Jeppson's Malört, my friends are assholes.

[whiteworks]

Stopped by a Christmas party last night, unfortunately for me I had never tired Jeppson's Malört before and saying no was not an answer that was going to be accepted with this crowd, as it’s just something that is going to happen when you show up at this family affair.

Best I can describe it is like a combination of diesal fuel, mixed with Jet A and 40 weight oil, while chewing on a grapefruit rind. I’ve never had my mouth shit in, but I imagine that it would be similar to taking a shot of Jeppson's Malört. The worst part is that the taste doesn’t go away anytime soon, it coats the inside of your mouth and lingers for like 45 minutes.

If you are as fucked as my pals, I highly advise picking up a bottle and peer pressuring your pals into taking a shot.

Entertainment value very high 10+
Experience value for victim -10

 

[MeCasa16]

I lived in Chicago for 10 years. It used to be that you could only buy that stuff in Chicago, that may still be true, but I know from experience, always pass on the Malort…

 

[Sleek-Jet]

It is available any place liquor is sold out here. In fact I have a bottle in my booze cabinet.

Malort is a wormwood liquor, proceed with caution.

 

[27Daytona]

I’d find new friends before drinking that butt jizz,

 

[shintoooo]

They always take shots of that on the Heidi and Frank radio show in the mornings when they’re playing drinking games. It’s so funny listening to their reactions lol.

 

[GRADS]

I’ve never had my mouth shit in, but I imagine that it would be similar to taking a shot of Jeppson's Malört.

I’d find new friends before drinking that butt jizz,

Does anyone know if Total Wine has it, asking for a friend.

 

[lbhsbz]

Sounds like it's right up there with Fernet Branca

 

[TrollerDave]

They always take shots of that on the Heidi and Frank radio show in the mornings when they’re playing drinking games. It’s so funny listening to their reactions lol.

They make it sound so awful. It’s the penalty for getting trivia questions wrong.
They have mentioned having it shipped out here to LA, so I don’t think it’s available out here.
It was made during prohibition and sold as medicine. They made it taste terrible because you’d be crazy to drink otherwise.

Jeppson's Malört | A Chicago Icon

Jeppson's Malört has the aroma and full-bodied flavor of an unusual botanical. Its bitter taste is savored by two-fisted drinkers.

malort.com

I’d find new friends before drinking that butt jizz,

butt jizz.

 

[Crazyhippy]

I ha e roughly 260 bottles of bourbon open, some really difficult to find stuff, but i spent more energy chasing a bottle of Malort than any of the rest of them! Ended up buying it in Chicago.

Slainte