Loaning Money to Friends and Family

[J DUNN]

Ramsey is a Fag.

At the end of the day its just paper. Can't take any of it with you.

HAHA, come on man we’re all Ramsey followers here, you know that!
Just paper, haha.

 

[white tortilla]

 

[rrrr]

My criminal ex-brother owed me $10K for a loan (made before he stiffed me on a mid six figure deal and I cut off contact with him). He finally paid me after two years...and the motherfucker sent me a 1099 the following January.

 

[lbhsbz]

Someone told me 30 years or so ago…”if you ever loan someone $100 and never see them again, it was worth it”

Adjusted for inflation…that’s $1000 now, or more….doesn’t matter.

If I have to ask a friend to pay me…they’re no longer a friend.

If I have to ask a customer to pay me, they’re no longer a customer.


There are plenty more friends and plenty more customers

The only one I’ve ever asked to borrow money from is my Dad…and that’s kinda how it works when you’re young and starting off. I expect to “loan” a lot of money to my son too to get him on a track he wants to be on.

 

[BingerFang]

One time @white tortilla loaned me money to buy a boat off him. I was broke and in college. I paid him in $300 increments every 2-3 months. Thanks again for the interest free loan @white tortilla !!!

 

[CarolynandBob]

Anybody else had bad experiences lending money to friends and family? I’ve been asked by 2 separate friends with families, in the last month, to borrow money. I’m talking small amounts like $300 - $1,000. In both cases I did it on a handshake. The $1,000 guy paid me back in a week with $100 in interest and I didn’t have to remind him about it but the $300 guy I’ve been chasing around for 6 weeks and I’m ready to give up on it.

What’s your story?

Twice 5K both times. Never got a penny back. Never loan money period.

 

[MPHSystems]

I "loaned" a friend a LOT more than that... never saw a dime.

People are broke because of bad planning.

Good planning won't usually start the day after you give them money.

Forget about it and learn the lesson.

This.

When I do loan money to a friend, I consider it a gift (prevents me from building resentment) AND, as a favor to them, I require they draw up and we both sign a simple contract. You are not wrong about poor planning people putting themselves in a bind. I’ll always renegotiate the contract, the money was a gift in my mind. But it helps my friend learn to plan and keep their head up. power disparity will ruin a friendship.


we had one friend who needed $2k to keep their apartment, $200 every 2 weeks for 10 months. Had to skip twice, which was fine. It was the weekend at the Disneyland hotel during the skips that told me everything. Years later she texted me to ask if I’d be a reference on an apartment application. My phone ended up being real glitchy for a few weeks, I couldn’t respond.

I‘m not judging, but I’m also not getting involved. Our families are still friendly.

 

[dave29]

Loaned money a few times. One friend I just said "you don't need to pay me back." Wasn't a big deal. Loaned money to an employee. Never got the money back and he never got his job back. Cost him a lot more than the loan. Another guy, I chased for three months. I finally told him that next time I saw him wound be an unforgettable experience for him. I got paid the next day.
NO MORE LOANS!!

 

[Paradox]

Am I the only one that ever bailed a friend out of jail? Although decades ago, I did it twice and was repaid both times..

 

[Happy Smitty]

I've been working since I was 15 and always had cash. Loaned money to a few friends when i was young and never got repaid. I learned my lesson back then and have become very selective with the people I surround myself with and no more loans. The last request was my mother in law needed 35k for dental work. My wife came to me with that one. I told them I was going to report elder abuse on the dental practice that quoted her that.

 

[rivrrts429]

I feel like I’m in a good headspace if I just agree that I’m donating money at that point. If that person pays me back great but, if they don’t, I made a donation.

It sucks to be that callous and I’m not proud of it but that’s what has worked best for me. I’ve never borrowed a dime from my parents or siblings, never. They don’t ask me either.

If you can’t consider it Charity then I shouldn’t loan it out.

I slept on it. Nope, I’m more confident than ever that I’m not loaning out money

Thanksgiving is weird when Aunt Susan can’t afford to pay back the money lol

 

[Your ad here]

I have a body language that most people just figure they shouldn't ask. For the ones that do ask the answer is no. Thing is, if they can't afford what ever they owe money to they can't afford to pay you back. It rarely happens but recently I had a co worker ask for money. I'm thinking how can he be broke? He just got a company vehicle and fuel card 5 months ago... I said no and he had to wait 3 days till payday. Typically when you lend someone money you are delaying their inevitable event.

 

[was thatguy]

It’s a lot like putting a deposit on a ‘toon…

 

[TimeBandit]

There was a post in here somewhere chastising those that worked hard planned hard and saved hard for not handing out cash.

Think about it. if a grown ass middle-aged adult needs even a few hundred dollars that means they have no cash, no savings and no available credit to do a cash advance.

So if you feel they deserve a gift fine. but loaning money in this situation will not end well.

They already proved they don't handle money well.

You earn your credit rating good or bad.

I have a feeling most people on this site have done a better job with their finances.

It's not about compassion it's about giving a drug addict more drugs.

It's the entitlement mentality that lets someone look into my garage and decide what tools they need to borrow.

Same with my bank account.

 

[Ziggy]

My charity to family is a 5 bedroom, pool home with a monthly nut 90% below market value.
Cash, never, especially if they are cronicly terrible money managers.
I never received cash from my folks during my growing years but had support similar to how I help my son.
M-I-L helped us with ~$8k for a down on our 1st Havasu house. Truly the only $ help we ever received from family.
.
.
I can see helping out a friend short term if in a situational shortage, like some sort of impulse purchase they may not have expected & just didn't have enough money with them(but have it).

 

[C_J_J_C]

I never loan but I have paid rents, medical bills, taken people grocery shopping, bought cheap commuter cars, ect. All gifts.

I also am know in my circle as the guy who buys things and will sell them back..... personal pawn. I have bought entire tool boxea, classic cars, jewlery, even real property. I usually pay 50% or less the value and I only give my word (Nothing in writting) of how long I will give them to buy it back, usually 1 year.... I 100% own the stuff, I take physical possession, and I use it. 90% or more have bought their stuff back.

 

[Ziggy]

There was a post in here somewhere chastising those that worked hard planned hard and saved hard for not handing out cash.

Think about it. if a grown ass middle-aged adult needs even a few hundred dollars that means they have no cash, no savings and no available credit to do a cash advance.

So if you feel they deserve a gift fine. but loaning money in this situation will not end well.

They already proved they don't handle money well.

You earn your credit rating good or bad.

I have a feeling most people on this site have done a better job with their finances.

It's not about compassion it's about giving a drug addict more drugs.

It's the entitlement mentality that lets someone look into my garage and decide what tools they need to borrow.

Same with my bank account.

The American way is to live well beyond your means with credit, until you've spent all that credit.

 

[BabyRay]

Am I the only one that ever bailed a friend out of jail? Although decades ago, I did it twice and was repaid both times..

I’ve never bailed anyone out, but my father-in-law did bail me out once…..and still let me marry his daughter.

 

[73beast]

Loaning money to anybody causes amnesia........

 

[was thatguy]

Well, not all families are created equal.
My family is the absolute worst.
Well, they’re all dead now except my sister and she is the worst one of all.
Brother died at 54 yo from crack and booze. Sister stole mom’s house from her after the last earthquake in Alaska.
Mom was no angel, she smuggled cocaine into the jail for my brother to sell when he was incarcerated for beating the hooker that robbed his son over a crack deal, and caused her miscarriage. Oh, and mom also had a habit of opening credit cards in other peoples names and maxing them out.
Now I realize that this sort of behavior is sometimes celebrated on RDP…but…would you lend them money?
I chased all of them off my porch at gunpoint several times over the years.
You don’t lend or give them money. It’s like feeding rats on purpose.

Sympathy?
I lived in a car on bricks like 30 years ago. Just like Ricky in trailer park boys but without the luxury of a driveway and electricity.
Now I have a perfect credit score, money, a house, nice car (with wheels!) and no one gave me a fucking thing nor did I ever ask for a fucking thing.
If I can do it, anyone can do it.
They don’t need anything from me.

 

[jetboatperformance]

I'm the "Bank of Dad" nuff said

 

[FCT]

If I loan you money I won’t stop until I get it back or at least get something of yours that’s valuable to you

It’s all about integrity and at least attempting to pay it back because it’s usually not the money that you care about it’s just the point!

I was 17 and had the transmission go out on my F150 and had to borrow $2k from my BIL and I had him payed back within 6 weeks. I was broke as shit then so if I could do it so can anyone.

 

[bonesfab]

This is a bad subject for me. I am the idiot nice guy. I have loaned and helped out more people than I care to admit. I have gotten some repaid over the years and some I am still waiting on. I loaned my niece 25k for deposit on a house as she had her shit together and wanted to give her a headstart and not waste money on rent. Two years goes by and I hear through family she sold the house and moved back closer to my sister. Called and asked what was going on and she pretty much brushed me off. I was like there should have been enough profit to pay me back. Well that cost her being written out of the will. I have helped a few good friends out that were going through divorces and custody issues. One will pay me back when the aunt that owns 15 acres on Martha vineyard passes away, and the other when he sues the shit out of every county agency for falsifying reports . I look at it as paying it forward. Karma and juju have a way of making things work out. But on that note, Bank of Bones has tightened his loan standards quite a bit as people are always willing to take, but rarely want to give.

 

[hallett21]

Reading some of these posts makes me think a lot of people need to clean house anyways lol.

If a $1,000 loan is the make or break of a friendship or relationship I would think in the back of your head you already knew it was hollow at best.

When you get into 5 figures then it absolutely gets sticky and in hindsight should probably have a contract in place. Nothing complicated but just something to keep everyone honest.

Money is a funny thing. I’ve always had the attitude that I can always make more (hopefully an infinite amount). And others count every nickel in and out. To me money isn’t everything, friends and family who will help physically, mentally etc also has a value. Even when they cannot contribute financially.

I’ve transported and hooked up my generators to friend's homes when the breast milk could go bad etc etc. I do that with zero expectations in return because that’s what a good friend does. But when we go out to dinner and me and the husband “split” the bill I have a moment of pause. But i just move on.

 

[endobear]

My old man would loan money all the time, but he would always get something as collateral.

I got burned loaning/advancing a few employees. The 1st few times they were good at working it off.
Then they ask for a large amount and pull the disappearing act.

No loans without collateral unless your one a few select close friends or family.

 

[Cooter01]

When I was younger I loaned a "friend" $400 for bail money, saw him when he got out to collect my money and never saw him again. Learned a few years later his gf at the time died from a drug overdose. Him, not sure what happened. Last time I ever did that.

 

[was thatguy]

Reading some of these posts makes me think a lot of people need to clean house anyways lol.

If a $1,000 loan is the make or break of a friendship or relationship I would think in the back of your head you already knew it was hollow at best.

When you get into 5 figures then it absolutely gets sticky and in hindsight should probably have a contract in place. Nothing complicated but just something to keep everyone honest.

Money is a funny thing. I’ve always had the attitude that I can always make more (hopefully an infinite amount). And others count every nickel in and out. To me money isn’t everything, friends and family who will help physically, mentally etc also has a value. Even when they cannot contribute financially.

I’ve transported and hooked up my generators to friend's homes when the breast milk could go bad etc etc. I do that with zero expectations in return because that’s what a good friend does. But when we go out to dinner and me and the husband “split” the bill I have a moment of pause. But i just move on.

There’s a lot of truth here.
My best friends are all over the place as far as wealth class. One I work with and we are sort of peers.
One can buy the world but it never even enters our minds because we share the same interests and do not care who has what. We value other things rather than the dollar.
The so called friends I’ve cut out had zero to do with money, it had to do with lack of character.

 

[cofooter]

Before I got married in my 20's way back when I had accumulated a fair amount of credit card debt. My Dad said he would loan me the money so I wouldn't start this new chapter of my life in debt. But he said don't use this to get into more debt and that stuck with me til this day, always been very responsible with money. Anyways, it was a few years before I was in a position to pay him back and he knew that and never hassled me. But when I was I wrote a check to him and he gave it back to me. He said, we already took it out of your inheritance, haha. Years later I got a copy of the trust and no mention of the loan. Good guy, he was a step dad but did a lot for me and taught me a lot about life........

I'd do it for my kids if I knew they were responsible enough to at least try and pay it back but they are in their 30's and haven't needed to.

 

[bonesfab]

A few years ago my stepdaughter that i lost in the divorce from her psycho mother called and asked if she could borrow some money as she was putting herself through school. I would do anything for her. I asked how much and she told me 300.00. I sent her a check for 500.00 A few months later she sends me a check for 35.00. I through it in the desk drawer and forgot about it. She calls and asks if I ever cashed her check. I told her no I did not and don’t worry about it till you are done with school. the fact she tried to pay me back was good enough. She went on to get her masters on her own with grants. Couldn’t be more proud of her. And if she was still out here I would have spent a hell of a lot more than 500.00 on Her.