AITA type question

[BeeBazaar]

Im new here... but the lounge seems to be a place where anything goes... so how about this.

AITA for wanting to sell the house my brother lives in?​

My brother has lived in a house I own for 13 years. the intent was to do some light remodeling and sell it to them. They don't really take care of it. I tried like hell to get them to buy it when the rates were 3%. The pretty much took no real initiative. They pay me $850 a month which is about $500 less than the going rate for the area. finished basement, 4 bed 2 bath house, 2 car garage. fenced yard. They cant really afford it even cutting them the same deal I tried when rates were 3%. I am tired of the financial burden on me. It doesn't really cost me anything per se, it's just my responsibility. Like when HVAC goes out etc whatever. I can sell it for about 40k more than I would to them without having to work on it. But they will not find another place to live for the money. I feel like I would be screwing my brother on 1 hand, but on another it would be a huge relief to wash my hands of the entire situation. I no longer have the desire to try and remodel it and I don't really have the time anymore either. My wife wants to be done with it bad. it's probably the biggest point of contention in my marriage. There would need to be some work if they left just simply because they have damaged things. like him punching a hole in a wall of a freshly remodeled room. Not to mention the drama that would come from them. For example this is the type of mentality they have. The lady that does my wife's hair, her sister used to be friends with them. My wife was told that they would complain about having to pay ANYTHING for rent. They consider us "rich" we are not. we work hard and aren't stupid with our money. we make a good living yes. But they felt like they were entitled to a free ride just simply because I can afford it.

 

[Riverbottom]

I usually start the conversation: This is nothing personal, it is simply a business decision. Let your brother know the price, if not it is time to move.

I understand the situation I have sponsored some relatives in the past. Good Luck.

 

[ChumpChange]

If this is a true AITA, you need a TLDR at the end. lol

 

[paradise]

I usually start the conversation: This is nothing personal, it is simply a business decision. Let your brother know the price, if not it is time to move.

I understand the situation I have sponsored some relatives in the past. Good Luck.

I’d agree, let him know you’re selling the house and you’d like to give him first shot at it $20k under asking. He’ll pass on it and you’ll probably get over asking. Win/win.

 

[JDKRXW]

Nope, NTAH. ; this would be a good time to listen to your wife.
This situation is costing waaaayy more both mentally and monitarily than you're letting on.

 

[Kachina26]

it's probably the biggest point of contention in my marriage.

If it cost you peace it's too expensive.

 

[ltbaney1]

@paradise is spot on, give him the first shot. But i will add there is a deadline for a decision. something reasonable, like 2 weeks. if he says no or no answer tell him he has 2 weeks or what ever is legal / in the lease to get out and then list it and be done.

 

[DRYHEAT]

It sounds to me like your brother has been taking advantage of you for 13 years. He thinks you’re the rich guy and he’s doing you a favor.

Kick his bum ass out and sell the place and quit having heartburn about it.

 

[ChumpChange]

If it cost you peace it's too expensive.

What you quoted is the only sentence in the post that matters. There’s the answer.

 

[wzuber]

Sorry to say but your brother is a c.u.n.t...
Can't Understand Normal Thinking.
What is his preferred drug or alcohol of choice? Whether he wants to acknowledge it or not his life and we'll being is not your responsibility, it is soley his. Your actually doing him some disservice by enabling him to not realize his full potential and skate by on your good nature and care for him.
I agree with peeps previous statements here especially if it's negatively affecting how you feel and your marriage. Tough situation to be in, I feel for ya. Good luck with what you decide.

 

[Crazyhippy]

If it cost you peace it's too expensive.

If it costs your wife peace... its costing you a piece! Now your brother is cockblocking too!

 

[Motor Boater]

If it’s covering the mortgage then he’s paying off your house. I would let it ride as long as possible. If not, tell him he’s got to go, and raise the rent, offer it to someone else. I hate to see people sell real estate if they don’t absolutely have to. Another option would be to make him sign a lease and raise the rent a few hundred and give it to a management company to deal with. My wife and I were at each others throats when we were managing our rental. She wanted to sell, I placed it with a management company and it has been rented for 10 years. They pay my mortgage and the house has also appreciated a ton.

 

[n2otoofast4u]

Where is the house located?

 

[BeeBazaar]

Ohio.
Thanks for the feed back.

 

[Ragged Edge]

I’d agree, let him know you’re selling the house and you’d like to give him first shot at it $20k under asking. He’ll pass on it and you’ll probably get over asking. Win/win.

This. Do it now. Time for them to move on.

 

[Taboma]

If this is in California, can the brother now claim renter/squatters rights, requiring a legal process to evict ?

 

[Ziggy]

The asshole(s) are the ones talking shit behind your back about how filthy "rich" you are.....those are their true feelings toward you.
I'd bet they voted for Kameltoe too

 

[Hypnautic]

It has moved from helping your Brother to condoning his behavior.
You are only allowing him to behave this way cause you are supporting his lifestyle.
Rule #1--you dont rent to family members.

When I was 18/19 my girlfriend (now wife0 wanted to move into one of my parents units in HB. There answer was simply No, we do not rent to family. Didnt understand at the time--but I get it now 30yrs later.

He has no right to hold you hostage to his housing needs. Its your money/family on the line for it all. Think liability if he has friends over and the "slip and fall"? Stop being his guardian and let him earn what he needs. You essentially have your Brother living in your basement at this point. Stop enabling him.

 

[Tooms22]

I am a self proclaimed asshole with no soul. Most friends and family wouldn't say that about me but...

These are the situations I make the business decision. Sell the house. Your brother has a shit mindset about people who make more than him should pay for his living situation.

Maybe when he starts paying real market rent, he'll get a new job or work harder.

I can't stand the "Blood is thicker than water" people. "Family for life" or "You can't choose em so deal with em." Screw that, if you're family members don't treat you right, you shouldn't have to deal with them. Other good friends in your life can fill that void better than a shitty family member.

 

[BeeBazaar]

The asshole(s) are the ones talking shit behind your back about how filthy "rich" you are.....those are their true feelings toward you.
I'd bet they voted for Kameltoe too

Absolutely. When Bush and Kerry ran the only logic he had voting for Kerry was he was not a Bush. He doesn't know why he doesn't like Bush....

 

[TimeBandit]

A friend of mine owns lots of rentals, his brother lives in one with his family at a greatly reduced price.

It shows in both their faces how this is good for nobody. The welfare recipient is not "proud", my friend feels taken advantage of.

Never rent to friends/family, never "loan" money to friends/family.

The old saying is so true "familiarity leads to contempt".

 

[ltbaney1]

If it’s covering the mortgage then he’s paying off your house. I would let it ride as long as possible. If not, tell him he’s got to go, and raise the rent, offer it to someone else. I hate to see people sell real estate if they don’t absolutely have to. Another option would be to make him sign a lease and raise the rent a few hundred and give it to a management company to deal with. My wife and I were at each others throats when we were managing our rental. She wanted to sell, I placed it with a management company and it has been rented for 10 years. They pay my mortgage and the house has also appreciated a ton.

this is another good option I think. I dont know that i would let the brother stay, but if your not needing to sell it, why sell it? get him out, clean the place up a bit, and let a property management company handle it. becomes hands off for you and your wife, but becomes "passive income" and a appreciating asset.

 

[BeeBazaar]

I have written off numerous family members. While we don't really have anything in common and see ea. other maybe twice a year, I don't wish to necessarily upend his life. A large part of all this was for my niece and nephew. she graduates this year, he is maybe 8th grade or 9th? While I agree with the blood is thicker than water BS its also not what I aim at. Most people I know would tell you I am an asshole. I'm just blunt for the most part. I don't wish to upend his life, but it will happen.

I don't know if I agree on enabling him. I'll have to think on this point of view. I do agree on the not renting to family... today. 13 years ago I guess I had a different viewpoint maybe as I felt it was helping. Pieces kind of fell in place. The market was terrible and I wasn't giving the house away. I bought another house and they asked. He has never missed a rent payment. Probably because he would also tell you i am an asshole. so maybe he will expect whats coming. But also the original plan was they wanted to buy. It went from them wanting to buy to a rental. Had they bought when rates were 3%, it would be a completely different story today. It wasn't always a rent to take advantage of me type thing, on the surface anyway....