Loaning Money to Friends and Family

[FROGMAN524]

Anybody else had bad experiences lending money to friends and family? I’ve been asked by 2 separate friends with families, in the last month, to borrow money. I’m talking small amounts like $300 - $1,000. In both cases I did it on a handshake. The $1,000 guy paid me back in a week with $100 in interest and I didn’t have to remind him about it but the $300 guy I’ve been chasing around for 6 weeks and I’m ready to give up on it.

What’s your story?

 

[oldboatsrule]

Never loan money you are not prepared to "gift".

If they repay.. fanfukntastic. If they don't, well that's why ya call it a gift.

 

[Andy B.]

Never loan money you are not prepared to "gift".

If they repay.. fanfukntastic. If they don't, well that's why ya call it a gift.

This!

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

Never loan money you are not prepared to "gift".

If they repay.. fanfukntastic. If they don't, well that's why ya call it a gift.

I learned early on NEVER to loan money to family or friends. EXPECT it to be a gift or you’re going down a path of disappointment.

 

[Tamalewagon]

OldBoatsRule is spot on. Lending small amounts of money to "friends" is also a sure way of never hearing from or seeing them again. If they don't repay it, it may be money well spent.

 

[poncho]

I learned early on NEVER to loan money to family or friends. EXPECT it to be a gift or you’re going down a path of disappointment.

I head it off with you will never be able to pay it back so don't make yourself look foolish, this will not become a habit.

 

[J DUNN]

Dave Ramsey says it changes the taste of the turkey at Thanksgiving Dinner.

 

[dezrtracer]

I don't do business or loan to family and friends . Lost a few before I learned that lesson

 

[farmo83]

Someone would have to be in pretty dire straights for me to consider loaning them money, job loss, major unexpected emergency, medical problem, etc. Outside of that you can figure it out. Also I have to judge you to be wanting to get back on solid footing financially.

An example of the above is a while ago my aunt loaned my cousin money and before he payed her back in full he bought a new truck. I don't play this game.

Now if you need some ones when we're at the gentleman's club, I got you

 

[DWC]

I actually borrowed a little over $10k from my son closing on the Havasu house. . Got caught a little short over the weekend and couldn’t get my hands on the funds. Other than that, it’s a horrible idea!

I did give several loans/handouts to my brother during a rough stretch. He went in and out of prison and rehab and couldn’t get his life on track. Didn’t expect and don’t expect to ever see it back. It got ugly for a while. Proud of him, clean, sober and working hard for over a decade.

 

[JL95]

I am probably more so on the side of needing it than loaning it at the moment and I will see the bank first lmao. Too proud.

My dad would play loan shark to employees who needed to float between paychecks. My grandpa on the other hand was an actual loan shark in the Philippines

 

[Runs2rch]

Dave Ramsey says it changes the taste of the turkey at Thanksgiving Dinner.

Ramsey is a Fag.

At the end of the day its just paper. Can't take any of it with you.

 

[zhandfull]

Never loan money you are not prepared to "gift".

If they repay.. fanfukntastic. If they don't, well that's why ya call it a gift.

That is my rule as well.

 

[DRYHEAT]

It really depends on the circumstances and who it is at the time.

I always assume I will never get paid back.

 

[lbhsbz]

I loan money all the time…

2 scenarios: It’s a Sunday or holiday and a buddy found a deal on something but needs cash. I typically keep some on hand, and he’ll pay me back next week when the bank opens. I expect this back.

2: someone is down on their luck and I happen not to be, so I’ll offer to help….i’ve been in their shoes, it sucks. I’d like it back at some point, and that was the deal, but if I don’t get it back, I’m just disappointed, not upset.

I’m done doing the 2nd one, I give people a chance to change their habits/priorities, but you can rarely teach an old dog new tricks. They piss it away and go back to their old ways.

 

[TimeBandit]

I "loaned" a friend a LOT more than that... never saw a dime.

People are broke because of bad planning.

Good planning won't usually start the day after you give them money.

Forget about it and learn the lesson.

 

[Mr. C]

Never loan money you are not prepared to "gift".

If they repay.. fanfukntastic. If they don't, well that's why ya call it a gift.

There it is. My “gift” was about 15 years ago. Lol
Again nothing huge 1200. But when promised to get it back in a week it makes you pause.
No offer of say 50 a week or even a month.
I really don’t have a desire to see the person because it chews my ass to stay quiet.

That said.

Have also had good experiences though.
We were on a cruise with about 20 family & acquaintances and some were having issue getting funds on the ship for an art sale.
While my wife and I were laughed at for bringing AE traveler checks. We loaned out about 8k. And got every cent back with some booze as thank you’s.
So I think it’s know it might go either way

 

[HALLETT BOY]

I you have to ask for your money back , you’re most likely not gonna get it and you’ve lost them as a friend or secure family member . Make your decision wisely.

 

[4Waters]

Years ago a buddy (A) of mine was renting a house with another buddy (B) and they also started a fab business together (buddy A already had a machine shop).

Right before the business opened Buddy B (there is an inmate that will know who they both are now) had dropped a dirt bike on his leg and broke it in a couple places and was going to require surgery. B had no insurance, surgeon had an old blazer that needed a new motor and a bunch of other work. A and B talked and agreed that they would do the work on the blazer for the surgery

After he recovered they rented a house and the landlord wanted to change the tile in the main entryway and buddy B used to be a tile guy so they all decided that A and B would do the job for 2 months rent.

After they did the demolition buddy B disappeared in the middle of the night, he went to the shop as well and stole a shit load of customers parts and was never seen again.

Buddy A was now stuck with the blazer, the house with no tile work done and a bunch of customers that were pissed off because their parts were stolen. He had a wife and 2 young daughters, he wasn't unable to afford the rent himself and he wasn't going to get the security back either. He didn't have any money to get into an apartment as well so I paid for my machine work (just labor) up front and told him "If it was just you and your wife you could live here at the shop but your daughters can't, I want you to get my shit done in a timely manner though". He was extremely thankful and said no problem.

5 years later after being an asshole and pushing on him for the last 18 months he finally ported, assembled, flowed the heads and assembled the engine. Seriously, full service shop, balancer, mill, line hone, valve machine, flow bench, lathe.... he didn't have to sub anything out, it was all in house.

 

[boatpi]

Learn to family that aren’t tweakers that have been employed for many many years and make a six figure income and own a house for something they need for a while, that’s different.

everybody else. Fuck no.

 

[HBCraig]

Yes, to a couple of extended family. I considered it a gift as I didn't get it back.

 

[mjc]

Me and my best friend loan each other when something comes up and one of us doesn't have enough cash in the safe to cover it. Paid back in a few days when cash becomes available.

 

[petie6464]

I did 60k..

Didn't speak to him for 15 years. One day I decided to go to his house.. When he opened the door his eyes were as big as an owls.

I'm pretty sure he thought his life was at the end, instead he invited me in and I sat down and simply said "Its been fifteen years, I want my money, pay me now and and I'll forgive you never mention it again."

He wrote me a check for half and mailed me the rest a week later..

He's my brother and I now talk to him every day..

 

[beerrun]

Anybody else had bad experiences lending money to friends and family? I’ve been asked by 2 separate friends with families, in the last month, to borrow money. I’m talking small amounts like $300 - $1,000. In both cases I did it on a handshake. The $1,000 guy paid me back in a week with $100 in interest and I didn’t have to remind him about it but the $300 guy I’ve been chasing around for 6 weeks and I’m ready to give up on it.

What’s your story?

Can I borrow a thousand please

 

[wallnutz]

There are a few family members that don’t talk to me anymore because I wouldn’t loan them money, in the long run it saved me money.

 

[DWRAT]

There are a few family members that don’t talk to me anymore because I wouldn’t loan them money, in the long run it saved me money.

Exactly 100%.
Either they get piss at you for not loaning or you get pissed at them for not paying.
No win situation.

 

[Cdog]

It’s been said it’s the best way to get rid of someone.

I haven’t seen Greg Roundtree in 24 years. Loaned that fucker 1k and he went MIA.

Shit happens

 

[rivrrts429]

There is no scenario I would ever lend money, family or otherwise.

You people are nuts lending any amount of cash. If the bank won’t lend to them why should you?

I get hit up periodically but it’s when they’re desperate. The last place they want to ask is me.

Go fuck yourself. I’m not in the charity business.

 

[C_J_J_C]

I follow my father's advice and I never loan friends or family money. That being said...... I have paid rents, bought food, bought a cheap car, let people move in with us rent free, ect. I refuse to not know where my loan is being spent so I pay direct. I also treat it as a gift and I am paid back I will help again. If not I just say remember last time and NO.

 

[Mr. C]

There is no scenario I would ever lend money, family or otherwise.

You people are nuts lending any amount of cash. If the bank won’t lend to them why should you?

I get hit up periodically but it’s when they’re desperate. The last place they want to ask is me.

Go fuck yourself. I’m not in the charity business.

I get it but. You’ve never had that best friend. Or whoever. Who you know is a righteous and honest person that you wouldn’t lend that financial deal. Again it does go back to. I might not get it back. But I can help them now.
If I can’t help them the answer is simple.

The bank comment is a different story. I’m loaning 15-20k or more. I’m taking helping a friend through tough times. And who you trust.

 

[Runs2rch]

Man some of you assholes better hope you aren't hard up ever.

 

[Mr. C]

Man some of you assholes better hope you aren't hard up ever.

I can attest to that. Are we talking family like in brothers sisters cousins. Or mom and dad
My parents and my wife’s parents helped us through a few tough times. And we never deserted them. Wouldn’t be were I am without their help. That said. We were also caregivers to my Mil for 7 years. Things have a way coming around. If you treat people decent.

 

[77charger]

IMO don’t do it unless you do t expect it back.

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

Man some of you assholes better hope you aren't hard up ever.

I don’t think so. Just don’t expect it back.

I have thousands out to family and friends to help with tough times. Hopefully they can pay it back in the future but i’m not going to notice or care if they don’t.

 

[rivrrts429]

I get it but. You’ve never had that best friend. Or whoever. Who you know is a righteous and honest person that you wouldn’t lend that financial deal. Again it does go back to. I might not get it back. But I can help them now.
If I can’t help them the answer is simple.

The bank comment is a different story. I’m loaning 15-20k or more. I’m taking helping a friend through tough times. And who you trust.

I feel like I’m in a good headspace if I just agree that I’m donating money at that point. If that person pays me back great but, if they don’t, I made a donation.

It sucks to be that callous and I’m not proud of it but that’s what has worked best for me. I’ve never borrowed a dime from my parents or siblings, never. They don’t ask me either.

If you can’t consider it Charity then I shouldn’t loan it out.

 

[Mr. C]

I feel like I’m in a good headspace if I just agree that I’m donating money at that point. If that person pays me back great but, if they don’t, I made a donation.

It sucks to be that callous and I’m not proud of it but that’s what has worked best for me. I’ve never borrowed a dime from my parents or siblings, never. They don’t ask me either.

If you can’t consider it Charity then I shouldn’t loan it out.

I’m not questioning your head space or callousness and get the charity comment. It’s how we get by without anger and disengagement from others. Does that make sense. No judgement whatso ever.

 

[rivrrts429]

I’m not questioning your head space or callousness and get the charity comment. It’s how we get by without anger and disengagement from others. Does that make sense. No judgement whatso ever.

What you said makes a lot of sense. I’m looking at the scenario differently because of it. You’re not wrong at all.

Sometimes I need someone to take the “edge” off me.

 

[Mr. C]

What you said makes a lot of sense. I’m looking at the scenario differently because of it. You’re not wrong at all.

Sometimes I need someone to take the “edge” off me.

Outside the box can often open us up to other options. Not that that is always a good thing either.

Bigger things is. I’m getting older. And tired of holding to anger. I can live with or without you. But want to do it peace.

 

[OC Daytona]

I've had pretty good success lending money to friends and family, but I'm selective about who I lend it to.
If you're having constant $ problems, ur wife doesn't work, but you both have new cars and vacation all the time.....that would be NO.

I've seen a lot of people lose the money and the friend, because after a certain amount of time they know they will never pay you back and they're embarrassed to call.

Like others have said, give them the money if you can spare it and if it's a legit need, such as hot stripper hits them up for lap dance, good karma coming your way and they better fill your boat with gas if you ever let them on it again.

 

[endobear]

Lost a few long time friends over loans.
Not loans I gave them. But friends I had introduced them to. That gave them the loans.

 

[BabyRay]

My parents helped us out when we were starting our business, so I feel it’s my responsibility to do the same for other family members when needed. I’ve helped some who paid me back, and others who didn’t. Those who didn’t won’t see another donation from me, but I don’t hate them for it either. That would only make me miserable.

 

[hallett21]

I’m not a bank. If I lend it it’s a gift. And if it comes back great.

 

[DarkHorseRacing]

I paid for a major part on a project boat for my father. At this point the boat still isn’t done. When my dad’s gone I’m going to show I have an interest in it, request it be liquidated, and get paid back. Or I’m leining the boat, or requesting to keep it.

We’ll see. But my father is the only one I’d consider helping out. No one else.

 

[HubbaHubbaLife]

Someone would have to be in pretty dire straights for me to consider loaning them money, job loss, major unexpected emergency, medical problem, etc. Outside of that you can figure it out. Also I have to judge you to be wanting to get back on solid footing financially.

An example of the above is a while ago my aunt loaned my cousin money and before he payed her back in full he bought a new truck. I don't play this game.

Now if you need some ones when we're at the gentleman's club, I got you

Gentlemans Club ya say? That loan can come back to you with some very nice vig or so I'm told

 

[SoCalDave]

Been there done that...nope, nope and nope.

 

[Aces & Eights]

 

[Sherpa]

made a loan to a childhood friend when we were in our mid 20's, he was always having hard times.

I pretty much knew it would never be repaid. I'd rather have the friendship, even though I haven't seen
him since. no biggie.

 

[Boat 405]

Anybody else had bad experiences lending money to friends and family? I’ve been asked by 2 separate friends with families, in the last month, to borrow money. I’m talking small amounts like $300 - $1,000. In both cases I did it on a handshake. The $1,000 guy paid me back in a week with $100 in interest and I didn’t have to remind him about it but the $300 guy I’ve been chasing around for 6 weeks and I’m ready to give up on it.

What’s your story?

Never do it.

 

[Roosky01]

I guess I have been fortunate in my situation. I have borrowed money once in my family and have lent money multiple times to my two brothers over the years and it has always worked out. If I had ever lent money to my two sisters it would've been a totally different story...

 

[Dan Lorenze]

One of my best friends is very financially successful, he's like a Brother to me. He told me not too long ago that if I ever needed money that he's got my back. I told him that I really appreciated it, and said I would never do that because it would change the dynamic of our friendship and that means more to me than anything.