Advice/Input Needed: Child Custody During A Divorce. (Helping A Stranger In Need)

[RogerThat99]

After midnight last night I saw on an Internet Group that a fellow member needed to talk to someone and asked if anyone was available. I had him DM his number, I called, and we spoke for about 90 minutes.


BACKGROUND INFORMATION (keeping a vague as possible):

His wife filed for divorce (California), and unexpectedly moved halfway across the country with their young children. She wouldn't let him even talk to the children. She started a Go Fund Me and stated he is abusive, and a drug addict. I am cognizant that all of this could be true, but he says it isn't true and I none of my radar was going off about him. He seems like a caring Dad from his posts prior to this happening.

He went to the courthouse in his own, and filed papers for her to get the kids back to California. The Judge agreed and issued an order. The wife sent the kids to live with her parents in his area. He is still barely able to see his kids.

I have zero experience in custody matters. What options does a father have, when he doesn't have money for an attorney and make the mortgage?

Is there some county office that can provide guidance and possibly assistance? He is a Veteran, is there anything through the VA? Any guidance, advice, or personal experience is appreciated.

In case anyone is wondering, my kids are all adults, so this isn't an "asking for a friend. " thread.

 

[bonesfab]

A buddy has been going through this shit for four years now. Hasn't seen his kids in 3.5 years. The courts are so screwed up towards the father it is retarded. Good luck and hopefully he finds a sympathetic judge.

 

[Mikes56]

After midnight last night I saw on an Internet Group that a fellow member needed to talk to someone and asked if anyone was available. I had him DM his number, I called, and we spoke for about 90 minutes.


BACKGROUND INFORMATION (keeping a vague as possible):

His wife filed for divorce (California), and unexpectedly moved halfway across the country with their young children. She wouldn't let him even talk to the children. She started a Go Fund Me and stated he is abusive, and a drug addict. I am cognizant that all of this could be true, but he says it isn't true and I none of my radar was going off about him. He seems like a caring Dad from his posts prior to this happening.

He went to the courthouse in his own, and filed papers for her to get the kids back to California. The Judge agreed and issued an order. The wife sent the kids to live with her parents in his area. He is still barely able to see his kids.

I have zero experience in custody matters. What options does a father have, when he doesn't have money for an attorney and make the mortgage?

Is there some county office that can provide guidance and possibly assistance? He is a Veteran, is there anything through the VA? Any guidance, advice, or personal experience is appreciated.

In case anyone is wondering, my kids are all adults, so this isn't an "asking for a friend. " thread.

All the courthouses I know of have “Self Help” centers. They are free and are staffed by Attorneys and Paralegals that know their way around a courtroom.

Where is this happening at? I’m familiar with the LA County Courthouses.

 

[Lumpy]

First off…totally illegal what she did and hopefully the judge stays with the case. This poor guy really needs an attorney that works within the county this is happening. As for the child custody, California is a 50/50 state so unless he has a serious reason for the court to keep the kids from him 50% should not be a problem. Her parents have no rights in the matter so unless she is living there with the kids he should pretty much have the right to take them anytime. As for the courts being heavy handed towards men I beg to differ. The problem with most men in these situations is they act and behave like idiots and end up screwing themselves…biggest mistake is leaving the home…first one to leave looses. This woman taking the children out of state let alone the county would be considered kidnapping to a certain point unless okayed by the court. At this point he is going to have to go through what I call a “take to the mat” approach so as not to get himself thrown in jail. Take it to the mat meaning take it to the judge over and over until the custody and MSA is all worked out. He needs to be super dad and fight for his kids custody and take no less than 50/50. Only a wack job takes the kids like that unless he is what she says he is…doesn’t sound like it. How do I know? I made my EX pay me child support for 6 years…I “took it to the mat” and burned that bitch down.

Here is a good resource…hope it helps.

Divorce 101 | A Comprehensive Divorce Guide For Men

Divorce 101 is the best place to start looking for information on any stage of divorce, with topical video guides, divorce essentials, quizzes and more.

mensdivorce.com

 

[RogerThat99]

All the courthouses I know of have “Self Help” centers. They are free and are staffed by Attorneys and Paralegals that know their way around a courtroom.

Where is this happening at? I’m familiar with the LA

All the courthouses I know of have “Self Help” centers. They are free and are staffed by Attorneys and Paralegals that know their way around a courtroom.

Where is this happening at? I’m familiar with the LA County Courthouses.

Placer County in Northern Califonia.

 

[RogerThat99]

First off…totally illegal what she did and hopefully the judge stays with the case. This poor guy really needs an attorney that works within the county this is happening. As for the child custody, California is a 50/50 state so unless he has a serious reason for the court to keep the kids from him 50% should not be a problem. Her parents have no rights in the matter so unless she is living there with the kids he should pretty much have the right to take them anytime. As for the courts being heavy handed towards men I beg to differ. The problem with most men in these situations is they act and behave like idiots and end up screwing themselves…biggest mistake is leaving the home…first one to leave looses. This woman taking the children out of state let alone the county would be considered kidnapping to a certain point unless okayed by the court. At this point he is going to have to go through what I call a “take to the mat” approach so as not to get himself thrown in jail. Take it to the mat meaning take it to the judge over and over until the custody and MSA is all worked out. He needs to be super dad and fight for his kids custody and take no less than 50/50. Only a wack job takes the kids like that unless he is what she says he is…doesn’t sound like it. How do I know? I made my EX pay me child support for 6 years…I “took it to the mat” and burned that bitch down.

Here is a good resource…hope it helps.

Divorce 101 | A Comprehensive Divorce Guide For Men

Divorce 101 is the best place to start looking for information on any stage of divorce, with topical video guides, divorce essentials, quizzes and more.

mensdivorce.com

Thanks I will pass that along. They do have 50/50 custody, but the wife isn't honoring that.

 

[Lumpy]

Thanks I will pass that along. They do have 50/50 custody, but the wife isn't honoring that.

Then she is in contempt of court…this will work in his favor and could be grounds for more custody, ”take it to the mat”!!!