know what was planned, but I'd scale it back to family, cake and ice cream. No friends...unless they are either neighbors AND uninvolved in the phone incident or really good influences.

Presents...some things that say he's still your son...but no bonus presents, like a car or a laptop.

On of the things kids need to learn is that what they do affects the family too.

Best of luck.

 

[linus3]

I was raised by a very strong hand. I catch myself now doing the complete opposite of what my dad did when It comes time to handing out punishments.

Yes, he screwed up. It sounds like that was made very clear to him. At worst he is going to recieve community service for his actions. Unless there is more to the story or a past history with LEO's. When it comes time for court, request to the Judge that upon completion of community service that his juvenile record be clean. I ve seen it happen many times before. If the Judge says no, just remember, his juvenile record is sealed the day he turns eighteen. A fresh start to begin his adult life. Turning 16 is a pretty big deal for a kid. I would hate myself years down the road that I took a special day away from my kid. Have a great family (16th) b-day, it only comes once. The day after his birthday, make it very clear to him that he is still in the dog house. Good luck.....:thumbsup

 

[rivergames]

The situation could be properly assess with pictures of the teacher for RDP'rs to see

 

[McRib]

The situation could be properly assess with pictures of the teacher for RDP'rs to see

Lol. If I took a pic of this lady and she caught me I'd prob have some legal issues to deal with my self

 

[djhartley2003]

The first thing I'm going to say is that you sound like you have a good kid, let me repeat that KID. After reading this whole thread there is a question I am asking my self, where did they get the phone number? Before anyone gets all pissy I'm not saying what they did was OK but there kids and if she gave them the number like a lot of teachers do today than she should have come to you and not the police. I cant even believe this is going to tie up time in a court room. Again there kids and this is the shit kids do that they get caught doing that helps them to become adults. Anymore everyone wants them to grow up and be good adults without going threw any life lessons as a kid. I got suspended from school once for telling a teacher he was a DICK. My dad made me go to work at our welding and tube bender shop while I was on vacation. I think that you have handled it well. As far as the birthday goes again he's a kid have the birthday. I like the comment that someone made earlier, put you arm around him and let him know that you will be there with him. A part of teaching him to be a man is that you stand up tall and deal with the mistakes we make but don't ever forget that if you need help family will always be there. Your never to big to ask for help when you get in over your head. Again I think your doing a great job. 16 and this is the worst he's done, pat him on the back.

 

[OCMerrill]

There is a thing to be said for stacked punishments. I don't believe in them per say.

Sounds like he is getting it from all angles. He's 16 so watch how bad you brand him over this if you would like to see him as an adult.

I was raised with a heavy hand and like linus3 said you end up remembering all that and not what brought in on.

It's a fine line.

 

[rivermobster]

I have to boys doucher and shitbird. (John and David). I have a prob happening and it's pretty serious. I will fill u in with some details not all.

Doucher fucked up pretty bad last week to the tune of a possible misdemeanor. A graphic prank call was made to a teacher and the idiots involved all got caught and they all rolled over on doucher. Police were called small investigation done and a citation issued to doucher to appear in court in July. IMO this should have never gotten this far but it did. The victim could have talked to me but choose not to. She is a teacher and is going to ruin my sons juvi record for IMO is just a BS child prank. Any how the day this happened I came home and went fuggen bananas on him. I'm talking I prob could have gone to jail . I have stripped him of everything on top of the ass whoopin. This mother effer is on fuggen lock down. I even wore his ass out marine corps boot camp style for 3 hrs. He may have lost 10 lbs that day.

Here is the delima. His 16th b day is this Sunday. We told him he deserves nothing and is gettin nothin. Prob just a cake and an insincere happy bday song sung to him. Me and norma are friggin pissed and have every intention of sticking to our guns on this. U only turn 16 once and it supposed to be special but he is so undeserving of n e thing right now.

How would u deal with this situation??

LOTS of great answers here. Hats off to some of you guys.

One of the things you HAVE to do now, is follow thru with what you first said! He has to know your not gonna back down. Dads word is the rule.

Second, make sure he knows you love him. My kid did sumphin Real stupid this weekend. I riped him a new one for it. He's gonna be writing hand written appoligy letters to the people involved, but I didnt punish the guy. Why? The tears in his eyes when he confessed, let me know how bad he felt. I want him to learn a lesson here, but i dont wanna break his sprit either. When i finnally calmed down, i talked at length with him about what he did wrong and why it was wrong, and made sure he understood. Kids are kids, they are still learning. I'm learning every day as a parent.

Stick to your guns, follow through with your word. Make sure he know you love him to death, and you want whats right for him.

Good f'n luck. Sounds like your gonna be fine. Ya just cant be too carefull These days.

 

[Cole Trickle]

I thought sweet 16 parties were for girls???:skull

I didn't get shit for my 16th and I don't remember any kind of special hoopla yet I turned out just fine....

I would want to hear the phone call and what was said. If it was over the top and scary in nature there wouldn't be a party and I would use this as a good scare factor for the future (I wouldn't let my kid go to juvi)

Kids are a trippy thing...... I have less advise to give today after having one than I did previously. I think a strong steady hand is needed. I will never beat on my kid to the point where I get emotional. I want to raise a well rounded respectfull kid that knows the difference between right and wrong.

I will let you know if I accomplish that in about 18 years...lol:box:

 

[Ryphraph]

Has the kid been charged yet? A co-worker went through something similar for felony threats. He ended up getting some kind of administrative hearing and doing probation with counseling and conditions that grades are kept up, etc. After the way they handled it, I might be inclined to get an attorney involved (which they didn't), although in the end it all seems to have worked out.

Good luck with the birthday part, I have no idea what I would do in your situation...

Ryph

 

[McRib]

To answer one of djhartly's questions the phone number was from another kids phone and this was a dare. Here is the set up.

Our next door neighbor kid who goes to JR high with my youngest (8th grade) had the number in his phone. He dared my clueless follower son (10th grader) to do the calls (3 explicit voicemails). The did what they did then all hell broke loose at the JR high. They did there investigation and all the kids involved rolled over on my son to cover there asses. There were 3 kids involved and my son cause he ultimatly pulled the trigger. I've told my kids time and time again ask ur self am I gonna get caught. I've always told them the answer is yes. Every time they have ever focked up I've caught them or they have been ratted on. Ud think they'd learn by now

 

[Tom Brown]

The teacher may be over reacting but that's a matter of opinion and as a 15 year old, he is a young man so it's time he deal with the real world. Further, the system is structured to protect teachers so there will be little to no push back.

Would your reaction have been the same if the teacher had called to inform you of the issue? If not, why not? Point being, if the crime were the same but the reaction different, why should that influence how you deal with this?

We install a lot of responsibility on teachers but frequently they aren't all that much older than the students. She could be in her 20s. I suggests you keep that in mind, when it comes to your thoughts toward this person. She could well be someone who isn't a whole lot more mature than Doucher.

 

[Lue]

You are trying to play this off like the teacher is wrong. Not so, it's the boys who screwed up. I think you are correct in hoping for some community service.

That's not what hes saying at all. His boy got his ass handed to him for poor judgement and stupid prank calls. The teacher/law is blowing shit out of proportion.

HW, I think you've done your parental duties well. However, there's another lesson to be learned for your son. Milk the "legal consequences" part of this deal to the max. That will put enough stress on him to think twice the next time. I think it's bullshit, that you're even having to deal with the "legal side of it" over a phone call. But it is what it is. Good luck.

BTW, is the teacher hot?

 

[Lue]

her eyes glased over and she looked like she thought I was gonna beat her or sumthin.

BTW, is the teacher hot?

Something tells me she's not.

 

[TPC]

the beat part about armchair parenting is that I don't have to listen to n e of it. For the most part my kids have been raised to think if it's wrong they will get caught. I've done pretty good. Sent my kids to the movies with there friends the friends wanted to sneak into a diff movie and my kids called us to come pick them up cause they did not want to get in trouble. I was impressed when they did that. He had a brain fart and it stinks bad. They know what's right from wrong I just need to get the follower mentality out of my oldest. This mentality is what gets him in trouble every time

What I meant to say was: My Beach chair Parenting advise is worth what ya paid for it.

Didn't mean to paint with a broad brush.
I'm the first to chime in here looking for guidance from the RDP Jury.