7th grade bullying?

[endobear]

So my son just got back from a Moab camping trip with his outdoor education class at school.
Got tormented by a few boys for 3 days.
Usual kid shit. Stealing his hat, sunglasses, pushing him into the mud, shoving dirt/mud/snow down his coat and pants. He told the teacher and the teacher talked with the kids but it continued. 20 kids and 4 adults in the group.
My son is new at the school, in advance classes, str8 a student. Doesn't really care what he wears, is super thin and is a total computer nerd. Teachers love him as he is super polite, smart and respectful.
I don't know what to tell him. I know it's a different time and you can't just throat punch a turd for messing with you but christ.
My old man always told me I would never get in trouble at home for fighting as long as I didn't start it. Never start a fight but always finish it.
I told my boy the same thing. I also told him that he needed to let the teacher know that he would defend himself if it continued.
He's not a tough guy by any means and I feel that it's just going to keep happening if he doesn't stand up for himself. Even if he gets his ass beat he needs to.
Kids will most likely stop if they think he will stand up for himself.

 

[Gelcoater]

Martial Arts

 

[hallett21]

Does he have any interest in martial arts?

5-8th grade kids are the meanest people on earth imo.

 

[Mikes56]

One kick to the biggest bully’s nuts and that will be the end of it. He may get suspended for a few days, but does that really matter?

 

[endobear]

I put him In a class a few years ago. He wasn't feeling it. That may have changed now though. I'll see what he thinks.

 

[Activated]

Jiu jitsu Is going to make him a very confident person.

 

[endobear]

One kick to the biggest bully’s nuts and that will be the end of it. He may get suspended for a few days, but does that really matter?

Told him the next kid that puts him in a head lock to grab a handful of pork and beans and squeeze until they let go of him.

 

[mbrown2]

That's unfortunate....the effects from bullying can stick with you through life and change your approach to things...best whatever can be done be done quickly so he can gain self confidence back...... those friggen kids are turds..

 

[hallett21]

Bullying imo 9 times out of 10 is someone preying on a lack of confidence.

Seems like there are so many different types of martial arts training these days. Maybe look into what style would suit your kid.

Just knowing you can defend yourself puts you in the driver seat on 99% of confrontations.

 

[hallett21]

Told him the next kid that puts him in a head lock to grab a handful of pork and beans and squeeze until they let go of him.

Ya fuck that (headlocks). It’s one thing if 2 kids are mutually fighting or screwing around. Whole different think picking on someone.

When I was 9/10 me and a buddy got picked on and put in head locks by some 13/14 year olds.

My dad found out loaded us both in the truck and knocked on this kids front door. Told the kid and his dad to their face that if it happened again he’d come find the kid lol. This was 2000-2001.

Edit:

I should add that contact team sports were helpful for myself. Playing hockey and lacrosse gave me a lot of confidence since you’re trying to kill each other all game long.

 

[Gelcoater]

Bullying imo 9 times out of 10 is someone preying on a lack of confidence.

Seems like there are so many different types of martial arts training these days. Maybe look into what style would suit your kid.

Just knowing you can defend yourself puts you in the driver seat on 99% of confrontations.

This.
He’s not going to be into the Kobra Kai style shit.
Personally I think he should check out Aikido. Is primarily a defense style.

 

[SoCalDave]

8th grade I had an individual that had a problem with me and I kept trying to avoid him as I was a runt and he was pretty tough. My older brother heard about it and sat me down one evening and told me if I don't stand up to him it will continue and everyone will look at me as a pussy.
The next day at school sure enough here he comes out of the breezeway and confronted me. I gave it my best shot and hit him with all I had which stung him pretty good but he recovered fast and beat my ass good. Later that year we became good friends and everyone knew I wasn't afraid to put up with no ones shit. A lesson learned the hard way but there was no other choice at the time.
As others have mentioned maybe try to get him back onto MA if it's not to late. Good luck for him what ever path he shall take.

 

[RiverDave]

I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with this.. it’s a very tough position to be in..

 

[yz450mm]

Your post really hurts me to the core, I was bullied third through fifth grade and I think it changed me for life. My parents attempted to help, but being at a Catholic private school was like going to school on a different planet. I remember bitch slapping one of the kids one day, he left me alone after that.

Put your kid in some Jiu-jitsu classes and tell him to stand up for himself, no matter what. Tell him to make sure the other douchebag kid makes the first move, then go full throttle. If he's not into the Jiu-Jitsu classes, maybe sign up with him?

 

[hallett21]

@rivermobster
@BHC Vic
@Gelcoater
@RiverDave

I believe they all have put their kids through martial arts.

 

[RiverDave]

Your post really hurts me to the core, I was bullied third through fifth grade and I think it changed me for life. My parents attempted to help, but being at a Catholic private school was like going to school on a different planet. I remember bitch slapping one of the kids one day, he left me alone after that.

Put your kid in some Jiu-jitsu classes and tell him to stand up for himself, no matter what. Tell him to make sure the other douchebag kid makes the first move, then go full throttle. If he's not into the Jiu-Jitsu classes, maybe sign up with him?

I have never understood the idea of letting someone else make the first move..

End of the day it’s your word against his.. I’d have him throat punch the cocksucker then stomp the shit out of him with the advantage..

Then when it’s over I’d tell him to say “he swung at me and missed”.

Why he a victim, when you are already a victim..

 

[RiverDave]

@rivermobster
@BHC Vic
@Gelcoater
@RiverDave

I believe they all have put their kids through martial arts.

All of my kids have been in MMA since they were toddlers.. I don’t care what they want to do, IE. Daniel is playing soccer right now.. but they aren’t allowed to quit MMA..

Everyone’s kids are in it nowadays.. if a kid isn’t I feel sorry for them when they get to high school.. shit isn’t like it used to be.

It isn’t a couple of kids with near zero fight training going at it and which one is tougher or luckier wins.. now when kids get after it they wrap you up like a god damn boa constrictor, or catch ya with some flying knee bullshit..

I’d strongly recommend for every parent to have their kids in MMA or some kinda martial arts..

 

[stoker22405]

Try and get your son into some type of Kick Boxing, Martial arts ect class,
Put my son in 1 on 1 training 3 days a week when he was in 4th grade, He is now in 6th grade still trains 1 on 1 3 days a week,
He got picked on twice this year, It didn't end well for the Bully...!

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

Rex-kwando!

Jk on a serious note maybe get him into club wrestling... Its outside of school, he might get slaughtered for a couple seasons but if takes it into high school he will be way ahead of the game. And he will learn fighting style.

 

[77charger]

My son is high function autism and was a loner in 7-8 grade. But had some issues in 6th. Same deal nerdy talk skinny kid not a fighter. Luckily issues weren’t as bad as far as I knew in 7-8 grade but 5-6-Rg was kinda rough at times and schools will not do a thing but preach anti bullying.

High school was better for him found a couple friends and made it through pretty good. IMO any kids that pick on others with any handicaps need to get their asses whipped pisses me off to see this stuff happen.

 

[Caydens Cat]

I’m really sorry to read this. That was my uprising. Bullies. Wish I could help with an answer. At some point, I got physical. @ 1:1 it would not be a match. So it would be groups encounters. Still haunted “at age”.

 

[spectra3279]

Hand him a bat. One good hit and it will be over

 

[Gelcoater]

@rivermobster
@BHC Vic
@Gelcoater
@RiverDave

I believe they all have put their kids through martial arts.

One of mine did it briefly.
But she is the kid that would have wrenched one of those kids elbo into a pretzel as soon as any of them touched her.
She’s never been one to tolerate it.
I know of at least one school incident some kids arm ended up in a sling.

 

[endobear]

So talked with him a bit more about it. Apparently it's been going on at school but not as bad.
Grabbing his food at lunch and slamming his locker closed when he opens it. He's been carrying all his books so he doesn't have to stop at his locker any more. I should have known something was up when he was asking about breaking out my old freeweight crap.
He's on board with doing some martial arts training.

 

[Mr. C]

I was bullied for lack of better word. Always picked on by one or two kids a little older than me. Just took until one day I was walking home from school and said bully did his typical bs again. I finally just thought F it. If I get my ass kick so be it. But I had enough. He pushed me a few times and I had back turned and he pushed me again. I lost It turned and nailed with a left he went down and I jumped on top of him. Shoved his face in the grass until he stopped moving. Then I was scared like crazy I thought I had killed him. I walked away as he layed there stopped and looked back and then waited. Some 20 minutes went by and he finally moved and slowly got up and went home. I was never picked on again. But I was scared as shit for few days.
I do think even if I got my ass kicked it would of stopped because I just wouldn’t allow them to keep doing it.



I wish you and your son the best with your situation

 

[Kachina26]

Send him to school with a bat and have him knee-cap one of the fuckers.

 

[endobear]

Ya fuck that (headlocks). It’s one thing if 2 kids are mutually fighting or screwing around. Whole different think picking on someone.

When I was 9/10 me and a buddy got picked on and put in head locks by some 13/14 year olds.

My dad found out loaded us both in the truck and knocked on this kids front door. Told the kid and his dad to their face that if it happened again he’d come find the kid lol. This was 2000-2001.

Edit:

I should add that contact team sports were helpful for myself. Playing hockey and lacrosse gave me a lot of confidence since you’re trying to kill each other all game long.

I got maced by a couple of 12-13 year olds when I was about 7 walking home from school. My mom found the kids and where they lived. Had some sort of talk with the parents. Never had a problem after that.
I may just do the same..

 

[HTTP404]

He will have more $ and ass when it is all said and done.

 

[t&y]

So my son just got back from a Moab camping trip with his outdoor education class at school.
Got tormented by a few boys for 3 days.
Usual kid shit. Stealing his hat, sunglasses, pushing him into the mud, shoving dirt/mud/snow down his coat and pants. He told the teacher and the teacher talked with the kids but it continued. 20 kids and 4 adults in the group.
My son is new at the school, in advance classes, str8 a student. Doesn't really care what he wears, is super thin and is a total computer nerd. Teachers love him as he is super polite, smart and respectful.
I don't know what to tell him. I know it's a different time and you can't just throat punch a turd for messing with you but christ.
My old man always told me I would never get in trouble at home for fighting as long as I didn't start it. Never start a fight but always finish it.
I told my boy the same thing. I also told him that he needed to let the teacher know that he would defend himself if it continued.
He's not a tough guy by any means and I feel that it's just going to keep happening if he doesn't stand up for himself. Even if he gets his ass beat he needs to.
Kids will most likely stop if they think he will stand up for himself.

That is a tough place to be in as a parent. He needs to stand up for himself or find a way to completely avoid them. I've made it clear to all my kids that I will walk them out of school with a smile on my face if they get suspended for defending themselves. Your boy is going to have to take a chance and fight back. That is all that will shut this down unfortunately.

My boy had a bully in 8th grade. The dad was a medicated jackass... very flamboyant, and always threatened to sue people claiming bullshit. We had a nice discussion where I made it clear that if his kid keeps acting like a jackass, my kid has my full support to knock his teeth out. And I'd gladly follow suit with him in the parking lot after the kids were done. He was a total piece of shit and thankfully left the school before it got any worse. The administration was very aware of did nothing.

 

[Magic Mike]

For end a fight quickly self defense I’d consider Krav Maga.
Jiu jitsu, MMA, Karate are all great also. Best of luck, horrible thing to have to deal with…

 

[boat527]

8th grade I had an individual that had a problem with me and I kept trying to avoid him as I was a runt and he was pretty tough. My older brother heard about it and sat me down one evening and told me if I don't stand up to him it will continue and everyone will look at me as a pussy.
The next day at school sure enough here he comes out of the breezeway and confronted me. I gave it my best shot and hit him with all I had which stung him pretty good but he recovered fast and beat my ass good. Later that year we became good friends and everyone knew I wasn't afraid to put up with no ones shit. A lesson learned the hard way but there was no other choice at the time.
As others have mentioned maybe try to get him back onto MA if it's not to late. Good luck for him what ever path he shall take.

8th is tough. My older brother told me " hit the guy thats doing the talking"

8th for me:

We were getting ready to move out of state ( in ' 73) i came out of a locker room and basically had to walk a gauntlet through all of my former " friends" with the loudmouth ( bigger than me) at the end.. we had words, i let him hit me twice in the face , saying " I dont want to fight you". He swung for a 3rd shot and i dropped him.. everyone backed up and I stepped over him and left.

I never had another issue.

Granted, this is 2022, kids carry tazers or worse. I feel for your situation and wish I could give you some " what to do's"

 

[endobear]

I'm sure I won't get anywhere letting the teachers know what's going on.
They do have an older on duty cop on campus full time. I will mention what's going on to him on Monday so he can keep an eye on things.

 

[Mr. C]

8th is tough. My older brother told me " hit the guy thats doing the talking"

8th for me:

We were getting ready to move out of state ( in ' 73) i came out of a locker room and basically had to walk a gauntlet through all of my former " friends" with the loudmouth ( bigger than me) at the end.. we had words, i let him hit me twice in the face , saying " I dont want to fight you". He swung for a 3rd shot and i dropped him.. everyone backed up and I stepped over him and left.

I never had another issue.

Granted, this is 2022, kids carry tazers or worse. I feel for your situation and wish I could give you some " what to do's"

Mine would of been about the same year. Times are definitely different. But at the same at some point you have to stand up for yourself. No matter the out come.
This day and age as you said. What do you do ???

 

[Mr. C]

I'm sure I won't get anywhere letting the teachers know what's going on.
They do have an older on duty cop on campus full time. I will mention what's going on to him on Monday so he can keep an eye on things.

In these times. Maybe you need be loud and threaten lawsuits and call the news. Seems the only thing that’s get attention these days is bad publicity. Especially for a school.

 

[Your ad here]

7th grade so he's 12 or 13. I don't have kids but I'll give this a try. I graduated in 2007. This stuff happens in school and goes away as you get older, it just takes time. Unfortunately it's like another 5 years for him. Part of a way I deal with people that are "less than an ideal person" is I tell myself I'm glad I woke up in my body this morning and not theirs because people don't like them and I wouldn't want to be them. With that said it confirms the bullies are the problem and it's not ones self. It is tough to avoid bullies when you're in the same school as them. I as the parent would be at the school in person talking to the principal and teacher(s) being a problem telling them fix this bully problem because in my opinion that is part of their job and keep at it until it the problem is corrected.
Another thing you can do is dress as a butcher with blood all over you and sit in class with your kid and keep making eye contact with the bullies as if their blood is next. My GF dad did this when she was in middle school but he was actually a slaughterer. It fix most of the problems. I keep seeing martial arts stuff but the person has to be into it and like mentioned above it works best 1 on 1. 1 on 4 may not end to well. I wouldn't know what to tell the kid to say to make things better.

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

Buddy’s son is going through the same thing. Makes my blood boil as he’s such a good kid, and got beat up for sticking up for a younger kid this week.

He needs to toughen up and get in some Jiu Jitsu. Good luck and keep him focused.

 

[CLdrinker]

Jiu jitsu Is going to make him a very confident person.

Teach him to choke a mother fucker

 

[endobear]

I lived in shit hole Albuquerque 7th-10th grade. Total minority as a white skater/moto kid. Dealt with bulling wannabe Vatos and gangbangers regularly. 9th grade i Got my hat taken in the locker rooms. Go figure . Stood up to the dude who took it. Started scrapping. Next thing I knew the door was locked and I was going at it with 3 more wannabe choloes. Got my ass beat. Luckily my sister's upper classmate friends were there and saved my ass.

Couple days later they corner me in the hall after school. I say I'll fight each one of you but not here. As im walking through school with a huge crowd behind me one of my buddies sees what's going on. He goes and grabs a bunch of my group.
We head off campus.
1st dude that stepped up got faked with a left and popped with a right as hard as I could before he even got his hands up. Instant goose egg to the eye socket followed by another to the nose. Broke it. The rest decided they didn't want any and never fucked with me again.

My kid isn't me though. I just can't ever picture him getting mad enough or confident enough to fight.

 

[yz450mm]

I have never understood the idea of letting someone else make the first move..

End of the day it’s your word against his.. I’d have him throat punch the cocksucker then stomp the shit out of him with the advantage..

Then when it’s over I’d tell him to say “he swung at me and missed”.

Why he a victim, when you are already a victim..

That was true when we were in school, but now there are cameras everywhere that will prove your kid wrong. Throwing the first punch equals assault and battery, defending yourself from the first punch equals self defense.

 

[TrollerDave]

So talked with him a bit more about it. Apparently it's been going on at school but not as bad.
Grabbing his food at lunch and slamming his locker closed when he opens it. He's been carrying all his books so he doesn't have to stop at his locker any more. I should have known something was up when he was asking about breaking out my old freeweight crap.
He's on board with doing some martial arts training.

As long as he is on board with the weights and martial arts, it can help. As long as your not forcing him into it.
Sometimes, it’s just not in the kid to fight back, no matter how much you tell him. 2nd -8th was tough for me being “husky”. I was taller and bigger than all of them, but it just wasn’t in me.
Even did karate, but I wasn’t serious about it, so it didn’t help. But we mostly just went through the motions. If he were to get into a good contact grappling type classes, that may help him get used to it and more confident with it. Break out the weights and work out with him.
Jr high was the toughest.
Things got better in high school.
It’s a real tough spot to be in, as the kid or parent. Especially if it was the opposite of how your dad was as a kid.
Good luck to you and your boy.

 

[rivermobster]

So my son just got back from a Moab camping trip with his outdoor education class at school.
Got tormented by a few boys for 3 days.
Usual kid shit. Stealing his hat, sunglasses, pushing him into the mud, shoving dirt/mud/snow down his coat and pants. He told the teacher and the teacher talked with the kids but it continued. 20 kids and 4 adults in the group.
My son is new at the school, in advance classes, str8 a student. Doesn't really care what he wears, is super thin and is a total computer nerd. Teachers love him as he is super polite, smart and respectful.
I don't know what to tell him. I know it's a different time and you can't just throat punch a turd for messing with you but christ.
My old man always told me I would never get in trouble at home for fighting as long as I didn't start it. Never start a fight but always finish it.
I told my boy the same thing. I also told him that he needed to let the teacher know that he would defend himself if it continued.
He's not a tough guy by any means and I feel that it's just going to keep happening if he doesn't stand up for himself. Even if he gets his ass beat he needs to.
Kids will most likely stop if they think he will stand up for himself.

I put my kids in kajukenbo. It's the original mixed martial art.

It's designed for self defense street fighting. Like if five guys jump you? They should have brought more guys!

But know...

Their grand master would have expelled them instantly if they Ever got in a fight. Some kid tried to punch my son (in high school) one day, and my son just stood there and slapped his hands away.

The bully was like...

WTF? Are you in martial arts or something?? The kid turned and just walked away.

The only time you are allowed to strike full force is if you're a black belt, and you're fighting another black belt in competition.

"We teach discipline and self defense" is what grand master told me when I first checked the place out.

Both of my kids were one belt away from their black belts when life got in the way.

I'll never have to worry about either of them. I can't recommend it enough.

 

[hallett21]

Something to be aware of with martial arts is that the student needs a teacher who can teach legitimate life lessons. As well as how to do damage when warranted.

I grew up knowing kids who probably could legitimately decapitate a person as well as “belts” who would fall over if the wind blew too hard.

No different than a coach for your every day sports team. You get great ones and terrible ones.

 

[Desert Whaler]

Solid Post from a Solid Dad . . . I read your post and didn't read a single reply.
I always wanted to have kids . . .but never did. The fact that You came on to post tells me You're Solid as fuck.
Do what comes from your heart, and do Your deal . . . your Son will thank you later.

 

[wishiknew]

Try and get your son into some type of Kick Boxing, Martial arts ect class,
Put my son in 1 on 1 training 3 days a week when he was in 4th grade, He is now in 6th grade still trains 1 on 1 3 days a week,
He got picked on twice this year, It didn't end well for the Bully...!

Like father like son!!!!!

 

[DWC]

Jiu Jitsu all day long. Preferably no gi training. It’ll teach real world self defense.

 

[rmarion]

EDB

Is your son in the same class with them???

I had the same situation occur in the 4th grade... (I'm old a F... can't even remember what year)

I retailated in class.. threw him againest the wall, my fist to his face.... one time...

we both were taken to the Principle office.. parents called.... I don't remember if I was exepelled... I didnt give a F!!!

never happen again, for the next two years.... puberty took over.... no more scuffles...



things are differant now a days.....


But, if that occured to my sons, I'd give them my blessing to do what I did.... MAKE IT HURT!!! just remember.. NO RULES IN STREET FIGHT..


Goodluck.. shitty situation for your son....

sorry he's going thru this...

 

[rivermobster]

I have never understood the idea of letting someone else make the first move..

There are Many reasons for this. The primary one being is so you can see your oponents style.

My son told me after many years in martial arts...

Dad, when someone throws a punch at me, I can see it coming like it's in slow motion.

When you watch Real competition, most of the blows being thrown usually miss, or are Easily deflected. It's the counter punch that almost always takes an opponent out.

Only a fool throws the first punch in a street fight, cause you Never know what the guy you square up against Might know...

 

[SBMech]

Take charge of this now.

Teach your kid how to punch. Foot stomp. Nut smash with a knee.

Let him hit you as hard as he can while he is learning and correct him so he does not break his wrist or a finger.

Teach him to eye gouge, ear slap, or any of the several things that easily incapacitate other humans almost instantly.

Nothing is fair in a fight, the goal is to hurt the other motherfucker so bad, quickly, that they loose all interest in a "fight" or bullying them and stay far far away from you and are terrified of even crossing your path.

A single week of this for 30 minutes a night, and let him take charge. The first punch will probably prevent anything else, since a well thrown solid hit will TKO almost any kid not involved in a regular high contact sport or contact martial arts.

Even if they are some MMA wannabe, they are taught rules blah blah blah, those incapacitating strikes are illegal, but actually fucking WORK against almost anyone.

They won't even know what hit them.

Sorry to hear your kid is being bullied, I was for many years smaller than other kids and once I hit 7th grade grew 10 inches and gained 80lbs over the summer.

I paid back shit in spades, and became an anti-bully. Literally beating ass of upper classmen occasionally who were dicks.

But that was then, and this is now. Hope your situation works out.

Fuck bullies!

 

[monkeyswrench]

My kid isn't me though. I just can't ever picture him getting mad enough or confident enough to fight.

I see your quote, "My kid isn't me though." I want nothing more than my kids to not be like me. These other guys talk of MMA stuff, and fighting disciplines I know nothing of. I know what it's like to feel my own bones break, and also what feels like to feel someone else's. I see Mobster says only a fool throws the first punch...I was a fool, mostly. The first punch was usually taken to stop the next. In a perfect world, the fight would always be fair, but that is rarely the case. At what point does self defense become escalation though? To what end does it lead in the modern era? I don't know what the right answers are. I am lucky to have made it here.

My middle one is 16, and much the same as your boy, but possibly magnified. He is polite and smart, but a loner and hides behind books. So far, no issues with punks of any note. For that I am thankful.

 

[SBMech]

I see your quote, "My kid isn't me though." I want nothing more than my kids to not be like me. These other guys talk of MMA stuff, and fighting disciplines I know nothing of. I know what it's like to feel my own bones break, and also what feels like to feel someone else's. I see Mobster says only a fool throws the first punch...I was a fool, mostly. The first punch was usually taken to stop the next. In a perfect world, the fight would always be fair, but that is rarely the case. At what point does self defense become escalation though? To what end does it lead in the modern era? I don't know what the right answers are. I am lucky to have made it here.

My middle one is 16, and much the same as your boy, but possibly magnified. He is polite and smart, but a loner and hides behind books. So far, no issues with punks of any note. For that I am thankful.

Every kid has pride. Even if they hide it, no one wants to be anyone's bitch.

If you have to dig it out of your kids, make sure they know how to protect themselves, or how to communicate with YOU to do that.

I could care less if my nieces and nephews can fight, I'll do all the fucking fighting if necessary.

All of mine prefer to take care of their own business, at least at this point, so they are all in Jujitsu or Aikido.

Plus I let then go at me full contact, open them up to their potential. At 9,10,11, and 12 they can all bruise me up pretty good at this point.

I'm happy, because I'm fucking 300+lbs and a very tough guy. They can pretty much wipe the floor with any of their classmates, or even a few grades higher.